AND THEN all the girls that have ever appeared in the hottie thread arrive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST IN TIME FOR ICE CREAM SUNDAES!!!!!!! I SCREAM, U SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn...I was laughing at all of this and was going to post how paulthomas shows up and starts telling us all about the things his "friend" Souza is up to, what he is eating at the party, etc.

Then he goes and posts just that...

Yeah so all the ST women can finally have some peace and quiet hahahaha

---

------------------------
"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

upon site of the Hotties, Big Duke 6 starts filming what becomes the next "girls gone wild" video. and he wins another academy award! AndyPants and her two bitches become the most famed female sex icons in the world!

Vitus, unfortunately, doesn't survive the Hotties. His head pops off and his body blows apart at the site of such wickedly hot women.

sweet....

---

------------------------
"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

[reply] [b]Trailbait[/b] is there because she made the celebratory hootchi mama dresses for all of the town's women...

The last scene is [b]BottomFeeder[/b] modeling his physique for the committee. Will he be allowed to enter?

[/reply]

I brought enough fleece bun warmers and nut huggers for everyone! Hooray!

Pass the wine KC!

"nut huggers"...that is hilarious!!!

warm buns, nuts and pinot for everyone!!!

Word of the party has leaked out and whiners from Tri Newbies Online are trying to crash the party posing as STers. The secret password is "Taint" and you have to know the definition to get through the door.

---

______________________________
Have you hugged Your Mom today?

Record, in his pink fleece nuthugger from Trailbait and a Santa hat, is at the door maintaining security over the festivities using his frame pump as a weapon.

UKGearMuncher and JulianInEngland are alternating between shouting about which footy team is better and singing some incoherent drinking song. AndrewJ says the only real footy is played by Aussies, those Poms don't know footy.

---

------------------------
"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

Oh yeah and Tomziebart is organizing the next run to the liquor store ;-)

---

------------------------
"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

Becca storms in... "I hear Bjorn is here!"

Don't forget to get extra ice....we ran out last year.

---

______________________________
Have you hugged Your Mom today?

apparently AndrewJ and IronDeb have forgotten about their committment to "no alcohol" pre-Ironman.

AndrewJ has a Jager shot glass necklace around his neck, and he is singing old Aussie pub songs. Fraser loves this, and quickly joins in.

IronDeb has a box of wine that she is carrying around like a boom-box, up on the shoulder, dispensing wine as as she goes.

Tom Demerly remembers the song from Sound of Music where the girl asks for her first glass of champagne. This song inspires him to fetch a glass of wine from IronDeb. Tom sips his first full glass of wine, unsure of it's taste, but mystified and ennamoured by the experience. The glass is quickly emptied and he contemplates the lamp shade, thinking it would make one hell of a top hat.

kittycat yells at AndrewJ to stop swigging all the booze, as they have 12 dozen bottles of wine to tend to. He ignores her and suddenly grabs Tom Demerly, who is now sporting the lampshade upon his head, and they dance as Tom sings songs from the Sound of Music.

Francois is jealous, but says nothing, and leaves the room hurt.

Fulla just stormed in. His shirt is tattered and he has one black eye. He smells of Fosters, as a matter of fact he is holding an oil can. When someone asks him what happened, he tells them of his fight with orange clad roadies. He says "how come all those euskatel riders are such a-holes" Kiwipat just shakes his head at his fellow countryman.

---

----------------------------------------------------
Striving to have sex more than 66 times per year

Football Mom jumped up on a table to send a strong verbal reminder re. not to forget the ice and PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY began to play-- unable to contain herself she begins to dance the bump alone on the table--- Francois appears from the corner of the room and joins her for a table dance-- but on the first "bump" his shoulder is dislocated and he falls to the floor. AndyPants and her two babes in arm jump up to dance the bump with Football Mom--Everyone joins in until the Barry Manilow ballad MANDY is played-- at Record 10's request.......

Devashish paul is going around to everyone making sure they entered their virtual points correctly. He has scored well over 2000 points, and is hell bent on beating everyone.

Gary Tinley walks in though, and the crowd goes silent. for he is so tall and thin, plus looks a little more crazy than usual. Devashish Paul fears he may be beat...

Look up in the sky. It's a bird, No it's a plane. Wait, No it is Santa. It's not Santa, but it is Mr. Chin, who seems like Santa, and he has a couple good deals on some bikes for the boys and girls who have been reading the forum for a while.

kittycat freaks at the man who's supposedly garytingley, as when he turns sideway you literally can not see him he's so thin, kind if like flat stanley. She rushes to the kitchen and brings him back a full plate of her yummy food and tells him he needs to eat.

