"Invisible lat syndrome" It's a thing. :)

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Zen and the Art of Triathlon. Strava Workout Log
Interviews with Chris McCormack, Helle Frederikson, Angela Naeth, and many more.
http://www.zentriathlon.com

I have a new one from this morning.

The "why are you even here guy".

There was a guy, fully clothed, sitting on a bench on the pool deck. Mid-60s or so.

This actually isn't that unusual since I swim at a Y with a swim team, and the benches around the pool are regularly taken up by parents while the kids on the swim team are practicing. Except in this case there was no swim team practice. In fact there were only 2 other people in the pool with me, and this guy was clearly not there to watch those other two guys. As far as I can tell, this guy came into the Y, walked through one of the locker rooms to get to the pool deck, and sat down on a bench. Wasn't playing with a phone, or reading a book or anything. Not even really watching the three of us swimming. He was just sitting there kinda staring off into space, generally looking around.

He didn't seem "off" in any way. He really just seemed like any random guy would as if sitting on a park bench. Except this was an indoor pool at a Y.

The pool I usually go to is located near an area where lots of younger people from China have moved to with their entire aging family in tow, and mid afternoon appears to be the time all the old fellas come for a dip. Just to paint a bit of a picture, the body type of these chaps tends to lean towards the small and slender, and at that age, skinny and bony vs. the North American Caucasian overflowing belly pear shape. So anyway, I'd just finished toweling off in the change room after my post-swim shower, and the place is pretty busy. Probably a dozen dudes in various stages of undress, all but me and one other guy an older Asian. There's an array of sinks and mirrors by the exit, and as I grabbed my stuff off the bench to leave and looked up I just happen to lock reflected eyes with one of the old guys checking himself out by doing a Peter Sagan victory Hulk pose, minus of course any clothing. Or muscle.

ISS - Invisible Sagan Syndrome!

A few days ago: doing 10x50 (SCY) fly on the :40. Every other lane has slower recreational swimmers. At the beginning of my set, I see a chubby middle aged guy in trunks with no goggles and holding a kickboard eyeing the lanes from the side. After four reps, I come to the wall and see him standing over my lane. As soon as I left my head up, he immediately asks me if I can share the lane with him. Dude. I'm doing fly which, as you may have noticed, requires some space. I'm swimming fast and creating waves. I'm clearly in the middle of some kind of structured workout, which you have now interrupted. Literally any other lane would work better for you. The sad thing is that, even though my pool commonly has competitive or "serious" swimmers in it, this happens with some regularity. I think some people are just completely oblivious. Maybe he was trying to make some sort of point, I don't know.

I went to the pool today and like usual one of the old regular guys(We swim at the same time every week) was spreading out all of his stuff on the bench and getting ready. I went to the bathroom, came back and he was gone. I assumed he was in the pool already. I get to the pool and nobody is in the pool. I did my whole workout and I was the only person in the pool for an hour(That is strange in itself). The entire time I am trying to figure out where this guy went.

I finish my workout and return to the locker room and his stuff is still spread all over the bench. I spent a few minutes and looked around the locker room wishing this guy didn't pass out or collapse somewhere. Nothing. I swim at a middle school that is closed for the summer so not a lot of places he can be. Gates block everything other than the pool.

Hey now, snorkels are legitimate swim gear. And if you're headed on a vacation to snorkel, it's not a bad idea to get comfortable wearing one gradually in a pool before realizing you're terrified to use it in open water.

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To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

I feel pretty bad to have another Denizen experience involving a minor in a locker room. Like I'm some kind of monster for including them in this thread.

But, primarily to add another data point, strutting around naked in a locker room is apparently not limited to older men and women. This week Abby (or similar cute, ends in "ie" sounding name) was rocking her birthday suit across the Lifetime Fitness locker room (a rather large space), on her way from the toilet area. Her mom was also unclad but clearly in the midst of toweling off and the dialogue goes Abby, do you know what a nudist colony is? And while it was meant to be a teaching moment for her daughter, Abby was very self confident, "already 12", and knew lots of things. Anyway, it was something of a bizarro flash back to the sass that came out of my mouth when I was her age. My poor mother.

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To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Yesterday, I saw a tall, skinny, very light-complexion guy swimming a lane over. He wore a banana hammock. The kind worn by the gross, hairy Mediterranean dudes at the beach.

Today, he jumped in my lane, wearing the same banana hammock, but this time also a rash guard or Lycra long sleeve shirt. It’s an outdoor, 50m pool and there were hundreds of people about. Maybe he was trying to be more modest or protect against the sun, but neither explanation makes sense since he was still wearing the man thong.

