When running in my neighborhood, there have been times when I didn't think I'd make it back inside the house and instead did my business behind the azaleas.

When running on local trails, there have been occasions when I've had to dash off into the woods and find a large tree to hide behind.

I've learned that it is best not to eat for a few hours before a run.

For races, my morning preparation generally includes a dose of Imodium.

... For "Imod-ivation?"

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

• Ran out of T2 with helmet on
• Nuked myself on the swim/bike in an oly on a bet that I could beat a buddy off the bike. Walked the entire run.
• Wore a top in the swim I'd never worn before, chafe so bad I cried for 2 days
• Goggles had detachable plastic eye thingies. Both popped off 30 seconds before my first 70.3. Swam it with no goggles
• Popped the zipper in my onesie and had to bike run with the top down

^^^ Didn't understand the assignment

Those may have been aimed for the Dirty Secrets thread?

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Or "Cry like a little biatch"? (which is up there with this one as some of my favorite threads)

---

KJ
Swim and Triathlon Coach
AllTerrainEndurance.com
KJ@allterrainendurance.com

Did my weekly tempo run today, in spite of the mid 90s heat.

Bad idea!!

The intestines don't like hard running in the heat.

I am warming down, running alone a major road, headphones on, when........

It's coming fast...

I make a sprint for some bushes and trees.

Yuck- I make a bit of a mess.

"What should I clean up with?
How about those brown leaves there?"

NO!!

THAT'S A RATTLESNAKE!!

He looks pissed.

Doesn't want to be toilet paper apparently.

I had Ulcerative Colitis 2008-13 and basically had zero bowel control, with explosive diarhoea throughout the time.
I run trained and simply jumped into drains or behind trees at least once per run.
On the bike, as I lived in a huge city became mire challenging.
Hardest part was working. I was a Deritave broker dealer and had to pass through 2 electronic numerical key doors and the washroom was 75metres away.
Was unlucky twice 😪

---

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream" - Les Brown
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment" - Jim Rohn

I find the need to turd goes in cycles, some times it feels like the minute I leave for any run I’m getting those cramps.

Worst was at the start of the run for a full distance extreme. Ran down to the beach and stomach went, thought ok, got paper, just find a big enough dune. Hopped behind a suitable sand mountain and got down to business. Heard a whining sound above and realized the people doing the race video had the drone out, right above me. This was bad enough then next thing I hear “do you smell poo”. Stand up from behind the dune to see a large group if ramblers on the path literally metres from me. Surreptitiously moved my race number and pulled my cap over my face.

Crohn's colitis here :)

This thread...it's like herpes!

Simplex number two?

Pissed myself twice on my last ride, abs at the finish, my wife commented on my white stains on the shirts that look like sweat and yellow on my shoes. Told her it was piss, she didn’t find it funny 😂😂

Gotta post this before Poetry Month ends


A man found his pants didn't fit
Since three days passed since he'd shit
Pulled his pants up & chuckled
As his belt he rebuckled
"Sorry 'bout the lawn, but that was it"

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Had a little too much cake last night celebrating D'Kids graduation from Rutgers, and I was glad I took my own advice before leaving the house this morning

All the sugar and butter made for a flippy-floppy tummy when I woke up, and I thought it prudent to make an extra bathroom stop before hitting the road - even though there was no immediate need

Patience prevailed however, and I did what needed to be done at home, instead of behind Domino's ten minutes in to my run

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

https://dumbrunner.com/...kidding-local-runner

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

I am quite un-proud to say that I am now an expert in the use of dog poo bags. Yes...moment of extreme urgency...I was with my dog and prepared for her needs...

BTW it's way better to go IN the bag than try to clean human waste afterward WITH a bag.

The second time was less traumatic, and the third? Well, my advice is just to carry dog bags.

NYC Marathon leader, on record pace, takes a potty break

https://twitter.com/...zFD0r-kRGfpeqLJugw0Q

We need that story here!!!

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

If I was about to shit my pants, I'd probably be running towards a porta potty at record breaking pace too!

At least being in first means you get to use them before they get super nasty.

---

Long Chile was a silly place.

https://dumbrunner.com/...sperate-runner-notes

"William Elvis Sloan, made the observation roughly halfway through his eight-mile run, shortly after slowing to a walk and clutching his stomach. He emerged from the bushes after about 90 seconds, witnesses said, and resumed his run.

"Reached for comment later, Sloan declined to tell Dumb Runner what he did behind the bushes, but stressed that he did not leave dog poop there.

'I’m the kind of guy who tries to be respectful and to follow the rules, and that includes when I’m running,” Sloan said. “I followed that sign’s orders down to a T.'"

As always with Dumb Runner, google name for extra insight and perhaps a winning response on Jeopardy!

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

but stressed that he did not leave dog poop there.
---
Googling the name aside, what a great distraction technique!

Out loud- "I did not leave dog poop there"
Inside head, "It's true because I'm not a dog..."

---

---

---

Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/

What can I do to unprogram my body? No matter if I've already gone twice that day, I will need to go 30min into a run.

While I've only totalled the car once, I've had my fair share of fender benders, and I'm getting tired of it.

Could be some odd variant of Mariko Aoki Phenomenon?

https://en.wikipedia.org/...riko_Aoki_phenomenon
https://www.mcgill.ca/...-poopness-bookstores

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

And I was just thinking it was the crappy food and coffee in some bookstores this whole time…

You must go to those "fancy" Amazon-owned chain bookstores with handy public bathrooms

Try a local indie bookstore, without coffee and snacks, which has a room marked "Employees Only" and you'll know if the struggle is real or not

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

https://dumbrunner.com/...ithout-pooping-first

"... he ran five laps of an 0.8-mile loop before heading home the way he came.

"The park has no public restrooms.

"'What can I say?' Rogers said in a post-run interview from his home. 'I’m a thrill-seeker. I like to live life on the edge.'"

---

"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin