That is the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard... ...but if you can guarantee me a Kona Slot...

I tried. Satan didn't show up. I make a mdot pentagram and stuff....nothing happened. That's why i asked.

I had the race number 666 once. Still missed the podium by a slot. Should have sacrificed something I guess.

I had bib # 666 at the Camp Pendleton Sprint Tri a few years ago, one of my best runs.

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

Not sure about Satanism in triathlons, but Satanic weight lifting is a big thing apparently.

Personally, I turn to Norwegian black metal whenever I need a soundtrack to some of the more painful indoor bike workouts.

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Next races on the schedule: none at the moment

  

When my wife asks me why I signed up for another Ironman I reply: the devil made me do it.

Does that count?


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Once, I was fast. But I got over it.

Not triathletes.

Followed the link and the first post there was on how the Vegan Satanic Bodybuilders are making sure that the protein they take is truly vegan.

That's akin to posting a question on ST about how everyone is making sure not to get the spills and sweat on their tri suits during the races, so that it looks chrisp for the finisher photo?

I have been hoping to sell my soul for triathlon glory but Satan has yet to make me an offer.
He is probably too busy helping Lionel Sanders, Alistair Brownlee and Javier Gomez.
And he can't be bother with a nobody like me.

Now is a good a time as ever to say Nuclear War Now is a good label and Yosuke, the proprietor, is a decent guy.

The pricing of souls is a mystery to me.

There are probably lots of people out there who would be will willing to sell their souls for an Olympic medal or a world championship title.
Probably, many more volunteers than there are Olympic and world title medals!

So how does this work?
Does Satan only except offers from people who are reasonable close to winning anyway?
Or can you make up for your lack of ability in other ways?

What if Satan can't find anyone great for a certain title and he awards privileges to a lesser athlete?
What if the better athletes change their mind and decide that they are willing to sell their souls afterwards?
Does Satan get to renege on the contract?
Clearly it is less work helping great athletes win!

If all of the good titles are taken up by more talented people, can you sell a fraction of your soul for lesser title?
I mean you wouldn't sell your soul for a first place age group finish at the local Turkey Trot would you?

Satan, if you are listening. Here is my price scale. I will sell:

100% of my soul for an Olympic Medal or Tour de France victory (no take backs)
75% of my soul for an ITU world championship, major marathon win, major cycling tour win, individual world championship swimming or distance running medal
50% for any ITU win, or a top three in any marathon major or major cycling tour or world championship
etc.

10% for an age group win at an Olympic distance triathlon world championship or Ironman.

No doubt my prices are a little high- given my lack of talent.
But eternity in the lake of fire, is liable to be more unpleasant than having to explain to my friends why I didn't win the Olympics this year.

So make me an offeer

I just realized there is another problem with these agreements.

Is getting outside assistance from Satan cheating?
If so then wouldn't it invalidate ones victories?
(I tend to think it would).

And if one knows that one won by cheating, it wouldn't really feel like much of a victory.
So whats the point?

I suppose that Satan could erase my memory. That way I wouldn't remember cheating and the victory would feel real.

I hope that this hasn't already happened.
I am not really all that happy with my results. I think I should have asked for higher placing.

  
Inside Triathlon reports the USAT has begun testing all 2016 Kona Qualifiers for Satanical Doping?

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"If everything seems in control, you aren't going fast enough" -- Mario Andretti

You have to turn it upside down to realize its full potential

Wait,,,

Or is that the 999 bib?

I get it. Ya know, since Kona is ridiculously hot. Like hot as...

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Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/

The last guy who fell for that didn't read the fine print.

Sometimes the Devil is willing to make a deal. Just ask Johnny.

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My Blog - http://leegoocrap.blogspot.com

We had a pre-planned trip to Kuma Burger to eat a Ghost burger after the Chicago marathon. Had PB during the run and the burger was amazing.

Let's just say that if I did not now what a die hard edition was, I'd've had a much nicer collection of bikes.

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Next races on the schedule: none at the moment

I think Satan can fire you mid-season...

Hopefully he has trucker hats!

Now this is the way to adapt Faust for the modern triathlon audience. Goethe, eat your heart out!

I had the race #666 once, but my performance was only mid-pack.