I WILL give him 100% credit, though: he joined me in circle swimming in my 50m lane. I was the only one in my lane, yet I was circle-swimming. It’s the proper way to swim in a lane. I refuse to limit a 50m lane to two swimmers, and since I was just doing a long swim with few intervals, I wasn’t going to stop. This guy totally had circle swimming down and understood it perfectly, even near the walls, even though I was literally lapping him every 200m. We never got in each other’s way once.

I have this guy, only I'm a male.
50 year old weirdo, who is NEVER NOT LOOKING AT ME.
Inside the pool, whenever I glance at his lane. He's watching.
Stop at the walls. Wants a conversation. Started not stopping if he's on the wall.
On the deck putting away bouy/fins. He's now floating on his back.

Seriously, fuck creepers and pervs of all kinds.

Once had a middle-aged woman two lanes over ask me, "Can I help you?" because I was looking in her direction repeatedly during my session. I guess with goggles you can't see eyes. Imagine her reaction when I told her I wasn't checking her out and was instead looking over her head at the pace clock behind her.

You should be flattered. I hope that helps!

At my local pool every saturday morning a group of "dads" swims together.

Except they don't swim - they stand and chat about work, wives, kids, sport. Then they swim 4 lengths and then stand around and chat for another 15 minutes, all the time blocking the entire end of the pool making it a 22 metre pool for anyone that actually wants to swim lengths in that lane. (The other lanes are full of old women and breaststrokers who move at the pace of migrating sea sponges)

I have to take Saturdays completely off my training schedule for swimming. Treat the pool like it's effectveily closed because of this lot.

I’m not there, so I can’t really see what’s going on. However, I might consider coming up to the lanes and say “I’m going to share.” If they react negatively, I’d say “I’m not asking.” Of course, I might be talking out of my backside.

Trouble is that i know some of them and chat to them while our kids swim. I just don't like to waste my limited training time standing around in the pool chatting when it's time to actually swim FFS. If they want a chat go to the f****g pub!

That's when my old coach's adage of "if they're on the wall, they are the wall" comes in handy.

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I wrote this, you should read it:
https://www.slowtwitch.com/...n_Swimming_6700.html

Ha.

I was going to say "swim through them" and hopefully they'll get the hint. But since you know them, I guess the polite route is less drama.

Unbelievable to say, I had a gang of senior citizens gang up and bully me out of the LA Fitness pool today in Houston. After working long hours for the last 12 days straight, I took today off and really looked forward to catching up on my swim. After spending about 35 minutes in the pool, I noticed the 30+ peeps gathering - Oh damn one of them weird aqua-aerobic classes is about to start. I had a few laps to go. With their class clearly about 5 minutes away and I only having 2 laps to go, multiple members of the senior citizen gang threw that heavy plastic rope right on top of me mid stroke. I was livid. The rope was looped over me. Combined with the other rope headed my way, I realized I couldn't swim around the ropes and 6 of those bullies surrounding me. Unreal. I lit up the class instructor and the manager - both who were admittedly afraid of confronting them. Ridiculous.

It took all the power within me to not run around the border of the pool and throw in all 30 pairs of those plastic water dumbell floaties. But it sure did make me laugh imagining it.

Our masters swim class was held just before the morning aquafit class, and those old bats weren't shy about getting those lane ropes moved out of their way while our class was winding down (but not yet finished). The lifeguards were afraid of them, too.

I think I may have already posted it somewhere in this thread, but I had a dude do the same thing despite an open lane one over. He was determined to swim in the lane I was i regardless of the probability of getting a concussion. Fine dumbass, I will move over.

I would like to make a submission from last week.

The “hopeless romantics”. Everyone has seen them. The young couple that has, through an entanglement of arms, legs, hands and feet, become one organism slowly floating through the pool. They usually occupy the open pool areas, drawing curious looks from the neighborhood kids, and stubborn disapproval from neighborhood parents.

Last week however, the hopeless romantics took things to the next level, and decided to join me in my lane. The result was the three of us “splitting” the lane in half. They stayed on the shallow end, whispering, hugging, going underwater together, the standard behavior. Every minute and some odd seconds I would come barreling through, dampening the sparks flying in “our” lane. The real awkwardness would occur during my rest breaks when I would have to rigidly stare straight ahead like a guard dog to ignore them. I’m sure we were quite a sight.

no pre-teen you can't goof around in the lap swim lanes when you momma is taking water aerobics... hate to be that guy, but it's was annoying as hell swimming around them.

We call that a Menage a Tri

Winner!!

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To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Sure, your pool has romantic teenagers in it. But have you ever been bothered by a car splitting your lane?


https://jalopnik.com/...hing-into-1837239464

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'It never gets easier, you just get crazier.'