Here's the POV of a chica. I did my first IM when K was 20months (IMWA in 2005). At the time I was working full time and was the breadwinner of the family (no K's dad wasn't a Mr Mom, he worked too, so it was daycare). There was a lot of 4am workouts. I then did IMC in 2009 and IMNZ in 2011. I did far less training with each IM, and although my results got better (LOL) we have pretty much given up on IMs for now. It's a real challenge to work full time, have a part-time business (this is new - last few months), have kids, a dog, and try to train for anything. But to be honest, it was far easier when she was younger. At her age (8 now) she is acutely aware of when I choose training over her. She has no problem telling me if she likes it or not. It's a lot harder to explain to her.

Also: I now find that I prefer to spend my time with family far more than I used to.... For me, it was more a function of how much I could actually interact/engage with the kids than anything to do with IM - they just got more "interesting" if that makes any sense. I have found relative "peace" in doing more running races and shorter distance tris. However, that said, I still get a hankerin to go long again... conveniently I am CHEAP so the thought of $700+ for an IM makes it easy to say "no". :-)

I look forward to doing IM** in 2018 with K as my Sherpa ;-)

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

POV of a gal and one who has NOT done IM but it isn't because I cannot, it is because I choose not to. Lots of reasons why. Lack of tri experience, work and grad school full time, etc. but the big reason-the #1 reason- is that I have 3 children 12,10,5 and a husband that is a cat3 cyclist.

I can do pretty ok at the short/mid distance stuff. The training keeps me fit and sane. It is doable with our family schedule. I am not willing to make my kids sacrifice basketball, baseball, karate, soccer, gymnastics and juijitsu (they are not in all of these at the same time, 1 sport per season for us). I am a wife first, mom second and then I take time for myself to get up at 4:50 to swim, I ride indoors ALOT and miss all the wonderful group rides and all day Sat. rides up the mtns. here.
I don't mind.

I figure these kids are here only for a bit and I don't want to miss a game or event if I don't absolutely have to. This is my hobby, not my life's work. I am staring at 39 and I will be able to tackle longer distances if I so choose soon enough, although by then I will most likely be in a chair at the beach reading all those books I meant to read.

^^^
This. My wife put the hammer down after IMLP 2010 and asked that I not do another until the twins are older. I've been working on getting faster, and it's paying off. Short distances, more speed for a few years. If you want to go back to it after that, then go for it.

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Steve Perkins

Freaking IM Distance, that shit is addictive. Good luck!!!

I have two kids 8 /12 and switched to half's this year. I am really enjoying the 2.5 hr long bike and the 1.5 hr run. I do not have the guilt of taking off for all day training sessions and do not feel pressure to log a large amount of training hours. That being said, I think I am in better shape now then any of my previous IM build ups. I work harder in a shorter time frame now, do not grind myself into the ground training and feel more refreshed with less aches and pains.

I understand your situation completely, and give you props for your previous accomplishments. Quick note, it is possible to train for an IM on less than 12 hours per week which boils down to roughly 1.5 hours a day (give or take a long bike ride once a week). You already have a pretty good endurance base, I say go for it!!! Who knows when that drive/spark will die for good, and this discussion will be moot because you will officially be over it. GL, and whichever road you decide to take, do your best and kill it!!!

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God-dang my wife would MURDER me if I decided to even train for a HIM with a 2year old toddler girl in the house now. She and I both work full time, and we have a full time day nanny, but it's still really, really tough to find ANY time to workout. I can't even imagine negotiating for 4-6 hour blocks on the weekend to bike train. I'm already reveling in the fact that the toddler's finally old enough to use babysitters on the weekend so I can get out for glorious 2-3 hour bike rides, and even then, I feel guilty doing them.

You guys/gals who keep doing IMs with young kids have really, really patient spouses. Even with a measly 10hrs/week of training time, that's a huge deal with a toddler running around on top of a full time job.

After signing up for Texas 2011, I knew it would be my last. At the time, it wasn't due so much to family as it was to the fact I didn't want to give WTC any more of my money for swimming, biking, and running; I had become an Ironman a couple of years prior, at CdA.

The day after Texas, my wife & I found out we were pregnant with our first child, who turns four months old today. While the hype of Ironman is alluring, as is the possibility of now breaking eleven hours, the very real rewards of being a father and have the title of Dad -- which means something in & out of the triathlon circle -- is even better. Better still: There's no training involved! :D

At this point, I do miss having time to train, as well as always having a race on the horizon (regardless of distance), but, like Ironman, I'm keeping my eye on the prize: A loving family. My wife & I have agreed that next season, I can resume racing, but "only" up to HIM. She'll be right behind me in 2014, when she prepares to tackle her first HIM.

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#cureMS

One observation is how early in the morning some people seem to get up to get their sessions in (5am and the like).

I would love to know how you guys/gals do that. I would come down with an infection in no time if I tried that. Maybe its just me, but even with 6-8 hours training per week, I find I need at good 7 or 7.5 hours of sleep to recover properly and not get run down. Yes, I guess it is possible to go to bed earlier, but does this not mean less quality time with your partner in the evenings (after the kids are in bed)?

