A few months ago I went to swim on a Saturday morning not knowing that a water aerobics class was about to start. The instructor took most of the lane lines down but left one lane for swimmers. Two other swimmers and I shared this lane and swam circles without incident. About 30 women and one man arrived for the aerobics class and hopped in the pool. It was slightly distracting as the instructor had a shrill voice and was screaming at her class. Every stroke afforded a new underwater view of some middle-aged woman's backside and legs. Then the class started to run in a big circle. Thirty mostly overweight women (and one man) running in a circle will create quite a vortex. I almost got sucked under the lane line into them. I struggled to pull myself free and then got tangled up with the rather attractive woman in my lane swimming the other direction as she was sucked into the vortex. She apologized with a giggle (we were tangled briefly in a rather compromising position). It took all my might to swim the last yard as the current was the strongest there. The women in the aerobics class were somewhat amused by the commotion they caused.

Last week the outdoor 50 meter pool which is conveniently located next door to my office opened.

Every day so far a gentleman walks in, gets undressed on the pool deck - has his swimsuit on under
his pants - gets in - swims about 200 meters and gets out. Doesn't dry off - puts pants, shirt, socks,
shoes, back on and walks out.

I'm so happy I found this thread. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is confronted by strange or even disturbing behavior at the pool. I guess I've always been aware that people are doing bizarre fitness routines based on the ridiculous exercise gear advertised on TV. You don't really see them when running or biking. But because we are all lumped together in the pool, you get to witness the wackiness close up. Question: is everyone crazy or are crazy people just attracted to the public pool? PS the swimming pirate is my favorite so far. Even if it's a lie, it's still funny.

Captain Cousteau was there again!

It takes him Forever to get his gear together. Mind you, he's got the works!!

The ancient water polo hat
Mask and tuba
Flippers that are 2 feet long if not more no kidding! Band aid all over his toes, black tape to keep his feet in ... Not exactly sure of what goes on.
He kicks laps after laps his head in the water the whole time.
Sometimes I see him on the bottom of the pool. Just ... not sure what ... looking for treasures or creatures??
Don't get hit by one of his humongous flippers cuz it hurts!!

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http://www.arthelenegirard.com/
Painting training always ...

Does he ever come up with a spiny lobster?

Underwater moths! That explains some of the swim suits I've seen on the "Aqua Biddies" at the pool. Amazing how they don't realize that their suits are worn out, threadbare and even have holes in them, making for a pretty unflattering view when you look over as you swim past them.

This morning after my swim I'm the change room and a woman on crutches comes in. I offer my locker as it's the only large one available. She declines but decides my kind offer means she can confide in me - she's worried about the changeroom floor as she forgot her flip flops and she has (voice drops to stage whisper) a terrible fungal infection.

I was totally stunned. Why come to the gym if you have a communicable infection? Why share the information? I was trying to be nice, did I really deserve that?

My skin has been crawling all morning. So glad I always wear flip flops in the changeroom and showers!

I believe I am now my pool's strange denizen.

After my swim today, I walk over to the bench where I usually stach my towel only to find that it is gone. Yep, someone took it. Granted it was white, but it still looked nothing like the towels provided by the pool (and it was still wet from this morning's swim).

So now I am that guy in the locker room, drying off with the hair dryer and walking up to random people asking to see their towel. I was gracious enough to leave my suit on for this though. This is on top of the weird looks I already get for doing a 1000 yard kick only workout once a day.

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sometimes you just have to eat the cake

I have Michael Phelps at my pool in the morning......it's a lady with the waist floaty wearing the team USA cap with PHELPS written on the back. She's a hoot. I also have an older guy that wears a divers speedo....basically looks like a G-string. Also have an Asain lady that stays in the cold pluge up to her neck all morning! I'll do my swim, then go do my run and when I get to the cold plunge she is still there...sometimes asleep!

The best is fitness girl....now she is impressive. A body that would make most women jealous, but I never seen her face.....she walks from the locker rooms with googles on. Gets in the pool and does a few very fast laps....gets out and does some jumping jacks....with goggles on....back in the pool for more fast laps....out of the pool for push ups - with goggles....more fast laps....then gets out and runs up and down the utility stairs a few times - with googles....more fast labs....out of pool for ab work - with googles.....a few slow laps to cool down....then back to the locker room - with goggles on. I always wonder if she is a butta face or something because her body is perfect but she never removes her goggles. Oh and she does all of that in a "modern bikini" - you know the ones fellas.....the ones that are designed to only just sun bath in. It's amazing that she can even keep it on.

