I usually just put my wetsuit on behind my car door next to the woods so I have some privacy.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [ericmulk]
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run
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Guernsey is a small holiday Island, closer to France than England. In world war 2 it was occupied by German forces who built defensive concrete bunkers housing machine guns, all around the coast. They are revered monuments now, grim reminders of the folly of war.
But one is grimmer than all the others.
I did the Guernsey marathon. High summer. Midday Sun. Coast road. Tourists everywhere. Happy families, kids, ice-creams.
I ate shellfish the night before, but all was going well until about mile 18. That was when the warning tremors started. I looked in vain for a toilet. My run slowed to a buttock-clenched limp. Then BOOM - a sudden Hiroshima of the large bowel, I could resist no longer. I had to make a split-second choice. There was a bunker just to my left. There was nowhere else to go. I dived through the 3 x 1 foot aperture into the airless, cool, dark concrete chamber- the architectural embodiment of man's inhumanity to man- and let rip.
BOOM. Had the Germans discovered the power of my S-bomb in 1945, World War 2 might have had a different outcome.
Moules mariner like they never served at La Belle Paris, splattered on the walls, the floor, even the concrete ceiling. The relief was incredible. As I wiped my undercarriage with some dried kelp, I stared whistling the Dambusters Theme.
And as my eyes acclimatised to the musky darkness, I became aware that I was not alone in the bunker.
I have never been back to Guernsey.
But one is grimmer than all the others.
I did the Guernsey marathon. High summer. Midday Sun. Coast road. Tourists everywhere. Happy families, kids, ice-creams.
I ate shellfish the night before, but all was going well until about mile 18. That was when the warning tremors started. I looked in vain for a toilet. My run slowed to a buttock-clenched limp. Then BOOM - a sudden Hiroshima of the large bowel, I could resist no longer. I had to make a split-second choice. There was a bunker just to my left. There was nowhere else to go. I dived through the 3 x 1 foot aperture into the airless, cool, dark concrete chamber- the architectural embodiment of man's inhumanity to man- and let rip.
BOOM. Had the Germans discovered the power of my S-bomb in 1945, World War 2 might have had a different outcome.
Moules mariner like they never served at La Belle Paris, splattered on the walls, the floor, even the concrete ceiling. The relief was incredible. As I wiped my undercarriage with some dried kelp, I stared whistling the Dambusters Theme.
And as my eyes acclimatised to the musky darkness, I became aware that I was not alone in the bunker.
I have never been back to Guernsey.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [eatmydirt]
[ In reply to ]
10/10
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [maliki]
[ In reply to ]
I almost fell out of my chair at work and had to fight serious out loud laughter a few times... good read as I was wrapping up my day at the office.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Liaman]
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Liaman wrote:
I've never actually shat myself running, but have had a whole heap of almosts. Especially when running in urban areas where there aren't trails that I can just duck to the side of. I once just straight up knocked on somebody's front door and asked as politely as I could if I could use their toilet.
It was a bit of a lottery, as I had no idea who was going to answer or what their house was going to be like inside.
Luckily I got away with some very funny looks (they let me poop in their house).
I find this far stranger than shitting outside or in one's pants. Am I missing something or do I just hang out with too many trail runners? Isn't squatting behind a bush, like, a thing?
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Virginia Plain]
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Order of preference:
1) shit outside (aka squat behind a bush etc)
2) play the door knocking game
3) shit pants
If you're in some of the built up areas near where I lived when that story took place, there aren't any decent bushes to just go behind. You'd be running a huge risk of being spotted by families or something.
1) shit outside (aka squat behind a bush etc)
2) play the door knocking game
3) shit pants
If you're in some of the built up areas near where I lived when that story took place, there aren't any decent bushes to just go behind. You'd be running a huge risk of being spotted by families or something.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Liaman]
[ In reply to ]
Sometimes You Have To Shit In A Dunkin' Donuts
"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [maliki]
[ In reply to ]
maliki wrote:
I usually just put my wetsuit on behind my car door next to the woods so I have some privacy.But do you now wear a Speedo or jammer or bike shorts under your wettie???
"Anyone can be who they want to be IF they have the HUNGER and the DRIVE."
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry]
[ In reply to ]
This story is not as dramatic as others, but it’s still pretty good…
100th running of the Boston marathon. There are more entrants than usual. We’re all on school buses riding out to the start line at Hopkinton and there is a delay – it’s taking a long time to unload all of the buses. So we’re in this long line of buses, stop and go traffic, in a wooded area, hydrating before the race, and everyone really needs to pee. Finally, one guy gets off the bus and pees in the woods, then a few others; soon all the guys have peed in the woods. And it’s spring with no leaves on the trees so there is no privacy; everyone in the buses can see others peeing in the woods. Then there was one brave woman who got off the bus to pee, then a few others; soon all the women were peeing in the woods.
