In Reply To:
This is going to sound bitchy and extreme, but... you don't respect her and you probably aren't a good match. She is in a bad place in her life and needs to grow and it's likely that you will be unable to help her grow. If you don't believe in her now, it will only get worse and your resentment will grow. There is a difference between supporting someone you believe in and financially supporting someone who doesn't have their shit together. I know, I dated someone who struggled to find themselves but I believed in him, even at the lowest point. I always respected him and thought he was capable of great success. This wasn't the case with other men. Now we are married and things are working out great, we both have fulfilling lives and we feel fortunate.
Best wishes to you, and to her, this is not an easy situation to be in.
Please, what is with this whole "help me grow" b.s.? She's a 31 year old woman who is being financially supported, grow the hell up, that's 90% of the problem in the US, do it for me, I don't want to accept the responsibility of an adult. Poll 100 women and see how many wouldn't love to be a "kept" woman.
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I'm not a complete idiot, some of the parts are missing.