Without a word to anyone, she swims freestyle down to the end and back (something like a 2 minute 50yd) and then, when she arrives at the start, she shifts one bead on the string of well-worn, wooden counting beads she has at the end of the pool.

She must need the abacus because she swims so slowly she forgets how many laps she has done by the time she gets done with a 50.

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I have failed at many things, but never in my desire to try again.

Thought I share my recent experience with a weird guy that showed up at the pool the other day.

He must have forgotten his swim trunks, since he was wearing really tiny bikini underwear. Even though were black they were also kind of shiny, making you want to go "dude, they make board shorts for a reason"


I also noticed a large red tattoo on the back of his calf with what I guess was either his initials or something related to Instant Messaging, or maybe a gang insignia, sort of like Bloods or Crips.

As I got to the end of my lane, I realized that the poor guy suffered from some kind of skin disorder, there wasn’t a single hair on him, making him look a little bit like hairless Mexican dog. I am embarrassed to admit that my first thought was whether it might be contagious. He even looked a bit unhealthy, very scrawny, kind of anorexic.

Anyway, he started stretching but kept sending strange looks in my direction while muttering something under his breath that sounded very like ”I f…….g hate breast strokers”.


It was obvious that he was reluctant to get in the water, clearly the guy was new to swimming. He finally jumped in my lane and sure enough, the guy couldn’t swim at all. He had to use some kind of flat cork thing to even stay afloat though he was a pretty good kicker, spraying water on a couple of people standing 20 feet away.

He must eventually have build up enough confidence to put the floatie thingy away or maybe he realized that the pool was only 4 feet deep and that he wouldn’t drown, and boy, once he got a little confidence going, he did much better.

He proceeded to swim really fast but it was obvious that he was in pretty bad shape because every time he finished a lap he had to take a really long rest period. While he was catching his breath, he would also stare at the big clock (The club should have that clock fixed, never shows the right time) in a way that made me suspect some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder in addition to the skin thing.

He also must have had some hygiene issue or cleanliness phobia, because every time he got to the end of lap, he made sure to wash off the pool deck by sending a wave of water over the edge by twisting in the water while kicking at the wall.

By then I had been in the pool for over an hour and even though I hadn’t quite finished my quarter mile walk, it was time to leave.

Haven’t seen him since.

OK I had a great one today.

Guy in the far lane... big and hairy dude... doing the walk... wearing what can only be described as a fuzzy felt brown and tan pirate hat... reading a book, possibly the bible, in a leather folio... out loud... in some other language. Back and forth for about 20 minutes at least while I was there.

I was almost scared. Being a big and hairy guy myself I usually try to avoid wearing my pirate hat to the pool, but I did appreciate being able to combine a workout and catch up on your reading at the same time.

That....is awesome. I'm not sure that Bible-readin' pirate-hat Guy will ever be topped.

Spot

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Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.

this thread is OVER

dpm won

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Kat Hunter reports on the San Dimas Stage Race from inside the GC winning team
Aeroweenie.com -Compendium of Aero Data and Knowledge
Freelance sports & outdoors writer Kathryn Hunter

You need to reread this thread from start to finish, there are plenty of strange denizens that top the amateur orthodox priest in the pirate hat.

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Ignorance is bliss until they take your bliss away.

Ditto that.

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

I want a shirt that says "I Don't Swim On Your Treadmill, Don't Walk In My Pool."

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us"

Since this thread is done...
I saw a couple guys in a lane floating face down for longer than I thought I was comfortable (or rational). After literally 2 1/2 minutes they finally came up almost simultaneously gasping fer breath. I recognized one of them as this aussie I had just met at the gym, so I asked him wtf were they doing. Apparently they were trying to improve their ability to sprint during bball games by holding their breath for as long as possible under water, shooting for 3 1/2 minutes, which aligns nicely with another aussie I know and his technique of jumping off a boat onto (!) a shark in the middle of the night to impress the womens.
So of course I had to try to beat their record, I only stayed down for like 70 seconds and had to stop for the boredom. But I couldn't very well be outdone, so I showed them I could swim underwater for two lengths of the 50yd pool. It took about two days for my diaphragm to stop hurting.

Can't top the pirate hat guy, but I have become one of the strange denizens.
So if you see a girl swimming a lovely combination of 50 kick, 25 one arm drill and 25 scull over and over (or sometimes 50 scull), it's me.
Recovering from shoulder surgery, and until today that was all I was cleared to do.
I will now be added in a little breaststroke.
So don't be hatin', k? ;)

All right, I guess I have to call myself out. :(

Finished a lunch workout today, hopped out of the pool and the lady next to me says "Did you know you have a hole in the back of your suit? I didn't mind looking, but I thought you should know".

Yep. Nice 3" tear in the suit, gapping open on the right side.

