Interesting thread. And food for thought.

Was on a group ride last night with a fella that is currently training for IMLP as his first IM and he was voicing some of these sentiments to me as we were riding. His job is fairly demanding and he has two young pre school kids and a new baby. He's been trying to do the 5:00 AM early morning thing while the family is still sleeping but then feels totally bagged in the afternoons at work. His biggest complaint is that he's not really enjoying the workouts since they force him to miss many of the regular group rides and shorter sprint races that he realy enjoys. Also the cost - hoteling it with the entire family in LP for four or five days this summer and the entry fee. That pretty well blows the family summer vacation budget. He's already decided that this IM will be his last.

It seems obvious that IM isn't for everybody.

Fleck, that's a great observation and insightful story. Particulalry the concept of balance. Tri has to fit in or its not worth the costs. Sometimes it takes more rather than less time and effort, but the pendulum has to swing back eventually in order for things to stay on track in other areas, IMO.

I've only done one IM, but have years of tri, cycling and competitive swimming long before that. I've long been used to logging hours and miles of one variety or another. However, I've now got small kids (7 and 5), and the older they become, the harder it is to contemplate another IM. I actually found it easier to train when thei mother was the only one asking me why the he11 I needed to do a 5 hour ride; much harder to resist the 5 yo asking 'Why does Daddy work all week and then ride his bike all weekend and not take us along?' (Does Mom put him up to it?)

I do not have IM regrets per se, but an IM finish does have a price if you have a family -- and it extends beyond the $ you spend getting to and at the race. .

Let's face it, IM is a hard day for a family as a spectator: many kids can be too small to enjoy it much, it can be hot, boring, etc. and at least for me, I was finishing pretty close to bed-time (1930 for them). Older kids (who are too young to race) also get pretty bored or just don't want to be there; I have seen a lot of that with other families. And that's not to mention all the training time. Even when you get up early, etc., its not like most of us are ready to go play soccer or t-ball after a 6+ hr ride ot 2+ hr run. I was most often either gone or asleep for a good part of the weekend and gone to workout (and then to the office) before my kids got up for a good stretch of IM build -- and I was only doing 12-15 hour weeks at the end of build. I believe there exists a high potential for familial resentment over this long training cycle that culminates on race day.

My primary goals in LP were (1) to finish uninjured, and stay (2) married and (3) employed in the process -- and if I finished in < 13 hrs, then all the better. Happy to say that things worked out on (1), (2) and (3). Though the clock was past 13:00, it was still before sundown at LP and I was happy w/ that. Thought I had done OK with the balance until the next day.

Within 12 hours of finishing at LP, my family sat me down and basically made very clear that my IM training had been very hard on them and they sure hoped I would not do another in 2005, and would bear them in mind a little more before I signed up for the next one, in general, whenever that was. I was floored. My family has always been very supportive of training and racing, for 5 years of sprints and olys and 3x 1/2IMs. But IM was somehow different in quality and/or quantity in terms of their perception of how it impacted them.

I've backed off IM for this year (I am not as stupid as I look, I guess), but have not given up on another. I will be smarter about training and will pick either (a) one that is close by; or (b) if not close by, then a great vacation destination (NZ, EU? since HI is not likely for me in this life).

It seems to me that the key is to understand the tradeoffs you're making when you pull the trigger on am IM entry and what those tradeoffs will cost you. If you do that, you have less chance of having some of the downside experiences related in some of the posts on the this thread.

I was thinking of this exact article Kittycat is referring as I read slownomo's post. I couldn't agree more with it. My second marathon was a month before my first Ironman. I remember crossing the finish line with a feeling of...nothing. Absolutely nothing. I paid $100 for a training run. At least I got a medal and T-shirt. ;)

You do sound a bit burned out. It gets me psyched to talk to runners or beginning triathletes. It's an ego stroke. Hearing "Wow, you did an Ironman? That's great!" or something like it always makes me train a bit harder. Watch old Kona footage...that gets me psyched as well. At least that can get you through until race day. Do CDA and then focus on other things.

Good luck!

Watch old Kona footage...that gets me psyched as well. At least that can get you through until race day. Do CDA and then focus on other things.


You took the words right out of my keyboard...watching the rebroadcast of IMH the other day, I couldn't help but get those feelings of the last 400 meters again...the chills...some of the emotion... It seems to me there is a group of people that don't feel like they are "true triathletes" if they don't do an IM; just a theory, but it further seems as though these are the people that have the issues with "I don't feel anything when I finish"...

You're doing them for the wrong reasons, then. Yeah, the training for them is incredibly time consuming, kids or not---try working a 60+ hour week, plus commuting, and then fit training into what's left of the day. Not an easy trick, but if you're doing the race for the right reasons, it will work and you won't get burned to the point of thinking that you're essentially throwing your life away.

It's a tough call---my sister made a comment to my girlfriend a month or so ago along the same lines as some of the other family comments noted here---to wit, "I think I've had my lifetime fill of watching him do triathlons, marathons, etc...." Well, guess what, I'm not doing them for your entertainment, sis. Callous as that may sound, I do this stuff because I enjoy it.

Most everyone will reach a point somewhere in the midst of training for one of these where they wonder why the f*** are we doing this? Why get up at 4:xx am to get the training in? Why pass up the night out partying because I've got a long training day tomorrow?

For me, I harken back to the feelings of the last 1/4 mile of the race. There's not many things, IMVHO, that can compare to that, regardless of the fact that in an IM I'm closer to the back than the front of the pack. That's why I do the real long stuff...the feeling of a pretty amazing accomplishment, and I do what I can to include those that are important in my life in the whole deal. For the most part it works.

I doubt anyone has ever been on their deathbed and said "if only I hadn't done that 2nd Ironman..." It sounds to me like you are making an excuse for not training as hard as you could. When I sign up for a race, I never question the decision. I prepare for the race and do the best I can. Some people work 65 hours a week at an accounting firm, I choose to work 40 hours and train 25. The only remorse you are going to have is when you post a crap time because you sat around wondering what you were doing. Put this out of your head and go do the best you can.

>>Have any of you Ironman vets had thoughts sometimes that the many hours you've invested training could have been better spent?<<

Probably a better question is how many people would have a lot more time if they gave up internet/email?

clm

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

No two races will EVER be the same. You aren't going to feel that rush, you've been there already, you've experienced it. Don't set yourself up for something you aren't going to feel. Firsts only happen once. Also don't assume because you've done it once it is easy to do again.

For me, Second IM was just evil in my head, hated the day. No way did I train enough, I was still burnt from the first one, which made for an even worse race. Ironically, it was the single worst time for an IM (on the clock) and in the long run one of my favorite events. Crossing the finish line was NOT magical, only the first Iron was ever magical. I then asked what next?

It wasn't until I finished a distance that I was told was 'impossible' that I had 'IM remorse' or as I would like to refer to it as...my deep dark post race depression --It had to be a depression it couldn't have possibly been anything else, although any Professional I talked to, just thought I was in need of some sleep. Spending 2 months on a couch evaluating my life and deciding where did I slip up and what did I really care about for my future, what is the most important thing, that is what got me out of the 'remorse'. I never allowed myself to relish in what I accomplished, I didn't even want to talk to others about it, my last race changed who I am as a person, it peeled away layers I didn't even know existed. I placed the experience on a shelf to not be touched for awhile, tonight was the first time I even pointed to the stock pile in the corner and told the contractor guy to be careful about the cups, trophies, ect for some of them I had to run for a day or two or 14. Which we laughed about because I was holding keys in the cups, so I guess they served their purpose. Remorse? No. IMs/triathlons/ultras whatever the word is--is a part of my life. A SMALL part of my life. Sadly first word out of people that know me ask me when is my next race? To which I happily reply, everyday of my life, then I switch the focus to the complete remodeling of my house and the really cool slate I just picked up :-)

Triathlons are an outlet of self expression. They are my vacations, it is my hobby of choice. However, if it means going training or going dancing, after last season and taking things WAY too serious, I am putting on my skirt and heels and going to the dance floor. Ironically, back when the hot leg post was up, I was sitting in my skirt taking off my dance shoes and sliding on my bike shoes, that kind of summed up my life for me. Triathlons are just another way I keep my heart strong. I don't see 'IMs', I see a retreat with my 'family members' and a celebration of life, no way is THAT remorse.

My 'depression' -- I just REALLY needed to go out on my bike and feel the wind on my legs, feel the water swoosh over my lower back as I roll in the pool and to stop and pet the dogs on the trail. Before that, I just needed to sleep, I needed to revamp my body and give the mind a break. It's called down time and if you don't take the right time between events, you will never feel right, and just be a product in motion, instead of a being alive. I am training on bare minimum and have never felt happier.

I guess what I am trying to articulate...IM is JUST numbers --nothing magical, just numbers. You go as far as they tell you then you move onto the next event and repeat until they tell you to stop. What you let happen between the gun going off and the finish line either makes your day enjoyable or the most miserable experience of your life. Get strong now and if that includes backing off, then take that mental break, but don't set yourself up for failure just because you aren't in the same unknown territory as you were for that first. Find your balance and make it happen, IM is just a celebration of hardwork. You will do beautifully if you can get your head in the game, and sometimes that requires sleeping.

I don't know about "remorse" but I definitely have burnout. I did my first Im at IMUSA last year. 10 days later I got engaged. 5 months before the IM I lost my job. Pretty eventful year.

This year I am lacking in motivation to get on the bike, in the pool or to lace up the running shoes. I have other priorities. Getting married in August. Have become certified as a personal trainer and am attending medical massage school. So I am starting all over in a new career at the age of 44.

We have discussed our plans and I am planning on doing IMMOO in 06 with, hopefully, a child to follow a few months later. So I know that 06 is my last chance for an Im as I wil be the child care provider in our household.

I am hoping that January 2006 brings back the fire to train with the goal of crossing the line as a motivator. This year I am doing nothing but sprints and Intl and those can be done with minimal training. I am not now nor never have been better than a MOP'er and am happy with that as I don't race for results rather for the camaraderie(sp).

Keep un informed as to how your training is progressing as I am curious if I will be able "to turn it back on" next year when I have that goal of doing 140.6 again.

Ironman is time consuming and selfish but... this winter I overheard my 7 year old son say to his friend that when he grows up he wants to marry a girl who "does something cool like his mom (me!) when she did the Ironman" .

For the past two years, the kids in my daughter's class (fifth grade now) have asked me to come in to school to tell them about triathlons. I work with 6th graders and the kids ask me all the time about my races and my training.

As mother's day approachs, I would love to think that my training has a positive influence on my kids in some small way.

This is a great discussion.

To the original post by slownomo, I will be at IM Idaho as well but this will be my fifth IM. To answer your question, 'could IM training time have been better spent?" my answer would be no.

It's hard to encapsulate every aspect of IM - training, commitment, family, goals, expense, ect - but over the past five years I've boiled it down to perspective. It's an continously evolving lifestyle that is inherently unique for each individual. You need to be honest with yourself about what you want to get out of the experience and then put in the appropriate effort for that desired result.

When I started racing six years ago I'd just met my wife and triathlon was something unique that we did as a team - I would race, and she would attend to route me on. Over those years I can count on one hand the number of races she didn't attend. In this respect I'm very fortuntate, and extremely luckly, to have an understanding and supportive spouse.

You're right, the feeling of accomplishment after finishing your first IM is unique, but there's a lot more to IM than finishing one race. When I signed up for my first IM I had a couple goals in mind; I wanted to do five different races and I wanted to improve my times each year. Now, here we are, heading to Coeur d'Alene for number five and with the exception IM Austria last year where (perspective) we treated the race secondarily to traveling Europe for the first time I've been able to reach these goals while balancing the IM lifestlye with other commitments - family and work.

