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Strange Denizens of the Pool....
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Been swimming at the local YMCA lately in the mornings, and I have noticed certain species of pool users. I'm not dissing any of them...I am sure they all have their reasons for doing what they are doing, and I certainly don't begrudge them using the pool...I just find what they do interesting.

The weirdest one is "Deep End Guy"...he was there this morning...he just sort of hangs out underwater near the bottom of the deep end. He pops up occassionally at random spots like a seal poking his head out of the water. He was there when I arrived at 0630, and still doing this when I left 40 minutes later. I am very curious as to the reason he does this...or maybe he just digs it, who knows?

Then there are the "Walker Ladies"...they like to walk back and forth across the unlaned section of the pool at a snail's pace. What's pretty freaky is that most of them of are fairly large, and when I get the to shallow end, the current they have created pushes me right across my lane.

"50 Yard Guy"...this dude's workout consists completely of 50 yard intervals, followed by what seems 1 minute+ of rest. Now, he looks really good in the water, and kicks my ass when I try to keep up with him on his 50 yard interval, but he must have a helluva base to do so little actual swimming. I've never seen him go longer than 2 lengths, ever.

Also noticed a couple of weeks ago..."Lots of Splash and Flailing, No Forward Progress Guy"...this dude puts out a rooster tail worthy of a hydroplane racer...you can barely see him for the water that is erupting around him...but he is barely moving. He generally goes one length, rests for about 2 minutes, and then is off in an explosion of water.

Finally, there is "Tubby Guy who is fairly slow"....oh wait, shit, that's me!!

Spot

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Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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All of the above listed "swimmers" are required, permanent fixtures of your local YMCA. They are hired, trained, and paid to fulfill their duties. They also act as HR, finding others of the same ilk and molding their craft.
BTW, East side Madison YMCA has cultivated whole crews.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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That's the funniest post I've read in a while!

John
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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CLASSIC! However, Spot, these types are not limited to the YMCA. My health club has the same groups. However, it really amazes me at the club b/c there is a separate lap pool -- which is freezing cold -- and a large therapy pool -- kept nice and warm. The lap pool is great for swimming, but, frigid for just walking around. Does not seem to stop them.

I would like to add one from my club: "goggles guy." He swims one length (not even a full lap), pops up, pulls his goggles off, checks them, puts them back on, and swims another length, then repeat. Older guy, pretty large, seems to hate swimmer-types. The length of his goggle inspection increases based on the number of people waiting for open lanes. He also seems to lose his hearing when anyone approaches his lane to ask him to share.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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I have all of those people at my Y also, you just forgot college swim team girl that does kick drills faster than I can do an all out 50
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Do you swim in Reynoldsburg, Ohio? I use to swim there and those same characters were there. We had a Deep End guy also and he'd stay there for hours doing his routine.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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:)

I love "Deep End Guy".
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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50 yard guy normally times it so he takes off right when you are doing your turn so he can dust you for that 50.

You also forgot the "head never goes under water frog kick breast stroker" or the "300 pounder doing water aerobics" (making tsunami-like waves) or the "old guy with a snorkel." All are fixtures at any public pool.

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Don't forget equipment guy. He/she arrives at the pool deck with a duffle bag of goodies - from two pairs of fins to paddles to three bottles and four extra googles. Somehow, there is also a rake and a 50 pound bag of chicken feed in there, too.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Don't forget the ladies in the aerobics class who complain when they get splashed. Ummm, it is a pool, isn't it? Didn't they know beforehand that it would be full of water? Also lots of 25 yard people. Swim 25 yards, then stop, rest their shoulders on the pool deck, and chat with their buddy in the next lane who is doing the same thing. At my old pool, a lot of foreign students would do this. I always thought they were thinking the pool was some sort of public bath.