Maybe she has prescription lenses in her goggles. Don't know if that's possible on swimming goggles, but I know it is in a dive mask. As for the bikini - I don't have a clue.

Where is this pool? How much to join? I'll be there tomorrow.

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Zen and the Art of Triathlon. Strava Workout Log
Interviews with Chris McCormack, Helle Frederikson, Angela Naeth, and many more.
http://www.zentriathlon.com

Uh, this is the win-winnest situation on the planet!

1) Beautiful body
2) being shown off in a ridiculously small bikini
3) in action
4) on a regular basis
5) and you don't get the guilt of womanizing her - because she doesn't have a face!

She does cause quite a buzz. Rest Intervals get a little longer, 100's turn into 25's etc. The best are the "peeping toms". The general workout area is above the pool and it's all glass....you can see the smudge marks on the glass! LOL The worst is the old guys talking about her in the locker room....naked...with one leg up on the bench blow drying their junk.....talk about ruin it.

Very much possible that it's a vision issue. Before I switched to wearing my contacts with ordinary goggles, I used to always have to wear my prescription goggles around like that because if I didn't, my -14 myopia self would end up walking into the wrong locker room after practice.

I usually don't have anything odd at my pool. In fact, I'm lucky - I'm usually about the only one there. But yesterday, I joined the strangeness club. Or maybe the disgustingness club.

I was the only one in the pool for the first 20 minutes or so. Then I get this sensation that I'm not alone. I look over, and sure enough, the "Dance of the Water Buffalos" had begun. Two of them, apparently females of the species, sharing a lane, the larger of the pair walking backwards and the comparatively smaller facing her. At first they kept about 3 feet distance between them. They got about halfway across the pool, and stopped.

Mind you, I'm glimpsing this from underwater, only seeing them when I turn to breathe. The dance proceeded to get wierder. They began to circle each other. And then it happened. Their legs entwined. The dance became....intimate. I thought at first that surely they were just horseplaying like teenage kids do in the water. But then I reached the end of the lane, turned, and began to throw up a little in my mouth. The water buffaloes were making out.

It's bad enough when a young couple is making out in the pool. Worse when it's two buffalos. Far worse when its two menopausal female buffalos in heat.

Oh my.

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Twitter @achtervolger

I saw some dude swimming freestyle in glasses. There wasn't even a cord to stop them from falling off.

I swim in a pool that we share with some Special Olympians. The other day a friend of mine dropped in as my guest. As he finished up and started back to the locker room he was accosted by the Special Olympics coach for trying to sneak out of practice. She honestly though that he was on her team. The fact that she saw him swimming makes it even funnier.

I always used to wonder why there was no biathlon in the Special Olympics...

Then I read that the Kennedy's were involved and figured it out.

I always used to wonder why there was no biathlon in the Special Olympics...

Then I read that the Kennedy's were involved and figured it out.

I had this guy in the pool next to me yesterday. Swimming FURIOUSLY. At first I thought he was swimming with hands fisted, the way his arms were moving under water (but he was not)--somehow his arms were racing through the water, but he must have been doing a 2:30 50 or so. The guy gets accolades for his effort!

So after watching him for a few laps, I saw a gym-rat type hit the jacuzzi as I was leaving. What is it about dudes using the jacuzzi (or taking a cool-down swim) in their sweaty gym shorts? Gross.

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De que depende?

today at Masters swim was really crowded; newbies come to try and see if they still have the right stuff left over from high school - oh so many years ago.

In my lane was a woman I'd never seen before and hope to never see again...as she got out I noticed black pubic hair growing down to her knees.

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DFL > DNF > DNS

I just threw up ALOT in my mouth. <shudder>

That's the last day I would swim. So funny!!

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I have failed at many things, but never in my desire to try again.

There is a new strange denizen at my pool; he is "Crappy Form But Fast Guy." Standing on the deck watching this guy, its unreal...he does everything all the experts tell you not to do...his head jerks up and then to his left to breath, his left arm recovers somewhat normally, but the right one swings around inches above the water. And yet...I can't hang with him (although that is no big surprise...I'm not a super fast swimmer myself...IM PR is 1:17).

Spot

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Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.