Quite a sight to see busloads (hundreds) of runners peeing in the woods.
100th running of the Boston marathon. There are more entrants than usual. We’re all on school buses riding out to the start line at Hopkinton and there is a delay – it’s taking a long time to unload all of the buses. So we’re in this long line of buses, stop and go traffic, in a wooded area, hydrating before the race, and everyone really needs to pee. Finally, one guy gets off the bus and pees in the woods, then a few others; soon all the guys have peed in the woods. And it’s spring with no leaves on the trees so there is no privacy; everyone in the buses can see others peeing in the woods. Then there was one brave woman who got off the bus to pee, then a few others; soon all the women were peeing in the woods.
Quite a sight to see busloads (hundreds) of runners peeing in the woods.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [equanimity511]
[ In reply to ]
I was on a competitive mixed team doing the Hood to Coast relay race in 1997. One of my legs was about a 10k in the early morning about 3am or so. Well that kind of messes up my body clock and I really had to go, but I didn't want to stop due to the team race...and besides it was so dark I didn't know where I could stop anyway. Well, it happened and it just came out with about a mile to go.
Fortunately we have time to get to the next runner and I jumped in a porta potty and changed my clothes. Unfortunately the baby wipes didn't do a very good job of hiding the smell...at least to me. I always wondered what the other 6 people in the van thought as I didn't tell them what happened. It wasn't till we got near a gas station that I was able to do a thorough clean up.
Fortunately we have time to get to the next runner and I jumped in a porta potty and changed my clothes. Unfortunately the baby wipes didn't do a very good job of hiding the smell...at least to me. I always wondered what the other 6 people in the van thought as I didn't tell them what happened. It wasn't till we got near a gas station that I was able to do a thorough clean up.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [maliki]
[ In reply to ]
I am printing this and next time I am at a party of close friends, I am going to read this word for word.
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Re: I just shit my pants mid run [AlyraD]
[ In reply to ]
Liquid diet for the day before a key race? Seems to be this guys answer...
http://www.samiinkinen.com/...205/sami-liquid-diet
http://www.samiinkinen.com/...205/sami-liquid-diet
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Liaman]
[ In reply to ]
Liaman wrote:
Order of preference: 1) shit outside (aka squat behind a bush etc)
2) play the door knocking game
3) shit pants
http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [ericmulk]
[ In reply to ]
No, I used to but im already really claustrophobic in the wetsuit as it is and I figured losing control of my bowels into the suit was a one off....So I still go commando.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [afrizzledfry]
[ In reply to ]
Was on a trail run with my good friend who is from the East Coast (we were running in the SF Bay Area).
He pulled off to do an emergency crap. And then used some leaves to wipe.
Apparently he then must have wept some sweat off his face as well.
The leaves were poison oak.
Yep, he had to be hospitalized. Can you imagine?
He pulled off to do an emergency crap. And then used some leaves to wipe.
Apparently he then must have wept some sweat off his face as well.
The leaves were poison oak.
Yep, he had to be hospitalized. Can you imagine?
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [maliki]
[ In reply to ]
maliki wrote:
No, I used to but im already really claustrophobic in the wetsuit as it is and I figured losing control of my bowels into the suit was a one off....So I still go commando.But in a race, would you not wear your kit under the wettie??? Seems like it would apropos to "train as you race"???
"Anyone can be who they want to be IF they have the HUNGER and the DRIVE."
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Midtown Miles]
[ In reply to ]
Midtown Miles wrote:
Liaman wrote:
Order of preference: 1) shit outside (aka squat behind a bush etc)
2) play the door knocking game
3) shit pants
Well, 3) is gonna happen at some point (because things happen suddenly sometimes).
But, 2)???????
I can’t see how this could ever be better than 1) or 3).
Safety?
Do gun nuts and dogs react positively to a strangers request to shit in their house!!
Legality?
Has no-one ever got arrested or harassed by police for asking to shit in a strangers house?
Politeness?
Is asking to take a shit in a strangers house, more polite than doing a ninja shit (that will get blamed on a neighbors dog)?
Embarrassment?
Is it less embarrassing, to ask a stranger to take a shit in their house, than doing a ninja shit and running off?
Convenience?
Not even worth discussing!
I concede that some urban (and suburban) areas don’t offer good cover.
But these seem to be precisely the places, where people are least likely to be sympathetic to a request to shit in their house.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Velocibuddha]
[ In reply to ]
Velocibuddha wrote:
Midtown Miles wrote:
Liaman wrote:
Order of preference: 1) shit outside (aka squat behind a bush etc)
2) play the door knocking game
3) shit pants
I should have known better than to check on this thread during a work meeting.
Well, 3) is gonna happen at some point (because things happen suddenly sometimes).
But, 2)???????
I can’t see how this could ever be better than 1) or 3).
Safety?
Do gun nuts and dogs react positively to a strangers request to shit in their house!!
Legality?
Has no-one ever got arrested or harassed by police for asking to shit in a strangers house?
Politeness?
Is asking to take a shit in a strangers house, more polite than doing a ninja shit (that will get blamed on a neighbors dog)?
Embarrassment?
Is it less embarrassing, to ask a stranger to take a shit in their house, than doing a ninja shit and running off?
Convenience?
Not even worth discussing!
I concede that some urban (and suburban) areas don’t offer good cover.
But these seem to be precisely the places, where people are least likely to be sympathetic to a request to shit in their house.
+1000, it has never even occurred to me to go up to someone's door and ask to use the BR. :)
"Anyone can be who they want to be IF they have the HUNGER and the DRIVE."
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [maliki]
[ In reply to ]
Best thing I've ever read! Thanks. I have tears in my eyes.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [littlefoot]
[ In reply to ]
It takes the edge off shitting yourself. If and when it happens. Blessed.
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [ericmulk]
[ In reply to ]
ericmulk wrote:
Velocibuddha wrote:
Midtown Miles wrote:
Liaman wrote:
Order of preference: 1) shit outside (aka squat behind a bush etc)
2) play the door knocking game
3) shit pants
I should have known better than to check on this thread during a work meeting.
Well, 3) is gonna happen at some point (because things happen suddenly sometimes).
But, 2)???????
I can’t see how this could ever be better than 1) or 3).
Safety?
Do gun nuts and dogs react positively to a strangers request to shit in their house!!
Legality?
Has no-one ever got arrested or harassed by police for asking to shit in a strangers house?
Politeness?
Is asking to take a shit in a strangers house, more polite than doing a ninja shit (that will get blamed on a neighbors dog)?
Embarrassment?
Is it less embarrassing, to ask a stranger to take a shit in their house, than doing a ninja shit and running off?
Convenience?
Not even worth discussing!
I concede that some urban (and suburban) areas don’t offer good cover.
But these seem to be precisely the places, where people are least likely to be sympathetic to a request to shit in their house.
+1000, it has never even occurred to me to go up to someone's door and ask to use the BR. :)
On top of that, I would be likely bursting by that point and the wait (answer the door, introduction, request, decision) would prove fatal.
My race site: https://racesandplaces.wixsite.com/racesandplaces
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [twain]
[ In reply to ]
twain wrote:
Was on a trail run with my good friend who is from the East Coast (we were running in the SF Bay Area). He pulled off to do an emergency crap. And then used some leaves to wipe.
Apparently he then must have wept some sweat off his face as well.
The leaves were poison oak.
Yep, he had to be hospitalized. Can you imagine?
As they told us when I was in Boy Scouts many decades ago: "Leaves of 3, don't wipe with me"
"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10, and I don't know why!"
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Warbird]
[ In reply to ]
Warbird wrote:
twain wrote:
Was on a trail run with my good friend who is from the East Coast (we were running in the SF Bay Area). He pulled off to do an emergency crap. And then used some leaves to wipe.
Apparently he then must have wept some sweat off his face as well.
The leaves were poison oak.
Yep, he had to be hospitalized. Can you imagine?
As they told us when I was in Boy Scouts many decades ago: "Leaves of 3, don't wipe with me"
Unfortunately, he wasn't a Boy Scout!
Re: I just shit my pants mid run [Velocibuddha]
[ In reply to ]
Nobody is going to shoot you or have you arrested for asking to use a bathroom. I can't imagine any circumstance where asking to use a toilet would be worse than shitting yourself and having to run home like that. I'd much rather be impolite, and isn't it far more embarrassing to be seen with shit leaking out of your shorts as you waddle home?
It occurs to me that I'd be more likely to find myself in an "Emergency Exit" situation in Barnes & Noble than on a run/ride
https://en.wikipedia.org/...riko_Aoki_phenomenon
"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
https://en.wikipedia.org/...riko_Aoki_phenomenon
"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin