I might qualify as fast... or maybe not but I'll share some tips I have learned.

Timeline
Into Tri's 2004
First HIM 2007
First kiddo 2008
Kept racing HIM's, 1-2 a year
Second kiddo 2010
1-2 HIM's a year
First IM 2013
2 IM's in 2014
1 IM in 2015
Third kid 2016
0 IM's 2016
1 IM 2017
2 IM's planned for 2018

While still getting my race medal mantel filled, I burned some karma with my wife sticking in training and leaving her with kid patrol too often on the weekends.

2017 I figured out a better way to do it.
Pretty much train 7 days a week.
Work week = 4 morning workouts less than an hour. Some creep up to 80 minutes in peak.
Work week = 4 to 5 lunch workouts less than an hour each.
Weekend = long runs in AM starting at 5am.
Weekend = ride starting at 5am, end around 8am to be ready for kids up and activities. Negotiate a 2 to 3 hour block of time to get rest of ride done around kids activities and what my wife wants to do.

Monday mornings are usually off and lunch is a swim = recovery day.

And there is no "off season". I never fall off and jam in training for events. Consistency over time.

I PR my distances every year so far without the need for huge volume of work and monster long days.

Over the winter there's more speed and strength work that changes into volume for race prep.

Motivation and coordination is key.

If you don't communicate with your wife and find a happy balance, mission fail.

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Ryan
http://www.SetThePaceTriathlon.com
http://www.TriathlonTrainingDaddy.com
I got plans - https://www.trainingpeaks.com/...dotcom#trainingplans

I'm an age group below you but have three kids (5, 3, and 1). Training 6-7 days/week mostly indoors and mostly less than 2 hours at a time either early morning or late night. Always make a point to talk to the wife about when it's cool to go off on longer training rides with groups and usually limit it to 2-3 times per month. I also make a point to volunteer days on kid duty so she can feel free to have interests too. Since most training builds I do have 3-4 intense weeks and my average base week is 10-12 hours it isn't too hard to work around. Overall, she's grown pretty cool with the training. It's the random gear showing up in delivery boxes that seems to irk her for some strange reason...

Granted, I have yet to do a full Ironman but for everything up to HIM, and especially short course, this seems to work out pretty well :-) First IM this November so we'll see how much of a hole I'll need to crawl out of after that particular training block. Also, depending on what your definition of fast is, this may not be relevant at all :D

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Blog | Strava

So both of you have been able to just keep training. How do the conversations with the wife go? Did it take a few weeks of reminding her your workout schedule? Is there any resentment over who gets more "workout" time?

The coversation normally goes “hey I’m going for a bike ride”. “Okay how long are you going to be and don’t be stupid.”

I spend less time training due to wanting to spend time with my family, not due to anyone having a problem with it.

I normally get up at 3:45 if I’m feeling okay and work isn’t crazy, I’ll go bike on the trainer. Or I’ll workout when my daughter goes to bed or if it’s nice I’ll just do a ride/run when I get home.

If you are trying to have to justify every workout you need to have a conversation on why it’s important to you. You don’t need 20-30 hours a week to be fast.

The only rocky part was with the newborns and hourly feedings. Not much grace for daddy needing sleep to train and training in the basement and not helping.

Once they get to sleeping through the night, I'm up and done before anyone else wakes up.

Bedtimes are a race to see if I can get the kids down before I pass out. ;) They are down by 8... I'm down by 9. Some may call that lame, but all I was doing was wasting time watching TV anyways. DVR is great and gives me something to watch indoors in the AM workouts.

It took some time for everyone to find their groove and come to terms with how it all will work. It changes hour by hour at times depending on what work duties my wife may have.

I train when I can and if there's a window and people are cool, I get after it.

CONSTANT communication though. If I get the slightest inkling my wife is annoyed, I nip that in the bud and figure something out.

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Ryan
http://www.SetThePaceTriathlon.com
http://www.TriathlonTrainingDaddy.com
I got plans - https://www.trainingpeaks.com/...dotcom#trainingplans

^This.

My wife is just as much into endurance sports as I am. We have a 2yr old and an 8 month old currently.

In both cases, I found a "big" race to train for, and do, while she was pregnant. Get that out of my system per say. Then, once the child was born, I said "Ok, your turn to do something epic since you have been pregnant for the last nine months." She had her best if five Ironmans six months after giving birth! Amazing. And while she was training for her big races, I did smaller events that didn't require a ton of training and was quite content.

Second child was tougher.. because two kids is tougher! Still, she prefers AM workouts and I am lucky enough to have an hour every weekday at lunch. Then, I do long on Saturday and she goes long (bike or run) on Sunday. It generally works.

I will admit that I am not very motivated unless it's outside, in a fun place, having an adventure. I am not one to do a bunch of loops of the neighborhood and/or train indoors. I don't have that kind of discipline or motivation, unfortunately. For those that do, then there really should be no problem. There is ALWAYS an hour or so during the day to get something in if you don't mind using the treadmill in the garage, or trainer in front of the living room.

Sleep can be rough at first, but it really didn't change things for me. I think I went six months getting 4~6hrs a night with our second child.. it was rough. But I still went out and did it.

Never, ever hesitate to give your wife time to herself. Take on the kids as much as you can and let her do her thing. I always volunteer to hold down the fort for the day or evening so she can go out with friends. Do that and it won't make being gone for 2~3hrs on a weekend morning seem so bad.

I did my first full with a 1 year old...maybe not the best of ideas, but I was on parental leave which kind of sort of gave me a pretty flexible schedule for training!

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Ask me how much I love my Kiwami LD Aero Trisuit

7 month old here, first kid for us.

Only do HIM and sprint. Manage average of 10 hours/week.

Get up early, do 1.5 hours per morning = 7.5 hours (Mon-Fri). Then find 2.5 hours over the weekend. Key to me has been giving up midweek evening workouts.

Just one A race a year too. For me it was Galveston so I agreed I could do a 28 day block of 1 hour a night in the build up to that. For the rest of the year though it is morning only workouts.

Outside of build up to big race be flexible on the weekend workout.

Chose races in nice places with hotels literally in the transition and make a trip out of it.

Oh, and never moan you’re tired from getting up early every day.

Dan

^^^I second This.

Yes, you must save up your SAU's (spousal approval units). That takes extra work/communication to be able to do what you want and keep the family balanced.
The fact that you've been able to consistently train and improve speaks volumes to the truth that living an active life as a triathlete is good for your health (and good for your soul)

Good luck!

I was able to get back to tris after a hiatus when my youngest kid started going to pre-school full days. My wife's stress level dropped a fair bit, so I didn't feel like putting a workout in after work was a burden. Weekends are kind of a PITA as I'm on a FOPer training schedule that takes a lot of time, but my kids mostly run around the neighborhood and play with their friends, and my wife accepts my training because I've mostly always been this way. One key I think is that we don't do too many scheduled weekend activities like soccer/t-ball/hockey. My kids just aren't into it, they do other stuff during the week (gymnastics, karate, etc.).

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Dimond Bikes Superfan

Convesrsations are key. For the most part, I can work my training around family time and it doesn’t intrude. Occasionally she’ll be annoyed with constant nightly sessions on the trainer and I just immediately skip the workout if she seems irritated. Anything to show that it’s not as important as family. After all, nobody’s paying the majority of us to do this. If I have a long run or ride that I feel is important I make sure to bring it up to her a few days in advance and clear the schedule with extra room for when it takes longer than planned.

On my end, she knows it’s important to me even though she isn’t into triathlon or endurance herself. A few times, she has joined me in the pain cave for 20-30 minutes on an elliptical but we don’t quibble about who gets to train thankfully :-) Indoor training, while not exciting, really does allow for a lot of flexibility and it’s an investment in equipment that we discussed and she was very onboard with. With an Elite Direto and a healthy amount of Zwift, I feel like my biking has improved more consistently as well.

As everyone said, the key is talking openly with each other about it and what you would like to do and making an effort to show that you can work around what’s important to her as well.

Races are harder but we talk about races to pick and find fun things to do as a family outside of the race. If, like me, you’re leaving her with kids to keep track of on race day, make a huge deal about showing appreciation obviously. A spa gift card is cheaper than most of the gear I buy...

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Blog | Strava

My wife is into sports as well. Though not competitively. Her family is very much into sports. Hence, there is an understanding ...

Our first two kids are twins. I stopped racing for 2 years but kept being active. Afterwards I started racing again but lack of training time AND SLEEP led to only mediocre results. But this was expected. I ramped up my volume. Child #3 arrived. Everything far more relaxed then, I did not step back.

My key advise would be: flexibility and willingness to leave your comfort zone. No strict training plans. And not having other hobbies may help :-)

My big advantage, I work home office on a flexible, project based schedule. And I'm not interested in a corporate career.

* long workouts on Grandma days; high volume blocks regulary; I'm "allowed" to train long on one week end day
* several workouts a day
* getting up early
* loving your smart trainer in the basement and being able to spend some time there
* train smart with a purpose

Main limiter for us is getting in the volume. And I would say the volume is what makes the difference.

When the kids go to college.

I had twins. Underestimated the additional work it takes. Although, you figure it out.

I think the reality is, you have to do 5am workouts, otherwise it is really tough. I’m not a morning person, so 5am would not be all that enjoyable to me.

Initially, the kids had a 7:30pm bedtime. I would work out afterward. My kids are going on 10 now and they have a 8pm bedtime that often turns into 9pm. I would go to the gym and workout, or swim after their bedtime. Honestly, now I don’t have the energy, but I did when the kids were first born. Kids take work, you can’t get around that. The type of work just changes. The amount of activities it seems kids have is insane. Now, soccer practice twice a week and games on weekends. I’m involved in the games and kids involvement. I even filled in for the ref who didn’t show a couple times at games. That was interesting. Lol. Point is, you need to choose what type of parent you want to be. I could show up at practice, drop off the kids, and do a 5 mile run and come back to drive them home. At games, I could drop them off, and go for a bike ride and come back before it’s all over (often they have 2 games back to back). Wed nights they have CCD, then there is cub scouts, and fill in the rest of the school functions. It’s ridiculous. Yet, every parent seems to do it. I grew up differently and my parents were not involved this way, although, I know I would have had a better childhood if they did. So, I do it.

I did IM Madison in 2010 and 2013. IM Louisville in 2016.

It can be done. You won’t be breaking records, you will be in the sport. If you want to maximize your potential, it’s a trade off. Be a parent, or be an athlete who everyone forgets the day after the event.

I would run and put the kids in the Burley trailer. I have daycare at the gym. Now, they go in the pool with me when I swim laps. I swim a bit and then we play in the water. It’s not hardcore workouts like I once did alone. Although, we are a family. It’s not just me. The kids did a triathlon when I did Door County half Ironman. They enjoyed it.

I’m self employed, so I would attempt to adjust my work schedule when I could. Go in earlier, leave earlier and ride before wife gets home. That kind of stuff. Weekends took planning to fit it all in and also so I could do my longer rides.

I should add, I got divorced in 2014. Not because of triathlon, if anything, it helped me not flip out. The kids exposed other problems in the marriage. I use to see the week on/ week off Dads and think they had it made. Nope. It adds other complications to the schedule and now, I actually train less. I’ll use someone else’s remarks they told me once- I enjoy being st home more and I don’t try to ride to escape. ;)

Good luck.

SAU's.... HAHA! I'll have to remember that term next time my wife compliments me. "You can just deposit that into my SAU account".

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Ryan
http://www.SetThePaceTriathlon.com
http://www.TriathlonTrainingDaddy.com
I got plans - https://www.trainingpeaks.com/...dotcom#trainingplans

I was a bike racer when we had our first in 2007, and I did cut back on riding for a couple years, but then switched to tri's, right around the time when we had our second child in 2010...

To summarize, IMHO you don't need to leave the sport at all, you just need to totally adjust your training schedule around your family. Sure, you may not get 20 hour training weeks in, but getting 10 hours in is very possible and enough to at least keep you in good shape.

Don't know what your work schedule is, but if you have a lunch hour, use it. I run or swim or do weights almost every lunch hour (Mon - Fri), so there is 3 - 5 hours training right there depending on how long you get.
Then, embrace the indoor trainer and get yourself out of bed at whatever time needed, 4AM, and do 1 - 3 hour rides. Same idea late at night.

My wife was OK with me going out to group swim practice 1 - 2 times per week in the evening. But keep in mind, I didn't do anything else, no drinking with the buddies, no golf, etc etc, nothing. Which was fine, because I preferred to spend time with the family anyway.

Kids are 7 & 10 now, but its still the same sort of schedule since I don't want to take time away from my kids. When I get home from work and kids want to play, I'm not gonna look at them and say 'sorry daddy has to ride his bike'....lol
But there are other opportunities too....for example, they are both in swim lessons, so I swim in the lanes during their lessons..etc

Thank you and everyone for commenting. It sounds like the general consensus is to keep training albeit at a reduced volume, but keep the right mix of intensity to progress. I half expected this answer as this was my primary game-plan once our son was born. I abandoned this plan for a couple reasons:
1. training wasn't consistent enough to progress - I'd often have 3 good workouts (usually while traveling) then weekends, my schedule would get thrown out in lieu of whatever my wife wants to do.
2. Invisible training isn't so invisible - the usual strategy of waking up earlier than everyone or stayin up later was thwarted by my wife. She would give me a hard time cuz she couldn't quite fall back asleep after I awoke at 4 or 5am on the weekends. Alternatively, she wanted me to go to bed at the same time as her each night. So the only time I get workouts in on the weekends are if she gives me an hour on the trainer or i take the little man for a run in the stroller.

I guess i'll just keep at it and stay fit until life gets less busy.

Maybe she would let you sleep in a different room once a week so you could get up for a 2-3 hour ride? :)

Tell her thats whats gonna happen anyway once the kids decide they are sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed....lol

Agreed with everyone else above.

I have a 4yo and 2yo.

For me, I just gave up anything long distance. No HIM, no marathons, mostly just sprints and olympics.
It just wasn't fair to my wife and kids to disappear for 5 or 6 hours and then be wasted for the rest of the day.

I'm also a night owl, so most of my runs are done at 9p after the kids go to bed. Or on the trainer.
My kids pretty consistently get up around 6a, wife leaves for work around that time too. 4am just ain't happening in this house. I'm lucky enough to have a pool at work. Swim on lunch.

On the weekends, I can usually get a long ride on Saturday at nap time, long run on Sunday at nap time.
Sometimes nap time doesn't happen, so I bail. It's not the end of the world.

Something to keep in mind that you may have not had the pleasure of dealing with yet...
Kids are germ infested carrier monkeys.
Especially if you send your kid to day care. Double especially if you have 2. Triple especially if your wife works as a teacher at said daycare. Not sending them to daycare won't help, because they'll bring it all home when they start school anyway.
Be hyper vigilant during cold and flu season. You are still going to get sick. It's inevitable. My children think my shirt's sole function is to wipe their noses. You will get sneezed on, slobbered on, puked on, etc...
This has impacted my training more than anything else. Those commercials where the dad opens the kid's door and asks for a sick day aren't funny in my house. They're too true. You have to suck it up and deal, hope you and your partner aren't both sick at the same time, and make it through. And kid viruses are nasty. What your little one might shake off in a day or two seems to stick with adults for a month. God help you if one of them brings home RSV or strep or whatever awful URI went around this winter.

All that to say, everything is going to change for you. It probably already has.

Triathlon is a hobby. You may be good at it, but it's still a hobby.

You are now responsible for the care of a new person. One that will require more attention and energy than any book or forum could prepare you for. Things are going to pop up, sh!+s gonna happen.
Train on the days you can, deal with life on the days life needs to be dealt with.
Be grateful you have a new, healthy (hopefully) family and enjoy it.
Triathlon still be there when yours and my kids get older, but they're only babies once. Trust me, it goes by quick.

ASAP. Life goes fast. The kids grow up fast. Bring them along.

Train with the kids. Buy a baby jogger, a Burley wagon, or some other "come along" piece of equipment.

Score big race points by training with kids at peak break times like when a spouse wants to sleep in on Sunday morning. Or take the kid on a pre-dawn jog when they wake up at 5am and your spouse wants or needs a couple of more hours of sleep time and the kids not having any of that.

These types of workouts built up strength and bike handling skills.

Take them with you on errands after workouts as trade-offs for your own longer or faster workouts going solo.

When traveling to the grandparents, pack up the car with an empty bike rack. Jump on the bike and head out. Have spouse pick you up between point A & B. Relieve the driver.

As the kids age up, bring them along a volunteers. Gets them some independence early on and you're helping out the RD too. This is real parenting.

There’s a lot of good advice here. Communicating and setting expectations with my wife has been critical. We have a 10 month old and I’m training for 1 HIM and 1 Full this year. I’d say once the kid reached 6 months and we had a good routine (especially at night, 7pm bed time allows for most of my 60 to 120 minute trainer sessions 2 to 3 times a week and enough time with the wife to keep her happy) things became easier.

I ALWAYS volunteer to move my training blocks around things she wants to do and actively push her to find time for herself and her friends away from the kid. This has two huge benefits –
1. She comes home from these events happy and refreshed and more willing to take the kid for 2 to 4 hours on a Sunday morning since she got to have drinks with the friends on Saturday night!
2. And this is the real winner for me, she feels indebted to me and grateful that I’m always willing and flexible to make sure she gets her time which usually means I get 2 to 3 hours of return for every 1 hour I give her. For some reason she values her free time so much that she thinks I should get more for my training and usually reminds me she’s happy to take the kid on Sunday morning and that I can go out for a long ride with friends. Once I figured this out I gladly sacrificed a training block for her knowing I’d get a guilt free long run/ride on the weekends and she’d be happy with it.

Couple of other things that have really helped –
- - Lunch time work outs. I set expectations with my boss (who is also a parent which helps) that I’d be OOTO for one hour at lunch 3 to 4 days a week and I in my monthly one on ones always bring it up to make sure he’s still happy with the deal. I’ll be honest, I never really leveraged this time before the kid, maybe a run or spin class once a week before, and I’ve actually seen my productivity increase. It forces me to be more disciplined with my time at the office knowing anything I don’t get done has to be completed later and at home, and I have way more energy in the afternoon which has been a boon. It’s been 4 month of this and my boss has been really supportive and has rolled out the option to the rest of our team to extend their lunch hours for things like this. I know not many people have the option, but you will never know unless you ask
- - Manage your own expectations as well. It’s so easy to miss a training session or two with the kid and you have to be willing to be flexible with yourself and not get frustrated or try and cram in extra to make up for it. I picked up a nasty cold from the kid (which I’m sure every parent has, especially with daycare being a CDC test bed for all the super bugs… At least it feels like it) and was out for the better part of 3 weeks in February. In the past this kind of thing just drove me crazy, and I’d get anxious about trying to train even when sick so I wouldn’t fall behind. Now I just take it in stride, focus on getting better, and used my down time to let my wife travel to visit some friends and get a few extra nights and days out doing her thing since I couldn’t train much. You need to be way more willing to just move things around and accept the loss of time.
- - Zero overhead workouts – This is something a buddy of mine who runs a lot explained to me. When can you do a workout that essentially costs you no time. By this I mean, can you commute to work by running? Can you bike somewhere to meet your wife for a shopping trip or get together? Any time you can get a work out in without it costing additional time is a win. The trainer in the basement is a great example. I didn’t used to love the trainer, but since I can get on it without having to drive to a gym or group ride, my 90 minute session really only costs me 90 minutes instead of 2 hours. I’ve started running to work in the morning once or twice a week and I let the wife drop off the kid at day care.
- - Wife and Kid come first, always – If she signs up for a last minute bar class or has had a long day and needs me to help, I always make it clear that I’m moving things around. Last minute changes like this and prioritizing them means that she is more supportive when I’m disappearing for 2 hours in the basement on a Wednesday night. What it costs you in the short term is paid off over the long term.

All in all, having a kid has made me a more disciplined athlete. I used to be able to justify skipping a morning workout and doubling up in the evening instead, or adding an hour to the weekend ride when I went out with the guys for beers after work during the week. Now, I almost never make that choice, I know I’m going to lose a work out a couple times a week for kid or wife related reasons, so when I’m not feeling up for that longer pool session but I have the time, I never cop out and skip it anymore.

The balance is there, you just need to be willing to be flexible and set expectations for everyone involved. I’m sure it’ll be harder when kid 2 comes along and I’m definitely going to be scaling back after my next couple of races to give the family more time, but you can make it work.

- Hubby and I both decided to get into triathlons in 2011 (when we just got married and had no kiddos). We started training together, but I found out shortly thereafter that I was preggo. So that summer of 2011 while I was preggo he did numerous triathlon races.

- At the end of 2011 we welcomed our first child and 5 months after, in summer of 2012, I started my own racing season, along side with hubby, so the first kiddo was 5 months old. I did a race every other weekend and ended that season with a destination 70.3 race, while hubby focused on training for a full ironman, which he did when the kid was 9 months old.

- We continued to train (while working full time) for the rest of 2012 and early 2013. In early 2013 we traveled abroad to do another 70.3. That summer we raced a lot locally and did another 70.3 at the end of the local season. Hubby also did a full ironman mid 2013 season (when the kid was 18 months) and I trained for a full ironman shortly afterwards and did it at the end of 2013 when the kid was just under 2 years old. I also qualified for two world championships, but I never ended up doing them because shortly after the ironman, I found out I was preggo with #2.

- While I was preggo with #2 in 2014, hubby trained for his third ironman and raced that entire 2014 season. At the end of that season we welcomed baby #2. I got back into training 5 weeks after giving birth.

- In 2015 racing season both hubby and I did some local races, including a 70.3. I qualified for 70.3 WC and we traveled abroad at the end of 2015 racing season (with two kiddos, one 3.5 years old and the other 11 months old) so that I can finally do a world championship race. We both did a bunch of running races (local).

- In 2016 both hubby and I did a few local triathlon races, but our enthusiasm for RACING started to die down. We still trained as much as we could on a regular basis. We started shifting to the enjoyment of the training process and away from all the nerves/hectic stress associated with racing, especially having to tow with us the kids and a set of grandparents.

- In 2017 we did a couple of local races and a destination 70.3 (with kids 3, & 5.5, accompanying us, as usual). During the season I did a lot of running (maybe too much), just by myself, for fun, with no particular goal in mind. After this race I found out that I am preggo with #3. Hubby lost interest in racing triathlons for now, although training/exercising is still an important aspect of our lives (less so for me now that I am preggo and feeling crappy).

- If everything goes well with the arrival of baby #3, I definitely will get back into training, but I will focus more on running, which is easier to do from a logistics point of view. Not sure about triathlon racing for the next couple of years...maybe a race here or there. I definitely want to do another ironman, but probably when baby #3 is at least 3 years old (and by which point my parents hopefully retire).

Some thoughts: Things were easier when both kiddos had no extracurricular activities and/or when I was home on mat leave. Once I went back to my full-time career (and hubby also has a demanding career) and once the older one got into competitive stream of extracurricular activities (and now the younger one is getting busier with extracurriculars), then it has become increasingly difficult to balance the job with own personal hobby/ambitions. Having a triathlon/sports goal became a recipe for disappointment because at the end of the day, I want to be present for my kids rather than win a podium at a local tri that no one cares about (except for me). So that's why hubby and I shifted away from PERFORMANCE and RACING.