That's MY story...we'll see what the future brings for IM's since we'll be six months pregnant at IM Idaho and ready to start a family!

Cheers....dietrying

I truly appreciate all the thoughtful responses - they have been very helpful for providing some insight into some of the negative thoughts I've been having! Here are some ideas I have about it now:

1. At this point in the training (two months to go to IM), I'm pretty fatigued overall and it's easy to let negative thoughts creep in. In all endeavers there are ups and downs.

2. It is unrealistic to expect to have the exact same feelings the second time around. Before or after the event. I should appreciate #2 on it's own merit.

3. I'm an excercise junkie to begin with and wouldn't be happy not doing some level of training anyway. It's the extra 8 hours or more per week required at this stage for racing an Ironman that makes it hard to do much else, with work and other responsibilities. So it's just a fact that commiting to do the Ironman means that other projects I may otherwise be doing with that time will just have to wait.

4. Most importantly, I need to be able to refocus on the goal and give it my best. Regret for not giving it my all because of doubts would really make me lament the time spent! And being able to follow through to the best of my ability despite some bad attitude along the way will help to make me more effective in all areas of my life.

Thanks again for getting me back on track!

Reading through this thread, I am struck by the general acceptance of ironman training as selfish. I don't agree other than to say that anything can be done to the exclusion of family and friends.

In the land of obsessive compulsive activities I just don't see 10-15 or even 20 hours a week as competitive. Any musicians here? Who has played a guitar until the fingers bleed? or wind instruments until your lips are numb? How about just pounding out the hours at work? I guarantee that I can and have spent significantly longer times grinding out work, after hours, than I have on a bike.

I think the sport self selects for those who will devote time to their activities. Someone on the forum uses a great tag line "Obsessive is what the lazy call the dedicated" I think there is truth in that.

As for the time being better spent on other hobbies, why the value judgment? Does the world need another part time violinist? or interpreter? or, for that matter, ironman? The answer is no. But all of those activities will enrich your life in different ways. It's your choice, not a choice of which is "better".

I have used tri's for a family event to try and get my kids exercise.

I would do the race as an individual, and my wife and two kids would do relays. Now, as time went on, and my kids went off to college, my wife has learned to ride a bike, and is even learning to swim for the first time in her 49year life. She did her first Tri this year at UC davis where she could swim in the pool. She was next to last, but, she finished!!! I was VERY proud of here. She goes to EVERY race with me, takes video and cheers me on.

I signed up for the nationals and my wife and I are taking my parents with us. We are now planning a 2 weeks tour of the US in the motor home as we go to KC. Will I be able to do the race? Will I be able to do well? Who cares, doing a trip with this crew will be the time of my life!!



Dave

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

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Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

That was a great reply Tri N OC, couldn't agree more. I too am surprised with the general acceptance of ironman training as selfish. Maybe the ones making those statements have had some issues or problems but it should not be generalized that everyone will have them. I've done 5 Ironmans in the past, great wife and kids, still spend more time with them than most guys I know and they will tell you straight up that they love my lifestyle and are proud to have a husband/father that participates in Ironman triathlons. I've trained with various groups/people and I've seen a few struggle with spouces/family commitments. 9 out of 10 times it's more of a jealousy problem than anything else. They won't admit to it but that is usually the case.

WOW! This may be the best and most honest thread I have ever seen. I have had these guilty thoughts about the selfishness of of triathlon since I started three years ago. It is selfish. No doubt. Those of you who say it is not, are kidding yourselves. It started as something that was all about me. But over three years it has turned into a lifestyle for my wife, and 4 kids. Our lives are healthier. We are fitter. We eat better. We travel to races together. My 8 year old will do a youth tri this year. My kids now swim competitively. It is a part of our life. I think its all about where you take it and maintaining a balance that is healthy for all. Being selfish every once in a while is OK. It makes you that much better - refreshed, renewed, positive, patient, etc. because you are happier with yourself and that makes you a better husband, father, etc. I truly believe it.