Great stories!

I haven't had too many new strange denizens in the pool lately, but the locker room is another story. As I was packing my gym bag after my swim workout this morning, I see some dude fully bent over with his ass directly under the hand dryer. WTF? Seriously...you gotta airdry your asshole? Still in a bit of shock over that one...

---

___________________________________________________
Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.

I’m 46 years old, and I’ve been involved in Swimming for over 40 years. I haven’t ever walked around the locker room naked, I’ve never shaved (anything) while naked in front of the sinks, I’ve never powdered my bollocks, and I’ve never stood naked with one foot up on a bench. I have no reference for that. Maybe it’s an age thing. Therefore, I ask: is there and age at which this automatically kicks in? I’m worried, because I’m getting up there in age. If it ever does happen, expect me to post.

What I did do in college was a move designed to get me my own shower in the Team locker room. Most of the guys showered with their suits on, which I just don’t understand. There was always a mad rush by team members to the showers, so they could get their own. There were a few of us who took nudie showers. We weren’t in a rush to get to the showers, bc we’d just strip down and walk directly to the showers we wanted. EVERY SINGLE TIME the other guys would try to stand fast, but they’d eventually cave and dessert the shower as we got closer. Eventually, there’s be 4-5 naked dudes, each with his own shower, and 3-4 other guys sharing a shower, suits on. This move never failed to get us the shower we wanted.

I used to also claim my own hotel bed on road trips by running to my room and stripping down and diving directly into bed and rolling around. “Anyone wanna share?” Soon enough, the rest of the team caught on, and I’d have to start stripping earlier. There’d be a line of clothes scattered down the hallway as I stripped on the run. Once, I was even down to my boxers as I unlocked the door.

Strange Denizen of the college Swim Team.

sorry all to derail from swimming, but wish to report a similar incident at my bikram studio

this woman, who was plenty old enough to know better, shaving her nethers in a communal shower after ninety minutes of hot yoga

Hell yes.. I seem to have a massive hand paddle malfunction as I pass :-)

---

RayGovett
Hughson CA
Be Prepared-- Strike Swiftly -- Who Dares Wins- Without warning-"it will be hard. I can do it"

So in the biggest public pool in DC...it shall remain guess worthy. I come into the locker room after a long swim and as I turn the corner into the area where my locker is, I catch an older gentleman, stark naked, in the "Captain Morgan" pose, one foot up on the bench and taking a selfie with his cellphone. I seriously hoped that 1) I was not in the selfie, 2) that this was still photography and not a FaceTime chat and 3) that my startled gasp wasn't too obvious. At least I think the latter was true as the fellow very nonchalantly put the phone in his locker and proceeded to get dressed as if nothing ever happened. Lovely.

Needless to say, as bad as their version of "cleaning" the locker room is - a dude with a hose on full blast laying down about a quarter inch of water on the floor, at around the time everyone is changing and, at least in my case, getting my office shoes nice and soaked, I am glad they hose the place down. It's seriously gross in there and I find myself tossing my flip flops every couple of months just to be on the safe side.

I've asked before, but I haven't got an answer.

At what age do these instincts that are so apparent in older men kick in? The instinct to spend too much time naked in a locker room, to pose with one leg up on the bench while naked, to shave in front of the public sinks naked, to powder the balls publicly, to dry the sack under a dryer? I ask because I will be 47 this November, and other old-man things are kicking in, like the need for readers.

BTW, I graduated from Wilson High. The pool on the site before the current one broke down because of neglect and bad care. Let's hope this place lasts far longer. I love swimming there when I visit my folks in DC.

Bingo - it was Wilson Aquatic Center...the place where you need a shower after you take a shower....as for your question, I dunno. I just turned 50 and I don't think I've adapted any of the nudist habits described in this thread....but even worse in this regard than Wilson is the locker room of the Easton YMCA pool - lotta retirees...not a lot of towel coverage there. No Captain Morgans or selfies or air drying the balls...but a whole lot of saggy old man junk without towels....

These ones - so classic!!!

Here's another for you all: I get into the lap pool while no one else is there, so I take the center lane, and since I'm the only one there, I'm cruising the center of it. I'm doing 200s. Somewhere in the middle of a 200, I'm doing a flip turn and my heel comes down on something that feels like another person. I stand up, and realize I just decked a middle age lady somewhere on her person, as she was trying to get in my lane?!?!?!?! I stare at her and she then asks if she can share my lane, with a look like "aren't you going to share?" WTF. I guess she should have just jumped in my lane on top of me, then, cuz communication with someone already in the lane is apparently overrated!

