There's no shame in completing 'only' a HIM. You have to decide where your balance lies. Kudos to you for wanting to focus on your family.

That said, I do think IM training is very doable with a family if you have realistic expectations, as it sounds like you do. However, with a job and a family, IM training often means lots of early mornings or late nights. It means skipping out on some social events.

I have done 4 (and a half if you could IMSG this year which I DNF'd) since the birth of my first child. We now have 2 kids (3 & 6). I work full-time and my husband travels 50% of the time for work. It's not easy. I'm not going to win a Kona spot. But I really enjoy triathlons and the training, so I make it work.

*editing to add* I make it work, but I always prioritize my kids over everything. Even if it means missing a workout b/c one is sick. Or rushing to volunteer at school with wet hair straight out of the pool. :)

2 weeks ago.... and IMC is in august, wont be doing another anytime soon....

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so you already ditched IMC in August? Or are you doing IMC in August and then done? I haven't quite ditched IM Louis yet, but I've already started "shopping" HIM's in September and August

im doing it for sure, wanted to since i was 16 (34 now)... its a one and done thing.

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Sounds like an opportunity to work on getting fast for a year or four. An IM in a few years would be ever better for it. It's awesome that your wife supports your spending that much time training.

I have never done an Ironman (just 1/2's) for exactly that reason, even though it is a long-standing goal (I have two young kids). OTOH, my "Jesus moment" differs in that I have come to the conclusion that I will never have sufficient time to fully train for an IM, so I'm just going to do what I can with the available time (~10 hours/week max), and try to slog through it. I figure that I should sign up soon, since I won't have any more free time in 10 years than I do now, and may be too old (and slow) to even finish an IM at that point.

I feel your pain (sort of). I am training for my first HIM with a 2.5 YO and an 8 month old. It's a real struggle to get 8 or 9 hours of workouts in per week. I had originally targeted fall of 2013 for a full distance race, but I'm just not sure I can do it. My wife is (understandably) frustrated and that is affecting all aspects of our life (including my training). It sucks because it's the one thing outside of my family that makes me happy. I have a golf membership and I've played one time this year. I'm willing to give up everything else, but it's still not enough.

My one and only hope is that when the 8 month old is sleeping through the night every night (currently she does about half the time) and we can move her bedtime earlier (currently around 10 PM), I can drag my lazy arse out of bed for morning workouts. I have a real issue getting up and working out on 4-5 hours of sleep. If I can consistently get a ~6 AM workout in, I might have a shot.

A month or so - I gave it up... that is after IMCDA this year. I have 2 kids under 5 and a wife that handles them each day and really enjoys some time off. I did IMC in 2010 with 1 kid and that was doable - for her. Now that we have 2 - she needs a little more input from me. I know that I can get up early and all that - but the reality is that when I am training for an IM, not only are there the long days away from the house, but I'm also obsessed with anything tri-related. Perhaps it would be better for me to be pulling weeds than reading ST. Anyway, I will go back to IMs - but not until the kids are a little older and not as needy.

I only have 36 days as a parent - so take this with that in mind.

I'm fortunate that my son is 20 months old (so just a bit older than your child) - so I'm not dealing with new born sleep issues - but there are attachment issues, typical toddler issues etc to be dealt with.

The first week we were home with him was the hardest, I wasn't working, wife wasn't working - getting in any sort of workout caused a lot of stress for me, my wife, and the kiddo. Once I started working again the second week home - getting workouts in got infinitely easier - why? Routine.

I'm up every morning at 4:30 am, at the Y or on the trainer by 5:15. I get my run in at lunch - and manage to get home by about 4pm. At which point my wife gets a break to do her workouts, while I get 1x1 time with my son and get to make dinner! :)


The weekends are a bit tough, but as long as I am out of bed at 4:30, I'm still able to get a decent day of SBR in by 10 am on Saturday, and a good bike/run day on Sunday wrapped up by 11 or so.


The toughest workout to get in is the long run on Friday evening.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


I think you would be surprised at what it takes to get an ironman done (and done well). If you are training consistently, and smartly - you only need a handful of long rides. IIRC - last year before my Kona/IMAZ double I put in 4 rides over 5 hours, and only couple more over 4 - one of which was Kona.


With only 4 training weekends to go before IMCDA - I have yet to ride longer than 4 hours - I do need to do something about that though...


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Before I digress too far - don't let the community pressure you into thinking that 20 hour weeks + lots of epic rides are the only way you will get through an Ironman. Depending on your goals, and your ability to pace yourself realistically on race day - I would be highly confident that you could have a great race on nothing more than a regular long ride diet of 2 to 3 hours with some hard work thrown in - and a single long ride (for confidence/nutrition practice).


Regardless of the distance you choose to race - they key to your success is *not* a weekly long ride, but your ability to have daily consistency and your ability to be honest with your pacing on race day.

Edit:
Also - as mentioned, there is a lot more to triathlon than ironman. Enjoy the sport, don't become a slave to it.

Edit 2: Managing expectations with your partner is also incredibly important.

last year i was asking the family (wife, 12yr old daughter, 10yr old son) about their thoughts on my training for another IM. my son sat me down and said "dad, let me ask you a question". uh-oh. he then asked me if i would rather spend the season working out very long and hard to accomplish something personally rewarding, or doing what i had just done-a season of sprints, olys, and one 1/2 and having more fun. hmm. i asked him if i wasn't much fun when training for an IM. he said, well, you're not around much on weekends and when you are, you're pretty tired and taking alot of naps. i got it. it seems to be a good balance for my family and i for me to train to do sprints, olys, and the occasional 1/2. i don't want to turn around in a few years and wonder what happened to my kids. i'm staying in great shape (i'm 58), still competitive, and still make it to all the swim meets and soccer games.

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In my estimation the worst thing for a family is to try and "weekend warrior" the training. In other words, do what the majority of folks do and ride long on Saturday and then run long on Sunday. You are cheating your family of valuable time. Personally, I ride long on Sunday mornings and then run long very early on Monday or Tuesday mornings before work. Saturday's are short workouts before the kids wake up and then spend the rest of day with them. Everything else during the week is done in the mornings before work or at lunch. I rarely, if ever, workout at night. That time is for the family. It can be done if you want to do it. I'm not anywhere close to a KQ though with a PB of 11:35, nor do I ever plan to be close to a KQ.

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"Unless you have a ... GF who might put out that night and that night only ... skip it and race." - AndyPants 3-15-2007

It's doable but with each one the personal sacrifice becomes larger. I've done 4 HIMs and 2 IMs since 2010. I can squeeze in the HIMs no problem. Usually peak around 15 hours per week. That's easy with early and late workouts to avoid missing family time and kids activitiies. The IMs are much harder to fit in the schedule. There is no way to hide a 5-7 hour bike ride, let alone 5-6 of them. My long runs were at 5am or 9pm. I was forced to use vacation days for my last 4-5 long bike/brick workouts as my Sat/Sun are really busy with the kids. I got a bit of a free pass with the first IM (CdA). I just did IMSG and I've had to do a ton of S/B/R at 4-6am, 9-11pm and burned up 5 vacation days. If I do another IM I will have to do it with the understanding that I will not be given the window I need to do well, which is fine with me. It's all about balance and it is really easy to loose perspecitve with the IM races. EDIT: I'm no fastie so a slower time means nothing. 10:50 in CdA and 11:58 in IMSG.

haha....your son sounds like he may be been coached a bit. ;)
I wonder though, as we age if it isn't more beneficial to the mind/body and family to only focus on the long stuff for maybe 1-2 years at a time and then go back to the shorter stuff for 2-3 years. It isn't like the shorter stuff is "easier" but it may be more beneficial with the amount of speed needed.

I did my first IM last year (IM Lou) when we just had out second son in May. It was tough. I didnt have a coming to with my wife but I lowered my expectations of when and where the workouts would happen. I also had a coach that adhered to the family needs. So, to answer your question... I think if you really want to do IM Lou, then go for it. But also talk to your wife about what you want to get done and how it would not only make her happy to be around and be helpful but to also make sure that what needs to be done, gets done. Don't get me wrong, you can accomplish a good time (11:45 for me) while on somewhat of a restricted training plan but you need to lower your expectations that all the time you need will be there. I had a problem with guilt on some longer days and so I mainly worked with talking to my wife so I wouldn't be all pooped out while out riding for 5 hrs +. The key is to know you are making her happy and doing your part. Especially when she gets some time to herself. Talk to her first to see if she will let you with all the training and if so, go for it. If not, make other plans. I am 30 and realizing that a race can be done another year when things are easier, is a big thing to accomplish.

Ok, enough ranting and good luck!

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Disco
South Bend, IN

Habitual Line Stepper..

Prior to our 1st son being born, I had done 2 Konas and really had the IM bug. After he was born, IM didn't seem as significant anymore, although giving up my slot a couple of times in subsequent years was one of the hardest things to do. Now with the birth of our 2nd son, the scheduling for even HIM is rough, but I've found a happy medium with sprint and oly. I don't want to miss any part of their growing up, but I still want to compete...its a really tough balance.

This pretty much nails the thought process I'm having right now. HIM's are very doable. I can slip out and absolutely hammer a 2 hour ride even one morning before work if needed. There is no slipping out to do a long 5-6 hour+ ride. Finding the time and balancing everything else becomes more stressful than it should really be.

make sure you read my post above.

I gave up "Ironman" when it got so crowded that my FAMILY couldn't enjoy it. Hence the Rev3 partnership.

as for the training, after doing a couple you should have something of a base to pull from. setting up a full distance race as an A race is still doable on far less training hours than follks think

i took a year and a half off from the full distance and focused on halfs (i think i did 5-6 that first year and then threw a couple fulls in at the end of last year)

doing all the halfs i think really helped with the fulls AND the training required for them was less (time wise).

good luck.

get what matters to YOU on top of your list, and fill in with the other stuff when you have time. just be sure that your wife* is on top of that list........

tim

*I ASSumed "WE" means wife and I...... sorry if i ASSumed incorrectly.

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Tim

I will give you what I did which you and others will not like, but it has worked for me.

I got married to spend quality quantity time with my wife!!! I sure had 2 daughters to spend quality quantity time with them. Triathlon is a me sport, not a family sport with a young family.

I spent the first 15 years doing activities that allowed us to all be together as a family. I took them to the pool ever day and got them swimming very very young. We then moved onto a lake so I got them water skiing
on a ski Bob at 3, and skiing at 4. We skied very day for like 8 months a year for 10 years. It was a great way to bond as a family!!! I then went to all their sporting events. Bottom line I never ever considered getting involved in a sport like triathlon which totally takes one away from the family!!!!!

When they were around 15, I did my first sprint triathlon in my backyard community lake. It then SLOWLY grew where we would go to a sprint race together. My wife and 2 girls would do a relay, and I would race on my own.
They would then bring their boyfriends and we would do teams. We did a few running races together as a family. Get a trend?

Once they were off to college, then I kicked up the focus for me. Luckily my wife loves to work at races so we have gone to many, but again, it is a family thing. At times my kids or their husbands come and we all work at a race together. I see SO many folks going to races by themselves, and some wonder why the divorce rate is so high with triathletes.Agins

So, I found many ways to use my Type A personality to focus on my wife, then family, and now wife again. Is this not the reason one gets married and has kids? I just made sure the me became we, and still do.

Again, I expect not what you wanted to hear, but logically, makes so much sense.

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

Boom Nutrition code 19F4Y3 $5 off 24 pack box | Bionic Runner | PowerCranks | Velotron | Spruzzamist

Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

Also - as mentioned, there is a lot more to triathlon than ironman. Enjoy the sport, don't become a slave to it.

I like that phrase!!

Depends on how you'll feel the next day!

You have time. Last year, I used a nine-week program and it worked. Time wasn't great, but I did it.

Me too. I always have better workouts when my family is sleeping versus when they were awake. It sounds strange, but during the really early or late workouts I never feel like I am missing anything.....other than sleep......and I train with a clear mind. When everyone is awake, I feel like I am cheating my family, even if they are just hanging around the house or if they are indifferent on me working out. I could fill every day with family acitivites if I wanted too. To me, that's the bar and how I measure my persoanal balance. Everything after that is a deduction from that bar. You can't throw the ball enough with your kids. Read to them. Take walks with your wife. Allow your wife enough free time on her own. Etc.

Ones kids grow up SO fast, and are then gone. And if you are a "cats in the cradle" type of parent, you will get down the road what you gave.

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

Boom Nutrition code 19F4Y3 $5 off 24 pack box | Bionic Runner | PowerCranks | Velotron | Spruzzamist

Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

Here's my "life" story about my one and only full IM experience. (I come from a mountain bike racing background and somewhere along the lines got into tri's due to some buddies convincing me it was a fun sport.)

I'd done several 1/2's and Olympic tri's, took about 5 years off due to family and the wife's frustration with me "having to get my training in". In August of 2010 the wife was watching the NBC special of the 09 Kona Championships (rerun) with me and she commented: "why don't you do one of those". In complete shock, I signed up for IMKY (Louisville) the day it opened registration for 2011. (My kids are now: 16, 12 & 9, so you can do the math on all of that.)

