Was anyone else raised to fear being rude? Are parents still teaching the golden rule and being an example? It's so sad.

---

customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

not sure...I was taught to say hi, thank you, goodbye, give my seat to an older person in the bus etc...
seems like this is just not 'fashionable' anymore...

thanks to ironclm, I remember a couple more...

people kicking your seat at the movie even though you ask politely that they stop

people speaking out loud during a movie, talking on a cell phone...

See... that's when coming from a third-world country and being used to be really loud comes handy... ;-)

---

-
"Yeah, no one likes a smartass, but we all like stars" - Thom Yorke


smartasscoach.tri-oeiras.com

I am ill to say that we Texans are loosing our manors at a horrifying pace. We used to take honor and pride in our ideas of politness and fair play. Now the outside world is destroying us from with in.

---

customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

[reply]thanks to ironclm, I remember a couple more...

talking on a cell phone...[/reply]

ARRRHHHH!!! Another peeve!
As I live in the city, I ride the bus every day. The commute "yuppie" bus is the worst for people yabbering into their cellphones about EVERYTHING including the most personal details of their and their friends lives. I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHO YOUR FRIEND SCREWED! SHUT THE F UP!

Thanks Francois! I'm off to sparring soon. This will fire me up. ;-)

---

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

Interesting.

I am always polite and formal with strangers with a few exceptions given the context during which I am polite but more familiar in my vernacular. Living in a town that is significantly Middle Eastern in nationality means I do well to adapt the customs of the region, including the attendant formalities surrounding elders and females as well as associates. I maintain those.

I am courteous and polite to friends, of course. They are my friends.

For the girl I may be dating, when there is one, I am very cordial- of course. I walk on the side of the sidewalk closest the street, hold doors, and always let the waiter take her order first and do not close my menu until she has hers. I would never start eating before her, and always pull her chiar out which in this day and age actually is sometimes awkward. Some younger females are unfamiliar with this convention.

For customers I take a que from my good friend Hugh Templeman of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel Chain. I treat ladies and gentlemen like ladies and gentlemen.

When someone tries to extort me or take advantage of me I am polite but ruthless. And utterly unapologetic.

---

Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com

"I am polite but ruthless."

The best combination. Nothing is more unnerving then a man who will not loose his cool.

---

customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

So true, but what is the resolution to this problem? :(

People on cell phones while driving and not paying attention to anything else around them

---

*Your Mama*

I do not see politeness and common courtesy being taught to kids today. I have a daughter who is ten, and I talk to her frequently about what I expect from her, and being polite is just about at the top of the list. However, I don't think that is the norm these days.

All last week I took a continuing education class, and I was appalled by some of the things I saw in class. People coming in to class late, talking, leaving cell phones on, doing the crossword puzzle in class, wearing shower flip-flops to class. During one ten minute break, a guy ran to McDonald's to get breakfast, came back 10 minutes late, then sat in class and ate breakfast.

I'm only 43, and I feel like my grandpa, complaining about the kids of today.

It's all because of the TV dinner.......

http://www.usatoday.com/...0-thomas-death_x.htm

Three weeks ago I had a woman (pumping her Lexus at a La Jolla gas station) tell me to get off my cell phone while I was pumping gas, I told here it was an urban legend ... she was adamant ... I just laughed, told here to check out snopes


http://www.snopes.com/...hazards/gasvapor.asp

So true. I have liquid nitrogen in my veins.

---

Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com

One of my biggest pet peeves is rudeness or lack of regard for others. It pretty much disgusts me to no end the degree to which someone will indicate just how little you mean to them. You hit on several of them, but the one that gets me all the time is the holding of the door!!

I grew up in the Midwest where if someone held the door you said thank you and in times of big crowds (i.e. movies) would even take a turn of a few people at the door. If you were the one holding the door you would in turn receive thanks of eventually relief.

Here in AZ I have watched as mothers holding small children fight with a door while able bodied 30 somethings look on apparently thinking how much it much suck to have to hold a child and open a door. I have even seen this my wife and I am very quick to open my mouth regarding this offense. I will let someone know that they allowed a heavy door to close on either me or my wife while pushing a stroller. But I digress.

