behave like adults?

"Guess what honey?!?! I got sponsored!!!"

Any chance you won it in a drawing?
( I actually have won a bike)

You should've cleared it with her first. Now your only option is to get her bling of equal or greater value before you get home.

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

Oh, and for future reference; you can generally have shipments held at the local center and pick it up there.

I believe the airport protocol is "exercise equipment", and to stick to that story no matter what.

If only there was some way you could have foreseen and mitigated the possibility of this happening!!!!!

1) Have it held for pick up.

2) Tell beforehand next time.

2a) Start talking about a new bike a year before you plan to actually get a new bike so she finally just agrees to it just to get you to shut up. Also effective strategy for bigger TV, new car, etc.

3) Explain that the correct number of bikes is always n+1.

Just say 'I am fairly certain I told you about this.'

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

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"They're made of latex, not nitroglycerin"

Buy some plane tickets to a nice place for a weekend and a two night stay. That should be a lot less than what a new bike cost anyway, although I guess it depends on first class or not and hotel.

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Blog: http://262toboylstonstreet.blogspot.com/
https://twitter.com/NateThomasTri
Coaching: https://bybtricoaching.com/ - accepting athletes for 2023

Ship to the office...

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Cheers,
Sam

You book a nice vacation or let her adopt that dog she keeps passively dropping hints about...not that I would know...

Surprise Honey!!! I got you a bike...

How deep do you want to dig your own grave?

Rule 11 and HTFU.

http://www.velominati.com/the-rules/

This is the correct answer.

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

My husband does this with Lego. I still notice when new stuff shows up. At this point we have an unstated "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

I think that's my dad's strategy for golf clubs....

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

I do it with shoes. I have a few stashed at my office, that way I can buy them when on a good sale but I can introduce them to the wife on a better schedule. Too many in a short periods tends to turn up the heat to uncomfortable levels.

"Yeah, you said it was ok. I remember it because you were drinking that wine you like, and I thought I should get you a bottle as a thank you for being so supportive"

"and by the way, I got us tickets for 2 weeks to <insert destination here> and I thought it would be really nice to take your parents along, besides spending time with you there's nothing I enjoy more than spending time with my in-laws".

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

Funny.

OP, can you wear a body camera (GoPro or something) and post the wrath of the N+1 sin you committed?

Good luck though. Last few large cycling related purchases (bikes, smart trainer, power meters) I cleared it with the wife first (in some cases I really didn't have to or need to but I did so as a courtesy to her).

Post on slowtwitch & direct her to the thread: 'Pick your favorite excuse & we'll go with that darling"

To be fair i did bring it up a few weeks ago telling her i was going to buy a new bike this year at some stage. I figured that she didn't say "No you're fucking not!" with enough conviction so i took that as tacit approval. So it's her fault - she wasn't clear.

I had planned to buy another black bike figuring she'd never notice the difference but alas it was sold out so Day-Glo Cannondale green it is. I'd even thought about it last night to get the delivery postponed until Friday when i'd be "working" from home so could intercept it, but then I went swimming and forgot to call them. I figured the extra day of having the bike would more than compensate for the hassle...

I'll let you know how it goes... Anyone got a sofa?

Not always

This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

For success, this is what you should have done: or my "how to get your spouse to let you buy bike shit 101"

1. Mention you're looking at a bike. She'll probably say you don't need one.
2. After a week, show her a few bikes, just pics. No prices.
3. Another week, shower her a few more. Point out what you don't want but cost more, but then say that this other cheaper one seems just "ok".
4. Week off.
5. Show a pic of something that looks worse than what you already own on CL

You'll get a "just get the damn thing and stop bugging me, just don't max the checking account out".

Profit. Repeat later for wheels or other kit.

Sounds like an "extra sex for bike" sort of proposition

Maybe lead with that?

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Hello RCCo and All,

Ask yourself .... how would Trump handle this situation?

He seems to manage to skate through some dangerous domestic thin ice ..... sometimes .....

A Twitter message to Trump should reward you with quality advice on managing domestic tranquility ..... or NOT

---

Cheers, Neal

+1 mph Faster

It's always great when a typo leads to an even better post! Good one.

You just made my day. I laughed so hard and equally at all responses. No good advice to offer you, but been in similar situation, actually worse. It all works out somehow. Number of years married helps. After 24 years she is used to just about anything from me.
I did send once a group email to all our friends about a party we were putting together, she was included. My phone address book, I saved my wife as a contact nick name "My Skinny Bitch". Yep, when email got out, she was addressed as such in the address/name bar. Everybpdy saw it. I started getting emails from friends, oh boy, you get away with a lot.....:) Ooopsies! I did recover! Still married.
You will be fine. Lots of honey ass kissing, you will be mowing the shit out of your yard, home projects through your eyeballz, you will recover. I believe in you. :)

I have a great marriage (mostly b/c of a great wife). Part of that is I ask for permission, not forgiveness. I always pre-grease the request by doing something for her 1st. Do that and then the next time I looked at bikes and was deciding between a P5 and a Plasma she said "why don't you just get both and see which you like better." I got the P5 and saved some chips for later :-)!

