I usually pay for the camping trips I go on with friends. Mostly they are pretty good and email me money the day I tell everyone what they owe. If someone hasn't paid me after a week I send an email to the entire group and shame the person.

Everyone in that group knows one guy who has been largely ostracized for being a massive mooch/douche. His name is Kevin. I email the entire group and point out that Kevin is back and his new name is {insert person who hasn't paid yet}.

Works every time.

As for Kevin, a lot of those guys put up with his act for way too long. I was never close friends with him so I can't comment on that too much.

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

Sounds like he’s taken you for $1000 or more so far. Not sure that’s really a friend. Or maybe he’s a friend who just doesn’t get to come along on this trip anymore.

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Slowguy

(insert pithy phrase here...)

He goes thru the motions of a being a buddy, but at the end of the day, he's just not a good enough person to remain on the list of "close friends".

In college I loaned a buddy a $500. We were both dirt poor and this was a long time ago, so that was >2 month's rent. It took him a decade to pay me back in dribbles. I reminded him of it annually or so. He seemed to fool himself into thinking that it was "not a big deal". He was wrong about that. I loaned him that money when I was hard up myself. I wanted it back. His behavior was f**ked up. I would never do that to a buddy, so wtf kind of rule book was he working out of?

We're still buddies, I suppose, but we're not close. As much because he turned into a right-wing loon as anything else. Am certainly not going to front him money again. Me suffering thru his fb posts is favor enough.

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Books @ Amazon
"If only he had used his genius for niceness, instead of Evil." M. Smart

I've tried that. We have a group message. Every time I post, pointing out he still owes money, he responds with the Facebook thumbs up. It is a running "joke" that this guy never pays, but it is wearing on people. Problem is, a lot of people at this rally like him, but do not know this side of him.

The guy has no shame. If we cut him out of our cabin this year, there is a good chance he will still show up down in North Carolina and crash on the couch.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

I used to have a good bud, we were both getting into light carpentry/remodeling. He lined up a 3-4week job in my area (he lived out of town), but it would only work if he had help and a place to crash. We agreed on an hourly labor rate and I kept track of my hours. He stayed at my place for free, and I did alot of the heavy lifting, as he'd often bail back home to visit his new gf for the day, etc.
He was to pay me at end of job. (Obvious where this is going..). On the last day of work, he woke at 5am, packed his shit, and left without telling me. I high-tailed it over to the jobsite and confronted him while he was loading up his tools. Never got paid, end of friendship. Lesson learned.

Suggest that he hit Nova up for the funds.
He can pay her back whenever he's ready.
She's super-cool about that stuff.

Yep. It is looking more and more like we need to cut him out of this trip. But, there is no question doing so will end the friendship. That may not be the worst thing in the world.

What I am angriest about is not losing the money. I am pissed that he put me in this position where I have to chase after him for the money. I cannot stand asking people for money, even if it is money they rightfully owe.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
Fool me three times WTF

Easier for me to say then you do but he's out next trip. Sounds like your other buddies will understand. Much like the Nova thread with someone borrowing money. Does this guy mooch out on things on the trip as well ? I'm guessing there's more mooching going on .

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

A friendship, I guess if you count marriage as a friendship its currently ending the marriage of a relative of mine. The husband is an incredible mooch and I can't stand it. His wife finally had enough because of how it effects the kids. I remember one time we went over to their house for an event and we brought a dish to eat that needed to be made there. My wife made the dish but had left-over stuff in bags and boxes (like half a bag of cashews) and he proceeds to take all of the stuff and start putting them in his fridge and cabinet. I said fuck that and took it all back and home. At one point we had season tickets for UW Football and we'd purposely not answer his calls the day of the game so he couldn't find our tailgate and mooch food and beer.

Ha! That's good!

I didn't see her thread until after I posted mine. Funny coincidence.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

He mooches the entire trip. We are usually out in groups as small as 4 or as large as a dozen or so. When we stop to eat, sometimes we take turns picking up the check. Sometimes we all throw money on the table. He will wait until the cheapest meal with the fewest people and make a grandiose gesture to grab the check. Then, you will not see his wallet again. Well, he does the old wallet feign where he reaches for it, but someone beat him to the check.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

It appears it could put a strain on the friendship between the US and Canada. ;)

My family has Disney Vacation Club, and a guy I went to high school with used to come down with me and my friends. No big deal he just used a bed, but he was getting a free hotel pretty much every year. Invited him out to our wedding, he brought a friend as a plus one and got us like a 15 dollar gift.

Don’t really care about the money part but my wife and I agreed to punt him from and future trips down to Disney. At somepoint it’s just about respect and effort. He obviously didn’t care enough so no reason for us to.

Seems like my friend and your friend should go out together. They certainly know how to work the crowd.

I'm not lending her any more money and if I were you I would let him know right up front (This is of course easier for me to type than actually do.) that he isn't welcome without payment up front.

