You're not alone at all! I wrote a post about this about a year ago. It helped immensely for me to change my goals for that first year and also to do non-standard races so I couldn't compare times. Maybe you'll find some helpful tips in here: https://www.triforceteam.com/...-new-dad-experiment/
Coach at TriForce Triathlon Team: https://www.triforceteam.com
Coach at TriForce Triathlon Team: https://www.triforceteam.com