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disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday...
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First let me just say that i'm a weightist or fitnessist or what ever you call it, I have very little patience or sympathy for people that I perceive to be grossely obease. Now I know that this is a terrible charactor flaw since you can never be sure what a person's circumstances are and I surely woudl not want people judging me solely on my appearence (althought that is really not true because I do work hard on my appearence partially so people will see me in a certain way.)
HOWEVER, there is one thing that immediately changes my mind about fat people (yes fat), and that is when I see them putting in the effort to change their life for the better. prime examples would be a shopong cart full of fruit and veggies as opposed to frozen hungryman dinners and soda, or most especially when i see them at the gym.

So yesterday I'm swimming and the lane next to me are two boys (brothers i assume) the younger is about 60-80 lbs overweight at age 13 or so. he looks like he is borderline diabetic from the weight, but he might have a chance since he is young and still has a bunch of growing to do. The older brother is closer to 18-20 and is carrying at least 50 extra lbs around with him. while the younger one plays around the older is attempting to swim 25's but not always making it. Not a big deal. at the same time there is a water aerobics class in the pool made up of mostly very large women.

At the end of my workout, as i'm climbing out of the pool the older one (who at this point has swam approx 75yds) looks at me and says "depressing isn't it?" as he gestures to the aerobics class. i look at him trying to figure out where he is going and he continues "fatties are here every day and it isn't doing them any good."
At this point I'm shocked, I barely get out "Well at least they are here doing it."
his reply "yeah but it doesn't do them any good."
me "every little bit helps man." as I quickly pack my bag to get away from the situation.
him "well not if they are going to eat 2,000 calories a day"
at this point I'm walking away stunned at so many things that I can hardly process what was going on.

i shower and get dressed, which takes about 7 min. as I walk by the windows to the pool I notice that he and his brother have refrained to the hot tub after thier grueling 14min workout.


first let me say that i have the utmost respect for the women in the pool aerobics class. Anybody that has enough guts to come to a gym with windows to the pool in a bathing suit when you are very over weight has as much heart as anybody out there, and shoudl never be ridiculed for it.

Second, it really disturbed me that this kid identified himself more with me than he did with the over weight community. I mean I'm not at racing weight or anythng, but I'm getting pretty close and this kid was crusing for his first heart attack at 30. Plus his "workout" lasted for about 100 yds and 14min while the water aerobics class lasts over an hour (and most ladies stay after).

it just made me sad the state of things that an obviously over weight jerk like that perceives himself as normal and fit so that he can make fun of those that are doing the work to change their life.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. - Fight Club
Industry Brat.
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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That is pretty funny! I think we can all relate.

i love it when the "bigger" people try to give nutritional advice. I have a few larger co-workers that insist on grading my nutrition

---------------------------
"This wheel definitely beat the 808 in this test, no question, and I do commend Hed on producing a really fast wheel...the wheel is fast, I am not disputing that." - joshatzipp on the Stinger 9
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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you have to know that that kids self esteem is so low that he is just hoping that maybe you would agree with him and give him some sense of approval. I mean he watched you do one lap after the other and he was probably really worried that you were judging him so he was making a weak attempt to divert you by using fattism and misogny. When your 50 + lbs over weight you know it you see your bitch tits and gut every minute of the day. Not that he should have done it but hopefully this will help you see he needs some compassion too.
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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Pete, it might have been worth directing him toward one of the aqua aerobic classes himself as it would have more training effect than his current "workout".


"How bad can it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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Similar to the concept that 80% of the population identify themselves as middle class.

Nobody, especially considers themselves fat. Yeah maybe they are carrying a spare(john deere tractor) tire, but they still can point at some other fatso.

It is especially bad with males as it is more acceptable to be an overweight as a man. You see it in comedy TV shows where overweight not especially attractive males with hot fit wives. According to Jim was cited as an example in a MSN article I read regarding this.

I try to be extremely positive towards anybody "working out" no matter what they look like, but if somebody overweight is eating crap at a restaurant or driving a humungous vehicle while I am running/biking I am very likely to make some evil/snide comments.

All you can do is shake your head in disbelief.

Swim - Bike - Run the rest is just clothing changes.
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [JulianInEngland] [ In reply to ]
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I almost did, but I was too stunned to come up with any nice way to say it to him. :-)

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. - Fight Club
Industry Brat.
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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I would not try and over analyze the situation other than to say, in those boys world, it has become acceptable to be lethargic and over-weight. I am not defending them, just pointing out the obvious. That's why the overweight/obese problem is not going to go away any time soon or very easily. The solution is really quite simple - eat less and be more active. However, several generations have been brought up eating poorly and being innactive and that has become the standard. It's going to take a long time to change that.


Steve Fleck @stevefleck | Blog
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Fleck] [ In reply to ]
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I'm very active, but have put on weight since I started working and sitting behind a desk for 40 hours a week. What it came down to for me was food intake. Some people eat to live, some people live to eat. With fast food, portion sizes people are eating, it's obvious why obesity is a problem. Now I wont lie. .based on my height and weight, I am obese. Dont feel obese, but part of it stems from working out. I have come to conclusion a while ago that it simply is my eating habits. .I changed those and i've been losing since.



@CycleHeavy
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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You were there and I wasn't so you are in a better position to judge what the young guy was thinking but when I read your post, my first reaction was "there's a guy who is discouraged about his prospects for losing weight". He's young, he's overweight and around him he sees people with the same problem who are trying and failing to beat the problem. So what chance does he have? How many 18 year olds talk about # of calories a day? This kid knows he has a problem and is looking for help and reassurance. I hope he finds it somewhere. He was looking for that when he talked to you.

