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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Just saw this one yesterday...a guy was taking up a whole lane doing a very slow elementry back stroke both backwards and forewards, but he kept his legs straight. He even had ankleweights on. It was a new one for me.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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I swim with many Cologne/Perfume guys/gals. So very vile.

M

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The beatings will continue until morale improves
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [trimike77] [ In reply to ]
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Ran into (literally?) this one the other day - a girl swimming breaststroke at a medium-slow pace in the 'fast lane' (granted at that time of day there are only 2 public lanes) *almost* directly over the black line, and kicking WIDE and HARD. Every time anyone tried to pass her they'd get kicked, hard, twice or three times. Luckily they opened up another lane so I personally only got walloped twice.

Another good one at my pool, although somewhat less violent, is 'super gear guy' - he ONLY swims with paddles and fins. Gets in the pool, puts on paddles and fins, swims a whole 60+ minute workout, gets out, hits the shower. He does go pretty fast.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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I've got two for you:

1) Visor Lady: Doggie paddles in a lane for like a half hour (must be exhausting!), pissing off people who are waiting to actually SWIM, completely oblivious to the ire she's creating, (or too self-centered to care) sporting a long-billed sun visor. One lady in the locker room asked her about the visor and she stated it was to keep the water from splashing her in the face.

2) The Librarian: There every morning 6:30a sharp walking slooooooooooowly back & forth in the warm water pool while reading a book.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [ADDGirl] [ In reply to ]
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Paddle dude - every day gets in swims one pace for anhour or so with those paddles that also double as bustbin lids/table tennis bats for giants/plastic frying pans... shithouse technique and he's actually a triathlete to!!

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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"Mr. Hopelessly Out of place younger man in the low impact water aerobics class"

Earlier this winter I had a day off and went to the Y for a swim, only to discover the pool was in use for a low impact water aerobics class. I went into the whirlpool to wait out the class. It was a typical class in that most of the people participating were middle age or older and nearly all were women. There was one or two elderly couples but what caught my eye was one dude who looked like he was around 40. He was thin, had a beard and looked like a regular guy except he seemed very uncomfortable in the class as I observed that he went through the class without any expression on his face.. You kind of got the impression he wasn't into it at all except he did everything the class did, like taking the noodle and doing that weird jig they do, the arm outstretch circular wave, etc... Anyway, I figured this guy had to be with either with his significant other or perhaps with an elderly parent except I saw absolutely no eye contact with any other class member during class and at the end he merely got out of the pool and went his own way.


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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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I saw a new one last week at the pool!

Middle aged man with ALL KINDS of Fingernail scratches on his back! I tried not to look, but his back looked like a drag strip with DEEP red gauges!

Perhaps his name is Don Juan?

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [gymrat] [ In reply to ]
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My favorite: The treasure hunter. This guy will stop mid length to dive down and pick something off of the bottom of the pool and then do a modified breast stroke back to the wall to see what he's got?! He doesn't seem to mind if anyone else is in the lane.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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This was after his swim...Old, round guy that leans against the wall in the locker room to brace himself as he uses the hand dryer to dry off everything below the belly. Particularly disturbing when he went to dry his privates.

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"thoughts become things, choose the good ones"
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Oh no, my 10 year daughter joined the Denizen's club today....during her practice today they were working on flip turns....a little too much water up the nose, started a coughing fit....she climbs on deck....and.....pukes....
Of course I'm out running errands (so at least I didn't witness it)....phone call from coach to get me to the pool. Poor thing....so embarrased because they wouldn't let her back in. Head lifeguard was required to fill out an incident report. The bottom of the report had a section "How to avoid incident in the future:" and my daughter told the head lifeguard "remove flip turns from all practice sessions."
too cute...and gross at the same time.