One the gyms I go to has realized this is a problem and posted a sign in the ladies hot tub saying "shaving not allowed in this area" which I found funny when I first saw it, but after these stories, I guess you really have to make rules when people "don't get it"

I help coach our youth team, and we (frustratingly) never get to use all 6 lanes in our pool. We always have to leave lane 1 available for any Y members that might show up to lap swim. We could have 10 swimmers per lane (using 5 lanes), and we still won't get the extra lane. Ugh.

Since lane 1 is available, we have some denizens that seem to show up pretty regularly. The most notable is a young person in their 20's (I'd guess). This "swimmer" likes to playfully jump into the deep end from the side of the pool maybe 3 or 4 times in a row. Then, they do like 1/2 a length breast stroke/doggy paddle. This set of jumping in then doggy paddling is repeated several times.

There's also grumpy old guy that floats around lane 1 frowning at the happy jumper and scowling at the swim team.

I have been reading through this thread, and found this one interesting, because I know a guy that forgot his and just grabbed a random Sim Jammer that was laying around the College Swimming Pool, and used it. So, he did not even know who it belonged to and still wore it for a workout.

I think that is even more ewwwww.

Imagine how pissy I am trying to actually swim in Lane 1 with those denizens because it's the only time I can make it to the pool. I have dreams the coach will see my struggles and invite me to join the team in the 10-and-under lane.

I had hoped I would live a long life and never see this, but I finally did. And it is as unsettling as I expected it would be:

YMCA locker room. A tall, older man was at the sinks, shaving his face. He was completely naked, so that the entire package of his junk was pressed against the sinks.

COME ON. WHAT THE F#&K IS THAT ALL ABOUT?

My gym just put up permanent signs on the mirrors in front of each sink that say No Shaving Family Jewels in Sink. I’m honestly really put off by the signs. I’d rather they just deal with the individuals on a case by case. Shaving privates in the sink is disgusting but the signs are in poor taste.

You said he was "old". Remember a lot of the geezer population grew up swimming naked in gym class.

That said, I can't believe a little bit of modesty hasn't finally made it's way into that generation but it will be a dying trend. Literally.

I went to my local LA Fitness to swim on Sunday afternoon. The place was pretty dead in general. I finished, went into the showers. There are 10-12 showers (5-6 on each side), only one person in there. Only he was in the 2nd shower and didn't close the curtain. I went to the far end cause... why? He was also not in any rush. I finished showering, dried off, he was still in there. He finally came into the locker as I was leaving. He wasn't old either, maybe like 30ish. I imagine this is the guy that will be shaving his family jewels in the sink in the near future.

Don’t forget “Axe Body Spray Crew”. Solid training if you plan to deal with the diesel on the water in NOLA 70.3

Similarly last week I was showering after swimming. Our locker room has about 10 shower stalls separated by opaque glass from about 4 feet up. You can't discern faces or details, but shapes and actions are clear enough.

The guy in the stall next to me had 5 different bottles of product sitting on the shelf and for the entirety of my shower he was contorting himself to shave his back.

Do people do this because they are too lazy to clean their own shower at home?

Used to see an older asian gentleman, thankfully not shaving his junk at the sink, instead using an elaborate mix of spray-on-hair and some kind of hair filler powder to conceal is very obvious thin hair. It was never quite clear to me if he was on his way in or out of the pool for the day. I was always done swimming when I saw him in the locker room, I shutter to think he put all that crap on then hit the lazy river or pool.

---

--------------------------
The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

At my local Y they recently had to put up signs asking women not to dye their hair in the locker room. And yes, sadly this seems to happen a lot. The walls and shower curtains are stained with dye marks. Who dyes their hair at they gym?!

I don't know, but I work at a closed campus work site with an on-site gym, and it was happening here, too. Seems super odd since you need to leave hair dye on for several minutes (20?) before washing it out.

ETA, At any rate, the posted signs asking that we "please refrain from dying hair" made an amusing addition to the ones already asking that members "use only ONE towel per visit". I wondered who that was in reference to until the day I saw the lady wrapped from head to toe in at least 3 towels as she emerged from the shower. Turns out she was the same individual that looked like a "teenager lives here" in the locker room, with ALL her belongings tossed everywhere. Bag open on bench with contents across the entirety of 2 benches, shoes thrown around on the floor in the walking path...

---

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Today I hit the daily double.

The pool I go to isn't usually very busy. They take 6 lanes and divide it into 3, and a lot of the time you get a lane to yourself. Today, not so much so I was sharing with someone. The other half of our section had 2 people also sharing their lane. Down the outside, and back up the middle.

Sometimes if it's only 3 people then the 3 can share the space without circle swimming as long as everyone is on board. Today someone decided they didn't want to share so they just swam straight up the middle and I ran into her. I'm not looking for oncoming traffic, but at least it was when my arm was extended and we didn't smack heads. I stopped and asked her "What the $#)# ?" clearly pissed off. Her response? "I didn't want to share". She moved to the slower area after the lifeguards told her to stop.

The other was someone who was clearly timing their laps, but they would only swim to the end of the lane marking (which ends a couple of meters from the side of the pool). She would stand up and turn around in the shallow end, or just turn around in the deep end. Between intervals she was near me so I joked that I can't do flip turns either. She said "No, the lane marking is 25m long so if you go from the wall to the wall then it's closer to 29m".

The amazing part was that the lifeguards actually spoke to the 1st denizen, as I find lifeguards never say much and just let things sort themselves out. If I win the lottery, I'm getting a job as a lifeguard so I can kick people out of the fast lane if they're too slow. I won't be employed long, but I'll get my point across at least.

I've seen and reported on some of the denizens of the pool ... never the locker room, until last night. As an intro, at my health club guys walk around and change naked all the time. Actually, guys over 40 predominantly (having been forced to swim naked in high school PE, this is not a big deal to me). Guys under 30 almost always have a towel around themselves. I have never seen guys blow dry their nether regions, go nuts (pun intended) with the talc powder, shave with their balls on the counter, etc. or any of the other things people have reported on this thread. Pretty normal stuff. Comfortably naked, yet just showering and changing.

Last night when a guy walked naked through the sink area carrying a couple of towels, I didn't think anything of it. Then he took the 1 liter bottle of hand cream/moisturizer next to the sinks out of the frame that's mounted to the wall and casually stuck it between the two towels he was carrying to hide it? WTF? Was he going to steal the cream? But then he headed to the showers. Double WTF? Then I figured he wanted to liberally apply moisturizer all over his body and wanted to spare anyone in the locker room the image of that and thus chose a shower stall. He was being considerate! Anyway, that's what I'm telling myself he did because I really don't want to ponder any alternatives.

I am pretty sure I mentioned this guy in this thread before, but I saw him again, literally two years to the day it happened the first time. I was looking at FB Memories earlier in the day and saw I had posted about some guy who got in the pool wearing glasses, not goggles, and attempted to slowly swim breaststroke for 100 yards and got out. It wasn't working well for him as he was trying to get his eyes open after every stroke. Took him about 5 minutes to do that 100 then he left. Well, I saw that guy again at the pool an hour after I saw my old FB post and sure enough same thing. Same slow breaststroke. Glasses on.

Anyway I have a new denizen to add. I call them the "dudebros". These two 20-something meathead guys that must have gotten lost on the way to the weight room were in the lane next to me. They were wearing Underarmor boxer-briefs. Not actual swim trunks or jammers. And spent the entire time they were there doing kick sets with fins on, and occasionally a few laps of "old lady side stroke" still with the fins. They kept standing at the wall for long periods of "rest intervals" (their term) between their "300s". And they kept interchangeably calling each other "dude" and "bro" (hence my naming them the "dudebros"). Their sets were all timed to leave together, so most of the time I saw them they were kicking away side by side and chatting. It was almost, dare I say it, "cute".

No clue what they were training for but they clearly had some plan in mind with what they were doing.

dudebros. lol

My latest one is a very marginal strange denizen as is not THAT strange but slightly odd. It’s a guy maybe mid 20s. Always these crazy pattern orange trunks. He’s always good about rinsing in the poolside shower before getting in which is considerate. But his swimming mostly involves swimming to the bottom of the pool right along the bottom for at last half the length of the pool then leisurely freestyle or backstroke swimming the rest of the way. This doesn’t seem to happen for longer than 15 minutes max. I’m not sure if it’s a cool down or just a relaxation thing but it’s sort of interesting.