A few things right up front here:
1. Omloop is only 9 months away.
2. I love France.
3. I've had a few dust ups with the indiginous populants over the years. A bike box thing in Toulouse, a waiter in the Pyrenees. Parisians who speak English mo better than me and take snobbery to new heights. Respect, yo.
4. It's okay because, per number deux, it's a helluva country with big ass mountains to ride and climb and ski and then get hammered on great wine and cheese and pig entrails, etc. Point being, there's no free lunch. But I am going to make fun of them every chance I get.
Things we can count on:
1. Bad calls by the commissaires. Someone will get sent packing and they may not be French.
2. There will be large crashes because the road is small and the field is big with race directors screaming move up move up and someone will fly off into a cow pasture as a french farmer looks on, shaking his head in disgust.
3. There will be farmers on strike.
4. The podium ladies will be spectacular. No grand tour can touch them. And if anyone else does, le Badger will punch them out. (sidebar: Hinault was definitely tough but let's face it, tough for a former cyclist not tough for, say, pro rugby. He's not going to come after a former New Zealand All Black...)
5. The Brit announcers will say "Chwis Fwoome" every 45 seconds.
6. Sean Kelly will fall asleep mid sentence during a sprint stage.
7. There will be sunflowers.
8. The cat will be amongst the pigeons and lots of people will be in a spot of bother.
9. A fan will run alongside and fall flat on his face.
10. I miss Paul Sherwen. Class dude.
Who is going to win? No idea, don't really care but a podium with Uran, Bardet and Domoulin would be cool. Not going to happen. It may be Ineos, Ineos and Ineos. I want to see Thomas De Gendt get a stage, Ben King get a stage, Sagan return to form, Cav have a good ride but even when he was at his peak, he couldn't get over the Tourmalet. Nibali is riding? Somebody call a doctor?
Allez.