I'm here to improve your subject lines, to make them just as tantalizing and "clickable" as the despicable email mass marketers, whose subject title lines, hit our inboxes, with such hits as "shipping confirmation number #245680," "Your Bounced Check," or "ATM withdrawal Approved."

Stale, uninviting email subject lines like, "Renew Your Tri-Subscription," just ain't going to cut it, or "20% Off Swim Wear," in today's cruel email mass marketing world. I am impressed by your restraint, but there actually is no dignity and no clickability in those subject lines.

If you want triathletes to click on your mail, here's some good subject title suggestions, for triathletes to read in their email inbox titles, to give you the idea:

1. "They Laughed At Your Hairy Back In T-1."

----swim suit and clothing pitch follows

2. "Why I Kicked You In The Face In The Swim Leg."

---swim training tape

3. [Mr./Ms.] [Last Name] On Your Left!"

--- bike ad or aero bars ad

4. Your Recent Tri Race Disqualification

---new lightweight bike ad

5. Fact: Most Tri Bike Frames Are Already Cracked

---another bike ad

6. What Most Bottom Age Groupers Aren't Told

---some tri training camp

7. Your Wetsuit Still Shows Your Bulging Tummy

---wet suit ad

8. You Were The Fastest Home Out Of T-3 Again

---tri training camp ad

9. You have no calve muscle: Do You Have Cankles?

---weight lifting device

10. Why Thousands Die Each Year After Triathlon Seasons.

---winter or base training triathlon book