-My breakfast for the last 3 weeks has been a Monster Zero Energy and a Clif Bar (I eat it in bed).

-I wear a jammer every time I swim. It is a youth size.

-On a hot day I cool down after a workout by sitting down on the bathroom floor. Today I ate chocolate ice cream to help.

-I eat ice cream about 5 days a week. Once I stopped twice on the way home from work.

-I don't take days off.

- I'm home by myself and I've had too much wine to drink.

- I work for a wine company so I tell myself it's a work related requirement.

- I get to work late and leave early for training and I don't give a shit what it's doing for my promotion prospects.

- I do work on my computer and surf Facebook, ST, Cycling News etc on my iphone so no one can see what I'm doing.

- I get an inordinate amount of pleasure from chicking men on my bike. Particularly up hills.

- I'd rather drop off and sit up than ride on the wheel of a fat guy with hairy legs, even if he can ride better than me and there's a headwind.

- I won't ride behind a guy in white lycra, no matter what. I don't need to see that.

- I blow snot rockets in the pain cave & hope the dog is going to clean them up for me.

- I really enjoy 6 hour solo rides because I don't have to talk to anyone.

- I often choose my running routes based on where the best perving opportunities will be.

- Sometimes I won't let my dog stop for a pee on a run and drag her along until she gives up.

- I bribe my kid with slurpees to come training with me.

- I have special Friday night bathers for Friday night swims when everyone else is at the pub.

- I doubt I'd consider dating a guy with hair on his legs. Or his head.

- I don't eat enough green vegetables and I drink far too much Sustagen because it's easy.

- I've got no interest in power meters or training by numbers and I don't have a Garmin.

- I can change a tyre but I've got no idea what stack and reach mean.

- I play helpless female with my male friends so they service my bikes for me.

- I'm going to get another glass of wine.

- Part of the reason I like triathlon training it that it gives me an excuse to be anti social
- I hate flip turns and rarely do them even though I swam in high school and college
- I often drive to the pool even though its only 2 blocks away
- I don't watch my diet and eat candy like a 4yr old
- I run at the busiest time of day because there are more hot women to look at

I have everything that U2 has ever released; all studio albums, official live recordings, B-sides compilations, fan-club-only remixes, plus bootlegs and pirated demos

Want a copy of "Kiwi - The Remixes for Propaganda?" I have it, as well as Mango, Orange, Papaya & Pineapple

The soundtrack to Passengers? No problem; that's where "Miss Sarajevo" came from, y'know?

"Salome?" Two versions with matching liner notes for each

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Wow, that might be a new low. I'm impressed! Is TriBeer aware of this? She's got a bit of a snot thang.


Giving the attention, or receiving?

Thank you! I should add that my pain cave is pretty low rent - no fancy carpet or flat screen TV & a concrete floor - I'd be AWFULLY impressed though if I'd managed to achieve a ST low - that would almost be better than a podium!! :-)

Geez, if I'm being totally honest I'd have to say both - a bit of male admiration is always good for the soul, but I'm usually far more interested in what I can look at...

That does remind me of the day I was out for a run & had stopped as the dog had just done her business a few metres away. I was wandering around looking at the ground trying to spot where she'd dropped her log and a gorgeous bloke stopped and asked if I needed help and was I was looking for something?

Without thinking the situation through terribly well, I looked up and said 'I'm looking for dog poo'. There went that opportunity. Right there.

I just wanted to reply to your post to see if it linked to your real name ... and then see if someone looks up your username and uses these secrets to destroy you.

Edit: Good for you, it worked! LOL

I just ate the majority of the Pillsbury Orange Sweet Rolls....and enjoyed it....

-- I race crits.

-- I pretty much only race crits.

-- When people draft while I'm training, I gradually pick up the pace until they pop.

I have been riding for 6 years and still dont know how to fix a flat
I have aero bars on my bike to hold up my water bottle
I love recovery wine and beer
I love the winter season so I can get chubby
I go through runners withdrawal after 3 days
I long to stay up past 10pm...

I just ordered 3 containers of "Liquid Ass" from Amazon with the plan of secretly unleashing it on 2 people I don't care for. Believe me, I have tried to like these two people, but there is no hope. I feel it is my duty to all the people that suffer from these two people. I have even worked out the plan to unleash it. I highly recommend looking the product up on Amazon and make sure you read the reviews. Hilarious reviews and it is not common for a product to have hundreds of reviews and for the average rating of the product to be so high.

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Adrian in Vancouver

I have entirely too much time on my hands right now because I'm engrossed in those Amazon reviews, which are freakin' hilarious! Please let us know how it goes when your ass arrives!

Oh man, reading the reviews while in cubicle land is not good. Definately give us a recap when you've done your deed.

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

- I actually love riding my bike and doing triathlons. I don't really care about winning but do win more and more races without trying. I never really race against the clock or other people like allot of my fellow athletes. I just try to finish as quick as possible. I believe and ensure that I will gradually get better without any set goals or even trying. I am a hippy when it comes to philosophies and create my own.

- I swim relatively fast because I tell myself to think like a shark, feel like a shark, be like a shark.

- I look like I'm better than I actually am, but am better that I tell people that I am.

- I think luck is a valid reason.

- I volunteer at cycling races because those guys would kill me in the hill attacks.

- I am able to beat cyclists in TT's because I spend hours in aero and can sleep on my bike.

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Swim with swimmers, bike with cyclists, run with runners. Train with those who are hard to keep up with. Soon you will be hard to keep up with.

I dip everything in Nutella

My dirty secrets would lead to horrible horrible consequences.

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LAPT Cycling - - - - TriWI Tri Team

When people ask me my finishing times, I always subtract the Port-a-potty times, if any. My official time is always 2-3 minutes longer. ;)

Ok, so here is the update.....

The order arrived. All along I was thinking that the reviews were being overly dramatic, but no. There really are no words in the english language to describe how bad this smell is. If they come up with a word for it, it will not contain vowels. It will be something like xkccqk because the smell will not deserve the soft sound of a vowel. And it is not only that it smells so bad...it is that it still smells like uncleaned ass. You still identify it as being ass, which makes it that much worse. There is not a person in this world I can release this on. It is sitting on the shelf in my outdoor shed. I am seriously afraid of squirting it again and I only did a quarter squirt.

I guarantee if you do this at work and they find out it is you, it will be the end of your career as you know it. If you do it at a wedding, you will cause a divorce and probably the shortest lasting marriage ever.

I am repulsed and embarrassed I bought it...yet I highly recommend it.

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Adrian in Vancouver

I hate being touched, so much I am compelled to wash my hands repeatedly after being touched.

1) an 8ball a day keeps the . . . . recovery sessions away?

2) wrist restraint? genital cuff? or purely ornamental?

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What are you people, on dope?

—Mr. Hand

These do not sound all that dirty or unique. Most of your lists has been experienced by many at one point or another, by many reading these pages. Especially 5, 6 & 10.

How do you feel now that you bought the liquid ass with the intention of using it on two guys you dislike, but instead it is only you that has inhaled the liquid ass? Do you dislike them even more now? Look what they got you to do. You paid money to inhale some liquid ass.