Part of me always thought the level of splash during a flip turn was directly proportional to the level of insecurity in any given swimmer. But now I know its all about the boogy woogies! Gross!

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Don't know if this has been touched on in the 97 other pages of this wonderful thread, but is the guy with the whale-tail-fin-like-MASSIVE-splash-flip-turn-guy a strange denizen? Or is he just a better flip turner than me?

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This may be me...

I love the 'thwock' of a flip turn as much as a cat likes to push glasses of the table. I try to tone it down if I'm sharing a lane or people are standing on the deck, but if I get into an interval set I may forget my manners and splash away. My splash zone is often several times bigger than folks in the other lanes and I have to be careful to hang my towel a good distance away.

I used to take some pride in it ( my turn, not the splash) , but I've realized when I get in faster lanes that I often lose distance to people who have a much quicker rotation at the wall so I don;t think I'm great a flip turns anymore... I just love that sound.

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" I take my gear out of my car and put my bike together. Tourists and locals are watching from sidewalk cafes. Non-racers. The emptiness of of their lives shocks me. "
(opening lines from Tim Krabbe's The Rider , 1978

Fair enough. Thank you for at least being cognizant since the guy at my pool splashes like such a madman all of the stuff on the nearby chairs gets wet..and he seems to take pleasure in it. It's truly ridiculous.

(side note, Krabbe's The Rider is an amazing read. Personal favorite!)

There's a guy in my masters who splashes like that on his flip turn
The coach has to grab the white board with the sets on it and turn it around every time he gets near or it washes off the whole thing

That's hilarious. Sometimes I think there should be mandatory classes when you are a child and then later as an adult on situational awareness.

#goals

There was a dude like this at my pool a few times last year, but the thing was he only put up the big splash in the shallow end. You could see it... normally turn at the far wall, then "boom" at the shallow end. Seemed like it was either a "look how awesome I am" thing or a "I don't like sharing a lane, so take this you fuckers resting at the wall" thing.

After reading all 98 pages of this thread(I'm working on a major paper for law school, and this was my relief/distraction...), I feel prepared to make at least a couple of contributions.

First, I'll confirm all of the denizens seen previously. The aquarobics ladies, slow swimming open-turners, muscle-bros, old dudes warming their junk with the dryers, etc. have built the foundations of this thread, and to an extent I thank them.

Now, for some denizens. I was a lifeguard for 8 or so years during high school and college, and a swimmer before and after that. I've spent a lot of time around the water, in various locations, and have the following to report:

1. "If I don't get my own lane I'll vomit" lady. No joke, she claimed that if there wasn't a lane specifically reserved for her, she would take in so much water that she would vomit. The pool didn't keep lane lines in at that time, so when she came in we had to put a lane line in specifically for her. Didn't matter if the line was slack and didn't do any good, she just wanted it there, and she swam in the gutter lane. Never saw her vomit.

2. The face-scrubber. This one was frequently mocked by the guards, and went by various names. She would swim under the water, no goggles, and every time she broke the surface she would vigorously wipe her face with both hands, up and down, to get the water out of her eyes. Always thought it would have just been easier to get a pair of goggles...

3. This is highly specific and a one-off, but an interesting story and (I think) worth sharing. We were fortunate enough at my university to host the training camp for the local NFL team. We had a lot of strange sights at the pool during that time, including a pallet of brand new Nike tennis shoes, complete with marked numbers, for use in the pool only, and a signed waiver that a certain now-retired quarterback would be permitted to use the pool by himself with only representatives from the team there and no lifeguards.

Anyway, during an "open swim" time, two of our backup quarterbacks and a punter came and visited the pool for some recreation. At one end of our SCY pool were some deck chairs, and they took turns throwing a water polo ball from the other end trying to hit the chairs. The humorous part of this was that both backup quarterbacks missed horribly, like not even close, while the punter nailed the chair every time. That punter later gained notoriety for "allegedly" swimming in a local canal.

4. At another pool, we once had to pull a patron out of the water so that the police could arrest him. The pool was a local muni in a small town, and the incident took place on the worst of all days: Free Day. This patron had been belligerent for most of the day, and apparently had offended a few of our regular patrons to the point that the called the police to have the man arrested. The police showed up, but didn't want to get in the water to get the man out to arrest him. So, one of our more beefcake guards decided to take matters into his own hands, and jumped in and wrestled this grossly overweight, sweaty, intoxicated man from the water so that he could be arrested. When I left that pool, free day was unfortunately still a weekly fixture.

As a final note, while running on the treadmill the other day at a LifeTime Fitness, I saw a commercial that made me understand how the aquarobics folks think they're doing something worthwhile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVUbGBop_9E

If those dudes got that jacked using those things, then I'm the King of Canada.

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Brenden Macy
Sports & Entertainment Attorney
I am Drive. I am Grit. I am Determination.

I felt like the denizen last Friday and yesterday, trying out a wetsuit. I've never used them and I need to for Oceanside 70.3... Weird looks from every one except the Masters team (they all know me). But every other swimmer gave me the weird looks.

Kids had swim lessons this morning at the YMCA. The fact it was a Y made this one worse.

Lady shows up in her Tri gear to do laps while I’m waiting on our kids lessons.

First clue was the full on race kit. Lady got asked to turn her “do epic shit” swim cap inside out.

Seriously? Other than a Tri, where can you wear that? That’s not remotely acceptable at a YMCA while there’s dozens of young kids right next to you.

Kids know what shit is. Dumb? Yeah. But parents are waaay too sensitive these days.

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'It never gets easier, you just get crazier.'

not a denizen issue per se but I like the bluntness of this instruction at our hotel pool:

In case of fecal accident the pool will remain closed for 24 hours while being cleaned and disinfected.

