I'm simply saying that you can't call it a successful marriage if it ends in divorce. Death or not, the titanic is a fine example. The boat needs to get you to the other side, and despite the fact that all was well & good until disaster struck, it didn't make it. The whole point in going to the church (temple, etc) and getting married is to take the vow and make the commitment. If you fail to meet that commitment then I would not call it a success.

You can tell yourself anything you want to make yourself feel better, but if you were to DNF in an Ironman, I sincerely doubt you would call it a success. I sure wouldn't.

Edit: And I certainly understand that not every marriage can work. People change, situations change, etc. Nothing wrong with it, it doesnt mean that anyone is a bad person. I only questioned the gentleman above calling it a success even though he had two marriages end in divorce.

I think it is also very important that people recognize their limitations and know when they're not cut out for something. I'm not blissful in my marriage, but it is the best thing that ever happened to me, it is hard work but rewarding in ways I never imagined and while he drives me batfuckingcrazeee at times, I can't imagine life without him. HOWEVER, if I knew within myself that I was not cut out to share my life with someone else, it would be in Everyone's best interest if I stayed single.

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http://harvestmoon6.blogspot.com
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katasmit

Cheers to that Kathy!


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Well yeah, but I still had a successful swim & bike...

Reading this all makes me feel quite blessed that me and my wife share a passion for road biking, but even so we regularly need to make sure that it is a shared passion. Sometimes we both listen to our inner voice when we know that something else needs to take precedence over training, but we also find ways to ensure that we support each other's fitness time and goals. I'm not happy if my need to train has robbed her of her needs and visa versa. There is of course never enough time for everything so we try make enough time for what matters. We've been discordant at times but the interesting thing is that the best times are when we both feel quite affirmed and supported in our fitness goals.


I wish I could package it in a box for some others here, but it is a highly personal thing. I guess I'm writing to say that it is possible to very fitness minded and have an excellent marriage. Don't give up hope on this if you are feeling despondent.

I love this post so0 I can vent like everyone else. But I read another post today where which bike would be faster at kona P5 or a ridley. Wow so much thought went into the answers and I cant even imagine how much effort went into the set up and the training and money, it adds up to commitment full stop. So I don't think training and IM are the reasons for divorce, it's underlying issues that are highlighted by IM training. Just a thought

Right on to that.

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DISH is how we do it.

I love your point about 1/2 of all marriages ending in death! LOL

I nearly reached divorce, largely due to my tri addiction. If I'd realized the option was death, I probably would have opted for divorce! LOL

Now

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TriDork

"Happiness is a myth. All you can hope for is to get laid once in a while, drunk once in a while and to eat chocolate every day"

I wonder what a thread like this will look like in 15 years. There was a thing on the CBC radio a few weeks ago (can remember which show) about divorce rates. It said that the 50% number is largely influenced by couples who got married in the 70s during a period of shifting expectations about marriage (dual careers, household responsibilities etc). More recently, rates have gone down as couples a. wait longer to get married and b. are more open with each other about expectations.

With regard to triathlon I would suspect many more people are already into the sport when they get married now so there is less need for either changing expectations within the relationship or not changing and getting divorced.

It's really tough when the other half doesn't fully support the addiction.

Here is a Youtube video to cheer you up. Stay strong.

been doin tris for a few years and my chick and i are still in love thats a win...if she fucks me right its a win win nomsaiyan?! But i am on that male enhancement so Its always a win win nomsaiyan?! seeing blue haha

Same here, here's my rant.

Ironman and divorce have nothing to do with each other. If you want to be married you'll do what it takes to be married, if you don't want to be then don't be. Don't use ironman as an excuse. We all know what it takes to be an average or better triathlete. If some of the people that use ironman as an excuse were to put as much effort into their marriage as they do training, it would be a different story.

For some people, working out and racing are a stress relievers.
I think your relationship is already in trouble before you start working out and racing.

So I went back and reread #74. In reading that, it is not just "Ironman" that does this. Any activity that is long and affords the time to be reflective has the same effect. I used to hike, long distances, in the mountains, by myself. I've also done a number of multi-day, self supported cycling tours. And have gone on weekend jaunts with one of the local cycling clubs. With all activities I get to spend several hours a day with my thoughts. It gave me and continues to give me the chance to reflect on my life and all it's aspects.

So, as per many of the respondants, this is not about Triathlon's being bad for marriages rather it is about couples growing apart and NOT making the effort to continue to seek common ground and enjoyment of and with one another.

Something that is rarely discussed before marriage is the amount of effort it will take to keep a marriage going, especially once the honeymoon period is over.

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BC Don
Pain is temporary, not giving it your all lasts all Winter.

I've been happily married to a runner for 37+ yrs. She is currently doing HMs and I train for HIMs. We do our long runs together, which we love doing together. BUT, I can see how 12+ hrs wk of training, when your spouse is not an athlete or if you have kids, can put a huge additional strain on a relationship. I started doing tris around 1983. When our second daugher was born in '86, I stopped. We both continued to run, but no way would I have had time to train for tris. Looking back, I can see that I would have missed too much of our kids growing up. Priorities.....Just my 2 cents. YMMV

WTF did I just read?

The quote seems to be evidence of yet another UNCW grad that spent more time at the beach than in class... :)

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I tweet!

I was wondering the same thing....

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leslie myers
http://www.foodsensenow.com

Watch "Trailer Park Boys - The Best of J-Roc" on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/...youtube_gdata_player

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http://en.wikipedia.org/...eoesophageal_fistula
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_palsy
2020 National Masters Champion - M40-44 - 400m IM
Canadian Record Holder 35-39M & 40-44M - 200 m Butterfly (LCM)

Haha! Thank you for that!

Why isn't there a Slowtwitch dating site already..sheesh :))