"Francois appears from the corner of the room and joins her for a table dance-- but on the first "bump" his shoulder is dislocated and he falls to the floor." Francois I love you but this is FUNNY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A surprise visitor arrives at the slowtwitch Christmas party. It is none other than the former forum regular, the modern retro grouch, and the self-taught amateur engineer and carbon fiber fabricator, bunnyman.

bunnyman brings in his new carbon fiber Christmas tree. Everyone gasps as he mounts it upside down, especially given the poor track record of some of the bunnyman institute creations. The integrated lightshow surprises many, as does the co-molded and bonded tree base goes against bunnyman's controversial views on what he usually calls a "franken tree". bunnyman argues that it is not bad, and it does, infact create a straighter, more consistant tree.

The women at the party find him surprisingly good looking after seeing him in his new buzz cut. People are surprised that he cut off the mullet. Kittycat admires the prickly, yet smooth nature of bunnyman's new coiff. bunnyman and kittycat are separated by mrs. bunnyman, who has a surprisingly jealous nature. Kittycat is surprised that mrs. bunnyman grunts.

bunnyman discusses integrated headsets with Gerard, and whether or not there is merit in FIST with Empfield. randallt argues with bunnyman over lack of bunnyman's "real" engineering experience, yet randallt can't believe that bunnyman's upside-down carbon fibre Christmas tree is actually standing up.

Fredly tries and taunts bunnyman about his semingly curmudgeon views on UCI bike rules. But Fredly and bunnyman surprisingly get along as bunnyman smoothes over things with his affable manner and endless charm.

Meanwhile, I argue with Gerard as to why anyone needs any stinkin' aerodynamics. And why in the hell don't you Cervelo guys make anymore steel frames? What about a nice lugged Cervelo? No, I ain't talking about the 2.5!!!!

When I bring in my old Cinelli Corsa in Moteni orange, rather than get the ooohing and awwww-ing over such a pristine piece of equipment, I am instead greeted with such comments as my "seat is too high". I am crushed, as I am very proud of my steed.

I leave quietly, clutching my beloved Cinelli to my bosom.

---

Call me Big Dick

May I offer anyone some holiday Guinness?

Jago, who doesn't know anybody, but has been lurking on this forum since May, has once again slipped in unoticed, and is chillin out on the corner couch, slugging on a jug of Strawberry Ripple, and dreaming of they day he will post a sub-10hour IM.

---

Jago
"Slow... but mellow"

Hurricane Bob is teaching a Spin Class in the basement. Choobakky tries to reinact his famous "Shit hitting the fan" story. Allan, TriBriGuy, the_wenger, and attybiker, who were all doing their own workouts and ignoring the instructor, laugh so hard that they crash their Spin Bikes. FasterthanTIM takes over instructing and the men have to go out to the hot tub to soak their bruises.

Foofighterfan shows up with games to bring life back to the party. Twister is immediately taken to the Lavender Room and Cranium ends up by the bar and everyone doing Gatorade-Jello shots everytime the phrase "Your Seat is too High" is said. SnackAttack is overseeing the Dirty Secrets Truth or Dare in the den.

DougStern is giving swim stroke advice to Marisol in the hot tub. Holdencain shows everyone pictures of his garage converted to Infinite Pool, saying his is bigger. Did I just see a 3' 2" blond midget with a mask and snorkle jump in the hot tub yelling something in French?

Slowman just gave Support Crew a new, red scooter with titanium parts, carbon wheels, Italian leather seat, and aero basket on the front.

Dr. Tom Evans is coming through the front door with a tank of nitrious oxide and a box of balloons. Things could get really jiggy now.

---

______________________________
Have you hugged Your Mom today?

Things are really heating up at the christmas party.

Fleck has challenged Dev Paul to a X-country ski race. Fleck claims that his single sport overload on X-country skiing for the last few years gives him a distinct advantage over Dev Paul. Dev Paul says Fleck is destined to positive split the race so be sure to go out fast enough.


Tibbs is back again. He is with MJuric in the classroom getting a spelling class from mmrocker. She is showing them the proper spelling of such words as "the not teh" "their not thier" and so on. Many ST'ers should attend this class.

Hairy Legs has arrived with Lava Java for everyone. Many people are in awe over this tri-stud and his abilities, yet question him for his famous non-helmet shot in the newspaper. Tri_yoda tells all the helmet nazis to shut up. He doesn't care what they think, and he will take his helmet off if he likes. This is a free country.

---

----------------------------------------------------
Striving to have sex more than 66 times per year

a strange bald man has come to the door, Tibbs lets him in. Football Mom sees the strange man, but doesn't recognize him. So, she says, "what's the secret password?" to which he answers, "you rawk?". "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" she screams, and tosses the stranger out by the back of the shirt.

Witnesses later inform her of the stranger's identity. Turns out it was TNO's much villified Craig Sullivan. All the women shudder.

So, TNO'ers are allowed? Cool. It'll be that much more phucking phun.

Remember, though, that over at TNO we only drink tea, never anything stronger. We like to sit in the corner, in our rocking chairs, and knit and talk about the soap operas. No cussing allowed -- so potty mouth kittycat has to stay away from our sewing circle.