We've got a new guy (older fellow) that has been showing up to our pool lately. University Rec Center pool. This is not a "regulation" pool. It's 25 yards, but no blocks or anything...and def no diving allowed at all due to the shallowness of it. Anyways, this guy...seems like everyday...shows up with a speedo on (nobody wears a speedo at this pool btw), goes down and stands on the deck at the deep end (the opposite end from where everyone starts/stops) and stands there and swings his arms for several minutes. He is basically waiting for someone to swim down his direction. When a swimmer gets down there, he dives in, racing style, and sprints a 50. Then he gets out and leaves.

So, today he is standing down there and I just finished a set. He's waiting for me to start and I refuse to go and have a stare down with him from 25 yards:) Many minutes later, he finally dives in, and I begin my next set. To my surprise, he actually does a 100 and disappears as usual. I'm doing an 800 and suddenly, he dives back in right as I'm about to turn at the deep end. Dang it!! It kinda' spooks me and I'm ready to exchange words with him, but have about 200 more yards in my set.

Just really ticks me off because there are signs literally everywhere saying no diving and the guards aren't saying anything. What's funny/weird is that he got back out and jumped again since I wouldn't play the game with him.

I really love this thread, I do. Though, it reminds me of when I tell my young kids, "Don't worry about what that kid is doing; worry about yourself."
That said, carry on.

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 Wierdest pool guy =me, gone from 5 mins 400 metre swimmer to 45 year old who shuffles along pool deck with imaginary zimmer frame thanks to mosquito virus,did 25 metres breast with dolphin kick and was exausted the other day sat on the steps for 10 minutes till water pressure on my feet was too much,did this in my racing jammers ,shame i hadnt waxed my chest to really look like a tool.

I once worked at a big indoor pool/leisure centre that forbade diving absolutely anywhere, because of a combination of high walls in some parts of the pool (it had a wave machine, great for after-hours OWS practice!) and because it got deeper across the width of the pool, instead of the usual lengthways.
An old German guy - who looked like Donald Pleasance - would come in almost every morning for the 6am lap swim, and creep around the pool to find a spot where he though none of us guards could see him, and then dive in. We would pretend to not notice him creeping around until right before he was about to dive, then whistle or yell at him, interrupting his flow, which sometimes led to some funny half-aborted dives and bellyflops. It was almost like a little kid's behaviour, especially as he would pretend not to speak English when any of us would go over and talk to him about not diving, but we eventually just let it go because it provided some much-needed amusement for us at 6am.

When You Think No One Notices!

At the swimming pool last Thursday night, around 8 p.m., there were about 250 people at the pool: spectators, swimmers and divers. I was amazed at the number of people and activities. I decided not to swim with my Masters group and that swimming laps on my own without stopping would be a better workout, so I jumped in the pool and swam for thirty minutes without stopping. The workout renewed me, but I still felt like an old, middle-aged slug compared to the other athletes/swimmers at the pool that night.


After work on Friday night, I stopped at the grocery store and a stranger came up to me and said, “Pardon me, but were you at the pool last night?”


I was surprised by this question and said, “Yes, it was very crowded there last night.”


The stranger said, “I saw you get in the pool and do your laps. You looked great and I really liked your bathing suit. You’ve inspired me to get back into swim shape.”


I admit this made me feel like a new woman and my low mood after a hard work week immediately changed. Guess I’m not such a slug after all. I felt like an athlete, at least for a few hours.

The local Y has lately become very crowded with swimmers in the early morning. Inow have trouble finding an open lane if I arrive even a few minutes late. The collection of swimmers in the larger, normal-temp "B pool" at that hour makes circle swimming a real PITA and I avoid it. So this morning I was exiled to the warm-water "A pool", where mostly the aged and infirm do their stuff. It's like swimming in a warm bath. I was grumpy by this point, mostly with myself for not getting there earlier. I was the last person in that pool, on the side, and it was full. About 5 laps into my set, this elderly lady entered the pool in my lane and started water-walking down the middle of my lane. I saw her in time, but had to stop, stand up, and move out of the way. She then walked right past me, looked me straight in the eye, and didn't say a damn thing.

I was so mad but realized it would be ridiculous to yell at the old lady. So I had a mini temper tantrum instead, throwing my goggles and leaving the pool and the Y.

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De que depende?

So, it looks like you were the Strange Denizen of the "A" Pool today.

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EPIC.....Unfortunately what has been seen can not be unseen.

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I live in Japan - which I think excuses so many of the damn things I see. The old guys get in the pool and backstroke it down the center of the lane with no regard to anyone else. Lifeguards say nothing. They hang off the ropes. Lifeguards say nothing. There are "continuous" lanes where all the women who are tired from doing a lap hang off the side getting in the way of anyone else. Lifeguards do nothing. There are the annoy young guys who see me (white female) and decide they have to race me. They never, ever win and give up after about 20 seconds. Parents bring their small children into the swim lanes who can't swim and get in the way. There are the bobbers, the divers, the "I'm so old I'm going to have a heartache and die" folks... Lifeguards say nothing. I have had numerous creepy guys go underwater to stare at my body and then make gestures. Nothing done. The lifeguards have an average age of 40 and are so fat and out of shape it isn't funny. I love swimming, used to lifeguard and teach but I find swimming in Japan a nightmare with all the strange characters and bad behavior. I'd have kicked out half of them if I was running the show.

I have been kicked out of pools for my tattoos (they claim I could be a yakuza), have been kicked out for my earrings (they can hurt people). The last straw was when I was kicked out for using swimming paddles. It seems they can hurt someone because they are made from plastic. Cue a huge argument from me with the manager about all the other dangerous things but nope... my swimming paddles are out. Never mind that the masters swim team uses them or goggles are made of plastic... I am sure there is a board somewhere written in Japanese about how people saw a white girl flip out on the manager.

I envy you guys with your early pool hours. Earliest pool I know in my area opens at..... 9:00 am. Latest closes at... 10:00pm. I envy you guys for not wanting to punch someone out every time you go swimming. I just can't do it anymore.

Wow, I love this thread!

I have two denizens to add: the Hecklers and the Nut Job Lady.

The hecklers sometimes hang out in the hot tub (and sometimes they just on the chairs at the side of the pool) and loudly criticize the swimmers. It'd be bad enough if they looked like they've ever swam a lap in their lives, but they're grossly out of shape. The other day I overheard them in the shower discussing the attractiveness of the women in the pool that day.

I met Nut Job Lady my first day at a club I had just joined. I asked if I could share the lane, and she responded with "no f*ing way, you communist. Get out of my pool, you asshole, before you ruin my workout and I have to turn you in." Needless to say, she complained to the manager, who—I'm told—has to deal with her pretty much every day.

I think this guy just moved to Halifax.

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

Last week I finally had the pleasure of swimming with Individual Medley man. He only does IM sets and won't hesitate to butteryfly while sharing a lane. I'm amazed I didn't get hit.

It's also the first time I have ever seen a black person butterfly.

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Was his name Tasha?

Had a guy on my team who would stand next to you, then accuse of peeing in the pool.

When you protested, he would simply say, "oh, must have been me then!"

The trick here, is if you then back away to get away from the pee, it just follows you.

Moral of this story? Don't stress out about pee in the pool.

I'm from the Darkside and used to see this at the Sportsplex when I trained there. Perhaps he's the same guy? Or, if he's Japanese, perhaps one of "mine" have flown the coop?

LOL I was cracking up reading your post - although that does sound frustrating. I am in Tbilisi, Georgia for a few weeks and the pool I found sounds a lot like yours less the sexual harassment. Not because Georgian men are more respectful of women, but because I am a hairy 185-lb dude. Georgians swim the way they drive, which is with no regard whatsoever for lanes, rules, or human life in general.

The other day there were two dudes trying to play balance beam on the lane rope in my lane right in the very center of the pool. They would take turns trying to stand on the rope and kept falling over, but in order for them to even get to the point where they could get their two feet on top of the lane rope they had to do this wierd dry (or is it wet) humping motion against it for about 10 minutes.

There was also a girl in my lane who wore no goggles and just kept doggy paddling back and forth.

The one big plus is it's a 50-meter pool, although there are no clocks on the walls so I have to rely on my Garmin. Also, Georgians are really nice people in general.

Oh you get to wear a watch?? Lucky duck! I left out the battles with the lifeguards over my watch - it is glass and could break! (This from a lifeguard wearing glasses at the time) I have had battles about my plastic water bottle - dangerous (no water fountain so you tell me which is more dangerous, my plastic water bottle or no water for an hour and a half), me wearing two swim suits (not allowed because it is the rules) and moving into the empty "do as you like lane" and doing sprints because I just couldn't control my rage anymore with all of the issues above - seems you aren't allowed to swim in that lane. Ahem. You have to wear a locker key on your wrist - made of... plastic!

There are three swimming lanes. FOUR water walking lanes. Perhaps two water walkers in each lane (and water walking? Really? What is that anyway?) They refuse to change the lanes to accomodate the numbers of swimmers - average age about 87, me being the youngest at a young 35 - about 20 of us in total battling it out. It looks like a retirement home swim time - I learned a long time ago not to even attempt to go on the weekends or after school hours for fear of punching out a kid or their parents.

To make matters worse, the swim team is allowed paddles, water bottles, watches, TWO bathing suits... But since I don't belong to it... nope, not allowed.

The locals can be nice but they lack common sense and never question authority (hence the Fukushima issue that is still ongoing and actually getting worse). The also blindly obey the rules and never question if certain rules are needed - I mean, really, ironman watches being dangerous in a pool? Plastic on the pool deck? Gaaaaaaah! Yet kids in diapers and lifeguards being old, fat and wearing glasses is just fine.

The lane balance thing sounds like something I did while I was on a swim team - when I was 10! That said, I'm impressed they have 50M pools there! ;)
ETA - without the dry (wet?) humping!


I think I need a beer after recalling all of this. I haven't been in a pool since January. Forever knows as the "paddle fight" amongst my friends. Have been looking for a new place to swim but sadly, they are all pretty much all the same. I once asked if I could use a waterproof i-nano (h20 thing) and I swear to god the staff's head exploded! Glad to didn't buy it and then try and use it!

Your posts have made me feel a lot better about sharing the pool with the Aqua Zumba class. I guess I have it pretty good.

I have now joined the old denizens of the masters pool.

After a masters class, the "older" guys get out and get backs of ice and saran wrap them to their "aches" (usually shoulders). There is a whole bench at the end of a session with old dudes and ice.

THe younger guys, myself included, usually walk past them and go shower and go about our day.

Today I didn't walk past them. Coach grabbed me and threw ice on my shoulder saying it was inflamed and then shrink wrapped me and made me sit next to the other old men.

Damn. Getting older is rough.

However, I have not reach the crypt age of digging in deep to my ass when showering. WTF is up with old dudes digging in deep to clean their a$$ in the shower??? It seems to be an epidemic. And then they use the public soap dispenser and wash their face!!! I have started bringing my own soap....

I went to my gym pool yesterday after work. It's a small pool, 3 x25 yd lanes, with a mixed group of walkers/joggers, beginning swimmers, experienced-but-slow swimmers (me), and a few good swimmers, and usually everyone is decent about sharing. There were already 2 people in each of the other lanes, so I asked the lady in the middle if we could split. She said No and turned her back on me, and eventually started doing some type of half-freestyle weird stroke down the middle of the lane, rested, and came back. I thought maybe I hadn't heard her correctly, or she hadn't heard me, or something, so I asked again. She snapped at me to "Just go sit down and wait." She took off for another 25, held onto the wall at the other end and kicked for a while, etc. She was probably in her 60's, but I'm in my 50's and felt like a stupid little kid who didn't know what to do, so I continued to sit at the edge of the pool and waited. Finally she told me that she was going to walk a little to cool down and I could enter the left half of the lane. I didn't even say a word to her because I didn't trust myself, I just got in and swam.

The moral is: don't ask to share the lane. Out of courtesy, inform them that you will be sharing the lane, but don't phrase it as a request. If they want their own exclusive use pool, they can build it and then have the lane all to themselves.

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

Our pool has started to put up a sign on a lane that it is to be shared. So far they only do this during swim lessons when only one lane is available.

Another great addition to this all time great thread. This thread should be automatically bumped once every two weeks.

I love reading these, but our pool is awesome. Everyone is nice, we share all the time, but everyone pretty much has their regular lane "reserved". I regularly share with a scuba diver, and she is great. I got my own lane yesterday because one of our morning swim group is in South Africa for the Ironman later this month. We did have this severely overweight lady who "swam" with us for a while who had REALLY STRONG perfume. It made it almost difficult to breath when she walked onto the deck, and the water smelled like her after she got in. Fortunately, she is no longer around.