I guess I am. I let my daughter watch too many shows that a 7-year old shouldn't watch . . . cop shows, lawyer shows, doctor shows, all of which have far too many violent and sexual scenes. We're pretty good about talking through anything that is too graphic . . . usually with an explanation of how it's all acting, not real, etc., but I sometimes wonder how much of that really sinks in. So far, she's remained a pretty grounded kid, and she's still far more "innocent" than her classmates with older siblings.

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''The enemy isn't conservatism. The enemy isn't liberalism. The enemy is bulls**t.''

—Lars-Erik Nelson

My kid like to open and take a swig of beer when he grabs one for me. I don’t discourage it forcefully enough.

We let our oldest (the 10 year old) watch things waaayy too early. Then we had another boy 3.5 years later and he watches all the same stuff the older one does, which I guess is even worse.

The little one was watching Jurassic Park, and later Jurassic World, before kindergarten. Never had any nightmare issues that we can tell.

Both are exposed to way too much TV violence, mostly Marvel-type stuff, and video games like Fortnite.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

I've given both of my boys sips of beer. Neither cares for it.

The other day my oldest turned his nose up at a glass of cheap OJ. "Smells like beer, dad." It actually smelled just like some IPAs I keep around the house.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

I lose my temper with my kids way too easily. I am working on it. But man, it drives me nuts that I have to ask my 7 year old 3-5 times to do anything.

"Nathan, can you go brush your teeth and get ready to go?
2 minutes later
"Did you brush your teeth?"
"No, I am going"
2 minutes later... still in front of the TV
Grabs remote and turns it off.
"GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GET READY!!! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK 3 TIMES?"

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

I must be bc I have a video of my now 9year old girl dancing to Jay-Z when she was 2 or so.
She listens to whatever music I listen to, she is smart enough to know not to repeat the words she shouldn't and when she hears a new one or wants to know why something is not appropriate we talk about it.
I am pretty careful about what she watches only bc I don't want some scary shit to scare her at night but for the life of me I can't get her to watch a James Bond! She says they're too violent but she's never even seen one. Maybe encouraging her to watch a violent, misogynistic (and in the early days, racist) character does indeed make me a bad dad.

The list is long....

I send my kids to daycare.

They have too much screen time and the 7 year old has seen all the Marvel movies.

I let them swear (but never "at" anyone).

I let them eat treats before meals.

I forgot about Jurassic World - my son was obsessed with it (and saw it in the theatre with his dad).

I was the bad parent because, when my youngest was younger (6 to 10), I'd let her watch more mature shows on tv so long as there wasn't intense or graphic violence. So shows like South Park, Curb your Enthusiasm, etc. Or more like I wouldn't turn the shows off just because she was in the room -- most of the time, she wasn't paying that much attention.

But I'd always turn it off it there was graphic or intense and inappropriate, in my opinion, violence. Or if it was too scary.

My wife was the opposite. She'd be upset if there was something sexual on and my daughter was in the room, but wouldn't hesitate to keep the violent or scary shows going.

I also swear a lot.

Thing is, I think the kid's turning out ok. She's learning not to be offended by certain language, etc., but also to recognize that for her, there's a time and place. I have a t-shirt that says, "Fuck Arsenal," and she's smart enough to know that Arsenal is the only offensive word on that shirt.

+1k

You've trained them to expect that you'll ask them 3x to do anything, and so to not take you seriously the first time.

The solution is pretty simple:

1) Don't repeat requests.

2) Stand there (not angrily) and make sure they comply with your first instruction; help them if necessary.

3) Praise them for doing what you asked.

If you're consistent with this, you should be able to break the old habit in a few weeks.

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"100% of the people who confuse correlation and causation end up dying."

It's because you Canadians always sound so damn pleasant, like you're making a mere suggestion that it might be a nice thing if you possibly would consider brushing your teeth but definitely not mandating it but if you think you'd consider it you might find it enjoyable before you go to bed totally at your leisure and without any hurry whatsoever, eh?

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

My "kids" are 29 and 32, both off on successful lives on their own. A few years ago at a wedding my son made the comment that we had been "free range" parents and it seemed to work where other styles didn't. The people they were talking to had been carefully supervised for a good portion of their lives - who they hung out with, curfews, bed time requirements, church every Sunday, things like that. My wife and I just taught the kids right and wrong and turned them loose at a young age.

After all the "I can't believe that" and "that's horrible parenting" comments he pointed out that...

They didn't do drugs or smoke, there were no grand children in the picture, they had both finished school and college with no problems, and they were both out on their own in secure jobs and healthy relationships - something that many in that group could not claim. They even still get along with us.

