Estranged family comes back into my life a couple weeks ago. Lots of feels ... some good but a lot of bad. Not long after, my uncle, who was like a second father to me and who I wanted to reconcile with dies before I reached out. Guilt and regret deserved. The day after my uncle is buried, last Friday, I get a Facebook friend request from the current wife of my biological father, who I've never had in my life for nearly the past 38 of my nearly 40 years on earth. I spoke to him yesterday for the first time ever. Neither of us really knew what to say, other than we'd speak again. The same day I speak to him, I get a Facebook friend request from a girl in the same state as him. It turns out I have two other half sisters and a half brother!!! She hasn't talked to him in 5 years as well, but randomly asked his wife on Saturday if she knew who I was!!! I don't think I could make-up the kind of past 10 days or 1.5 months if I tried.
Shame, regret, remorse, bitterness, resentment, joy, closure for estranged family members still living. Not reconciling and being able to speak with my uncle ever again is one of the largest regrets of my life. It is something that I said I wouldn't let happen, and it did. I took it for granted that I had the time, and I didn't. Life is never fair, but this ... this is a real throat punch and deservedly.
Someone like a father to me that I kept at distance for poor reasons suddenly dies and my biological father who I've not spoken to in 39 years suddenly is on the other end of a phone call the same week?!?! I cannot understand it. I have 3 other siblings that have been looking for me??? I believed their existence was more rumor than a real possibility, yet they exist. My weekend was a fog. I'm not sure that I'm processing it all properly.
Gnothi Seauton.
Shame, regret, remorse, bitterness, resentment, joy, closure for estranged family members still living. Not reconciling and being able to speak with my uncle ever again is one of the largest regrets of my life. It is something that I said I wouldn't let happen, and it did. I took it for granted that I had the time, and I didn't. Life is never fair, but this ... this is a real throat punch and deservedly.
Someone like a father to me that I kept at distance for poor reasons suddenly dies and my biological father who I've not spoken to in 39 years suddenly is on the other end of a phone call the same week?!?! I cannot understand it. I have 3 other siblings that have been looking for me??? I believed their existence was more rumor than a real possibility, yet they exist. My weekend was a fog. I'm not sure that I'm processing it all properly.
Gnothi Seauton.