I'm not fast in the least. But I'm going through something similar right now. What has been helping so far is I'm up at 4am. I have the Garmin vivoactive that vibrates on my wrist as an alarm so I don't have to worry about waking anyone else up. Started prepping meals i advanced and got a BJ's warehouse membership so we can buy in bulk and spend less time shopping. It's still too early for your son to do some things with you but I've had success going to the YMCA and letting mine and my gf's 10 year old daughters play in the small kid pool while I do laps. Finding ways to involve the family with training helps too. Maybe go to the park and have a track day while your wife pushes the stroller. Or a beach day. Offer to do the dishes in exchange for her watching the kiddo for a while so you can get an open water swim in. It's important that they're all having fun too.

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I still lapped everyone on the couch!

Coach and I are scheduling a down week after my first born popped out a few days ago. 2 70.3s and 3 Fulls scheduled for 2018. Wish me luck!

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Adam Feigh
Pianko Law, Speed Hound, Castelli, Sailfish, Base
Feighathlon.com

I wish I could do Tri still... but I can’t do it ( 3 kids under 3)

I switched to only riding my bike, Zwift racing and 1-2x / year road race. With 6ish hours of smart training / week I’ve gotten myself pretty fit. An occasional long weekend ride is my “treat”

Pretty sure being an exclusive runner would be less time commitment, but not as social for me, so I don’t do that

But my next time I need to cut training time I’m going to shift to 100% running

I am having my first child in a few months...deciding to switch to exclusive running for the 2H 2018 season after doing 1 HIM this year


my thinking is such: competitive Runner + social "fair weather cyclist" + never swimmer = good blend of competition / fitness + joy of riding + joy of no swimming

Also - i will focus on "controlling the controllables" as my college coach used to say - AKA DONT GET FAT..will focus on trimming and trying to maintain race weight throughout the year

with running you can be very competitive on 5 hours a week, maybe 7-8 hours peak, but nothing compared to tris.

JUST RUN!

Assuming you can get them to go away to school. And stay away.

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This is all good info.

I became single and thus could afford a super expensive bike and thus could train for hours on said bike and add in runs and swims and henceforth started racing again. I did it backwards haha

Im 29 and dang - yall got wifed up early!

mvenneta, any idea when you'd be able to return to Tri? have you talked to your spouse about it?

Really appreciate all the insight, both from the "keep it consistent" crowd and the "dial it back" crowd. Part of my reason for asking for responses from the pointy end of the 35-45 AG is that I feel there's a trade-off between pursuing my own self-interest of finding out how fast I can go / qualifying for WC and being the responsible parent.

Obviously one take priority, but looking back at my own father, he played golf 3-4x a week, got really good, and even took a year off of work to get his handicap below par (really impressive). I know we all want to "be there" for our kids, but I honestly don't think I missed out on much with my dad and we have a great relationship now. I wonder if pursuing my "selfish hobby" would be inspirational to my son?

Any thoughts on that?

As others have said, communication with spouse is key. Also, getting them out of the house to do things that they want to do that helps them stay sane works well.

I personally have found that when the kids are babies, they're actually a lot easier to manage with training, especially when they can hold their head up. Our kids spent a LOT of time in the bike buggy going somewhere, or in the runner going somewhere. That way, the kid has daddy-time, but I also was able to get training in.

As the kids get older, I am finding that it's harder, at least until they get old enough to ride with you if that interests them. We just bought my oldest (15) an almost cross bike (geometry is not quite a cross and not quite road) that is more road oriented, and am REALLY looking forward to introducing him to the addiction.

However, it will be difficult as we have another 4 kids and they're each an investment.

The hard reality though, is that it's sort of a crapshoot as to what your kid will take to, ESPECIALLY in the <10 years where their attention span is really short.

I assumed that my daughter would naturally be interested in all the 'exercise' I do since I do it so regularly and tell her about it whenever she's interested, but she didn't seem to get at all inspired until this year, and it's VERY modest. (She likes running now, as opposed to hating it as when she used to be the slowest girl in her class.)

Also, another hard reality is that your young kid WILL miss you if they're awake/conscious while you are working out. Sure, they'll grow up fine, not be maladjusted, etc. from you not being there, but they WILL miss you, and will complain to you about it - I literally miss a grand total of 2 hours per week from actual family time per week and my daughter will still say "awwww, do you HAVE to go?!"

My tips:

- The most important tip for me: PRIORITIZE SLEEP and RECOVERY. Yes, this will be literally impossible in months 0-6 of your infant. Still, prioritize it, it's that important.

- Next most important tip for me: Short workouts can be legit! 30 minutes at threshold pace or interspersed with VO2max intervals is a legit workout. No, it won't substitute for a long IM bike training session for IM racing, but you'll def pump up your speed and fitness with short but hard 30 minutes. I find that even the wife and kid can tolerate 30 minutes of workouts (closer to 45mins with shower!) and you can squeeze in 30 mins a lot more easily than 60 at odd points during the day.


- AM workouts are probably the only time you will have to yourself for over an hour. That said, I simply don't work out well in the morning, and I'm an early riser! I just can't seem to get the same oomph (not even close) that I do if I do the workout at a normal hour, even if I go to sleep super early. I do the easier longer stuff 1-2x/wk in the early hours, and save the hammerfest short stuff for lunch workouts.

- Lunch workouts and even bike/run commute workouts are great - make 'em count!

- You may have to dial it back from IM/HIM to Oly/sprint "A" races. The good part is that Oly/sprints are just as fun and competitive, and don't think you'll be training less hard just because you do less hours - the less hours means you gotta crank it up! I actually think for AGers, this volume training is MUCH more appropriate than the typical hours needed to perform well at HIM/IM.

You may as well get your divorce attorney picked out and ready to go......

I'm on about 12 hours/week training for 70.3s. I have two kids 9/8. I'd love to break into top 3 for my AG, but any more hours starts affecting family time. I'm doing a full in December and will take time off work to train otherwise I things at home could be tough.

After my first born I had two weeks off and then returned to training. The wife wasn't too impressed and words were had. I scaled back my training a bit and became a lot more flexible. Basically had all my kit ready to go at short notice and any time both the wife and daughter were down for a nap I would get a training session in. I managed to maintain my fitness this way but certainly didn't make any improvements.

By the time my daughter was a couple of months old she was sleeping through the night which made things a lot easier on everyone and I was back to work. At that time I was training in the afternoons and my wife was less than impressed again as there wasn't much time left over for family time.

I started training early in the morning and at lunch. It was tough at first as I am not a morning person. Now I have a pretty reliable routine of 5am starts.

Two days a week I commute to work on my bike, taking the long way to make it a 2 hour ride with an extra 30min on the way home. Lunch times are for swimming. Another weekday morning I do a shorter distance run. Long distance run on a Saturday and a brick workout on a Sunday.

In a couple of months my wife will be having number 2 and things will get tricky again no doubt. I expect that until baby number 2 is in a good sleep routine, I will just be grabbing quick workouts here and there and will at best maintain my current fitness but more likely slide backwards for a bit. Hopefully after a couple of months I can return to more serious and dedicated training.

I may be in minority, but i don’t (in the foreseeable future) ever expect to get back to ~15 hours / week training which I did for 5 straight years. And if i can’t train properly i won’t plan the big races just to do them.

I’m selfishly prioritizing my time with them vs training

It’s not only the training hours that get me ... I could technically do that early in the AM. I get up at 430 most days. It’s the necessary sleep / recovery, time with my wife and the extra hours with the kids that I miss. When I was 24 I could sleep all day on Sunday to recover after a hard week - that’s not possible anymore

So For me I’ve chosen to pretty much only workout while they sleep. That means I give up on tris. I still run anytime we travel or I’m off the bike .. and get pretty competitive on the bike... but no swim and no lofty IM goals. Just go have fun and sweat a bit

And every time I wake up and see 3 big smiles, or hear them yell daddddyyyy when I come back inside , I know I made the right choice (for me)

I haven't read all the replies but do some sprints and oly's. You can get back to IM's in 15-20 years.

As a guy with a big close southern family and 2 nieces (no kids for me yet)...this is - hands down - the quote of the day.

I won't respond to the whole thread but will just tack on to that last bolded part. Woke up to change my 3 month old daughter this morning at 4:30. She peed on herself, so I changed her then she started smiling and laughing. Needless to say I stayed awake to hold her until she fell back asleep. I got my run in at 6 but didn't mind waking up that early at all.

As far as training time, my wife and I have figured out some sort of a routine with my coach so I know MWF I swim before work then run or bike after she gets home from work. But there are plenty of times I just sit and hang out with her because she is pretty dang fun right now! I am also "only" training 10-12 hours a week now. I will let everyone know in a few weeks how my racing is off of that training.

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^ Ive never changed a diaper haha nor am I a father so i can't quite grasp that concept. Albeit all my buddies and such are the same way. Hard men but the worlds most intense softies.

Look at all these slowtwitchers having soft sides. I wonder how bad this thread would be if it were on LetsRun haha

It really is amazing what a little one can do to people! Especially a little girl! She has me wrapped around her tiny little fingers already.

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To be honest I think it depends on how the kids sleep (mine sleep great), how you sleep (I'm an early riser) and how flexible your job is (mine is very flexible). If you have all these things in your favour there isn't any reason to stop.

