How not to be a poser (sarcasm)

Jul 2, 04 11:08

Post #1 of 18 (3843 views)

Here's a few suggestions

1) Use a CH Aero disc cover instead of a Zipp disc. It's just as fast but the posers don't realize it.

2) Purchase "Jokely's" sunglasses. I've got a pair. They look just like the real Oakley's but are cheap look alike imitation copies made in Taiwan. Bought them in a Korean owned convenience store for a few bucks They even say "Oakley" on them

3) Take the decals off your bike. Then nobody would recognize what you're riding.

Any body else got some suggestions.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 11:11

Post #2 of 18 (3834 views)

I typically wear my snowboarding helmet and goggles when I race. Others won't ask any questions...in fact... they won't even talk to me.

...but it's a dry heat...

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 11:13

Post #3 of 18 (3824 views)

wear a g-string and a snorkel?

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Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 11:25

Post #4 of 18 (3788 views)

In Reply To:

Here's a few suggestions

2) Purchase "Jokely's" sunglasses. I've got a pair. They look just like the real Oakley's but are cheap look alike imitation copies made in Taiwan. Bought them in a Korean owned convenience store for a few bucks They even say "Oakley" on them

The ones I saw at the gas station say "Oakly", not "Oakley", or some such slight misspelling.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 11:27

Post #5 of 18 (3766 views)

Ride a Walmart bike and make sure to point out to everyone that you ride a Walmart bike and that makes you better. Then lecture people on what is right or wrong for them.

customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 11:49

Post #6 of 18 (3734 views)

During the bike, reach in the back pocket of your cutoff jean shorts and pull out a pack of soggy Marbloros. Place one in mouth. Ride up next to closest "real" triathlete and ask if he's got a light.

To save money on energy gels, "steal" a bunch of packets of hot sauce from Taco Bell when you're there for your pre-race meal.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 11:51

Post #7 of 18 (3726 views)

I've always thought about having some really bad-ass bike built up, and then making it look like a Wal Mart bike... putting NEXT (or Huffy, or whatever) logos on the frame, and warning stickers all over the place, streamers and a bell for sure. I'd probably also wear something inappropriate or tops and bottoms not matching to race on it.

Damn, though... the only way to make it all work is for me to be really fast and kick everyone's ass on it... that'll never happen!!!

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [Quadzilla] [ In reply to ]

Matt B

Jul 2, 04 11:56

Post #8 of 18 (3708 views)

I'm doing my next race with a lip full of Copenhagen.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 11:57

Post #9 of 18 (3702 views)

In Reply To:

Any body else got some suggestions.

Yeah. Shut up already.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [slick] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 13:20

Post #10 of 18 (3653 views)

"Yeah. Shut up already. "
Slick, been expecting you since it's Friday night. This is always your night to post. Guess they let out on a weekend pass again?

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [Matt Boutte] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 15:15

Post #11 of 18 (3603 views)

"I'm doing my next race with a lip full of Copenhagen."
- - Great idea, I bet nobody drafts off you!!

Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [Saber] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 16:05

Post #12 of 18 (3574 views)

I wanna run a full set of reflectors on the wheels and front and back reflectors, but I can't find a set in carbon with titanium hardware.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 16:47

Post #13 of 18 (3539 views)

Toe clips and black Doc Martens.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 17:10

Post #14 of 18 (3522 views)

In Reply To:

Here's a few suggestions

1) Use a CH Aero disc cover instead of a Zipp disc. It's just as fast but the posers don't realize it.

Just got back from watching the Fitchburg-Longsjo opening time trial. Someone in the Pro-1-2 TT was using a CH cover.

Last edited by: skater: Jul 2, 04 17:11

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [skater] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 17:18

Post #15 of 18 (3518 views)

"Just got back from watching the Fitchburg-Longsjo opening time trial. Someone in the Pro-1-2 TT was using a CH cover. "

He's an informed rider. Kraig Willet tested a CH Aero cover against a Zipp disc in a wind tunnel and the CH Aero was 9 seconds FASTER over 40 kms. I'd assume it's a function of lenticular vs flat shape. This info was available for $4.95 on his now defunct pay site.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [Mr. Tibbs] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 19:47

Post #16 of 18 (3486 views)

I think instead of a bento box on the Walmart bike you use a big ass grandma basket filled with Little Debbie Snack Cakes and your homemade aerobottle...a two liter of Coke with a straw taped in place with duct tape.

Instead of a $400 wetsuit use your homemade wetsuit made out of bubblewrap and duct tape....but besure to make it out of one of the big roles that has perforated sheets for quick removal at T1. And a swim cap made out of a combination of saran and bubble wrap. This works for you in several ways...keeping you warm, floatation, and protection in aggresive swims.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [Quadzilla] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 20:08

Post #17 of 18 (3477 views)

Marlboros hell...the next race I'm gonna spank some guy on my kid's BMX with a big fat stogey hangin outta my face. That'll surely teach that poser. Goddamn posers. Who do they think they are, anyway?!!! Get outta my way. I'm a REAL triathlete. How does it feel to get smoked while you're on that Montello/Campy rocket? What are you? A lawyer or something? Who puts a bike rack on a Porche anyway? You don't even have good cables on that bike. You must not really know anything about cycling. I'll bet you can't even spell Cervelo. Poser. And what are those? Racing flats? You weigh 195 lbs and you wear racing flats? Poser. Obviously. My grandma runs faster than you in her sunday heels. Poser. Get outta my way. You don't deserve to be out here. The only reason you're out here is to have something to talk about next week at the board meeting. Do you even know who Mark Allen is? No? Poser. You're not a real triathlete. Go home.

hey, that felt kinda good. Maybe the anti-poser jackasses are onto something!

NOT.

Re: How not to be a poser (sarcasm) [TriBriGuy] [ In reply to ]

Jul 2, 04 20:11

Post #18 of 18 (3472 views)

And what are those? Racing flats? You weigh 195 lbs and you wear racing flats? Poser.

laugh

"your horse is too high" - tigerchik

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