I agree with a lot of what people said. Eight years is a long time. How long to recover depends on you. Find a quiet space and scream, cry, vent (to a good friend) or, journal your thoughts, then, when you're ready, burn that journal.
I went through a divorce 11 years ago (married almost seven years). We didn't have kids, but, the break up hurt, especially when I realized the part I played in it. The two of you do become like one person. It's really a death, and you have to put that person to death, mentally speaking. I did this very thing once we separated. Even though we forgave each other in person (we both made mistakes), I still wrote a letter to her, but didn't give it to her. I then collected all the things tying me to that relationship (pictures, wedding album, etc.) and my letter and had a funeral service. I ended it by burning all of those memories. I wasn't doing it out of bitterness. I needed to move on. Having those things in my sight just kept the wound open. I then asked my parents to get rid of all pictures of me and my former wife.
The last thing I did was move to another state and start a different job. Before I moved, I got rid of all my furniture from the relationship. Once settled in my new digs, I gradually replaced my clothes from the former relationship with new ones. Four years after the move, I replaced the vehicle that was with me at the end of that relationship. I even put "single" on paperwork that asked for my marital status. I don't put divorced if I can help it (it's just another reminder of what used to be). Now that it's been over 11 years, I feel as if I was never married.
The only thing I can offer is to wait a year before jumping into another relationship. Enjoy your singleness and rejoice that you didn't go forward with marriage! That would be even more challenging, and especially if you had kids. A rebound is something some people do, and, imo, is not needed at this time. Good friends - definitely needed! Serious relationship right now - not so much. You're still reeling from the former relationship. I found it good to take time to look at my own crap that I brought into the former relationship. I didn't want to bring that baggage into another relationship again. Hence, waiting it out will be good for you in the long run.
Hope this helps. It will get easier. Hammer those workouts, my friend! It will definitely help your mental state.
I went through a divorce 11 years ago (married almost seven years). We didn't have kids, but, the break up hurt, especially when I realized the part I played in it. The two of you do become like one person. It's really a death, and you have to put that person to death, mentally speaking. I did this very thing once we separated. Even though we forgave each other in person (we both made mistakes), I still wrote a letter to her, but didn't give it to her. I then collected all the things tying me to that relationship (pictures, wedding album, etc.) and my letter and had a funeral service. I ended it by burning all of those memories. I wasn't doing it out of bitterness. I needed to move on. Having those things in my sight just kept the wound open. I then asked my parents to get rid of all pictures of me and my former wife.
The last thing I did was move to another state and start a different job. Before I moved, I got rid of all my furniture from the relationship. Once settled in my new digs, I gradually replaced my clothes from the former relationship with new ones. Four years after the move, I replaced the vehicle that was with me at the end of that relationship. I even put "single" on paperwork that asked for my marital status. I don't put divorced if I can help it (it's just another reminder of what used to be). Now that it's been over 11 years, I feel as if I was never married.
The only thing I can offer is to wait a year before jumping into another relationship. Enjoy your singleness and rejoice that you didn't go forward with marriage! That would be even more challenging, and especially if you had kids. A rebound is something some people do, and, imo, is not needed at this time. Good friends - definitely needed! Serious relationship right now - not so much. You're still reeling from the former relationship. I found it good to take time to look at my own crap that I brought into the former relationship. I didn't want to bring that baggage into another relationship again. Hence, waiting it out will be good for you in the long run.
Hope this helps. It will get easier. Hammer those workouts, my friend! It will definitely help your mental state.