I have seen the politeness factor fizzle out in areas that I though I never would. Tom mentioned some customs while at dinner. I practice many myself including insisting that all the women at the table order before any of the men. This is my modest attempt at politeness and I am truly baffled when a server attempts to take my order before my wife or any other female guest. I will also wait until all those seated at the table have received their food before I will eat, even when someone waiting insists that I eat, just how I was raised.

But the one that I get a kick out of is my persistent use of sir and ma'am. The look of some on some of the faces of 19 and 20 year olds when I call them ma'am is priceless. Most seem to be flattered and only a few will let me know that they are younger than me. But, again, politeness and tradition for me.

Someone asked what is the answer to the decline of politeness. In my opinion it is a reintroduction of politeness with our children. Mine will know that they are to say yes instead of yeah when talking to an adult. That they will look the person in the eye and not at the floor when they are talking, and that should they need to interrupt they will begin by politely saying "Excuse me".

I have seen some pretty flagrant violations of politeness at tris too unfortunately. Small things such as taking up too much room at an already crowded rack citing first to arrive priveleges. Those who choose to ride on the left, and run without regard to others. I do my best to say thank you to anyone that I may pass on the bike, because they are likely to pass me on the run!

Hopefully we will see a renewed interest in politeness, manners, and regard for others with our children's generation.

---

----------------------------------------------------

Formally azclydesdale, back in Northeast Ohio.

I think its more than just a lack of politeness or rudeness....I think its an utter lack of consideration for others. So many people are utterly oblivious to others around them, and could not care less about anything that does not affect them. I think we are seeing the effect of the "me" generation raising kids, who are following in their footsteps.

---

___________________________________________________
Taco cat spelled backwards is....taco cat.

I'd have to agree with you on the kid thing. I've taught my kids to call grown-ups "Mr. and Miss so and so." I hate it when the 8-year old neighbor kid calls me Paul and yet my sons call their mom "Miss Jackie." You'd think they got the hint. I would rather have my kids be very polite and considerate than very smart or competitive (not that they are exclusive).

"have no manners...It's not just in France ;-) "

Actually, as a Canuk we generally view ourselves as being more polite than our southern US neighbors, but I don't really view it as rudeness, just the social norms are a bit different.

For example I was visiting my best friend in Philadelphia not that long ago. We were lost downtown and he walked up to a guy and said something like "hey Bud, where's XYZ Street?". Up here a more typical way of asking would be "excuse me sir, sorry to trouble you, but where might I find XYZ Street?"

At first I cringed, but they guy wasn't in the slightest bit offended and responded very helpfully telling us where XYZ Street was. Made me realize my friend wasn't being rude at all, at least not by Philly standards.

What's considered rude in one place may not be considered so in another.

"I have liquid nitrogen in my veins. "

Man I admire you more and more.

---

customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

People who honk their horns while I reload.

---

**All of these words finding themselves together were greatly astonished and delighted for assuredly, they had never met before**

Well, I am happy to see I am not the only one...I was started thinking that maybe my parents were really old fashioned and taught me 19th century manners! ;-)

Agree with Spot on 'lack of respect' for anyone but your little self...I made this point in my original point...Lack of respect for anything actually...

I omitted dumping stuff out of the car while driving (cigarette butts, papers) or while riding (gel packs...I said something during a ride a while back and the guy said something like 'oh where should I put it smartass'....huh?? in your pocket for example?)...

Maybe people think they look tougher if they are oblivious and rude...

sooo true. Check out the self important, empowered thirty something mothers with their massive baby carriers walking, with their friends, three abreast on the footpath.

Are they going to move over for you and share the space?

Yeah right...

---

kiwipat

per ardua ad astra

Tom,

Sorry to chime in on this so late in the day:

<< I walk on the side of the sidewalk closest the street, >>

I have actually had to take a class on etiquette. It was when I was in college, and part of my fraternity. I had never understood why a man walks on the street side of a lady.

It turns out that in the "olden" days, there were no curbs. Cars passing by during and after rainstorms would splash the ladies dresses. The man was supposed to block the water from hitting the woman. Another variation of this was that it is easier to push a person out the path of an on-coming car (without pushing them into traffic) rather than try to pull them out of the way.

I always did it because my father said that's what gentlemen do.

---

*****
It's a dry heat!

Quiz for Gentlemen

Q1: when you go to the restaurant, who gets in first?

Q2: if you are going up or down some stairs, who is walking up/down first?