I have now become "That guy", and nobody wants to be "that guy". Unless you brought breakfast from Whataburger.

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

Sorry, right now I'm that pool walking person. Badly broken leg a few months back and the PT says it's the only way I'm going to be able to run (on land) again. But yes, the entire time I do my water PT workouts I realize that I am THAT person.

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http://smallfoodbiz.com
</blatent self-marketing>

Was she hot?

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<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
Get Fitter!
Proud member of the Smartasscrew, MONSTER CLUB
Get your FIX today?

Kinda, yeah, but I'ze a married man, bro. ;)

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

had the chance of talking to a swimmer I see at the pool every now and then. I was telling him about my races and he tells me if he did triathlons, swimming would be his thing, because it comes easy to him. He then stopped talking and proceeded to do one lap of jogging in the pool, with his hands outstretched like he was the 6 million dollar man (imagine a school boy walking "properly" down the hall with his fingers extended straight and firm). Then he went to the far lane and was swimming hard (harder than usual) and he managed 29 strokes for the length of the pool. Very sad. He was so slow, that I actually passed him when I was doing my cool down pulling drill-easy...

very funny.

There will always be strange denizens at the pool; I'm convinced of it.

Right now we have the "Color Coordinated Swim Team"....three ladies who dress the same from head to toe (I'm talking suit, goggles, and swim cap), and do 25 to 100 yards at a time, followed by 2-5 minutes of talking at the wall. Its ridiculous...they are taking up 1/4 of the pool, and do very little actual swimming.

Spot

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Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.

Here's a new one: our one-year old daughter is in an AquaBabies program at the local Y where the parents are in the pool with the kids as they get used to being in the water (this is a blast, btw). Last weekend there was a mom who showed up in her makeup and with her hair done (had to look good for the pictures that her husband was taking) and would make a face everytime she got splashed by either her own kid or someone else's. Priceless.

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"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler

I was waiting for a lane to open the other day and while sitting there I kept hearing the sound of a car with a bad muffler fading in and out. Could not for the life of me figure out what in the hell was making that noise as I didn't see a car driving back and forth outside. Eventually realized it was the guy kicking half of the water out of the pool with his flip turns. I swear he was sounded like a motor boat when he was breathing underwater. Finally the lane next to him opened up and he was in fact making more noise breathing than any human I had ever met before.

Reminds me of 'The Truman Show'.

OK, I am not harshing on this lady because in truth, I think it is awesome that she swims at all (and who the hell am I to talk--search "critique my brick like swim" and you'll see me in all my ineptitude). However, she is a strange denizen of my local pool.

Lady who appears totally normal physically. When she pulls it is itty bitty--I mean she only pulls her arm 6-8 inches! I counted today--55 strokes for one length of a 20 yard pool after a big push off.

The good news is that she does not appear tired, seems to have fun, and swims at least 4-5 days a week.

I have the same lady, slightly faster, she did 56 strokes in a 25meter pool.

There has been this lady at our local night lap swim recently, that I can not
comprehend. (Devlin is my witness to all of this)

1) The pool is heated. I'd guess high 70's. Year round. Nothing but swimsuit temp.
2) She is evidently leading at least two other people in some sort of workout.
3) She wears:
a) rashguard
b) neoprene swim cap
c) wetsuit pants on one occasion
d) board shorts
4) They sort of swim 25 yards and then do some sort of treading water sort
of kicking kind of thing for a few minutes...while hanging onto the side.
5) Then they go back.

I have NO idea what they are doing.

Then there was the time that I was splitting a lane with someone else I know. There
is a sort of "diver's well" attached to this lane but off to the side that some ladies
are playing in. I'm about half way down a 25 when I realize there is someone ahead
of me. I'm pretty sure that the person I swim with I had already seen going the
other way. Sure enough, one of the ladies from the diver's well had just jumped in,
doing probably 4:00/100. Almost had a head on with my lane cohort and was in
my half of the lane when I came up behind her.

Had to explain circle swimming when we got to the other end.

-Jot

Okay, I haven't read the entire thread to see if this has come up before, but while swimming today I encountered what can only be described as the "Do you know where the kickboard you are using has been?"

There were three morbidly obese old guys, each of them with a kickboard down the front of their baggy shorts about crotch deep, each doing a modified breast stroke across the pool. In the fourth lane, there was an older obese woman with the kickboard shoved into the back of her suit sitting back like she was in a reclining chair kind of sculling herself forward.

It was priceless--should have had a camera but no photo so I guess it didn't happen.

There's a bigger guy at the pool that uses a buoy, paddles and a snorkel, all at the same time. The problem is that at random times he screams through the snorkel, kind of a combination of getting stabbed in the back and making his "O" face. You can probably hear it in the parking lot.