Kat Donatello
2015 Betty Designs Team
RD, The Pumpkinman Triathlon Festival
http://www.pumpkinmantriathlon.com/
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [giddy-up-n-go] [ In reply to ]
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Ok, ok. I've got one. "Butt-Slapping Senior Citizen With Political Agenda"

This guy "works out" in the Chicago 'Burbs. By workout I mean he stands around in the showers in a speedo much longer than he ought to, and then gets changed and leaves. He was standing in the showers when I got in the pool, and he'd still be standing there when I got out of the pool.

One day, I am walking past him in the locker room as I'm coming out of the shower. He slaps me on the butt and says, "Here fella, you ought to read this." It is a printout of a webpage with crazy political rantings. (Kennedy, the free-masons, and something about John McCain. I had it posted on my office bulletin board for a while. It was hilarious.)

Strange dude.

Phil

Dr. Philip Skiba
Scientific Training for Endurance Athletes now available on Amazon!
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [mdraegernyc] [ In reply to ]
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I swim with many Cologne/Perfume guys/gals. So very vile.

At the pool I swim at there is a guy who sits in his car for 20 minutes prior to going in the pool and smokes a cigar. His car looks like something out of a Cheech and Chong movie by the time he is gets out. He then makes his way to the pool where he pretty much does slow 50's of elementary backstroke with long rests at the end. His stench is so powerful that I usually just leave when I see him coming.

Bernie

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2013-2014 Detroit Lions---13-3 until proved otherwise.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [slowbern] [ In reply to ]
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OMG, that's awful! I can't stand the smell of cigars, so the idea of swimming through a cloud of that stench... (shudder) Now, whenever I swim through the cologne/perfume cloud, I'm going to remember this and think of how much worse it could be! :-)

M

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The beatings will continue until morale improves
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [mdraegernyc] [ In reply to ]
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Last week I had a run in with "water hockey guy" at the pool. That's right. It's apparently just like regular hockey except the ice isn't frozen, and you get to wear a speedo and fins. He was just practicing by himself, but I had to stop and ask him what he was doing in the pool with a hockey puck, snorkel, fins, miniature hockey stick, and weird glove on one hand. Then again, he was probably wondering why I had paddles strapped to my hands, and a buoy between my legs...
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [MHT] [ In reply to ]
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"Super Mario" - Obviously short italian dude, alternately swimming 25's and 50's - flat out every time. I mean this guy is PEGGING it; full splash, wake, arms slapping the water like a fat cow's ass, the works. In between flat out sprint 25's he bounces up and down at the end of the pool like super mario after he grabbed the bouncing star in the game.

Maybe did 250-300 yards total with these. Instant classic.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [meaty.meat] [ In reply to ]
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how about "I'm gonna race you for 50 yards guy??"

This guy is a swimmer, but he is just a moron is really just in the pool too see if he is the fastest in there and never swims more than 50 yards at a time. He wants to race you when you are on the backend of a super hard set....so you are 100 yards into your 8th or 9th 200 yard repeat and you flip off the wall deep in oxygen debt and after a few strokes you notice the guy who has been standing around staring at you out of the corner of his eye for the last 30 minutes is matching you stroke for stroke...so you muster up a little more speed and you see him busting it through the flip turn and off the wall to try and keep up....he matches you back to the wall and he is done for.... when you finally finish your interval he is still hunched over with his head on the wall..he doesn't say anything just glances out the corner of his eye, and maybe swims another 25 yards before he gets out.

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [BIGZACH] [ In reply to ]
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2 new ones for me recently

Hot Tub Man:
I show up at the pool at 5:25 am, the entire gym is really open at 5:30 am, so I am a little early. I change and get ready for my swim at 5:30 am and everyday on my way to the pool I see a guy in the community hot tub. This guy is 40 - 50 and sits in the hot tub awkwardly. He faces the wall of the hot tub in such a way that the front part of his body must be pressed up against the hot tub wall. This is weird, because most hot tubs have a bench that wraps around it, so in order to pull this off, the guy must be on his knees to be up against, facing, the wall. I don't even want to think about why he has his front against the jets of the hot tub, pressed up against the hot tub no less. It's nasty.

