I don't know...I'm (male) the cook in the family (with family being my wife and myself). I only worked half days at work and spent the remainder of the days cooking and cleaning to have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at our house. Granted I made everything from scratch so I could have saved a lot of time but I like to cook very health and with love (of shite there goes my man card...again). I never realized until this Christmas the lengths that my mother went through. She had to deal with four boys and do everything that I did. I can't imagine preparing what I did for Christmas and having to take care for four kids at the same time.

So many props to the parents (moms) out there that make time to make their spouse feel special, take care of their children and prepare a wonderful Christmas.

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"your horse is too high" - tigerchik

Pay no attention to the little man behind the "Yahey" curtain.

People got bored with him in the LR, so he comes here to try to pick fights now.

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Slowguy

(insert pithy phrase here...)

With four boys in my family and four sets of in-laws the holidays can be a mess or I should say "they have been a mess." We have finally gotten to the point where we have children in the households again (unfortunately Susie (wife) and I have not been fortunate enough to have our own), and it was really important to us to make Christmas special for them. Kids are a special thing to us - to continue with your rant, I wish their parents would take it as serious as we do. None the less, we did everything we could to provide amazing memories for them and we hope they pass such memories on to their children (or in our case nieces and nephews).

To go on and to balance what I am reading people say; for a lot of people it has become lazy, others it has become greedy or economical, and then there is some that still remember Christmas through the memories of events and spending time with loved ones. Susie and I spoil our nieces and nephews but feel that the best Christmas present we give them is the environment and memories from a warm and loving family.

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"your horse is too high" - tigerchik

Going to be equal opportunity and post a few women rants. Maybe one of you can explain.

Here's my first rant. When I go to the store and buy an item for a gift, the salesperson wraps the item in tissue and puts it in a glossy paper bag with handles. All is good. A woman will then take the item out of the glossy paper bag and tissue and go buy another bag and tissue paper for like $8.00 and then wrap the item up again and discard the original bag and tissue. When a woman receives a gift in one of these bags with tissue, the bags are saved away in a cabinet to be "reused", but they never are because the bags in the cabinet are "not right for the occasion" and another bag must be purchased.

Second rant. Why in the world do you insist on washing the dishes by hand before putting them in the dishwasher??? Any decent dishwasher made in the last 20 years can clean 3 week old dried up elephant snot off any dish known to man. Look at the front of the device, it says "Dishwasher" right on it. That is a CLUE!!!

NOTE: Both of these rants are of the women creating extra and unnecessary work for themselves variety.

This guy at work complains about how his wife will go around and clean up the house the day before the housekeeper comes by.

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http://trainingoferic.blogspot.com/

The first one I have not been privy too. I am a BIG believer in gift bags though. Why the hell should I wrap something when I can just drop it in a bag - and frankly, you're lucky if it even comes in a gift bag :)

The second, I actually give my dad a hard time about this one. He's all about the pre-wash wash. Drives me CRAZY! Though, to be fair, since they replaced the dishwasher last year he only does it with the baked on/crusty dishes now.

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I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

*snort* My idea of gift wrap is to hand off the gift in the same bag I left the store with it in. Often, that means a plastic grocery-style sac. Sometimes the gift was bought with other things so the sac isn't available. Then I usually just ask the recipient to close their eyes so I can hand it over as it is. The only exception is if I ordered the gift online. Then I might add the giftwrapping (or maybe not) and mail it directly.

As for washing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher... well I leave that habit to my father and stepfather.

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There is no justice, there is only me. -- Death

In keeping with todays' theme of sending music clips to all and sundry on Facebook I offer the women of Slowtwitch this little gem.Wise words indeed courtesy of one Mr Higgins from a time long past.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6iktQ2y1Rs&feature=related

.

I like your style.

I usually just whip it out from behind my back, but I think I will add the request to close eyes in the future.

Full quote is "close your eyes and hold out your hands..."


I can always tell if a person trusts me by whether they're willing to do that. New friends tend to be very apprehensive:-D

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There is no justice, there is only me. -- Death

I thought that sentence was going to be a lot funnier when I started reading it ;)

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I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

Why does this video have Portuguese subtitles???

And you really want to stay single forever, don't you. ;-)

clm

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

I was thinking the exact same thing. Nick, you and I need to have a chat at UM. I think you need some pointers.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

Don't worry JenHS,I have completely given up on all that girlfriend searching stuff and will spend this year training for Ultraman.After Hawaii I have a new adventure planned and unless I find a girl wanting to ride and run huge distances in harsh conditions for about six months then it's single-town for me in 2010 as well.



.

Now that's a personal ad!

"Single guy seeking girl wanting to ride and run huge distances in harsh conditions for about six months."

That's the kind of ad I'd respond to. But, then again, I'm not normal.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

didnt feel like COOKING

I've seen this phenomenon before. He can do it, he just wants YOU to do it. It's learned at an early age. My GF's 10 year old son does this. We were having dinner one night and the little feller tells (more like an order) his mom to get him a glass of milk. She tells him that he knows where it is and to get it himself. He sits there for about a minute, still eating. She asks him "don't you want some milk?" He says "Not if I have to get up and get it." LOL

For once, I'm going to stick up for what Yahey has said. He said it in a bit of an obnoxious way to get a rise out of the women here, but I think most of us would agree that there's nothing wrong with a family where the wife does all of the traditional women's work as long as that's what the husband *and* the wife want. It's about finding balance in your house, not about dividing chores until they are 50% each. I have a degree in computer science and am a self-employed software consultant. I'm also the sports nut in my family and have always been a big believer in strong women. But, I also do almost all of the household and child rearing duties because that's the way we want it to be.