My wife and I have a weekend morning each, otherwise I need to be done training and home by 7am on weekdays or 10am on my weekend day. There is lots of time to train if you, your wife and kids can live with these stipulations.

I've always treated my training as an activity to be hidden from the family and aside from a late morning on the weekend there is nothing I do that would determine I've been training.

From a training perspective there are few easy days. Quality everyday, whether it be long distance or short and intense.

Ken

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"the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight." - Slowman

This! I think a lot of people here are forgetting how terrible infants sleep. Just about the time you have the sleep pattern figured out, BOOM: 9 month sleep regression. Once you figure that, BOOM: Cold and can't breathe well or eat. Oh and if you miss a nap, your next three days are figuring out how to get that sleep back in.

If you can't function on a daily basis when you are woken up several times a night, don't plan on training for any races.

This is now 15ish years ago given the kids' ages are now 17 and 16.

When my eldest was born, I stopped training completely. Not because my wife wanted that but because in my moronic mind I was thinking, "OK, must be the responsible parent and focus on the kids." This lasted about 1-2 months and EVERYONE was miserable. I was tired all the time, not because of the middle of night diaper changes and feedings, but because I wasn't doing anything physical. My wife said, "You are miserable, you need to start training again!" She later said training and racing is part of who you are, its in your DNA. I'm blessed with the family I have!!

Once I got back into training EVERYTHING clicked. I had a better temperment, more energy, more focus, I got more chores and errands done. I talked this with a guy during the White Lake Half IM back in '04 and he said it really well, "I'm a better husband, father, brother, son, boss, coworker, neighbor and friend when I'm active." Once training again, I'd take any of the 2am or later diaper changes/feedings and then get my workouts in after that. I had more energy and never sacrificed family time for training time. Family time was the top priority. Training was secondary. I just fit the training in when I could. I didn't worry about missing workouts and didn't worry about structure.

I signed up for the 2002 IMWisc race when my wife was pregnant with our 2nd. On the date of that race, we had a 2 year old and a 6 month old. My training volume was ~50% of what it had been previous BK (before kid) years. I hadn't participated in any (sprint, Oly, 70.3, full) triathlon the two previous years, but felt like I had enough "life experience" w/ previous racing and training that I would do OK and survive the race. I wasn't out there to race on race day, I was out there to enjoy the day, participate with friends, and enjoy the privilege of doing this kind of thing. I didn't wear a watch because I didn't want to get sucked into trying to finish w/in a certain amount of time. I did use a HRM on the bike to make sure I dialed in an appropriate effort. I didn't see a race clock until I exited T2 and out loud said, "Holy Sh*t!" To my surprise I was 30+ minutes faster than the time I shared w/ my family if I was having a dream race day. It didn't feel real that day. Right out of T2 I had spring in my steps and didn't even feel like I swam or cycled before that. I ended up setting a PR by 50 minutes and missed KQ by 1 place (and KQ was never even a remote goal).

You can absolutely do this! But flexibility is the key. Don't worry about missing workouts, don't worry about having to cut workouts short. Set modest goals knowing that quality and quantity of workouts will be impacted. I will add there was one exception to training being secondary to family time. About 5-8 weeks before IMWisc (and 5 years later, IMLou), I would do a three week mega mileage block. So I scheduled vacation days to fit in the training. I hated these big mileage weeks because it was pulling me away from the family. It was harder emotionally than it was physically. There were family trips to the park that I would miss or things like that. The training felt "obligatory" rather than the usual joy and privilege. But I felt it was necessary so I wouldn't go out on race day and get injured. Anyhoo, just enjoy the journey, don't force things, and let the family be part of your journey!

So to directly answer your questions:

How old were kids when I returned to training: 2 months old
How did I stay in shape during layoff: I didn't and I was miserable and tired all the time
How did your spouse react: Favorably, she's the one who encouraged me to get back into it

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Tad

It took awhile, but I finally discovered that its not the destination that's important, but rather the journey.

I'm currently training for my first 70.3 with a ~9 Month old at home (Our first). Wife isn't into tris or any other training. We're traveling to Ironman Raleigh and then taking a family vacation afterwards (part of the sales pitch).

As others have said, Mornings and...for me, actually doing late workouts are working (10pm or later) well. All trainer rides, which is fine. Fortunately I have a pretty flexible job schedule and I work from home 2x a week, so I can actually do long sessions on those days while the baby is at daycare.

With that, I also try to take my day off/recovery day on Sundays. Wife seems to appreciate that I don't have to jump out of bed early both days on the weekend.

For what it's worth, I find that following a specific training plan, helps me structure my time and I can prioritize everything in life a lot better than when I am not. With that said, you have to give yourself some flexibility when structuring your plans, and expect there are going to be some weeks or days that just don't go as planned.