Post on slowtwitch & direct her to the thread: 'Pick your favorite excuse & we'll go with that darling"

To be fair i did bring it up a few weeks ago telling her i was going to buy a new bike this year at some stage. I figured that she didn't say "No you're fucking not!" with enough conviction so i took that as tacit approval. So it's her fault - she wasn't clear.

I had planned to buy another black bike figuring she'd never notice the difference but alas it was sold out so Day-Glo Cannondale green it is. I'd even thought about it last night to get the delivery postponed until Friday when i'd be "working" from home so could intercept it, but then I went swimming and forgot to call them. I figured the extra day of having the bike would more than compensate for the hassle...

I'll let you know how it goes... Anyone got a sofa?

Not always

This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

For success, this is what you should have done: or my "how to get your spouse to let you buy bike shit 101"

1. Mention you're looking at a bike. She'll probably say you don't need one.
2. After a week, show her a few bikes, just pics. No prices.
3. Another week, shower her a few more. Point out what you don't want but cost more, but then say that this other cheaper one seems just "ok".
4. Week off.
5. Show a pic of something that looks worse than what you already own on CL

You'll get a "just get the damn thing and stop bugging me, just don't max the checking account out".

Profit. Repeat later for wheels or other kit.

Sounds like an "extra sex for bike" sort of proposition

Maybe lead with that?

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Hello RCCo and All,

Ask yourself .... how would Trump handle this situation?

He seems to manage to skate through some dangerous domestic thin ice ..... sometimes .....

A Twitter message to Trump should reward you with quality advice on managing domestic tranquility ..... or NOT

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Cheers, Neal

+1 mph Faster

It's always great when a typo leads to an even better post! Good one.

You just made my day. I laughed so hard and equally at all responses. No good advice to offer you, but been in similar situation, actually worse. It all works out somehow. Number of years married helps. After 24 years she is used to just about anything from me.
I did send once a group email to all our friends about a party we were putting together, she was included. My phone address book, I saved my wife as a contact nick name "My Skinny Bitch". Yep, when email got out, she was addressed as such in the address/name bar. Everybpdy saw it. I started getting emails from friends, oh boy, you get away with a lot.....:) Ooopsies! I did recover! Still married.
You will be fine. Lots of honey ass kissing, you will be mowing the shit out of your yard, home projects through your eyeballz, you will recover. I believe in you. :)

I have a great marriage (mostly b/c of a great wife). Part of that is I ask for permission, not forgiveness. I always pre-grease the request by doing something for her 1st. Do that and then the next time I looked at bikes and was deciding between a P5 and a Plasma she said "why don't you just get both and see which you like better." I got the P5 and saved some chips for later :-)!

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David
* Ironman for Life! (Blog) * IM Everyday Hero Video * Daggett Shuler Law *
Disclaimer: I have personal and professional relationships with many athletes, vendors, and organizations in the triathlon world.

So i've got to go and f*ck a porn star?!?

I can't see how it'll help, but i'm willing to try.

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Sexy showers and now this?

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Anchoring expectations and looking past the sale. Nice, I like it.

OH? I doesn't fit you?

That's funny, it fits me fine ... Might as well keep it [they're such a pain in the ass to return and re-fit and all]

We'll get you a new one next time

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Maybe the better approach is to say "at least I didn't f**k a porn star" (unless she already knows that you did).

"Warranty replacement."

It's the same color as the bike you already have, right?

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Some are born to move the world to live their fantasies...

https://triomultisport.com/
http://www.mjolnircycles.com/

Write on an index card:

COUPON
Best sex of your life!
Redeemable anytime*!

*when I am not training.

That'll smooth things over.

You know that was something I saw on TV (not a bike per say but a different "gift"). Almost ended up ruining their married on that episode if I recall correctly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03N2uIoXptU

I understand your pain. I genuinely didn't think she would tell the difference between an Elite Direto and my 7 year old Kurt Kinetic. My bright GREEN Kurt Kinetic. Silly boy.

Word of advice from the voice of experience.. don't lie about the price. It might seem quite feasible to tell an uninformed spouse that a turbo trainer could cost two hundred bucks, but... they know about Google.

That said it is amazing how many 2nd hand bargains I've picked up over the years, officially.

My go to is "I've had that for a long time" She knows now and it's a running joke but it occasionally worked until she caught on.

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My wife is into photography. I used to grease the skids with camera equipment. She's caught on, though. Now anytime I say something like, "honey, you know that lens you've been looking at? I think you ought to get it," she no longer says "really honey? Thank you!" Instead she immediately goes to the "what kind of bike are you wanting now?" line of inquiry.

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"They're made of latex, not nitroglycerin"

Some good suggestions here, but a couple tried and trued approaches I use:

1. Me: I was thinking about getting a motorcycle, what do you think?
Wife: Like hell you are, no way.
Me: Ah well, guess I'll just get a new bike then.
Wife: Fine.

This isn't super applicable to your situation since you didn't do it beforehand. So, my second approach would be distraction. You need to come home from work with a story or emergency or just something that will make her completely forget about the bike for today. Most likely she'll never think to come back to it as the bike will have been normalized after a couple days when it comes back to her mind.

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Dimond Bikes Superfan

It can also be written as n+1 where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

Dude, really?