My regular pool's protocol is skimmer net, half an hour, and fingers crossed

Disturbing Denizen:

Yesterday afternoon, I went to supervise children's swimming lessons. The facility is usually reserved for adults, but we have children's lessons once a week in the warmer lap pool. I went through the locker room, the only way out to the pool, and noticed a man in his late 50's or early 60's, with lots of tattoos, shaving at the sink.

I went back about 10-15 minutes later to use the toilet, and saw the same guy, still at the sink, wiping off the counter area with a tee-shirt. I thought it was a bit odd that he took that long to shave...

...I went back again about 45 minutes later, and the same guy was in the shower. Considering the time frame he was there, I thought it really odd, especially since there were also kids in the locker room with their dads. So, while I was creeped out, and I did report it to the front desk staff, I was at least somewhat relieved that there were dads in there with the kids, so at least there were protections in case things got really pervy. It turns out that the guy has caused problems before, so with this latest incident report, there will be more people keeping track of him, because not only does he lurk in the locker room, but he sneaks by the front desk clerks and doesn't give his name if he's challenged.

Speaking of that locker room, today it's back to adults. I was on my way through to visit with the lifeguards, when I saw the STEREOTYPE behavior of older men in a locker room. A guy in his 70's just finished at the sinks, with hair perfectly combed and a close shave...

...but, you guessed it, COMPLETELY NAKED.

I don't even shave at home naked. I also don't comb my hair, because I don't have much left.

Neither do they. That would just be weird. That's reserved for the locker room at the gym.

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

D'Wife & I went for a swim Friday at the gym and even though there was a sign saying the pool temp was 81* and the heater was scheduled for service, it sure as fuck didn't feel that way = brrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Made worse for her because, even though she had told her weightlifting friend she & I would be swimming and not out in the gym itself, her friend came to visit the pool anyway for some girl-talk

At first, Patricia just stood on the deck while D'Wife stayed in the water, but then D'Wife felt she wasn't giving her friend the attention she required, so she climbed out & toweled off [I resumed my swim long before that]

Once her friend left, D'Wife had to return to the water. Ten or fifteen minutes had passed

"Fuck, that's cold!!!" she shrieked
"Yep" I responded "Shoulda told Patsy you'd call her later"

We didn't stay much longer

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

It's a useful skill to have if your lane counter starts f'ing with you and you need to retaliate. Just don't do it in a close race. Not sure I've ever done that in a real meet but I definitely have in a handful of mock meets.

In general I prefer to go with minimum splashiness wherever possible, though.

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All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. ~Gandalf

Finished my swim session at the Y, showered, and went to the locker area. I make a left turn down the first row of lockers (which has a bench in the middle between the lockers on each side) and there, laying on his back, completely naked, fully sprawled like he was in a backstroke streamline, is naked dude.

Somehow, this seemed normal to me so I just changed and left.

I think the Y locker room has desensitized me.

This week my usual pool was down for repairs so my buddy and I decided to check out another pool.

The pool is much less busy (which is awesome) but the lifeguard (his shirt said 'head lifeguard') spent the whole time chatting when one person or another in pool. He came over and asked if we were elite, because I had a black kickboard/pull buoy. Granted, we were in the fast lane, but I'm not sure these things are colour coded to signify skill.

Then the next lifeguard comes in to relieve him (around here at the city looks they swap every 15 mins) and he switches to the lane beside us doing laps until it's his turn again.

Shouldn't he be, I don't know, head lifeguarding or something?

I'm not sure what it says about me that I'm going to make that pool my regular one, because it wasn't busy at all. Who needs lifeguard when you have your own lane?

Probably not a good idea when he's guarding on the clock. However, back from my lifeguarding days, I'd be happy that he can even swim laps. In-services at my pool were always eye opening because you realized that 90%+ of the lifeguards could hardly finish a 300 yard swim.

I was an open water lifeguard during my high school years and college (late 80's and early 90's). depending on how busy we were, we'd go from a minimum of 2 guards to a maximum of 5 for a small inland "lake". If it wasn't busy, we were encouraged to "train", which might entail swimming across the lake and back, running around the lake, or doing rescue board work. However, if it was a busy July 4th weekend, everyone rotated in without much time to rotate out to "train".

Agree with the previous poster who described lifeguards who could barely swim 300 yds. except for the high school and college swimmers, most of us were only moderate for swim ability. Having said that, we had a smaller guy who was a high school swim team stud, and a torpedo in the water. I don't think I'd have put money on him pulling in some of the whales in the swim area, if needed.

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Not everything is as it seems -Mr. Miyagi

Heater is still fucked up and the pool has been open then closed then open again, all week

Got this email last night

In other words "It's still to cold for the old ladies, but if you think you can handle it, knock yourself out"

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

I suppose it is better than the usual crowd of lifeguards we get. And by usual I mean the teenagers who spend their time flirting with one another instead of guarding the pool.

We don't even have a lifeguard anymore. There's a big sign that says "No Lifeguard On Duty; Swim At Your Own Risk"

The last one we had was some kid who was into what sounded like Ukrainian Heavy Metal; he's gone, but his red boom box is still there

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

cant forget hot tub guy. we have a guy that does either a 50 or 100, then pops out and sits in the whirlpool for a few minutes. then he is back in for another 50 or 100. this went on for a while the one day.

Had the couple come in the other day and go to the smaller pool adjacent to the 25m one I was swimming in. Didn’t think much of it at first, I think they must have swam a little. But then every time I’d be making my return length (I only breathe one side), they were just standing in the end of the pool talking. At some point it got ridiculous, I think I swam 2k while they just stood there. Finally they must have come to the realization they weren’t going to swim anymore and headed to the hot tub, but left their mountain of pool toys at the end of their lane. People are weird.