I don't know about divorce rates for triathletes but I do know that if I do end up divorced, I want to be in good enough shape to pick up a younger hottie and do stuff with her - triathlon is a way of hedging my bets.

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Remember - It's important to be comfortable in your own skin... because it turns out society frowns on wearing other people's

The posts are numbered. I never noticed before........... :-)

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He who understands the WHY, will understand the HOW.

Til death do us part.

Bingo!

Take a bow Velo E, that was very well said.

Just aged up to the 50+ AG this year. My wife is 32. We have a 2-month-old daughter. The problem isn't keeping up with the younger hottie and doing stuff with her, it's staying in god enough shape to keep up with the RESULTS of doing stuff with her...

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Some are born to move the world to live their fantasies...

https://triomultisport.com/
http://www.mjolnircycles.com/

I fought for my marriage in counseling for 3 years and worked on it for another year. I gave up. I have to live with that decision, but I felt like I would give up another decade and only teach my kids that relationships are about counseling. I told my wife when I proposed, I was proposing an idea of a life together. Through counseling, she determined my idea was a fairy tale and not reality. I am not giving up on the fairy tale.

Realize, as in my case, the difference from triathlon as marriage is that triathlon is not a team event. One person can try as hard as they want..... Limp along in pain. Puke and keep moving. Wake up everyday with high hopes of a great workout. What about the other person? Their actions change the dynamics of everything.

This is just a joke..... But, you could have voted and then drove to the hospital the day your wife was born. Weird huh. Totally not meaning anything by this comment.... Just weird when you put it in perspective.

Some of the best advice I ever got: You should associate the happiest activities in your life with your spouse. If you have a hobby that your wife simply cannot stand (after giving it a legitimate chance), then find a different hobby. Mine used to be golf; I was a single digit handicap. I gave it up because it drove my wife insane. Now, I spend nearly the same amount of time (and money) running, but because she grew up in a running family, she completely supports it. I don't miss golf one bit.

You should associate the happiest activities in your life with your spouse:
Maybe that means training together, if you are in somewhat equal physical condition.
Maybe that means one spouse supports the other by going to races, etc.

I love running, but I wouldn't go to races if my wife (and kids) didn't genuinely enjoy coming to them and often participating. Of course, physical fitness is one of the things that drew us together in the first place. These posts about folks not realizing that their spouse was a couch potato until after they were already married are making me cringe. I'm no Dr. Phil, but that seems like the kind of thing that might come up while they are dating...

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“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” -A.W. Tozer
"The best things in life make you sweaty." -Barbara W.
"I was never great at math, so I had to learn to run faster." -Robbie Sandlin
“Life is like a 10-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles Schultz

Very interesting thread. I have been divorced for 13yrs, and it was a nasty one with 2 young children. I was at the time a professional athlete but not with Tri, another sport. I think that all professional athletes and or very committed amatures have something in common. The desire, the passion to win or to do your personal best.

I went to a shrink to talk things over when going through my hard times and she said something interesting to me. She said this "on the track you would run a competitor over to win, crush him if you had to, to win.......its in your blood, your dna to compete. When you come home you have to sometimes cross the finnish line together with your spouse. Don't take the race home" What she meant was that I was taking the race home to my wife...now ex-wife. That was my problem.

She said to me most marrages fail with athletes in general, not just triathletes, all athletes. What ever sport we do, we are hardcore and being a hardcore competitor at home will have difficulties.

50 years old with a 32 year old...Man you got skills brother. pics pls. If your piece is big enough and you know how to use it properly your marriage will work. I said what all the women were thinking so boys...get your pieces together if you need a male enhancement do your research.

Are you out of high school yet?

So 75% of Ironman finishers are divorced?

Maybe I should stay on my current team. 75% of us are still with our first spouse. I will remain so as long as I don't offer unsolicited advice to my IMAZ training wife.

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Yours in golf,
PGA_MIKE
Couch Potato to IM SPUD in 4 years

Excellent point.

If your piece is big enough and you know how to use it properly your marriage will work. I said what all the women were thinking so boys…


Wow, thanks for the insight.

What about those of us who didn't marry a brainless rhino? Should we consider a more cerebral approach or just follow your lead and keep them tied round the back of the trailer?

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https://www.pbandjcoaching.com
https://www.thisbigroadtrip.com

Been happily married for 21+ years, and couldn't disagree more. My wife loves tennis, and I suck at it. She likes to walk, and recreational swim, but has no interest in endurance sports. We each need our own space, interest, and relationships (friend stuff, not the other). Interesting how different folks get the same desired results with opposite approach.

On a somewhat separate note, we've enjoyed 14+ years of the "tri life". But, I was on my "A" game for only a few years. It would not have worked if I was full speed all those years. Even when I KQ'd, I averaged only 12-13 hours/week. For me personally, and I know others that make it work, my marriage, work, family, and sanity would not survive year-after-year of 15-18 hours/week training.

I accept a challenge of "how loud I can whisper" - meaning I have a box of 6-10 hours/ week with some occasional mega blocks. But that's all I can do in my balanced life. I like to see how fast I can go within that box. Edit: I also like my sleep and relaxed downtime. I know I could squeeze out another 5 hours/week to train, but just not me anymore.

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Damn, that's a cold ass honkey.

"Tennis lessons", huh? Is that what she calls it?

(Sorry, on my iPad, not sure how to make my letters pink. Totally joking.)

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____________________________________________
“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” -A.W. Tozer
"The best things in life make you sweaty." -Barbara W.
"I was never great at math, so I had to learn to run faster." -Robbie Sandlin
“Life is like a 10-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles Schultz

This! I was in a short lived marriage when I became a runner a few years ago. We grew apart and I saw that my husband didn't support me "paying" to run races when I could just run for myself. Our different mentality on challenging ourselves came out and we soon fell apart. I'm now in a relationship with a triathlete and its the reason I got into triathlon training in the first place! I really believe that being on a similar training schedule is the best scenario but if both people don't have the same interests, both people have to be support of the others. That is why I believe marriages do fail relating to athletic training.

A few years ago, we got someone to cut our grass. I asked if we could outsource the rest of my spousal duties so I could train more...

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Damn, that's a cold ass honkey.

I have been married 24 years and completed 2 iron distance race, 5 or so marathons and tons of shorter races. My wife does not run, bike or swim. Things are very good, especially now that we have an empty nest. If you love each other and respect each other it is certainly possible. I will say I was pretty tired today, ran 12.5 then went shopping.

Shopping after running for 12.5 miles??? You sir, are a machine!