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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Dilbert] [ In reply to ]
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I am so glad to read new submissions! Let's keep them coming in 2017!

I don't have a new incident to report, but instead I'll report on something I saw over 10 years ago. I was at the FINA Masters World Championships at Stanford University. For anyone who doesn't know, the Stanford complex is UNREAL: the best in the USA by far. The FINA MWC was held there because of the 2 side-by-side 50m pools and the additional warm-up pool, so the 2600+ American and foreign athletes would have plenty of competition lanes, warm-up facilities, and seating areas.

The Avery Competition Pool, used by the Stanford swimming, diving, and water pool teams, was used as the warm-up pool. This pool is an 8-lane 37m pool with a bulkhead. It was configured to 25m for the meet. The seating areas are amazing: at least 1000 seats on either side of the pool, each side with an overhead sunshade roof structure. During the meet, swimmers sat on one side of the stands in the shade, and switched over to the other stands when the sun moved. I was up in the shady-side stands one morning, hanging out with a few guys in between races when we all saw something that made us all stop talking in mid-sentence.

About 30m away in the stands, a few German women changed out of their suits without a care in the world. I know that there's a tradition of FKK in Germany, but still, I was pretty surprised to see what we all saw. As I said, we all stopped talking and looked over, not because someone pointed it out necessarily, but probably because the guy who first noticed trailed off and was just looking, and everyone else in the group followed his line of sight when he got quiet.

We are all accomplished deck-changers, and we've been doing it for years. You know, wrap the towel around your waist, pull off your suit, finish drying off, then slide on the shorts under the towel, all pretty quickly. These German women did nothing of the sort, and they took their time. They pulled down their suit straps in plain sight and then put on their tee-shirts. Then they finished by pulling the suits the rest of the way off, just standing there, not wrapped in towels, just wearing tees, chatting without a care in the world. When the shorts finally came up, a few minutes into the operation, about the only thing anyone in my group could say was "That's not something you see every day."

Usually, the people we'd see doing this at a beach or someplace aren't necessarily the people anyone would like to see taking their time changing, uncovered, in plain sight. This, this was different, because they were all in great shape.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Dilbert] [ In reply to ]
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Dilbert wrote:
Saw something that made me think of this topic.

I got to the pool 5 minutes before lap swim start. No one in the pool yet. Found a guy showering in the locker room, wearing board shorts. He leaves the locker room, wet and in board shorts. I follow 30 seconds later expecting to find him swimming in the pool. But no, he wasn't in the pool or anywhere on the pool deck. This piqued my interest so I kept looking for him but he never showed up. Dude walked out of the locker room wearing nothing but board shorts, and just disappeared? It was 30F outside so it isn't like he left in wet board shorts.

Then 45 minutes later I finish the swim and go to the locker room. Found a different guy showering and I'm 100% certain he wasn't in the pool. I know everyone at the swim meet. Okay so he's just starting? Then he, still buck naked, puts on a super comfy bathrobe and walks out of the locker room with nothing under the bathrobe. I follow in a minute to go to work.... and this dude is also gone.

What....?

It was Lazlo Holyfeld.

I saw he bathrobe thing at my gym last week also. Who the hell is planning on spending enough time in the locker room that bringing a bathrobe seems like a good idea? Shower, dress, leave. 10 minutes max. And we don't have individual lockers so he had to transport that thing back and forth.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [chriskal] [ In reply to ]
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chriskal wrote:

It was Lazlo Holyfeld.

I saw he bathrobe thing at my gym last week also. Who the hell is planning on spending enough time in the locker room that bringing a bathrobe seems like a good idea? Shower, dress, leave. 10 minutes max. And we don't have individual lockers so he had to transport that thing back and forth.

You would think. I haven't seen this at my current swimming location, but the previous gym I belonged to there was this one guy who would just wander around the locker room, buck-ass naked, for an hour or so every day. Never saw him working out in the gym, or in the pool or anything. He was always just wandering around the locker room naked. I would see him when I got there, I would see him when I was done my workout.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [noofus] [ In reply to ]
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My GF reported to me that someone in the ladies locker room is showering and rubbing their body with coffee grounds.

I don't get that at all...
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [jaretj] [ In reply to ]
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jaretj wrote:
My GF reported to me that someone in the ladies locker room is showering and rubbing their body with coffee grounds.

I don't get that at all...


googled that and it seems to be an attempt to get rid of cellulite (sounds like a temporary thing though)

This thread pleases me to no end since it makes my doing do pushups on the deck or doing pool pushups seem normal.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [TriTamp] [ In reply to ]
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I just saw this thread and didn't read through 91 pages. So, forgive me if anyone has spotted any of these creatures before.

Invisible speedo guy - The heaviest guy at the pool that seems to not want to accept the fact that he isn't the same slender guy he used to be. So, he still tried to wear that size 30 speedo, which is way too small. Needless to say, his skin folds over what little he is wearing making it seem as if he isn't wearing anything.

Injured whale - In college, I used to periodically see one of my professors in the pool trying to swim. I thought he was drowning the first time I saw him. He would only stroke with one arm, take a breath, and then just sit the in the water, head submerged. It would take him several minutes to traverse to length of the pool. I still see injured whales periodically at the new pool I use. Mostly floating, little swimming.

Torpedo - This, I'm sure, has a purpose. It is the guy that starts at one end of the pool and has to (HAS to) swim the length of the pool underwater. He never swims at the surface, but rather only skims the bottom.

The crossfit guy - He swims a length of the pool, jumps out and does 20 pushups, then swims another length. and repeats. After about 100m he thinks he has done a 10k ocean swim and struts off.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Crispy] [ In reply to ]
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I'm personally amused by the people I see in the hottub before I go to masters - then still sitting in the same spot an hour later. Its not like the hottub at my pool is very nice or big, and really there has got to be a better way to spend an hour and a half of your time.....
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [chriskal] [ In reply to ]
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chriskal wrote:
It was Lazlo Holyfeld.

Very nice. Did you want to borrow my pajamas?
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Crispy] [ In reply to ]
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Crispy wrote:
Injured whale - In college, I used to periodically see one of my professors in the pool trying to swim. I thought he was drowning the first time I saw him. He would only stroke with one arm, take a breath, and then just sit the in the water, head submerged. It would take him several minutes to traverse to length of the pool. I still see injured whales periodically at the new pool I use. Mostly floating, little swimming.

The crossfit guy - He swims a length of the pool, jumps out and does 20 pushups, then swims another length. and repeats. After about 100m he thinks he has done a 10k ocean swim and struts off.

We have a few injured whales at my pool but I'm honestly happy they are getting in the pool and trying to do something.

The crossfit guys as my pool are now bringing in weighted rubber balls, dropping them to the bottom of the pool, swim a length, move one or two balls along the bottom of the pool (10 feet deep) then swim another length. They're getting pretty good at moving those balls, not so much on the swimming.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [chriskal] [ In reply to ]
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chriskal wrote:
I saw he bathrobe thing at my gym last week also. Who the hell is planning on spending enough time in the locker room that bringing a bathrobe seems like a good idea?

Not sure if I posted it in this thread or not, but a couple of winters ago I was leaving the Y at about 6am on a crazy-cold day and there was an older guy walking in from the parking lot wearing a thick bathrobe, a pair of those slide sandals with socks, and I assume a speedo or other form of swimwear under the robe, and carrying a towel.

Seemed to me he was planning on spending as little time as possible in the locker room.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Crispy] [ In reply to ]
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Crispy wrote:
I just saw this thread and didn't read through 91 pages. So, forgive me if anyone has spotted any of these creatures before.

Invisible speedo guy - The heaviest guy at the pool that seems to not want to accept the fact that he isn't the same slender guy he used to be. So, he still tried to wear that size 30 speedo, which is way too small. Needless to say, his skin folds over what little he is wearing making it seem as if he isn't wearing anything.

Injured whale - In college, I used to periodically see one of my professors in the pool trying to swim. I thought he was drowning the first time I saw him. He would only stroke with one arm, take a breath, and then just sit the in the water, head submerged. It would take him several minutes to traverse to length of the pool. I still see injured whales periodically at the new pool I use. Mostly floating, little swimming.

Torpedo - This, I'm sure, has a purpose. It is the guy that starts at one end of the pool and has to (HAS to) swim the length of the pool underwater. He never swims at the surface, but rather only skims the bottom.

The crossfit guy - He swims a length of the pool, jumps out and does 20 pushups, then swims another length. and repeats. After about 100m he thinks he has done a 10k ocean swim and struts off.

I've seen most of those. I'm not a crossfit guy but I do them and pool edge pushups as part of a pulling swim set provided by my coach. swim 200m even set use paddles and buoy, odd sets use only buoy. do five pool edge pushups. hop out do 5 pushups on deck. hope back in and repeat. So I'm an occasional strange denizen to the lifeguards I'm sure especially when I'm getting near the end of my set and am struggling to hop out of the pull just to struggle to do 5 pushups.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [WelshinPhilly] [ In reply to ]
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Got the full frontal from an 80+ year old guy in the locker room today. Buck naked, but he had his dark-tinted goggles on.

Someday, I will give no shits like that.

Travis Rassat
Vector Cycle Works
Noblesville, IN
BikeFit Instructor | FMS | F.I.S.T. | IBFI
Toughman Triathlon Series Ambassador
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [jaretj] [ In reply to ]
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'Injured whale' made me think of George Costanza the marine biologist.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [WelshinPhilly] [ In reply to ]
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WelshinPhilly wrote:
chriskal wrote:
I saw he bathrobe thing at my gym last week also. Who the hell is planning on spending enough time in the locker room that bringing a bathrobe seems like a good idea?


Not sure if I posted it in this thread or not, but a couple of winters ago I was leaving the Y at about 6am on a crazy-cold day and there was an older guy walking in from the parking lot wearing a thick bathrobe, a pair of those slide sandals with socks, and I assume a speedo or other form of swimwear under the robe, and carrying a towel.

Seemed to me he was planning on spending as little time as possible in the locker room.

We have the bathrobe people here as well. But they wear them so they can claim a lane as soon as the pool door is unlocked.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Travis R] [ In reply to ]
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The Missing Nipple

During a state swim meet many moons ago, I was showering after a swim when I watched a kid in an absolute panic to shave in the shower before his first swim as he'd forgotten to do so before the meet. He eventually made a mistake, and it just so happened to be a mistake that removed the tip of his left nipple. The sound he made is something that stays with me to this day...the shriek of a thousand vanquished dragons simultaneously discovering they're plummeting from the sky...

Eliot
blog thing - strava thing
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Travis R] [ In reply to ]
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Ever seen a man in his 70s blow-dry his balls in the middle of the locker room? I have.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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definitely check for VW camper vans in the parking lot. That's pretty close to Boogie Nights.

--
Paul Lantinga
Sable WaterOptics from See Worthy
paul@sablewateroptics.com
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [GreenPlease] [ In reply to ]
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GreenPlease wrote:
Ever seen a man in his 70s blow-dry his balls in the middle of the locker room? I have.

Anybody who has ever been in a YMCA locker room has seen that.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [TriTamp] [ In reply to ]
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That is the least offensive thing you will see at the Y.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [GreenPlease] [ In reply to ]
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GreenPlease wrote:
Ever seen a man in his 70s blow-dry his balls in the middle of the locker room? I have.


Ever see a guy put his foot on a bench so he can use the community blow-dryer to blow-dry his asshole? I have.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [RayP] [ In reply to ]
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RayP wrote:
GreenPlease wrote:
Ever seen a man in his 70s blow-dry his balls in the middle of the locker room? I have.



Ever see a guy put his foot on a bench so he can use the community blow-dryer to blow-dry his asshole? I have.

That's basically what I saw but it seemed like he was focused on his balls.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [RayP] [ In reply to ]
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RayP wrote:
GreenPlease wrote:
Ever seen a man in his 70s blow-dry his balls in the middle of the locker room? I have.



Ever see a guy put his foot on a bench so he can use the community blow-dryer to blow-dry his asshole? I have.

That I have not. lol But I've seen one put his foot up on the counter, think of a stepup deep lunge to dry his balls. Maybe he was actually drying his asshole in that case. I don't know. I try to avoid looking. I've also had to ask a naked guy to move who was leisurely drying himself blocking the entrance to the shower area. No matter that there are full shower stalls where there is plenty of room to dry yourself off. Nope. This guy needs out in the open freedom.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Crispy] [ In reply to ]
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Crispy wrote:
I just saw this thread and didn't read through 91 pages. So, forgive me if anyone has spotted any of these creatures before.


The crossfit guy - He swims a length of the pool, jumps out and does 20 pushups, then swims another length. and repeats. After about 100m he thinks he has done a 10k ocean swim and struts off.

I swim in Navy pools and I see this almost every day, but they are not crossfit guys but guys that are trying/think they are SEALS or Recon

I also swim at the Y, I do solemnly swear that I will never dry my balls/ass with a hair dryer

All I Wanted Was A Pepsi, Just One Pepsi

Team Zoot, Team Zoot Mid-Atlantic

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [TriTamp] [ In reply to ]
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TriTamp wrote:
RayP wrote:
GreenPlease wrote:
Ever seen a man in his 70s blow-dry his balls in the middle of the locker room? I have.



Ever see a guy put his foot on a bench so he can use the community blow-dryer to blow-dry his asshole?
I have.


That I have not. lol But I've seen one put his foot up on the counter, think of a stepup deep lunge to dry his balls. Maybe he was actually drying his asshole in that case. I don't know. I try to avoid looking. I've also had to ask a naked guy to move who was leisurely drying himself blocking the entrance to the shower area. No matter that there are full shower stalls where there is plenty of room to dry yourself off. Nope. This guy needs out in the open freedom.

All the bolded are required features at a YMCA I believe. Along with the guys who parade around naked and try to carry on full conversations without a stich of clothing on. I don't think they're allowed to stay open without these guys..

FYI - Never use the lower lockers.

"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [140triguy] [ In reply to ]
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I was hanging out after a swim at the Munchen Olympiapark and saw this many times. As well-travelled as I am and as often as i've been to GDR and seen it, it still catches me off guard...not complaining...just doing my best not to stare, ma'am.

"The person on top of the mountain didn't fall there." - unkown

also rule 5
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