-C

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Any run that doesn't include pooping in someone's front yard is a win.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Chris G] [ In reply to ]
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I have all of those people at my Y also, you just forgot college swim team girl that does kick drills faster than I can do an all out 50


My pool has that girl too. Now I am dating her :-)



Portside Athletics Blog
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Well, maybe it's just me - but I always run into "older out of shape looking person who swims faster than me"!
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [DawnT] [ In reply to ]
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He really freaked me out this morning as I neared the end of the pool, and he popped his noggin out of the water in the lane next to me (we were the only ones in the pool), eyed me as I made my turn, and then went back underwater again!

Spot

___________________________________________________
Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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My favorite is the old fat dude that sits in the hot tub stairing at your swim trunks the entire time. He's the guy that has a van with no windows and a sign saying, "free candy inside." I always try to avoid him, but he usually tries to strike up a conversation about useless shit. It gets really annoying when he follows you into the individual shower and starts rubbing soap on your back.

John
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [last tri in 83] [ In reply to ]
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[reply]e "old guy with a snorkel." [/reply]

I think his wife swims at my pool.

That "Deep end guy" sounds kind of creepy, Wonder what he's doing
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Don't forget the old guys who sit in the hallway trying to engage everybody in conversation. It is their entertainment. I have a deep respect for old people, and I enjoy talking to them... but damn it is a time sink. Sometimes we refer to our conversations with them as "running the gauntlet".

The problem is they are so old that they have a nasty habit of disappearing (due to death or disability). Before they disappear you get to learn about their worsening medical conditions. It is a little sad.


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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [Chris G] [ In reply to ]
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"Ultra Fast Kicker Girl" can be found at the pool on Wright-Patt. I no longer swim there....

Spot

___________________________________________________
Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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What about the overly-perfumed water-bike crew? You get down to their end of the pool and it smells like a gaggle of cheap French whores. The oil slick from their potions and lotions looks like ol' Joey Hazelwood grounded the Exxon Valdez again.

My guess is that deep end guy is a meat-peaker.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [JSA] [ In reply to ]
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"Goggles Guy" reminds me of "Old Weird Stroke Guy"...this is (usually) an older gentleman who is doing some sort of inverted back stroke in the water...laying on his back and doing some sorta frog kick and rowing with his arms. He manages to take up an entire lane with this stroke, and nobody ever asks to share his lane 'cause you'd probably get a concussion from one of his froggie kicks. We have one of these at the Wright-Patt pool.

Spot

___________________________________________________
Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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Then there is the tall skinny old guy, thats me, in my speedo. My kids cant stand it when I put the speedo on. :o)

Dave

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Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [h2ofun] [ In reply to ]
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Tall skinny guys look good in jammers.

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I'll be what I am
A solitary man
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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We also have "Singing Guy ". He's a Korean war vet ( I think) and sings 30's and 40's era oldies NON STOP in the locker room before and after his swim.
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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I work as a lifeguard, and when I open the pool in the morning, I have alot of time pointing all the types out.

We have the "first in the water" guy. Every morning he is the first guy in the pool, swimming the first lane under water every time.

There is also the "oldschool russian". I'm sure he rocked the russian longdistance swimming late 80's. He owns the largest paddles I ever seen, and I think he swims the same program every day. And I think it's 10x400 meters, he seems to go the same.

We also have this elder lady around 70 years who takes the jump from the 3 meter divingboard, first time I saw that I thought she was making fun with me:D

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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [spot] [ In reply to ]
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You left out "Inappropriate / Unfortunately Colored Suit Guy"; the one whose swimsuit most closely resembles his skin tone, making him appear to be swimming naked.

There are also the "Tadpoles"; swimmers in black caps, goggles and suits who can only swim breaststroke, looking like giant frogs.

As for the whole "Body Is A Temple" thing? Well, many ancient deities often enjoyed offerings of Sweets and Intoxicants
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Re: Strange Denizens of the Pool.... [randymar] [ In reply to ]
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There are also frequent sightings of "Horrific Hand Cross-Over Person"...sometimes men, but usually (in these parts) ladies. I've seen folks whose hand hits the water on the other side of their craniums!! They have to be at least 5-6 inches away from their "centerline"...and they are usually moving like they are swimming in molasses.

Spot

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Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.
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