That's a great story.

I was swimming laps, and all the other lanes were empty. At the end of my lane, I had my kick board, fins, buoy, extra goggles, etc...

As I turn to my side to breathe, I catch a glimpse of a tall, thin (but muscular) young man walking towards the lanes. As I reach the end of my lane, he is standing over my lane like he is about to hop in. Of course, with all the other lanes empty, I thought "WTH, why doesn't he use one of the other lanes?!?!?". But, I also figured I'm not going to let this ruin my workout, so I kept swimming.

I do my flip turn, at the other end, and as I approach the end where I spotted him above my lane, I can see a pair of legs (his) in the water (in my lane). As I get closer, I can also see that he has on my flippers, and my pool buoy between his legs. At this point, I am getting pissed. It gets worse when I pop up out of the water and see that he is also wearing my extra googles.

Right before I say anything to him, he looks at me, and with the softest voice says "you wanna race?". I didn't know what to think, but I could tell by the way he spoke that he meant no harm in what he was doing. His mom then came into the pool area and saw us standing there. She explained he had a brain injury......it's been awhile but I believe that's what he had..........and basically functions at the level of a child (even though he was around 20). She said he loves the water and loves being around other people. She also apologized to me but I told her "there's no need to apologize. If he wants to race, we can race". So, I got in the other lane beside him, his mom did a countdown, and then we "raced". He couldn't swim very well but I made sure he won going both directions. He was very excited. After our "race", his mom whispered "thank you" to me and then she took him to the outdoor pool where people were not lap swimming.

That was a good day.

On three different occasions I bonked heads with swimmers going the other way on the IM swim course in Kona. No the course wasn't busy at all. I was alone and so were they.

A wild rabbit almost crashed me once.

Edit: in the same vein of Dr OP: was sharing a lane with an 8 year old asian kid. He was way way faster than me. Nevertheless his dad was by the poolside yelling in Mandarin. I don't speak Mandarin but I knew what he was saying: go faster! Finally dad said in perfect English: go faster or no dessert.

That's a great story.

I was swimming laps, and all the other lanes were empty. At the end of my lane, I had my kick board, fins, buoy, extra goggles, etc...

As I turn to my side to breathe, I catch a glimpse of a tall, thin (but muscular) young man walking towards the lanes. As I reach the end of my lane, he is standing over my lane like he is about to hop in. Of course, with all the other lanes empty, I thought "WTH, why doesn't he use one of the other lanes?!?!?". But, I also figured I'm not going to let this ruin my workout, so I kept swimming.

I do my flip turn, at the other end, and as I approach the end where I spotted him above my lane, I can see a pair of legs (his) in the water (in my lane). As I get closer, I can also see that he has on my flippers, and my pool buoy between his legs. At this point, I am getting pissed. It gets worse when I pop up out of the water and see that he is also wearing my extra googles.

Right before I say anything to him, he looks at me, and with the softest voice says "you wanna race?". I didn't know what to think, but I could tell by the way he spoke that he meant no harm in what he was doing. His mom then came into the pool area and saw us standing there. She explained he had a brain injury......it's been awhile but I believe that's what he had..........and basically functions at the level of a child (even though he was around 20). She said he loves the water and loves being around other people. She also apologized to me but I told her "there's no need to apologize. If he wants to race, we can race". So, I got in the other lane beside him, his mom did a countdown, and then we "raced". He couldn't swim very well but I made sure he won going both directions. He was very excited. After our "race", his mom whispered "thank you" to me and then she took him to the outdoor pool where people were not lap swimming.

That was a good day.

That's a really cool story. I like hearing these types of stories to make us check ourselves and what simple things we can do to help others. I'm sure that Mom will not forget that day, hopefully the "kid" doesn't either.

That's a great story.

I was swimming laps, and all the other lanes were empty. At the end of my lane, I had my kick board, fins, buoy, extra goggles, etc...

As I turn to my side to breathe, I catch a glimpse of a tall, thin (but muscular) young man walking towards the lanes. As I reach the end of my lane, he is standing over my lane like he is about to hop in. Of course, with all the other lanes empty, I thought "WTH, why doesn't he use one of the other lanes?!?!?". But, I also figured I'm not going to let this ruin my workout, so I kept swimming.

I do my flip turn, at the other end, and as I approach the end where I spotted him above my lane, I can see a pair of legs (his) in the water (in my lane). As I get closer, I can also see that he has on my flippers, and my pool buoy between his legs. At this point, I am getting pissed. It gets worse when I pop up out of the water and see that he is also wearing my extra googles.

Right before I say anything to him, he looks at me, and with the softest voice says "you wanna race?". I didn't know what to think, but I could tell by the way he spoke that he meant no harm in what he was doing. His mom then came into the pool area and saw us standing there. She explained he had a brain injury......it's been awhile but I believe that's what he had..........and basically functions at the level of a child (even though he was around 20). She said he loves the water and loves being around other people. She also apologized to me but I told her "there's no need to apologize. If he wants to race, we can race". So, I got in the other lane beside him, his mom did a countdown, and then we "raced". He couldn't swim very well but I made sure he won going both directions. He was very excited. After our "race", his mom whispered "thank you" to me and then she took him to the outdoor pool where people were not lap swimming.

That was a good day.

There is a thread about bowel movements during runs that has some of the best stories (not feel good but rotflol stories) this is from @bryan d back in 2015 page 2 and is the single best story in the thread

https://forum.slowtwitch.com/..._mid_run_P5580857-2/


BryanD Jun 11, 15 9:59 Post #44 of 392
I remember the day this happened to me. I will never forget it.

I had eaten Mexican food before my run. I was only planning on doing 6 miles. The lake near my house has a nice paved 3 mile run loop through the woods. The first mile I felt fine. The second mile, I could feel some gas building up. The trail is saturated with people. By people, I mean lots of women and a few men. A 10:1 ratio almost. A lot of these girls went to the same university I did. Here I am at mile 2 and the bathroom is located at mile 3. My stomach is furious. It was unhappy that I had given it such delicious Mexican food and then I bounced it around for 2 miles.

I felt such an intense pressure in my bowels. I tried to fart it out. It was such a huge pressure relief. Trying to fart while running around a bunch of girls and moms is not an easy process. Stealth farts only work for a bit.

The pressure is now gone. I'm jogging again and suddenly my stomach just punches me hard and goes, yep, it's time for you to take one massive shit. I was terrified. I'm at mile 2 with 1 mile to go. There's people everywhere.

My first thought is jump in the lake and just let it out. But then, that would look weird. People would be wondering why this random guy is in the lake. I tried to walk. Have you ever tried to walk while holding back a massive flood of shit? I looked awful walking and the looks people gave me let me know they knew. They could see the terror in my eyes.

I was looking for my girlfriend. I was hoping she wouldn't find me in such a bad situation. I tried farting to relieve some pressure and felt some slippage. Fear turned to panic. I knew I wouldn't make it.

I stopped walking and stood looking at the lake. My stomach was making horrible noises and I was in pain. People were passing me oblivious to the shit storm that was coming.

Then, I saw the tree. THE TREE. The one tree that would save me. I walked fast up to this glorious, wonderful tree and it looked big enough to shield me from the runners. I had a quick decision to make. Do I unload on this poor tree or keep walking and hope for the best? I timed it just right. There weren't any runners around me that would hear the coming battle between me and my stomach.

As the pain hit me again, I dropped my running shorts and destroyed that tree. I heard people coming and thought "Why me, why today, of all places"? I was terrified someone would see and recognize me in such a vulnerable state. I unleashed everything I had on that poor tree as fast as possible. Then, I looked up and saw the people in the house in front of the tree.

I couldn't tell if they were looking at me or if they even saw me. I mean, it's pretty hard to miss a guy in a white running shirt with black shorts just shitting on your tree in your yard. I felt amazing. I pulled my shorts up, covered up the giant pile of poo with leaves and sticks and jumped back on the trail which was literally 3 feet away.

All is good I thought. I figured I had ruined my running shorts and that people could smell the horrible leftovers that may have skidmarked my shorts. My strategy was to run as far to the left and right as possible of any person I came around on the trail. I would give them at least 2 feet in hopes that wouldn't smell me. I'm sure I looked ridiculous as I ran off and on the trail trying desperately to find my girlfriend and get to my car.

I'm now about 0.25 miles away from the poor tree that was left to suffer. I was happy, carefree, and laughing on the inside about what happened. At that very moment, my stomach said HELLO AGAIN, IT'S TIME TO FIGHT!

That's when fear turned to panic once again as this pain told me that I had seconds to find another tree. I was sweating bad. This train of poo was coming, and it was coming fast.

I saw 2 guys and 2 girls grilling out on their back porch. I said to myself, "well, you have already pooed on tree on a public trail in front of someones house", "go ask to use their bathroom"

So I ran up to them trying to hold back the poo train. I said "Hi, my names Bryan, and I have to shit really bad. I just shit on a tree in front of someone's house about 3 minutes ago. Can I please use your bathroom or I'm going to jump in the lake."

The guy looked at me confused at first and the women were horrified. He goes "quick, this way." He ran to his bathroom and showed me the way. It was the most beautiful toilet I have ever seen in my life.

The guys dog chased me to the bathroom and was clawing at the door. I heard him growling and sniffing as the poo train left the station rapidly. I'm pretty sure that toilet will never be the same again. The dog took one big sniff and he ran away outside. Dog problem solved! I finished up and went back outside and told them "thank you for letting me destroy your toilet. I'm pretty sure the Hazmat team should be called and FEMA might call this a disaster zone. Please don't go in there for a bit, even the dog couldn't handle it" They laughed so hard, shook my hand, and now after the 2nd most awkward moment of my day, I jogged back to the trail with a fresh, clean butthole.

I found my girlfriend at the 3 mile mark. She goes "Where are you, I've been looking for you". I said, "We need to leave, RIGHT NOW!"She was confused and we jogged to the car. We get inside the car and she said "What's wrong, why did we have to leave so quick" I then explained to her the 2 Code Brown situations and how we must leave immediately.

She laughed so hard and I told her we would never again speak of that day again.

*In Champaign-Urbana, Il, a very large ranch-like property on a well-bike-traveled road on the way out of town had a pretty loud and unnerving handful of pets who would chase you across the long property.

Being a few miles from where most of us live, my friends (who are probably on this site somewhere) dubbed them "The Three Mile Dogs."

The Reaper doesn't scream --- just whispers; which can be more terrifying, really

"Come with me. It is time"

The runner who we helped out at that past race was at this one volunteering, and he wanted to shake hands and wish me well. Luckily, he didn't need to return the favor and call an ambulance for me.