When I first became married, my husband was a closet smoker -especially while I was out on century rides.

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Proud Representative of Slowtwitch Anti-Atheists Society.

Actually, I often think that's harder when you have two serious athletes and kids. I divorced and remarried long ago when I was a runner. At the time I thought if I ever remarried it would have to be to some fit runner lady. Then I met someone who was my complete opposite but complemented me in practically everyway. My wife is overweight (and was when I met her) and her hobbies are nothing more exciting than reading and cooking. She is my best friend and I wouldn't trade her for anyone. She supported my running then and my switch to triathlons 7 years ago. Whatever race I want to do she is 100% behind me. She is as much a fixture at the LBS as I am. We'll be celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary this summer.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Frank Burns

'Couples that tri together stay together'

There.
Fixed for ya 2.5 years later :)




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I agree the training (or not) part is a red herring to whether you're really of compatible temperament or not. Traning together makes for a nice sound bite, and it *could* be the source of a deeper bond, but not necessarily at all. I know athletic couples who train together (or did at one time) and it still works great over many years, but others who were once compatible athletically but came unraveled when trying to balance having a kid or two, and then suddenly got very petty and insecure with each other about who got to do what training and when while the other had to "take one for the team" and so forth, or when other training partners were added to the mix.

The fact that they were both runners or bikers may have looked like a good match at first, but really it was pretty superficial. People who are too 'married' to their training or athletic goals and have their sense of self tied up in that don't always do very well when they have to take a back seat to someone else sometimes ~ even if that other person has similar interests, because it's just not possible for everything to be perfectly even or fair 100% of the time (especially if/when kids or job conflicts are ever involved). The ones I know who are still successful have been able to get along when one or the other of them had to scale way back on training due to kids and/or work, and recognizing that after years of uneven training like that, they often weren't able to do things 'together' like they used to because their fitness levels were too incompatible ~ yet they still remained supportive of one another at whatever level/activity that happened to be at the time.

Completely agree! My first marriage lasted 2 years. I picked up running when we were newlyweds and wanted to enter races. Ex-husband thought running was great but paying to run (aka race fees) were ridiculous and didn't encourage me. That was an underlying problem that I should have seen coming but I we were both so inactive when we were dating, I didn't think anything would change.

When I started dating again, I looked for runner athletes because I knew we'd have something in common. A year and a half later, I'm training for my first half iron on my boyfriend's triathlon team. Yes, it helps that we have a similar training schedule but I think even if I didn't join him, I would have supported him. I loved being his sherpa last year (hence the screen name) and only picked up the sport myself because I wanted to do it for me. I'm completely positive that if I weren't training along side with him, I would be supportive of him. I can't predict the future but I do think that at some point, I'm going to be a triathlon spouse because he has more passion towards the sport and I have more passion to procreate. :-)

The insensitive clod! Exercise is drinking Diet Coke.

Amen to this post:

If I put into my marriage what I put into my training, we would be continuous honeymooners.

This is going on the bathroom mirror! Thank you.

Are you serious or are you writing a script for the Naked Gun?

"Ed: Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there's only a 10 percent chance of that."

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My Blog

Nicest post I have read in a very long time!

That is great! You are lucky, she definitely sounds like a keeper :-)