140triguy wrote:
Whenever I get back to DC, my hometown I try to swim at the new pool at my old high school. Wilson.
I have a memory of a Strange Denizen that's close to 40 years old. In '77-8, my family lived in Mexico City. We belonged to the CDI, which is the Mexican version of a JCC. I took swimming lessons there as a child, and now, all these years later, I'm still swimming. Anyway, the memory still shocks and is still a vibrant and extremely scary one. My dad and I were in the common shower area after swimming, when I said the 5-year-old version of "Holy Shit! That's a gorilla." My dad and I STILL talk about it to this day. He was the SINGLE HAIRIEST PRIMATE we had ever seen or have seen since, and I was an anthropology major in college. He had thick black hair on every single cm^2 of his body: shoulder, neck, back, everywhere but palms and soles. 5 o'clock shadow at 10:30am on a Sunday. He was walking upright, I'll give him that, and I suppose he was human, bc he was helping his son in the shower, but with all the steam, one could be forgiven for thinking he was an ape. Not even lying.
My current strange denizen is a piece of work. She's an Adult Onset Swimmer, about 3.5 years in and 60 years old. But she's the expert now, and claimed credit for my "improved turns" when she watched a video of my races at USMS nationals last year. When she's not telling me how to swim or giving me tips ("you really need to try this titanium bracelet that everyone was wearing at the National Senior Games, because you'll be more balanced"), she's making weird, clumsy, and harassing comments about what I'm wearing or what I should or shouldn't be eating. Cases in point: I wore a race shirt from a 5k road race that my wife's school sponsored. She made the comment that she knew it was my wife's shirt, because it "has booby marks on it." It is a fact that I have several tee-shirts at work in case she comments on what I wear. I've actually changed into slightly larger and less fitted shirts when she comments. Easter season is a perfect time for her to remind me to lay off the Cadbury Creme Eggs. The kicker is that she's a member and I'm the director and coach, so while I should tell her to knock it off, I'm always "trying to keep a customer focus." Also, I'm often too stunned to actually say something coherent, and truthfully, who wouldn't be if they were wearing a shirt and got comments about "booby marks"?
Regarding the titanium bracelet: I mentioned that I think it's complete hogwash, and besides, I have a titanium dental implant. That got me the response of "well, see? It works! You don't have to buy one!" The reason I've some USMS top-ten swims and a few local road race wins over the last several years is NOT because of my titanium implant, but 100% because I worked my ass off in training as a kid, and because I still do so now.
it's the titanium. you know it is. next time she mentions "booby marks" say "check out my matching boner mark"
