how do you get those to work?

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Fruit snacks are for winners

You posted this in the wrong thread. The Backdoor Brag thread is elsewhere

 

• I LOVE IT when my daughters introduce me to their friends/teachers as "my IRONMAN daddy", it makes me feel superior.
• I always buy the same color bike (black) knowing that my wife will never know the difference.
• I wish that I could say that I don't enjoy swimming over breast strokers, but I do.
• I am slow as shit and I don't care AT ALL. I have finished every IM and HIM race I have ever started.
• I once edited out the time on a 10K run photo because it said 1:42:11. I won't tell you what I chanced it to.
• I have trained for 3 HIM and 2 IM races with the same two pair of running shorts.
• I love my wife and would never leave her, but I wouldn't mind knocking it around with a few of her friends.
• I am going to get my MDOT tattoo today.

Pics or it didn't happen :)

I scheduled myself a recovery ride for this afternoon and I skipped it. Omg

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10k - 30:48 / half - 1:06:40

• If you want to smell the worst and best thing at the same time, get a fresh bar of Irish Spring soap, lather up your bare hand, then wash out your ass crack. Take a good hard whiff........welcome to my world.

My neighbor bought a bike to come out and ride/race with me, it annoys the shit outta me even though I complain I don't have friends who ride

My coworker LOVES to talk about stocks/money all the time and I don't freaking care. I'm honestly bored out of my mind every time he talks but I act interested and just keep saying "yup"

Fat people annoy me, especially the ones in scooters and handicap spots. Congrats for being fat as a reward you can park next to the door

I cant stand my family except for my parents. My wife's family is even worse, I'd tell them where to stick it in a heartbeat if I didn't have to listen to my wife bitch about "how mean I am"

Another coworker says she's OCD all the time as an excuse to why she does crap. Pretty convinced she is full of it because her desk is ridiculously messy and she's generally gross. Yet she corrects people on dumb crap or moves things on someone else's desk and says "sorry guys I'm just too OCD for that"


I have plenty of these but that's enough for this post

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Hell with it I will get that freaking Mdot as well

I got it last night, but I am too stupid to figure out how to post a picture from my phone.
Another dirty secret, I AM DUMB.

I have no clue what "yaw" means. Ditto for "stack" or "reach".


That felt great getting off my chest!

-I sometimes wear my tri shorts 3-4 times on the trainer before washing.

-I have tri items shipped to my office then sneak them into my basement so my wife doesn't find out

-I once ordered a new bike right after finding out we owed a large sum to the IRS. I told my wife I didn't know we owed the money until after the bike came in.

-I've never peed on the bike. I just can't bring myself to do it.

-I always look fat in my race bike photos

I'm kind of snotty too when I ride rollers... I put a towel under my rollers since I sweat buckets. I'll just spit on it as well since its going in the wash... I use old beach towels. If I used the "good towels" that would be a dirty secret I guess.

For my dirty secret... I have a side business that I make money for tri related purchases. Got my own PayPal card and everything... I bought my girls two Macbook Pros, prom dress and a few other things. Mostly daddy tri stuff, Zipp 606s!!!! Need to get back on this, I'm empty right now!

I hate when people talk shit about others without actually doing research into what they're saying so it just proves they're a huge asshole that doesn't actually know what OCD is.

Calm down there. If you want I could write you a full story on how I know she's not (including I asked her if she really was so I could help and she said no). Funny how you say people who 'don't do their research are assholes'. Move along now ;)

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I can really only muster up the motivation to really, truly train for about 10-13 weeks at a time, and then I need a couple months of being lazy to get up the motivation to do it again.

It is a secret to longevity in the sport.....

I consider that to be the holy grail.


Your privileges should be revoked for even mentioning, and you shall be rottin in training hell for calling it "dirty".

Yaw - "yaw come back real soon now, y'hear?"

Stack -



Reach -



My work here is done. No need to thank me.

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float , hammer , and jog

I'm all caught up now thanks to you!

Let's see if I can add some.

1. I suck at changing a tire, but when I ride with my wife I act like I'm a pro and she tells all her friends how good I am at working on her bike.
2. I always seem to forget something on a bike ride, but not my phone or credit card. I'll call someone or Uber home.
3. My front tire on my road bike has a hole in it so I just used a patch. I bought a replacement tire for it but see #1
4. I used to try and convince myself to quit every single triathlon during the swim by telling myself how much this suck right now, but eventually I get out of the water and run up to T1 like I owned the swim.
5. I probably train too much. But I've got the perfect gig right now to see if I can place in an Ironman.
6. I look up other people on USAT before a race and then kinda stare them down on race day.
7. I get a little jealous of better triathletes. I've gotten better at this but there's still a few people that are on my list.
8. I'm addicted to this sport and I love that feeling.
9. I hate it when we attack each other on this forum.

Heretofore known as "a Lochte."

chamois cream is an integral part of my race-day plan for ironman. probably more than most.

I cant urinate while riding my bike. Complete stage fright.

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I am a bad runner.
I met Javier Gomez once.
I don't speak in miles.
I have opinions.

Once, a kid who is old enough to know better thought it was funny to cut across the lanes in a lap pool. I asked him to stop because it's dangerous, the other swimmer in my lane asked him to stop, and then when more swimmers complained, the staff (no lifeguards at this pool) finally told him to stop. As soon as the staff turned his head, he thought it was so funny to do it again. Next thing I knew, his head was under my palm (I didn't see him coming as I look down, not forward, when swimming). Maybe I could have stopped swimming, but my hand didn't obey and pull his little head under water more. He choked a little bit, but he stopped cutting across the lanes after that.

Been holding off on this but if not now, when…

1. I keep my own work hours so I swim midday in an empty pool. No wait, no bodies.
2. (See #1) I hate getting trampled at swim start and have no problem losing a few minutes waiting for the pack to start.
3. (See #2) I suck at swimming so I still get trampled by the next wave.
4. No more rain. Three of my six 70.3s have been in the rain and I’m never doing another event in full day’s rain.
5. No more heat. I've cramped in every half/full I’ve done in over 85 degrees. Usually multiple leg muscles at same time. Nutritionist didn’t help.
6. No more long run training. Running is beating up my aging body, even in Hokas with orthotics. (Will let you know how that goes after this weekend’s 70.3.)
7. My 2015 full (B2B 140.6) was great but I won’t do a second without family approval which is not forthcoming. Turned in my man card.

All that said, I am doing three 70.3’s in 2017, still bugging my family for a 140.6 pass next year, and still love setting goals, making plans, training, "competing," and living the triathlete life.

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"Some guys they just give up living, and start dying little by little piece by piece. Some guys come home from work and wash up, then go racin' in the street." Bruce Springsteen