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David
* Ironman for Life! (Blog) * IM Everyday Hero Video * Daggett Shuler Law *
Disclaimer: I have personal and professional relationships with many athletes, vendors, and organizations in the triathlon world.

So i've got to go and f*ck a porn star?!?

I can't see how it'll help, but i'm willing to try.

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Sexy showers and now this?

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Anchoring expectations and looking past the sale. Nice, I like it.

OH? I doesn't fit you?

That's funny, it fits me fine ... Might as well keep it [they're such a pain in the ass to return and re-fit and all]

We'll get you a new one next time

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Maybe the better approach is to say "at least I didn't f**k a porn star" (unless she already knows that you did).

"Warranty replacement."

It's the same color as the bike you already have, right?

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Some are born to move the world to live their fantasies...

https://triomultisport.com/
http://www.mjolnircycles.com/

Write on an index card:

COUPON
Best sex of your life!
Redeemable anytime*!

*when I am not training.

That'll smooth things over.

You know that was something I saw on TV (not a bike per say but a different "gift"). Almost ended up ruining their married on that episode if I recall correctly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03N2uIoXptU

I understand your pain. I genuinely didn't think she would tell the difference between an Elite Direto and my 7 year old Kurt Kinetic. My bright GREEN Kurt Kinetic. Silly boy.

Word of advice from the voice of experience.. don't lie about the price. It might seem quite feasible to tell an uninformed spouse that a turbo trainer could cost two hundred bucks, but... they know about Google.

That said it is amazing how many 2nd hand bargains I've picked up over the years, officially.

My go to is "I've had that for a long time" She knows now and it's a running joke but it occasionally worked until she caught on.

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My wife is into photography. I used to grease the skids with camera equipment. She's caught on, though. Now anytime I say something like, "honey, you know that lens you've been looking at? I think you ought to get it," she no longer says "really honey? Thank you!" Instead she immediately goes to the "what kind of bike are you wanting now?" line of inquiry.

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"They're made of latex, not nitroglycerin"

Some good suggestions here, but a couple tried and trued approaches I use:

1. Me: I was thinking about getting a motorcycle, what do you think?
Wife: Like hell you are, no way.
Me: Ah well, guess I'll just get a new bike then.
Wife: Fine.

This isn't super applicable to your situation since you didn't do it beforehand. So, my second approach would be distraction. You need to come home from work with a story or emergency or just something that will make her completely forget about the bike for today. Most likely she'll never think to come back to it as the bike will have been normalized after a couple days when it comes back to her mind.

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Dimond Bikes Superfan

It can also be written as n+1 where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

Dude, really?

This happened to me last summer. Nashbar was selling the Diamondback Release 3 Full Suspension MTB, (msrp $2500) for $1,800. Over Labor Day weekend, they dropped the price 25% and had free shipping. I had no choice but to buy it. I was expecting it to arrive on a Wednesday and was home waiting for it. I had one of my daughters in on it and told her to be on the lookout for it and not to let her mother know when it arrived. I did a quick errand and the bike arrived in the 15 minute window I was gone. Fed-Ex left the giant box on the front porch. My younger daughter was very proud of herself for wrestling the giant box in the foyer all by herself.
I got the call from my wife shortly after that.
Her: "What the hell is this gigantic box in the hallway?"
Me: "I have no idea."
Her: "It has Bike written all over it in big letters. Did you buy another bike?"
Me: "I have no idea what that is. I'll be home in five minutes."
Her: "It can't stay here in the hallway."
Me: "I'll get it out of there."

I don't remember exactly how I explained it. After 24 years of marriage, I don't question some of her purchases and she doesn't grill me too extensively about mine.

Deny, deny, deny and pretend there is nothing even there. Bike? What bike? I don't see a bike.

Make her think she's crazy.

Regarding the distraction technique: allow me to present the nuclear codes.

Before I do, caution. Do not mess around with this. You only get to use this once in your life and you need to use it at the right time to avoid unwanted consequences.

Here it is: I’ve been thinking...do you want to have another baby?

That looks very similar to the programme I run:

1. Say you're interested in buying x thing, but you're not sure. Your old x is giving you problems, it needs to be replaced, but... it's getting on. Maybe when there's more money in the checking account
2. Say you've found the perfect x. It's only $$$$$ big dollars. But you're still not sure
3. After a short while, say you've found another x, which doesn't look as good, it's a big downgrade on your dream x, but it's OK. It's a lot less $$$ that step 2s x thing (this is the x you really want)
4. confirm you've had a look at a bunch of options, and you're going to pull the trigger
5. Buy x. Unless she goes nuclear. It which case, leave it a couple of months, complain about current x thing, subconsciously building the hassle factor, then run steps 3 to 4 again.

Alternatively, grow a pair and buy what you want with your money, providing you don't bankrupt your family, it's not on credit and all your bills are paid (and there's nothing on your credit card). But don't bitch and whine when she wants to buy something equally frivilous in your eyes, but means a lot to her (so long as it doesn't bankrupt you etc)

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Swim. Overbike. Walk.

You put us husbands in mortal danger with your post. Now our wives are reading this!!!!! Hahaha! Cheers mate.

Getting Sex and a new bike in the same week? I've got no chance of being THAT lucky. I've been married too long and i've got too many kids... I guess that's why i need a new bike ;)

if that is the case n+1=s-1 --> s = n+2 , so he is fine

I'll never get these questions

I buy what I want and she buys what she wants. My wife is not my mother so I don't need permission to make a purchase we can afford

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Yellowfin Endurance Coaching and Bike Fits
USAT Level 1, USAC Level 3

 

2a) Start talking about a new bike a year before you plan to actually get a new bike so she finally just agrees to it just to get you to shut up. Also effective strategy for bigger TV, new car, etc.



This!

That's what i think too - This is a tiny percentage of my annual income so she can bugger off if she wants to make a fuss about it.

I've just taken the bike out for a little spin - It's worth the aggro for sure!

As far as price goes, my wife and I have an understanding with regards to large purchases. The price quote to your spouse is always, round down and drop the tax. My new bike was $2800 with tax, but I told the missus $2000. She does the same with the closet full of clothes, shoes and purses, new kitchen counters, backyard pool, etc etc.

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https://trigeek1969.blogspot.ca

Tonight, I'm gonna go to my wife and tell her that I'm just gonna make expensive purchases without discussing them with her first. We can afford them, and she's not my mother and I don't need her permission.

I'm sure that'll go well, and there is no chance that she will remember that conversation forever and use it against me whenever she deems appropriate.

Anyone have a couch or shed I can hide out in for a few days?

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Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

Why not just get her a new bike of her own?
My bonus comes in in a few weeks. New bike for me, and also for her.

This is gold. I’ll never roll the dice and try using it, but it was great for a laugh.

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_____________________________________________________
Instagram | Team Kiwami North America

Yep. You make sure that your wife makes a similiar/larger purchase BEFORE your purchase. You hope that she is using that purchase still when your bike comes up.

Oh we should get that new car, she is driving the car, then you get the bike. If she has been shopping for X, make sure gets X before your Y shows up. Preferably while she is shopping for X your tell her about Y (the bike). My wife doesnt care when I get new toys because she is getting something as well, and vice versa. This is our version of handling things.

Alternatively, I make sure she goes on a girl trip when things are going to be showing up and I will take care of the kids.

This would be me, if I were married. If I were the OPs wife, my response to him would be, “Where is my new bike?”

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

Holding it for a friend?

Really aggressive she got when I started sanding the just arrived brand new expensive carbon frameset.

(I said: "hate that paintjob, gonna let it be custom-painted".)


(Edit: when I reread this post, I see I exaggerated a bit, and in the end she also liked the custom-paintjob)

Did only one bike arrive...
Im cancelling the other order and never buying form them again...

My wife uses that one all the time. Thing is, I suspect most often that she didn't, but if I challenge her on it, the conversation will turn to how I never listen.

Only time I have done this I got in pretty big trouble. Probably because it was a .22 LR and she isn't a fan of guns.

My wife is overall not a spender, she doesn't wear jewelry, doesn't like expensive vacations, or anything else. Oh her income is also a lot more than mine (like double). So I'm fighting an uphill battle.

Generally what I do is 1) start going on a craigslist selling spree, old bikes, tools and other things I don't use. 2) save up credit card reward points 3) earn a some extra cash volunteering for medical research studies (blood samples and stuff).

So when I make a purchase I argue that it is more or less a wash as I sold stuff, used reward points and extra cash. Seemed to work for the 735XT garmin I just purchased.

I must be so much of a cheapskate that IF I did something like a big undiscussed $10k bike purchase, my wife would literally go "good for you!! Glad to you see you enjoying spending your money!"

Of course, this likely means she will soon be spending similar amounts on her end...

 Man up buttercup

Cut your left one off before she does.

Dude, you don't have a work address to use? That's like 80% of the reason I have an outside office.

Turns out this worked after all :)

As a lesson to everyone considering doing a similar non-agreed bike purchase, who is clearly too stupid to have the bike delivered to work, I can summarise the journey of the last 24 hours using the metaphor of a Flandrian Classic. Lots of ups and downs and rough cobbled sections, some requiring some rapid changes in direction and careful navigation. But happily the race ended in a sprint to the finish :)

And i've still got a new bike :)

Tell her you're a company beta tester, and the bike is free, as long as you ride five days a week and report back your observations. Set her up for the next bike by telling her that, if you do a good job for them, they're likely to send you a new bike next year. Then you're all set.

Love this strategy. It also helps that my wife has terrible memory!

"Looks like I need to buy you Ginko Biloba too!"