You're not alone at all! I wrote a post about this about a year ago. It helped immensely for me to change my goals for that first year and also to do non-standard races so I couldn't compare times. Maybe you'll find some helpful tips in here: https://www.triforceteam.com/...-new-dad-experiment/

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Coach at TriForce Triathlon Team: https://www.triforceteam.com