We share a dorm room. There is not much space in it. Last week, he didn't have a car (he had a motorcycle), so her reason was "well it's too cold to send him home late." (My responses of "then send him home EARLIER or WEAR A WINTER JACKED did no good). He got his car back. Last night, she spent the night at his place. It was fantastic: I was up at 3:30 am, could turn the light on!!! and get some homework done (I'm the anti-college student... I work early AM, not late at night).
Tonight they came back and I nicely pulled her aside and asked, "is Ryan planning on spending the night?"
"Yeah. I have six am practice."
"Could he not, please? I am tired of having him here all the time. I don't sleep well while you two whisper and make loud kissing noises, and that's not fair to me. This is my space too."
She gave me this whole thing about how she's having "such a hard time right now" and "he's the only person I have."
Uh-huh. And getting to cuddle with someone all night is going to solve alllllll of those problems. (I bit my tongue but I SO wanted to say that).
She was all mad at me... I told her quite simply, "the rule on overnight guests is no more than 2 nights in a row" (I pulled that off the top of my head, I'm going to have to find the contract we signed, but she didn't question it). I told her I don't care what she does when I am not here (I'm on the island on the weekends and usually at least 1 weeknight).
But I, apparently, am being unreasonable and unfair for not letting him stay over. I think she hates me now: which is a good thing, because she's an extrovert and very prone to drama, which means she needs SOMEONE to cling to and talk to... which has been Ryan. If not him, I have to deal with her. If she is not speaking to me, I get a quiet room, quiet quiet quiet.
When she got mad, at first I got all upset. But I think this setting boundaries thing feels good...
maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD