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I've just thought of the most killer invention for us poseurs of the world. It's a triple crankset with a 58/50/34 combo. The monstrous solid dinner-plate sized large chainring will hide the fact that you're riding a triple. The 58t will, of course, be non-functional anyway since poseurs couldn't possibly turn a 58t even with a 30t cog in back, and this will also mean that you can run a double rear der. So, it's basically a compact crankset with a "cosmetic" 58t on the outside to go with the new Zipp 808 front wheel and the Campy disk. Construction will be carbon fiber/titanium (OCLV 55, of course). Who wants one?
I will call them "PoseurCranks"
Last edited by:
jkatsoudas: Jul 2, 04 16:00
Dude I want one.............Also I am the true poser!!!! I put a cucumber in my wetsuit in 50 degree swims!
Does the cuke go in front or back? Poseur wannabes wanna know.
The cucumber in the front dude Your a sicky................Tibby would even disclaim you.! !
OK, maybe this is too obvious. Couldn't the cucumber also be called a Poseur Crank? ;-)
as long as I can get them in 180 length
The real poser...
...may just push the 58!!
pinkboy
In the power never given to me in the name of slowman, king high ruler and Grand Hunky Poo Ba of the blessed land of Slowtwitchia I dub thee "Sir pinkboy the Awsomator" This honor is given to thee for the reason of being not only freakin' awsome but totally sweet. By the use of the color Pink to fly your freak flag and bring smiles to frowny faces. *Mr. Tibbs*
"Tibby would even disclaim you.! ! "
Mr. Tibbs ain't nothin' but love.
customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.
PoseurCranks, awesome. Put me down for a set. Not only will they look fast, but imagine pushing 58-11 coming down Hwy 9 past Red Gulch!! I bet you could hit 70... The extra weight's gotta help too; that big sucker's gotta weigh an extra pound!!
Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...
Wait, so now poseurs are supposed to have heavier equipment??? I just can't keep up with the poseurs anymore.
"Wait, so now poseurs are supposed to have heavier equipment??? I just can't keep up with the poseurs anymore."
- - If you're looking for logic, the looney ward ain't your best pickins, know what I mean Verne?
Besides, we're poseurs, we KNOW we're not going to win, but how cool is it to pass people by virtue of a) having a heavy machine that takes full advantage of gravity and b) having a heavy machine that let's the babes get ahead of you going UP the hill?
Post race line: "Yeah, that was me rippin' down the back side of that hill. I couldn't read my dials because I didn't dare take my eyes of the road, but I figure 75, maybe 80. Wanna come to my place later and see my PoseurCranks®; you know it takes a real man to push a 58..."
Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...
Thanks Kenney, I just spit coffe all over my computer screen. I shouldn't read these before I wake up totally
Jim
**Note above poster works for a retailer selling bikes and related gear*
After awakening the morning, still laughing about Kenny and the cuke, I suddenly had a flash of insight... I am definitely a poseur, just not a real good one:
My training bike, on which I don't race anymore, was once my only bike (up until last summer) and it has a triple. To get a little more speed on downhills (since I suck at climbing) I replaced the 52 with a 55. Great gear spread, LOTS of tweaking to get the damned thing to shift, but it works pretty well as a 55/42. The 30 is just there for winter training when I'm climbing and trying to keep my HR down, or doing the last climb back up to my house and not wanting to red line. I have to be careful shifting up from or down to the 30.
So it isn't 58, but it's a BIG ring. I'll have to consider whether I could get it to shift with anything bigger. I wanted the "Dura Ace" 56, but at the time I couldn't afford it. Probably for the best, because I had to do some custom grinding to raise the front cage high enough to use the 55.
One reason I didn't hang the 56 DA on there was that I thought I would look too much like a poser with that and drop bars and clip ons. That was before I realized my best chance to excel at anything was as a poseur!!
They have a division for fat guys (Clydes) why not a division for Poseurs. They could call it the "Spuds" division. Anyone can enter to compete as a Spud, as long as your bike (and accoutrements - that's a French word, btw, very big with poseurs...) cost more than $4000 and your body fat is over 20%.
Awards in the Spuds division could include Krispy Kreme gift certificates, and one free year of bike waxing and detailing...
Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...