Sucks to be us. :)

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"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix

Know someone who became infamous to everyone else for what we dubbed his "check magic", typically used when there were multiple families dining together. Grab the check as soon as it hit the table, do the math, announce what everyone owed, take everyone's cash, go through the empty gesture of giving everyone a few bucks in change back, then suddenly "realize" he'd fucked up the math and ask for even more than he'd just given back. "Oh, and we need to add a tip too." It would get to the point where you'd leave a diner wondering how the fuck you just paid $80/family for breakfast for two adults and two kids.

After a few go-rounds of that we'd always make sure somebody else grabbed the check before him.

Be up front with him about it. Let him know that he hasn't paid for the last three years, let alone this year, and that if he doesn't pay, he can't go. If he has a problem with that and it ends the friendship, then you're probably better off without that kind of "friend". If he comes up with the money and tries the mooching thing while on the trip, make it a point to let him know that he should be paying his fair share. If money is so tight for him that he can't really afford the trip, he shouldn't be going. Not paying for one trip could have been due to circumstances beyond his control, but going again year after year and still not paying, that wouldn't cut it with me. I don't need friends like that.

Here's a thought. If you really like the guy and he's a good guy to be around except for the money piece, just consider it your gift to him. Tell him that this is what you want to do. Tell him the prior years' expenses are a gift as well. Tell him you will cover his share of the joint meals Be glad you are in a position to pay for him. If anyone else asks, tell them it is your gift to him and be glad of it. Put it all behind you and get on with enjoying your trip and your buddy.

Just a thought.

He's taking the piss

If he has a sob story and can't afford it he shouldn't be going

If he can afford it he should pay

One way round this is of course to arrange it your self but to simply get them to pay the accom directly

The easiest thing to do would be to simply not invite him until the arrears are paid

It's also not fair on either your self or the others but worst of all he is treating you like a mug

I hear it cost Trump $130,000 to end a Stromy friendship.

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Remember - It's important to be comfortable in your own skin... because it turns out society frowns on wearing other people's

That's how I thought of it the first year. If there was even a semblance of appreciation, I could, perhaps, continue to go that route. Therein lies the rub, there is none. I appreciate your comment. It is what I am struggling with.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

I owe a friend a lot of money. We had a cash flow problem whilst selling a property

It's the single biggest stress in My life because whilst it was a huge help to me to tide us over - bridging effectively - I just want it off my plate

Your friend does not appear to give a fuck that you are carrying him

That's not the sort of person I'd want to be owing me money

My friend knows he's the first person to get paid when our house sells.

I'd also not want to lose my friend over money

I feel the need to share some Kevin stories.

Kevin also has no shame.

Kevin would go out with a large group. Order a coke then sit there with his coke and ask people if they are going to finish their dinner when it is obvious that they won't. He then drops $2 on the table for his $1.99 coke. No tax. No tip.

Kevin once pestered a friend into going to Pizza Hut with him. The friend didn't want to go. He was in university and was broke. Kevin wouldn't relent. Told him you pay for the drinks and salad and I'll get the pizza. Finally Dave caved and went. Kevin pulled out a coupon, buy two drinks and a salad and get a medium pizza free. Dave paid for drinks and salad, Kevin paid with a coupon.

Kevin tried this again for golf. Invited three guys out with him and at the counter pulls out a pay for 3 rounds and the 4th round is free coupon. However, the clubhouse guy took the coupon and applied a 25% discount to everyone. Kevin was steamed. At the end of the round he actually told everyone "Since I got you guys a discount on the golf I think its only fair if you take me out for dinner". They all made excuses as to why they were busy that night.

Superbowl party one year. The host recently lost his job but was willing to host. Everyone chipped in and brought stuff. Kevin loudly proclaimed he would bring a case of coke, he really made a big deal about this, it was quite something. He showed up, sat his case of coke down at the front door, went to the fridge and proceeded to drink coke that was in the fridge all night. At the end of the game he took his unopened case of coke home with him. People actually gave him shit for that one to which he replied "you don't know my circumstances so shut up".

Kevin worked at a hockey rink. He could get ice for free. He would invite a bunch of guys to play shinny and then charge them all $10. I went one time. Never again. Kevin would supply a case of coke for the guys though... so selfless...

Kevin ran a softball team. Every year he would try to get people to join a 50/50 draw to help pay for the teams fees. I have no proof of this but I am certain that he would pay for his season first and the rest of the team would get the leftovers. Dave (from pizza hut above) was asked in front of a bunch of us if he wanted to buy tickets for his softball 50/50 draw. Dave loudly told Kevin, "Kevin, you're an adult. You can pay for your own softball fees". We laughed hysterically. Kevin found it much less funny.

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

Go re-watch the Sopranos episode where Christopher repo's a car from a screenwriter who's borrowed money from him..
We own a small business. Following up with late payers used to really irk me. Ppl are assh*les if they think they can get away with it. You either have to push back, or cut ties. Many times I've wished I could go Full Soprano.

I feel like Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny, trying to collect on the $200 Lisa won playing pool ...

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR