Yesterday I had "morbidly obese guy" sitting naked on the bench, trying to make conversation with me while I'm trying to get changed and get in the pool. My bad was sitting on the bench, where I always put it while I get changed.

He puts all his crap down on top of my bag.

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

So yesterday at the local outdoor rec pool I arrive for my Saturday workout. I'm no fish, but just show up, go about my business and then go play with my kids. Usually no problem finding a lane. Yesterday was like something out of the twilight zone. Every lane is full. From right to left we have:

1. three lanes full of lane walkers. None a day younger than 65. All chatting away over the lane markers.
2. one lane actually being used by swimmers
3. a lane that is taken up by an older lady who is slowly sculling on her back. We've all seen them. Then tend to be on the heavier side, and older, but I give kudos for actually attempting a workout and doing something in the pool that doesn't involve your feet touching the bottom at all times (ie lane walkers). The kicker is..... she was doing all of this at 6 min/ 100 pace while wearing some pretty serious looking swim paddles and the whole outfit was topped off with one of those foam visors that they sell in Walmart for $1.50 with the little chord in the back to hold it on.
4. the last lane held 4 teenage girls who were using it for 'horse' races. A new take on lane walking, they were taking turns piggybacking each other up and down the lane. Fortunately about the time I've stowed my bag and stretched a little they've mosied on down the pool and are chatting 50 feet away.....lane empty. I start my set and 3/4 of the way down the lane see 4 pairs of feet in front of me......they'd hopped back in........ WTH? I (with difficulty) suppressed urge to flipturn off of one of them and explained lane etiquette. They moved. I felt very mature :)

I wish you hadn't mentioned "flip turning off of one of them" because now that idea is in my head :)

Today at the outdoor Y pool.

The oil slick of perfume permeated throughout my swim

The woman who took a good 2 minutes adjusting her goggles then proceed to do breast stroke without ever getting her face in the water.

Have some self respect, some people should not wear certain clothes

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All I Wanted Was A Pepsi, Just One Pepsi

Team Zoot, Team Zoot Mid-Atlantic

Yesterday I was the poor slow triathlete.

I was doing a sprint pyramid (10x25, 5x50, 2x100, 1x200, 2x100, 5x50, 10x25) and was somewhere near the 25 to 50 split when a guy hops in the lane next to me. I figured he was going to be a pretty good swimmer as he had 'that' look. Now, the funny part was I was having a really good day, set a new PB for a couple of sprints, held 1:24/100 pace for the 200, pool was nearly empty, only a couple of strange denizens down near the other end. Then this guy goes dolphin kicking past me at about 0:50/100scy pace while I'm doing a 50 sprint. I watched him a couple times and figured he was doing 100 repeats at about a 1:05/100 pace. During a longer rest interval I asked him about it and he told me he specalizes in the mile, normally trying to hold a 1:00/100...

He told me he's doing a triathlon in about two weeks with his college swim team, and is really worried about the bike. I told him not to worry about it since he'll be starting the run around the time everybody else is getting out of the water.

I had a similar experience throughout the summer. College swimmer home for the summer. I was doing 10 x 100 averaging 1:26-29 (I am no speed demon obviously) and she's in the next lane over passing my while kicking on her back. WTF?! I finally had to ask where she swims because she's definitely talented. That's when she said she swims for Colorado Western State U., then we took off for our respective next sets, me a couple more 100s and her I have no idea, by her 3rd or 4th stroke she was out of my eye sight range. Truly humbling, yet impressive to witness first hand.

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

My alma mater!

It's Western State Colorado University btw (kind of convoluted, I know)--it was Western State College when I went there. I was on the men's swimming team, which no longer exists. WSCU is located in Gunnison, CO, and we always claimed to have the highest collegiate swimming pool in the world at 7,703 ft. For psych-out purposes, we had 7,703 in big red letters taped to the wall in the natatorium.

Sometimes, it's just necessary.

Sometimes your the fish and sometimes your the denizen. I've had the chance to swim with some elite college swimmers and former Olympians. My goal was always to start my 4th lap before they'd finish when we did 200s. If I could do that I felt pretty good but they couldn't bike for shit. Probably just them but I was kind of shocked during some group rides how often we had to wait up for the collegiate all conference swimmer.

Last weekend this dinky little girl, maybe 5-6 plops into the lane next to me and I was almost about to kindly inform her the lanes are for lap swimmers when she starts down the lane. Simply adorable. She was so tiny it made each length look like a mile, but credit to her - she did maybe a half and hour with some kick board and flippers worked in with a variety of strokes I'd define as finding a way to get from point A to point B. Then she skedaddled out of the water and we all wanted to adopt her.

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“Bloom wherever you are planted"

Mediocre adult onset swimmer and mostly I just swim 1-2milea front crawl 2-3 times a week but recently started doing some intervals etc. so after seeing this post I thought that workout looked interesting and maybe help break up the monotony. Frickin frick that was hard. I managed 10x25 around 15-20 seconds each with 15-30 secs recovery, the. 4x50 40-45sec, 2x100 at 1:40 (yards not meters BTW). Took about 90 secs then 200y in about 3:30. Then I quit because I lost the will to live and had a tempo run to do after. I'll give this another go on fresh weekend and see if I can make it through the back half but thanks for sharing that (unintended consequence of your post is me trolling for training ideas).

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“Bloom wherever you are planted"

That's how I feel with my cousin, a current college swimmer who was state champ in a couple events in HS. She jokes that she could've beat me when she was 7(I've graduated-it used to be 6!). I believe her.

I swim at a pool the olympic gold medalist Rachel Komisarz used to swim at. One morning she was in the lane next to be blowing through sets like I'm not moving at all. A non swimming/non athletic friend happened to be there with her baby doing the infant survival swim training. She commented that I wasn't as fast as Komisarz. Yeah, no shit.

New denizen alert!

Sighted at my YMCA pool while me and my son Jack were just messing around. This dude had 4 kickboards in his hands, and was kicking down the pool while pushing down on the kickboards (kind of like a reverse pushup). I watched rather dumbfounded, trying to figure out the link with that particular exercise to swimming, but couldn't quite figure it out. Anyone with a swim coaching background that can explain this drill to me?

There was also a lady who I initially thought was drowning, but that was just her "freestyle." I swear to God, it took her 2 minutes to go 25 yards. She got in, did 60 yards, switched to breast stoke, and then got out of the pool.

Spot

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Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.

I think I stumbled on a new strange denizen but will need the experts to chime in to confirm whether or not this is actually a new species.

I've dubbed him "stall guy"

I was swimming at a random LA Fitness today and I notice this one guy would push off with a really beautiful streamline... looked like a good HS swimmer... but then when he tried to breakout he'd create a tremendous amount of whitewater and literally come to a complete stop. While at a complete stop he'd continue to thrash about for five to ten seconds while literally making zero forward progress at which point he'd stop, stand up, and walk back to where he started (pool is only 3' deep).

It was strangely mesmerizing to watch.

Personal favorite - the bit overweight ex high school swimmer girl who is now in her earlier 20's. Usually there with a friend of the same species. They just judge everyone and think they are offspring of Phelps but take 3+ minute rests after slow 400's then look ashamed when you are faster then them.

They just annoy me.

then on deck - you got the 70 year old baggy speedo guy who looks malnourished who was swimming when you got there (pretty quick) and the entire hour you are there he is still swimming the same speed and has had no rest. Offspring of superman himself.

The strangest Denizens at the pool/gym I go to are the tri noobs. You can spot them a mile away. It's not what they do in the pool, but their actions getting to and from the lap pool. It is a 25-30 yard walk from the dressing room exits to the area between the general pool/lap pool. The noob exits the dressing room and walks at a sloth like pace of less than one step per second towards the lap pool. I can't figure out if they are posing, or are unsure of what to do. They must not have a lock because they always have a huge gym bag with them. My gym has big lockers that will take even the biggest of bags. At least the males change clothes in the locker room. Once they finally make the journey to the lap pool then there is another 15-20 minutes of prep before the actual swim work takes place. The females then have to take off their clothes with suit underneath.Then all of the accessories are laid out. Finally, there is a meditation period then the swim work starts. It finishes, then the whole process takes place in reverse ending with that sloth walk (slower than a turtles) back to the dressing/locker room. So about 15 minutes of swimming with another 45 for prep.

I'm in the general pool with my kids the other day when in comes a guy with the same sloth walk/huge gym bag and soaking workout clothes. He must have been sitting in the sauna because everything was drenched. He finally makes the journey and plops his bag down on the bench between the hot tub/lap pool/general pool area. Then he goes into the Avatar state. Eyes close and the sloth takes over. It takes him about 5-10 minutes to get his shoes off. He leaves his socks and shirt on. Then he walks to the general pool and slowly wades in. Slowly lowers himself down to where only his head is out. Rest for about a minute then up to waist level. Repeats 2 or 3 times then exits back to his bag. He is still in the Avatar state. He gets a towel out of the bag then takes his socks off one at a time and drys his feet. It takes him about another 5-10 minutes to do this. My son who is 13 then asks me if there is something wrong with the person since he is moving so slow.(no joke) The person then puts back on his wet shoes, stuffs the towel and socks into his bag and takes the sloth walk to the exit. Like me, most of the people in the hot tub and general pool have stopped what they are doing and are watching this guy. Very surreal.

I don't recall reading about dry-head breast stroke guy yet.


Nearly every time I made it to the outdoor 25m community center pool this summer, I would see the same man swimming in the lap lanes: white baseball cap, grey mustache, sunglasses, doing breast stroke without getting his head wet. Back and forth, back and forth, nice and slow. He would be swimming when I got there & was still swimming when I left.


I talked to him briefly this week. Nice guy, swims 100 lengths at a time. I was impressed! Easy flip turns for me when he was at the end of the lane.

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king of the road says you move too slow
KING OF THE ROAD SAYS YOU MOVE TOO SLOW

Haha, "Avatar stare". That one got me!

Seriously, though, that's pretty nasty if he was that drenched in sweat. I kept waiting to hear about the rainbow film in the water around him.

WTF - gets in the pool with sweat drenched clothes ? That's disgusting.

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

he's lucky. At my gym the douchebags just use the suit dryer.

I've been this guy....I think we all have at some point

That's pretty disgusting also and unfortunately goes on at the Y I go to.

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

Pointing this out is like telling someone they have food in their teeth. Awkward for a moment, but better for everyone in the long run. I was very appreciative when my buddy pointed this out - shorts didn't show signs of wear until stretched across my ass. How often to we bend over in the mirror before heading out for a ride?

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/kj

http://kjmcawesome.tumblr.com/

Strange and frustrating situation this morning. A masters class was taking up most of the lane space, but I had a lane to myself and the lane next to me only had one swimmer. Two ladies walked in and were waiting to swim. They finally came over and asked to circle swim in my lane. I said I'm all for circling if the pool is crowded, but if there's an open lane next to us then we should all just split. One became very annoyed when I pointed out that she could have her own split lane and started pointing at the sign to circle when there are 3 or more swimmers. I finally just asked the lady next to me if I could join and then watched as the irritated swimmer jumped in a second behind her friend, and with pull buoy and paddles, and started drafting off of her for the entire swim. People...

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https://twitter.com/mungub