I'm going to be a traitor here and say that I have no rants about men. I have been able to relieve much stress in my life by doing things the way my husband does. I now take care of me and my family first and not worry about everyone else. I take a good hard look at things that I used to think were essential and decide if it's really the right thing for me and my family. If not, then I say screw it.

The problem is that Yahey did not say that every couple should work out the arrangement that works for them (that I agree with). He made a normative statement that certain duties should always be women's work and that other duties should always be men's work (I guess because that's what God intended), and then indicated that there is some kind of nefarious plot among "feminists" to make men do "women's work" and thereby take away their masculinity. This is just silly as a normative statement. I agree that every couple needs to work out their own arrangement, but Yahey thinks that there is one only acceptable type of arrangement for everybody.

Now the nice thing is that for the most part, what Yahey thinks has no impact on me. In a sense it might be helpful because when most contemporary women run into a yutz like that, they appreciate those of us that don't have our heads up our 1950's asses.

I love to cook and I always do laundry. I clean the bathroom, my wife cleans the floors. And when things are a big deal to her (decorating for Christmas), she takes care of about 80% of it; if she asks for help ont he remaining 20%, I help because its important to her. And vice versa, we handle my priorities the same way (she often goes to pick me up after a long ride).

I just don't understand these kinds of battles.

The problem is that Yahey did not say that every couple should work out the arrangement that works for them (that I agree with). He made a normative statement that certain duties should always be women's work and that other duties should always be men's work (I guess because that's what God intended), and then indicated that there is some kind of nefarious plot among "feminists" to make men do "women's work" and thereby take away their masculinity. This is just silly as a normative statement. I agree that every couple needs to work out their own arrangement, but Yahey thinks that there is one only acceptable type of arrangement for everybody.

Exactly. And, if you noticed what I said, I was completely restrained and didn't attack, I just stated that I hoped he was kidding and that I wondered how many other women would give him the benefit of the doubt.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

Exactly. And, if you noticed what I said, I was completely restrained and didn't attack, I just stated that I hoped he was kidding and that I wondered how many other women would give him the benefit of the doubt.

You keep going back to how you were restrained in replying to my post. Why wouldn't you be? I didn't state anything that was offensive or attack anyone. And why would anyone have to give me the benefit of the doubt? I meant what I said.

A lot of women really believe that men don't think like me, but don't kid yourself, very few guys don't - in reality. Yes, men help and work around the house, raise kids, and do lot's of other chores, but don't believe for a second that thousands of years of traditional roles have evaporated. It is bred in us men. Just as women want to have careers etc. and suddenly one day wake up and want to have a family and kids, etc. These are very powerful roles that genetically we have in our systems. And as a previous poster stated, of course people are free to choose what makes them happy, but just keep in mind that once a couple is married and have kids then many many want to have those traditional roles - even if when they were young they did not see those roles as appealing.

Well I send my thanks to the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster that I was raised to not beleive in those idiotic "traditional" roles. I am the ONLY cook in my household. My wife has cooked for me exactly three times in 11 years of marriage and I would like it to stay that way. Tradition be damned, I am simply a WAY better cook.

As for all the varied rants about mens and womens ... does nobody communicate? I swear if my wife or I have an issue, we say to the other: "Stop f..king doing that before I kick you in the face". It is somewhat facetious, but with a couple of black belts in the household, you never know ...

On a serious note, I have noticed over the last several months that a number of household chores which I have never even been aware existed (maybe on a subconscious level) have come into focus. My wife has been more or less bed/couchridden for eight months. Every house plant died. There are fur balls the size of tumbleweeds blowing across the hardwood(three dogs, 2 cats). All 18 hummingbird feeders froze. The cat box ... well I moved it outside hehe.

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Proud member of the MSF (Maple Syrup Mafia)

Gender roles are just suggestions but whatever works for the unique couple is what works best.

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http://trainingoferic.blogspot.com/

So you're saying the desire to repair or maintain cars is a genetic thing that guys have evolved over thousands (or even millions) of years?

I hear you on this. I love my wife, but with the exception of a few things, I am a much better cook. I cook for my own benefit (and she likes it too).

I also hear you about the hidden chores that I didn't even know about. My wife is laid up as we are expecting twins and a lot of things have gone undone. However, earlier in December when I was swamped at work she got a view of life without me (we ate a lot of take-out that week).

I'm glad your genes don't work in my relationship. And I'm glad that, because I think the way I do, I'm able to ignore or alleviate the douchebags from my life.

Oh, but I should shut my mouth, give up my salary, grab a discloth and get my ass in the kitchen...and take my shoes off and get pregnant.

Yes, it is our genetic role to bear children, it's in the historical evolutionary roles for men to be the hunters and protectors...but somehow, somewhere something got screwy and we womenfolk learned to take care of shit ourselves because somewhere along the line there was an obvious need. I'm thinking - even though you might not be the first - you certainly might serve as evidence for that need.....but excuse me...I should go cook and "know my role"....

And if you dare to suggest that the man I choose to have a relationship with is somehow wrong or evolutionarily wrong - because in my relationship my role happens to bring in more money AND I still get to clean (because I don't trust him to do a good enough job - like I believe I previously suggested of a certain aforementioned piece of evidence) - I'll let him settle the score about who wears pants and who pays bills and what difference that makes.

And I still think Sluglas' wife rocks.

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AW