I found a good on-line training program and officially started the program in February ('11). I'd been doing alot of training up to that date, but officially went to a defined workout. Like you, I found myself in a state of panic worrying about how & when would I be able to hit the bigger target days. I had to do alot of "workarounds" so I didn't impact too much for the family but they were great throughout the process. I will say that my training was successful (for me anyway) in regards to hitting the longer days that were necessary to feel confident going into the race. As alot of folks will state, 5 am start times were avenues I had to take.

I won't bore you with the details or attempt to put a damper on things, but I researched, studied, evaluated everything I could to make sure I was prepared for the special day. When all was said and done I became an Ironman according to Mike Reilly; but my IM day of glory just didn't fit the bill for me. With all the training I'd done I didn't hit my mark (that I "should" have been able to accomplish) and tanked my run. (Feel sorry for me here, please) I did the swim as expected, specifically calmed down on the bike (for the run) but apparently didn't evaluate my nutrition successfully on this portion. I was looking forward to the run come mile 3 and things went awry for me.
Note to you: Get your nutrition down on the bike! If you can take on more calories, then do it. I thought I was good but apparently not.
I threw up on mile 5 on the run (or somewhere around there) and everything was gone from my system. Couldn't take anything else except 1/2 of a double caffeine latte gel (which I didn't know until it was 1/2 way down) and the rest was ice chips for me. The final 20 miles were a blur. Mind you I felt better than the folks that were lying on the side of the course, but running 2 miles and then walking a 1/2 mile, running 2 miles and walking 1/2 mile just didn't give me a feeling of accomplishment. To some this would be successful, to others this wouldn't be. To me, I wasn't exhuberated when I crossed the line. I finished a bit under 13 hours. Yes, I'm somewhat embarassed by this as I truly expected to be in the 11 hour range. I swear I put the training miles in (along with the nutrition) and really thought my plan was solid.

My opinion on how you proceed would be this: set your goals and do what you need to do to accomplish them. My goals were apparently too high and there's no reason I should have been dissappointed yet I was. Don't stress about missing a workout if you have to. Just move on and get the next one in.

Here's the positive side: Fast forward to this year. I still have the greenlight to do tri's and things have now been put into perspective to me. I now know what my body can do. Although I don't have the driving desire to do another full (yet) I'm starting to have them. With the training I got to do last year it's definitely helped me understand what I need to do to become successful. I did a 1/2 IM last year in prep of the full and had a PR. This year I've done one Olympic (with a new PR at that distance) and am focused on 1/2's. (I can actually call myself a runner now!) I'm using the same plan as I did with the full and although when it comes to the long weekends I'll slim that down some; I'm faster all the way around in every discipline. With that said, in hindsight doing the full was a great experience. I didn't realize it until now and am glad I tackled it. Actually, after writing this up and 1/2 a paragraph later it's making me want to consider doing another one.

You're not guaranteed tomorrow so do it now and either mark it off your bucket list or use it as a learning experience to determine what you can do with your training to make it successful for the next outing. If it's too big of a burden on the family, I assure you that taming the training time down and focusing on 1/2's can be done. It will actually seem "easier" from the mindset perspective post a full IM. Although I'm still doing the same plan as mentioned above, my stress level is entirely different this year which sounds a bit odd I know; but I've not stressed once if I couldn't get a 3 hour ride in but made it 2 1/2 hours instead. If I couldn't do a 50 minute brick run after a bike ride and only got in 35 minutes; I don't care. I personally feel I could attack a full at any given time and I'm confident I would be successful. (Not going to do that btw; but you see where I'm going with that.)

As far as the family goes, they're better this year only because I'm not making a big deal out of it. Perception seems to be the key to me. I'm a worry wart and have an extremely stressful job (as I'm writing this at work, I know); but I'm enjoying the training this go round rather than looking at it as a 2nd job. The families happier, I'm happier and I'm going to kill it in my next 1/2 come mid-June.

Good luck. I realize I'm not a pro but if you have anything that I can help with feel free to PM me. You won't get advice like Rappstar could give, but I'm a pro when it comes to "what not to do". BTW: I know you stated you'd done a couple of fulls already so doubtful my advice would be helpful, just throwing it out there.


Sorry this was soooooooooo long. I had a couple of minutes and I type fast. That's something I can do well :)