Call it luck if you want, but your example of how you live life means far more than your words, and the music you listen to means absolutely nothing, although my son does like that death metal shit that I can't stand. I would much rather listen to 70's on 7 or Hair Nation.

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"...the street finds its own uses for things"

I do shots with and get tattoos with my son.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

That's about as good a job as a parent can do. Well done.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

Not that you give a damn about my opinion on tats, but it went up several notches when you described your WWII arm in the other thread. Pretty cool!

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"100% of the people who confuse correlation and causation end up dying."

My son and I talk about his first tattoo. That conversation started at age 9.

No shots, though. That's a bit much for a 10 year-old. We're a little old fashioned in that regard. We just drink Old Fashioneds.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

I let my son watch Alien and Aliens at age 8.
Until age 14 he slept with the corner of the duvet in his mouth so they won't lay eggs in him.

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Remember - It's important to be comfortable in your own skin... because it turns out society frowns on wearing other people's

So do I. Is that wrong?

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

Yours look good.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

I guess I qualify. We have Amazon music and you can listen to everything. In 1969 I would blast a song I heard from the Woodstock album. "Give me an F"...

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"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

Pffft... I went all in.

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

I just fitted my Slim with a passenger seat so I can ride him in on his last day of 4th grade. If the bike had speakers I'd definitely be blasting some radio-edited Eminem.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

Just put the dog's training shock collar on him. After a while you won't even need batteries in the collar, all you have to do is hold up the controller and say, "I said NOW."

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I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.

My son has always listened to Liquid Metal on SiriusXm while driving with me, he's never really shown a proclivity towards any genre of music, except a brief dub-step phase, thankfully passed.

I do and am willing to let my kids (15 and 16) watch anything on TV or movie they want to see, with me or me and the wife. The wife is far more restrained in this regard. For example my 15 y/o son and I watch the new Hellboy a while back. He thought it was great seeing an R-rate movie with dad.

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

I like it. But, I used to get really funny looks from people when I had my son out in public with his collar on... ;-)

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"100% of the people who confuse correlation and causation end up dying."

Just like training a dog.

I find a squirt bottle effective when he gets into stuff he’s not supposed to. But yeah, same deal, we get a lot of funny looks out in public.

Did Michael W Smith get pissed at his brother George for taking credit?

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TEAM HD
Each day is what you make of it so make it the best day possible.

Trust me, this changes.

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TEAM HD
Each day is what you make of it so make it the best day possible.

We listen to hardcore rap together.

I brought him and his friend to see The Brothers Grimsby (mistake)

I brought him to see Sausage Party (mistake)

I generally have not a fucking clue how to be a father.

I laugh about and tacitly support his hobby of sneaking into hotels to swim in their pools (among other mischievous things I allow him to do).

I cuss way too much.

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

Last weekend I took the kids in the hot tub and listened to a beach themed playlist while we played. "Sex on the Beach" was in this list and evidently my 4 year old girl's mind has become a steal trap for lyrics lately.

Later as mom took the kids out to the park and run errands my daughter would randomly start belting out "I wanna have sex on the beach" in the various public locations.

I was told later that evening in no uncertain terms that I'm not allowed to play that song with her in audible range.

...and I'm a bad parent because I find this hilarious.

My son has been taking sips of my beer since he was about five; he is now 14. My daughter refuses all my offers of sips, she is 11. She says she's not a "hoser"! So Canadian!

Not as much as Tito W. Smith did for getting none of the writing credits.

Damn. He was my first concert. You'd think I'd remember his name. I actually liked him quite a bit.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

I had a 12 pack of Mikes Hard Lemonade in the garage frig. I have only drank 3 of them but somehow there are only 3 left. My kids are 13 (son) and 11 (daughter). After the initial denial from both children and me saying "I will find out. I ALWAYS find out.", walk away, look in the recycling bin, find the cans, come back "I have already figured it out". My daughter pipes up that is was her. She wanted some lemonade.
I'm not taking it so well........

For some reason, one of my daughters was obsessed with The Wizard of Oz at a very young age. i remember she was still in a high chair when she was watching it. She was a very strong willed child and we just kind of gave in and would let her watch it when she wanted to. So yeah, we were probably bad parents because the Wizard of Oz has some freaky shit in it. She didn't have any nightmares that we're aware of, and she turned into an awesome person.

