AndyPants wrote:
My post in the other thread (so you don't have to try and find it):
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I, as a womens who has been in this sport for 12+ yrs and who ended a marriage (his reason: Ironman; my reason: we grew apart and you didn't like who I became, fair nuff) pretty much here on ST, I am really torn by all the posts, especially the last one from the OP re: kids. I was going to ignore the whole thread but now I can't.
Triathlon is by its very nature a solo sport. We may train with others, but come race day, on the field of battle, it is every person for themselves. And while we are a welcoming bunch, we are also a very driven and competitive bunch, even if we only compete with ourselves. But when we are an A-type and our spouse is not, as soon as we discover this sport FULL of A-types like us, and we devote all our attention and efforts to this new thing, why are we surprised when they don't like it? or act supportive? It changes the entire dynamic of the relationship. Of course they aren't going to be supportive. Why on earth would you think they would be? Asking them to try and be supportive isn't going to work unless they are similarly minded, likewise constructed, and understand their partner for who they really are , well it just ain't gonna work.
Sometimes we enter relationships when we have a firm grasp of who we are, what makes us tick, what we love and what we hate. Many times we don't - we are naive, we think a chid or 3 will make it all work out, we hope that counselling or restricting activities we find truly satisfying will help carry the relationship.
It never does.
I honestly have come to believe that we end relationships often because we realize that we have been less than truthful about WHO WE REALLY ARE, instead being WHO WE THINK WE SHOULD BE. And triathlon, as such an individual sport, we find a space to find out WHO WE REALLY ARE. And if WHO WE REALLY ARE != WHO WE THINK WE SHOULD BE then whomever is our partner is bound to suffer. IN Japanese, we call it
hansei, it is a time and space for reflection. This solo sport we all love affords us the time and space for such reflection. It also affords us the individual challenges against which we pit ourselves. Against which we test ourselves. Against which we find out just how strong, how powerful, how determined we are.
And this is how we find out WHO WE REALLY ARE.
Here endeth the lesson.
AP
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I stand by this.
AP
Huh? WTF did you just say? Sorry - I tried several times to read the, uh, lesson but it hurts so bad.