Nothing. And that's why I chose to change my opinion in advance of anything else. I decided to stop thinking the worst and to take a more optimistic view. I changed my opinion before I ever wrote to Brett. Maybe I'm a sucker. I can live with that.

I should be dead. But I'm not because some random stranger decided to do something remarkable. Of course, some other random stranger decided to do something terrible. But I'd rather assume the best in people, because I just find that to be the worldview I want to pass on to my son.



What else should I use?



Because he has a lot of wisdom to share. And because I think if there's one thing that the sporting world, triathlon in particular but sports in general, is short on, it's real wisdom.



For the record, I think that he's a forever scumbag too. And I think that he believes he's a forever scumbag too. I just don't think that's ALL he is.

It's human nature to assume that people are basically all X, whatever X is. It's in our basic psychology. We have a very hard time reconciling that good people do bad things and vice versa. You see this in particular with Lance. People believe he didn't dope because of his charity work. And on the flipside, people believe his charity work is a sham because of his massive crimes with regards to doping. I believe that his charity work is genuine and that he genuinely cares about cancer patients. The mission Livestrong makes sense when you think about why Lance almost died - it was not that his cancer was rare or untreatable; it was that he didn't get the right advice early enough, which is what - in part - Livestrong aims to do. People like to quote the 2007 article on Charity Watch that says it cost Livestrong "as much as 45 cents to raise $1." And they ignore the fact that as of 2011 - using 2010 returns - over the history of the charity, over $0.80 of every $1 has gone directly to programs/outreach/etc. I believe that Livestrong is legitimate for the exact same reason that I believe Lance was a fraud and a cheat as an athlete - it's the consensus based on evidence. The tax returns, the Livestrong employees (you don't think one Livestrong employee would roll on Lance if it was a fraud?), etc. Just like it's impossible to say that Lance did not commit atrocious acts of intimidation, fraud, malice, etc as an athlete with all of the evidence surrounding that, I think it's equally impossible to say that Livestrong does not do good work. Now, that's a very hard thing to reconcile in our brains. The easiest way to do it is to assume that the charity work is just a facade. But I don't believe that. I think it's genuine. I think he genuinely cares about the work that Livestrong does in a (mostly) altruistic way. And I also think he's a pathological liar, a fraud, a cheat, and worse. He forced athletes to put their lives at risk by doping; he ruined careers and reputations willfully and vindictively. I think he operates at more polar extremes than the typical person, but I think everyone has good and bad in them. I think it's rare that someone can be so skewed, but I don't believe it's impossible. I would certainly like to see Lance held accountable for his crimes to a much greater degree than he has been. He RUINED a lot of lives. But he also made a profound positive difference in a lot of lives. I want him to pay for his crimes. And to pay dearly. But I don't want to see him totally destroyed as a human being. I don't want to see done to him what he did to others. I do not want, "an eye for an eye." I understand that other people do, and I respect that. I'd just ask that people respect that other people's sense of justice may differ.

Is Brett manipulative, authoritarian, and otherwise precisely the kind of the person who would prey on a female minor over whom he had authority. Yes, he is. And he did precisely that. But I also think he's a father and a mentor who cares a lot about people. I expect that whatever lead him to make that terrible, terrible decision is still very much a part of his psyche. But I also don't think it's his whole person.

The world is most comfortable to our brains when it's black and white. But I don't actually think the world is very black and white. Or, more specifically, I don't think that people are very black and white. Actions? Sure. Brett committed - no shades of grey - an atrocity. But does that make him - as a person - an atrocity? I don't want to take that view of the world. If people think less of me because of that, I'm okay with that.