Been there.

I always tell her that she should not feel bad about herself, that if she is doing a good job sticking to her program, that she should be proud of that, that if she stays with it, her program will work, that what anyone happens to weigh when they step on the scale is maybe good to +/- 2lbs (at best) so she probably did lose two or three pounds of fat this week (and probably lost the same amount last week) but that the scale just doesn't show it very well.

This never works but at least its all true.

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Anyone who tells you they're as fast now as they were when they were 18...
sure wasn't very fast when they were 18.

Lets see, 4.5 first week, 0.4 pounds second week equals 4.9 pounds in two weeks. Divide by two and viola--2.5ish pounds per week of weight loss.

Tell her micromanaging weightloss is a guaranteed path to failure. Take a long-term, big picture approach.

Brett

P.S. Women don't listen to advise...

Repeat after me "You look GREAT, Honey! You're doing a great job. I'm so proud of you. Want to go buy some new shoes?"

That is all she needs to hear, no advice, just supportive words of encouragement.

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Have you hugged Your Mom today?

you should buy her a TREADMILL!! that'll get her motivated ;)

The way I rode my bike like a bitch, sucking wheel today qualifies me as a woman.

Just assure her that weighing herself means very little. Over time there is a general trend, but week to week it means nothing. I weigh myself everytime I go to the gym, just for kicks. I weighed on Friday, then proceeded to put in 130 miles on the bike over the weekend, and weighed 2 pounds heavier on Monday. It means nothing, regular weighing is useless. She should look for other markers like body appearance and clothes fitting looser. These things don't show up over time, but stay the course, it will inevitably happen, it always does.

Your job is positive reinforcement. Complimenting her on her efforts and that you are very proud of her, and you look to her as an example. When she falls off the wagon, be there to help her get through it. Let her know that you notice a difference and she will likely keep at it, but that is all you can do, the rest is up to her. And that is something that she should really be proud of, that her weight loss is all her.

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"What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind and body can achieve; and those who stay will be champions."

Tell her she's hot, SHOW her she's sexy.

ooooooh - excellant advice, jackattack! Proud of you!

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Have you hugged Your Mom today?

This is the story of my life. My friends were ready to kill me because I weighed all the time and complained every time I found I had not lost as much weight as I thought I should have. All I can say is that SHE LOST .4 POUNDS LAST WEEK! That is success. Add that to the 4.5 from the previous week and Mrs. Tibbs is doing great. I always have to remind myself that as long as I am staying on my program, I am successful. Some weeks she may do everything right and find that she has a gain. That's when you really have to watch out.

I started training because I figured that every minute I was working out was one more minute away from the trough.

 
Since she's walking and exercising, it's very possible she's building muscle mass. Muscles are relatively dense and therefore, will cause an increase in weight. This is a GOOD increase since muscles are good.

Martin

Change is evolutionary, not revolutionary.

The process of getting in shape is not a destination but a process. Tell her she is not on a diet but going through a lifestyle change and that what is important is that she is doing the right things now and the results will be there.

It also would not hurt to tell her that you love her(flowers always help).

Make sure she knows that weight fluctuates significantly. I used to lose 4 pounds in a 2.5 hour football practice during Augest even when I was drinking a lot (I sweat.... a lot). If tracking her weight is important to her, suggest that she do so early in the morning before eating, and after having gone to the bathroom. That should give her somewhat more stable results.

Also make sure she knows that 4.5 lbs a week is an unreasonable goal. With each pound of fat storing 3500 calories, she would need to be burning 15750 more calories than she's consuming over the course of the week. Essentially, she would have to be riding with the tour or eating nothing at all in order to acheive that rate. 1 lb/ week (500 calories/ day) is a reasonable goal, and anything more than that can start to be unhealthy. Good luck.

Good advice.

Even better: throw in a dozen roses and a nice dinner out to convince her of her success.

Two things to keep in mind: Sodium intake & female hormones have a HUGE affect on weekly weight loss (i.e. WATER RETENTION). As I was losing over 130 lbs over the course of 2 years, I found that during the middle 2 weeks of my cycle (I am on birth control pills), the scale would not budge no matter how well I was sticking to my diet. Then on the "rest" week - free of hormones, that darn scale would drop 5-6 pounds. Very frustrating if I tried to look at my weight on a daily basis. Instead I focused on the weight loss over a month, always using the weight on the first day of a new pack of pills as the benchmark. That kept me sane and on track.

Now I am focused on just maintaining and find I really have to watch my sodium intake as I find that if I get too much sodium, I can easily retain 4-5 pounds of fluid (could be useful if I ever wanted to do a marathon or an Ironman).

I like that other person's comment about telling her she looks HOT and acting on it!!! My husband's key phrase is "I love you and you look terrific!".

Regina

This is always a dangerous area for a man to venture into.

I agree with another poster who said that, too many women( and men) tend to micro-mange weight-loss and fitness. Better to look at the big picture and know that with a good, healthy eating and physical activity that your body will stabilise over time at "your weight".

Of course I can never say this directly to someone - a women in particular, because I am an ectomorphic freak who when I "retired" from heavy training a number of years ago actually lost weight!!

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Steve Fleck @stevefleck | Blog

IF she is the kind of person that can respond to Logic, she just needs to be reminded that weight is one of, if not THE most crude measurement of body composition of all. I'm very much overweight for my height. However, my percent body fat is about 7%. So, the scale tells me nothing other than my hydration status at the moment, and that I'm hauling around more muscle than is ideal for an endurance athlete (unless there is a fight at the awards ceremony).

If she isn't a Logic-responder, tell her it's more important how her clothes fit. If she's lost fat the past two weeks, she'll look better in something that she usually wears...and if you are fortunate enough to know something that she looks good in ANYWAY, have her put it on for you and praise her...even if it is a bald-faced lie.

Good luck. You'll need it. Um, just in case things go bad, is your dog house waterproof? Might be prudent to check that out first...

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Quid quid latine dictum sit altum videtur
(That which is said in Latin sounds profound)

Tell her she's hot, SHOW her she's sexy.

This, Tibbs, is the best advice. Matt demonstrates true genius- take heed.

What kind of program/diet/whatever is your wife following?

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"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."

>>The way I rode my bike like a bitch, sucking wheel today qualifies me as a woman<<

It's comments like this that keep me kicking all the guy's asses in our weekend rides.

But Tibbs, let me echo what everyone else has said on this thread. Weight loss takes time and patience and there are plateaus. Also, her increased activity may mean she is gaining muscle while losing fat, this won't be reflected in the number on the scale.

Leigh

Well, um, could you please help me remove my foot from my mouth?

what I meant was, well, ... hell, just forget it - go ride like you have a pair (balls, boobs, whatever) and kick some guys (or girls) ass...



Was that more PC?

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"What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind and body can achieve; and those who stay will be champions."

No worries, just pulling your leg...sort of...

Tell her to throw out the scale! Seriously. It can be really un-nerving to see the numbers fluctuate on the scale (which is normal) I weigh myself once a quarter, and get my body fat tested every 6-8 weeks using the same manner by the same person every time.

And, never, ever, ever say anything negative about her appearance. :o)

She is doing wieght watchers with her team at work. The problem is she has reached the limit on her weight affecting every part of her life. The .4 pounds got her just under 300 for the first time years and I think she is in a panic mode because she sees this as her last chance.

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customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

Doesn't the WW program require a 'public' weigh in at every meeting?? That would give anyone a complex.

It's not all about the lbs!!

She is much better off physically and emotionally with a healthier approach to weight loss. The marathon walk team with the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society's Team-in-Training is a great way for women to lose weight and have a great social network. From what I've observed, it would really be a team composed of her peers. and, I think they are kicking off the Fall season soon.... (no, I'm not on the payroll there)

Yeah, what trigirl said. Remind her that rapid weight loss is usually followed by rapid weight gain. If your wife can develop healthy habits that may even expand her social network the changes will come over time, will be lasting, and will be about more than just her bodyweight. There is so much more to leading a healthy life than those numbers.

FYI, I know, I was an overweight kid and teenager. In my early 20s I started working out to lose wieght but ended up getting a whole new life and set of values too. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen!!

You are a wise man seeking advice before you speak. Slow as I am at running, I am very fast at getting my foot in my mouth with my wife. Recent example: Wife (age 39.5) says, "I'm so upset, my waist is still a six, but my hips are an eight and I can't find any shorts that fit well." I say, "Don't worry, when you turn 40 your waist will probably become an eight and shorts will fit fine again."

Move over little dog, the big dog's coming in.

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It doesn't really matter what Phil is saying, the music of his voice is the appropriate soundtrack for a bicycle race. HTupolev