Grant

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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [TriMeSBR] [ In reply to ]
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"I changed those and i've been losing since"

Good for you. Keep at it!

Portion size is definately part of the problem, particularly in the U.S. When travelling there for business which I do frequently, I have given up ordering from the main entree section of the menu at most resturants. If I order from the entree section, I often can't finish the whole thing or if I do, I feel like a blimpe afterwards.So this is what I do: Typically, they will bring bread at no charge, then I order a salad with meat. Our accountant likes this to. Meal expenses can be cut in half this way!!


Steve Fleck @stevefleck | Blog
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [TriMeSBR] [ In reply to ]
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Hilarious Tagline...

Marc Anthony looked down on Ceasar's body,
He said, "Freinds, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears,
I did not come here to play Ceasar,
I came here for,
Sex and Beer!
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [D1UCB4U] [ In reply to ]
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george washington he never crossed the deleware
there was no midnight ride for paul revere
ben franklin never discovered electricity
they were too busy looking for: sex and beer!!


great song!



@CycleHeavy
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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it really disturbed me that this kid identified himself more with me

Maybe judgemental haters know their own?








"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Forsler] [ In reply to ]
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Weird - - I was thinking the same thing. The fact that apparently there was only one fit person in the pool was just driving home the odds to this young man. Hopefully whatever / whomever got him in the pool in the first place will continue to have a positive influence on him so he becomes more confident and sees that it DOES help that he's in there working out. That one fit person immediately distancing themselves from him was probably a blow to such a perceptive young man.
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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Quote:
At the end of my workout, as i'm climbing out of the pool the older one (who at this point has swam approx 75yds) looks at me and says "depressing isn't it?" as he gestures to the aerobics class. i look at him trying to figure out where he is going and he continues "fatties are here every day and it isn't doing them any good."

Maybe you just had an in-person encounter with swimfan?

''The enemy isn't conservatism. The enemy isn't liberalism. The enemy is bulls**t.''

—Lars-Erik Nelson
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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Has it occured to anyone that maybe the overweight jerk was 100 pounds overweight last year?








"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [vitus979] [ In reply to ]
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Something tells me by his appent revelment of making fun of the aerobics class that he was not one of the people on the road to fitness.

my own issues toward large people not withstanding, I know a jerk when I meet one. i suppose you will reply that "it takes one to know one" and i suppose that would be fair. as i said at the begining, my attitude toward the couch potato is not exactly a shining beacon of tolorance, just that even i have respect for anybody that is out there doing the work, this person obviously to me did not.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. - Fight Club
Industry Brat.
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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just that even i have respect for anybody that is out there doing the work, this person obviously to me did not.

Maybe he values results over effort.











"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [vitus979] [ In reply to ]
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Well, I value the effort over anything else.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. - Fight Club
Industry Brat.
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Martin C] [ In reply to ]
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"Possibly a deep psychological scar brought out a very simple coping mechanism; identifying with those you wish to be."

...nail on the head right there.


------------------------------
Another IM in 2016 - hopefully..
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [Ti T'war] [ In reply to ]
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I have a pet peeve with overweight people making comments to non fat people. I am 5' 9" and 130lbs. I constantly have obese people making comments to me like, "your so skinny it is disgusting," or "I hate you because you are so skinny." Do you know what would happen to me if I EVER made a comment like that to an overweight person. If I was at work (which I hear those comments all the time) I would be fired. In life they would just simply kill me. I would NEVER make a comment to anyone about their weight skinny or fat. Why is it that fat people think that because you are thin they can say whatever it is they want to you.
I feel empathy for the kid. Maybe he is discouraged about losing weight, or in denial about his weight. You would be surprised that people do not realize just how overweight they are. I think people should keep opinions about ones weight to themselves.

------------------------------------------------------------"life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, totally worn out and screaming, "WHOO HOO what a ride"
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [tricutie] [ In reply to ]
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I find when i have anger, intolerance, fear etc., it's usually my issue....i look at it as an opportunity to find out more about myself and understand why those feelings exist......Jerk or not, interacting with that kid is an opportunity to work on your "issue" of admitted intolerance toward fat people......... when i ask myself the question "do i know that to be 100% true" and i can't answer in the affirmative then I try not to draw any conclusions otherwise i find myself becoming judgemental...... Having said all that, putting into practice in my daily life is easier said than done
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [tricutie] [ In reply to ]
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That's so true. I often scarf down my post-workout breakfast at my desk so fast so that no one sees what I'm eating. It's usually my favorite post-workout PB and Banana sandwich - sometimes on a WW bagel (oh, the HORROR) & the comment is "OMG there are SO many calories in that - you're gonna get fat" - speaking sarcastically, of course, at me.

I detest it so much that I try to eat before anyone else gets in, just so I don't have to deal with it.

Yes, there is a terrible double standard. Clothing sizes too...but don't get me started on that one!
KC
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Re: disturbing thing happened to me at the pool yesterday... [tricutie] [ In reply to ]
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I agree with you. my biggest peve is when somebody (anybody) makes a comment about my weight and proclaims "well it is so easy for you to stay in shape/be skinny." Drives me crazy. Don't even try to tell the people how hard you work to stay fit because then they tell you how unhealthy all that exercise is. sad sad.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. - Fight Club
Industry Brat.
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