Time to Complain Man:
I talk to this guy occasionally, he shows up with a buddy every now and then, both are strong swimmers and nice guys. They complain about how they do not have enough time to get a decent workout in, they both get a half hour workout in and would like to get in an hour, like me. When they get out of the pool they both hit the sauna and then will sit and stare in the shower at nothing. They aren't staring at other guys, they just sit staring at the ground contemplating. Remember they are out of the water a half hour before I am and I manage to see them just dazing off for a while. I also manage to beat them out of the locker room everyday. So why do these guys sit and stare in the showers when they could be SWIMMING! They complain about the pool operating hours while they contemplate life in the showers. Stop contemplating and start swimming.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [BIGZACH] [ In reply to ]
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I think "Super Mario" is a sub-species of "Sprinter Guy"

Ok, so I was saving this one, but here goes...

"Nudie Judy" - So I'm in the middle of a 200 set the other day, and whilst I was in the middle of my turn, I glanced GLANCED at the lane next to me. Gal in there is calmly swimming along with her BOOB HANGING OUT OF HER SUIT!!!! Of course I swallowed half the pool I was laughing so hard. Can't you gals feel it when the puppies are breathing freely?!?!?!?! LET THE PUPPIES BRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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We've got a masters team of Chubbers
that swim a couple days a week!

Swim fast but look like fat turtles without
the shell.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [meaty.meat] [ In reply to ]
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How about a guy swimming in a thong??? Not to big of deal to some except, We have a track above the pool which is open in the center so you can see the pool below. We also have many older walkers on the track in the morning and every time thong boy does a flip turn I am waiting for one of the female walkers to have a heart attack. Needless to day I don't look down when I run on the track.

http://www.rdsupplier.com "making race directing easier"
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [southerngal] [ In reply to ]
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"Mr single side breathing whose arm recovery on his non breathing side is both straight and horizontal". You smacked me in the mouth twice this lunchtime, and didn't apologise. I can't call you anything else but cunt. There I've said it.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [tim_sleepless] [ In reply to ]
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My husband does that every time I have to share a lane with him, and he doesn't apologize either....... not sure I will call him names though, he knows where I sleep.

http://www.rdsupplier.com "making race directing easier"
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [southerngal] [ In reply to ]
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I'm lucky to be able to swim at a college pool where, while there are a few of the recognizable denizens like those mentioned here, they aren't too obnoxious, and there are some interesting/amusing ones, too. There's this one woman, looks mid 30s, who swims her own invention of a vigorous, wiggly modified dog paddle with a high cadence bicycle kick; looks very strenuous and tiring, FOR TWO HOURS STRAIGHT. She only pauses a few times to look at the clock, near the end.

Really sweet though and because of that, and the fact that she is petite, and her stroke so compact, I'd rather share a lane with her than anyone else. Oh, ...and she looks really hot squirming down the lane in her string bikini; she's in amazing shape.




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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Axles of Evil] [ In reply to ]
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I just finished with my lunch workout and overheard two guys talking.

A: Hey, do you have an extra speedo?
B: I have a whole bunch. I swam in high school
A: Oh cool, can I borrow one?
B: (without hesitation) Oh sure! Remind me later.

EWWWWWWWW!!!


If my body isn't strong enough... I hope my wallet will be.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [damnilocano] [ In reply to ]
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Ok, I ran into two (Which is a scaringly high percentage considering I've only done 4 swim workouts since starting back)

1. Lick the wall guy - No @#$$, he would do 100, stop and lick the edge. Do 100, stop and lick the edge. I was truly frightened to even think what nutrients he thinks he's gaining that way.

2. Whale blow hole guy - Decent swimmer, but about every 5 minutes he'd do some weird reverse butterfly stroke (On his back), come up for air and blow water out of just about every orifice on his face.

And I thought the guys on my HS swim team were nuts...

John



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