I am bad because I do not have a tv or video games. I have 10 and 2 year old boys and we play music and go biking rather than tv and video games. It has made him an outcast at school and he can not find ways to relate to other kids. He still calls commercials previews. I took him to see Flatfoot 56 at 6 and Hopefully Jawbreaker and avail this summer. We do listen to a lot of tedashi and NF.
Plus he has not ridden in the car to school. 875 days in a row by bike and counting. Most parents stop and try to put him in their car on the way. They ask him if we own a car and he says yes we have 5.....I am mean.

This is not a back door brag, but a brag. 875 days in a row, and a 10 yo child that has never ridden in a car, and I assume a bus, to school? Not possible here, really. Good for you. You sound like a great dad.

875 days all by bicycle. We live in Western South Dakota. Lots of snow we see 10 below a few times during the winter. When he was in kindergarten he set out with a goal to ride every day of September and it's been going for 5 years. he rides his bike for all practices and other events also. I suppose I should count those. It's two miles to school with about 75 feet of elevation gain

Why are you posting this in the bad parent thread unless it's a brag? We get it, that's impressive. And again, very unusual. I couldn't have biked to school when I was a kid, didn't make my parents bad. Or you a bad parent for "making" your kids bike to school in -10. I'm confused.

I think it has more to do with not having TV or video games in the house. I mean, that's just cruel!

Nah, you and me both. My 4th grader (daughter) and I listen to all sorts but like you I also skip the overly graphic stuff. They know “bad stuff” at that age, so it’s a learning opportunity that they exist but she has to wait to be an adult (or out of my earshot) to say that stuff. Now granted, that’s not ALL we listen to, but it’s WAY more than your average 4th grader for sure.

I never understood why parents train their kids that the first request is to be ignored. Same thing for the kid that stands in line asking mom or dad to buy something, and after 10 requests they give in and buy it.

One of the odd parenting things I never understood. And yes it is easy.
Johnny go brush your teeth now, and if they are not brushed in 5 min there will be no story time (or some other consequence)

Billy I already told you once no, if you ask again there will be xxx consequence.

The hardest part of parenting to me was finding consequences that the kid could understand related to the action or in action they were doing or not doing.

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Just Triing
Triathlete since 9:56:39 AM EST Aug 20, 2006.
Be kind English is my 2nd language. My primary language is Dave it's a unique evolution of English.

Although my kids are not that old (Oldest is 22) we were kind of the same. I know we use to get looks and comments from other parents on our "lack of parenting".

My kids never had a curfew, They would tell me where there were going, and if it got "late" they would usually fire off a text to say when they thought they would be home. Middle kid would even text if the changed and went to someone else's house or out to eat or something, never asked them to.

I had a parenting philosophy of diminishing control, and figured by the time they got to H.S. they were who they were and and changing that was going to be hard. Let them fail early and at a young age, when the consequence's are not has high.

Never told them to do there homework, or study. All three got good grades (2 amazingly so, the last one had a c in freshman year, but finally started getting things together this yr junior yr and got all A's)

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Just Triing
Triathlete since 9:56:39 AM EST Aug 20, 2006.
Be kind English is my 2nd language. My primary language is Dave it's a unique evolution of English.

My biggest regret as a parent...my temper and lack of patience, especially when the kids were younger. They both seemed to have turned out pretty good, but I look back on how I reacted to certain things and cringe.

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Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.

My biggest single one event failure when my kids were little, my middle kid (the most stubborn, always said she will be the most sucessful as an adult, if someone doesn't kill her before she gets there).

Anyhow we did the time out chair, and worked pretty well, except.. one time she decided she wasn't going to stay in the chair the whole time (i don't recall how long the time was ) but she would sit there till the timer go close the end and get up. The rule was you got out before the timer went off, we start the timer over. Well after a few of these rounds she decided she had enough and got up I was frustrated, and tried to get her to sit and anyhow, it ended with me laying across her lap and telling her as soon as she stopped trying to push me off she could get up.. It was easy for me I just played dead weight, and she pushed and pulled trying to get me off FOR 30 min (she was like in the 3 - 5 yr range) not my proudest moment, but from then on, when she had a time out she went there for the time and got up when the alarm went off...

Going to start another thread on the best parenting advice I ever got.. although to late.

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Just Triing
Triathlete since 9:56:39 AM EST Aug 20, 2006.
Be kind English is my 2nd language. My primary language is Dave it's a unique evolution of English.

Im betting there isn't a person on ST that swears more than me.
Just a bad habit Ive developed over many years as a contractor and when conversing with clients, sometimes I really have to be careful as its very easy for me to drop the f-bomb without even knowing,

But my 21 year old daughter has me well and truly beat. She makes me feel uncomfortable with the amount of swearing that comes out of her mouth.
She's going to make a great lawyer :-)