1. Today was people who cannot swim teaching others how to swim

2. Girl doing breast stroke while balancing pull buoy with her chest

---

All I Wanted Was A Pepsi, Just One Pepsi

Team Zoot, Team Zoot Mid-Atlantic

Anyone else have radio-man at their pool? Or I guess technically MP3-man. They wear these music water earpiece doodads and basically just swim non stop for an hour. The one I observed didn't even go particularly slow or fast, maybe something like 1:40-1:45 scm but I found it interesting. Good way to catch up on the latest podcast I assume. I also noticed he takes forever to do his open turn, perhaps a more streamlined turn would scew up his earphone positioning.

Now you're making me feel bad, I haven't done that yet... But long swims are so boring I've been considering it.

I'm going back in the pool tomorrow.......someone will post about it, I'm sure.

Actually, yes, I have one of these guys. But he's more of a every-damn-toy-you-can-bring kinda guy. Long fins, full face mask, snorkel (center or traditional, depends on how he feels that day), all the floatation devices,... He comes in looking like a Navy SEAL.

I wear waterproof Nano on my swims. I have no issues with flip turns and headphones falling out. They are usually sucked in pretty good.

---

_________________________________
The curious task of economics is to demonstrate to men how little they really know about what they imagine they can design.

Two today. Guy who swims so badly he looked like he was slapping the water with each stroke. Seen this before but not quite like this. Slap. Take this! Slap. And that! And second. A water buffalo showed up for master's. Admire the effort, but they are about 200 lbs from competitive swimming. Flail in the pool for a year, watch what you eat, and then we'll see you at master's.

I witnessed shower caps for the first time today. The water aerobics class was going on in the diving well when I arrived. 20 old ladies, all wearing those foam belt thingies around their waists, and a bunch of them with legit shower caps.

Now normally I am in the pool during the time that most other serious swimmers are, but I had a shake-out swim to do on Sunday afternoon and found myself amongst quite a few strange ones. Chief among them was a Muslim couple. Now I am not one to judge here, but it seemed rather counter productive for the woman to be swimming attempted-breast-stroke wearing a full hijab head to toe. Her husband was in the pool as well clad in shorts and tee shirt... and glasses. Swimming slow breast stroke (sortof), putting his face in the water and all... but was wearing glasses. GLASSES!

Aw, come on. He's in there, trying.

---

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com

"Big Angry Guy" - I come in, there are 2 people swimming, and I ask the lifeguard if I can open a door. It is 63 degrees outside, but the pool area generally feels like a sauna with condensation fogging running down the windows from the 86 degree water. The lifeguards appreciate it, as they usually need a fan to survive, and people who are swimming generally (but not always) appreciate it. I open a door and sit at the end of a lane. Big Guy with fins and a snorkel in the next lane stops and exhales hard. I smile in a friendly way and ask if the breeze feels nice. This initiates an explosion that I was entirely not expecting. He starts with complaints about getting pneumonia, and keep winding farther up. I sit still and keep smiling, not knowing what else to do, and not really hearing his entire tirade. At one point he accused me of smirking, tells me I'm f***ing selfish, and points and me saying "And yes, I said all of that, out loud, to YOU!", informs me that he will shut the door, and takes off swimming.

I figure whatever. I'm not in the habit of rewarding bad behavior, and he didn't ask me to close the door, he said he would do it, so I get in the pool and start my warmup. At a rest interval I hear him telling the lifeguard I'm a b**ch. Mind you, I never responded to his tirade. They call someone in to close the door. Whatever. I keep swimming. When I come up from a rep, a pool employee is there to apologize and explain why he had to shut the door. I tell him he's good, I understand, I'm fine.

Big Angry Guy swims 3 more laps and leaves.

I'm headed back to the pool today. I'm notoriously bad at recognizing people, and I always open the door. I wonder what will happen.....
Mysteries of the pool.

Did you check his speedo for shrunken berries? Sounds like 'roid rage to me.

Naked guy has been addressed at length on this thread, but I am crowning a new champion.

My swim start this morning was a little disjointed since I was coordinating with my mother-in-law and my wife to get the kid successfully in child care at the local YMCA. As a result, I was making numerous trips from the pool, through the locker room, to the front desk, and back. (Maybe a little "denizenish" myself.)

Anyway, I walk through the first time and naked guy is taking a shower. Fine. 10 minutes later, I walk through again and he's still in the shower. 5 minutes later he's standing at the sink shaving, naked. 5 minutes later, he's back in the shower again.

I swam for about 80 minutes and, thankfully, he wasn't there when I left.

Lol! It may have been a case of pool rage!

The door was open when I got there today, and I got in and out with being cussed at. I call that a good swim. :-)

This past Wednesday night at my community pool - fellow about 70ish with scuba fins and snorkel. Wearing a leopard print thong underneath a pair of tighty-whiteys.

As I came out of the locker room and walked across the pool deck he ended up in front of me on the way to the lanes.

The two 20-something life guards saw him and were laughing, but I wished they would have said something to him about wearing an actual swim suit.

I got called a denizen for the first time in my life last Thursday after work. I've been listening to the Tower26 podcasts with Gerry Rodriguez and listened to the post about 'alignment' in the morning. Warm up had 10 x 50 practicing his alignment drill - snorkel, pull buoy, ankle bands focusing on eliminating any fish tail with my feet and keeping things nice and straight before my main set. Anyway I was probably doing the 50's in about 50 sec in the medium lane and passed a guy a couple of times. At the end of the set I was taking the toys off and he pulls up and tells me of I'm going to swim like a denizen with all the gear on I should swim in the slow lane. I told him thanks for your advice but I'm happy where I am, much to his annoyance. Then continued on with the main set continually overtaking him.

Winner.

---

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com

Recently discovered this thread which has kept me endlessly entertained all morning!

I encountered the Sits Too Damned Close lady the other day. An empty locker room, 8 rows of lockers, 4 long benches between. I'm parked midway on one, getting all organised to head to the pool. A woman walks in and does she park herself anywhere else in the room? Nope, she sits herself down right next to me. It's bad enough I'll probably have to share a lane with her, but ffs can't she exercise a bit of personal space courtesy and use any of the other 3 benches available?! Hmph. Gave her the stink eye.

you were in her spot.

My feathers ruffle if somebody takes 'my' locker and I have to reorient and put my stuff all of 4 feet across the room. That's 'my' bench too, btw. I'm a total denizen when it comes to locker room territory.

disclaimer: it's all displaced annoyance that I'm at the start of a workout and not the end of it.

I have seen this woman twice, so apparently this is her regular routine. She does an incredibly slow breast stroke (>5 min/100) without putting her face in the water. She is so vertical that I thought she was a pool walker when I first saw her.
But at the end of each length, she does a beautiful, smooth flip turn.

I'm it. Flat out one arm freestyle with a snorkel. Sometimes I put on fins and 1 paddle, too. Stop and pant at each end of 25.

---

Two wheels good. Four wheels bad.

We've got "arms barely touch the water backstroke lady." Seriously, she's doing back stoke but barely ever puts her arms/hands in the water to pull. Her pink and ring finger basically just drag the surface sending water spraying everywhere. If it weren't for her wearing fins, she wouldn't make any forward progress.

Do you only have 1 arm? If so that is a legit excuse.

I only have 1 working shoulder at the moment.

---

Two wheels good. Four wheels bad.

Last week I had a guy in the lane next to me swimming not in a proper swim suit, but in what appeared to be plain Hanes briefs. At least they were red and not white.

I might not have noticed this but he was moving at a decent clip and matching my ~1:30/100 pace. Which meant every time I took a breath in his direction I was treated to the sight of his Johnson flapping around underneath him like some sort of bizarre displaced elephant trunk. Oh sure, it stayed "contained" inside the underwear he had on, but cotton just doesn't "hold" things as well as Lycra or Poly might.

Fortunately he got out about 20 minutes into my workout but the damage has been done. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

Wait, were you watching me!?