I would also be concerned about being worn out later in the day from training so early and then not having the energy to do all the things with my kids that I would like to, and like they deserve... eg going to park, beach, hiking etc....

Great topic indeed and recently it's been weighing very heavy on my mind.

My first IM - no kids. My second/third IMs - 1 kid. My fourth IM - 2 kids. My fifth (IMOO in Sept) - 3 kids. (age 4, 2, 3months).
In my second year of IM racing, I was able to set the bar high. I learned what is required to be competitive at the distance but since have struggled to reach that point again. Training with a family has become magnitudes more challenging. The time crunch due to coordinating schedules with work and family obligations is incredible.

It's not that I don't love to train anymore, it's that I love to hang out with my wife and play with my kids more now. Tearing myself away from my kids during Saturday morning cartoons or spending an afternoon at the park is what really makes it hard. If I didn't mind not seeing my kids much and being part of their lives, it would be much easier to just turn my back and head out for "another bike ride". The problem is training for IM is taking a back seat to what has become more important to me now.

It's probably a natural progression and I think the reason most people get into Ironman racing is because they're looking for a challenge and wonder if it's possible. I think I'm nearing the point where the challenge isn't as enjoyable as it once was and the ability for me to be the best dad I can be and a front of the pack IM racer is not possible/enjoyable.

There, that was like a mini theapy session. I feel better now knowing I'm not alone.

Now, anyone racing IMOO watch out, it'll likely be my last and like the good doctor said:

Just remember that you fuckin' with a family man
I got a lot more to lose than you,
remember that when you wanna come and fill these shoes.
Dr. Dre - The Watchers (1999)

This is a really long thread so I admit I did not read through it, but I have been in the same boat as you for a few years. I feel like I can really relate to your situation. I have 3 kids, youngest now being 2 1/2 and have done two ironmans during the "Child bearing and raising years". I have two chronic over use injury's that I have had to work like crazy to get over. I think I just did too much in these crazy years between work, kids and training and my body paid for it.

Short answer: If I could give myself advice I would have just done sprints and maybe olympic the last few years. My body took a beating and I am relatively young.

You have a lot going on and I would just do what you can and go in under trained or just say the hell with it and focus on doing some short distance stuff and having fun.

I'm in the same situation with IM LOU this year. Was doing great but some old injuries came back to bite me. My life is much more managable now with kids, wife work ect. but I paying for the damage I did during those hectic years.

If I make it to the starting line this year in decent health I'm looking to just enjoy the day, pace low zone 2 HR and be glad I'm out there able to SBR. Plenty of folks who would love to but can't due to injuries, accidents, disabilities and other misfortune.

earlier this winter I felt I was on track to go 10:30 or under. I've put my ego down and will just enjoy the day being able to participate.

Good luck!

Here I see it again, over use injuries at a young age. This is whey there are so few quality racers over 50, let alone quantity. Not that I am complaining. :o)

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

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Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

And salt goes in the wound :)

Human body is pretty amazing though. I firmly believe that through PT and actively trying to improve approach to training, learing and overcoming body biomechanic/weakness, proper nutrition and recovery I can get back to full strength.

I think finding the right people to help and learning your body is huge. For me its been a process and personally have had ups and downs. Hopefully, I'm getting smarter about it along the way.

Kudos to you though for putting yourself in that position in your 50's. That's exactly where I want to be.

No, we go to bed around 10. Not a big deal. If I stop to sit down in the evenings I will fall asleep, so I keep moving. Make dinner, etc. we go out and do stuff with the kids, shuttle them to their activities....by 10 I am spent. You prioritize your marriage, your kids, then your training. Waking up at 5 is how I get that done.

The older 2 kids are to the age where they can run with me on some of the shorter runs, and like I said before, a lot of Computrainer rides occur. We don't have babysitters or nannies, we just make it work for the both of us. The day it doesn't is the day we stop racing.

I hope I am not coming off as a smart ass. I want to be racing in my 70's so I keep asking the older folks who can still race their secrets.

Since us Type A's do not know how to back off, and everyday when I train 2 hours I ask if I am doing too much, I just try to offer younger folks, who I see might be destroying their abilities to race at my age, some of the inputs I have gotten from the older folks over the years. There is NO doubt in my mind that my focusing on doing things with my family for the first 15 years of my marriage, has allowed a few things. First I never had to look back and wish I had spent more time with my wife or kids, since I did that 100%. I never have to look back and wish I had not used my body up when I was young! And I am not divorced after my kids went off to college because I did spend
the time with my wife to make sure we did not grow apart. Finding a way that she has been able to be 100% involved with my racing, meaning she loves to help at races, as made me VERY lucky. I have no job and she works 40 hours a week. So, when I race, and we help at races just about every weekend, she is basically going 7 days a week. Not many wife's I know that would do this. If this did not work for her, rather than go on my own, I would adjust since if I am not doing things with my wife, why did I get married in the first place? Marriage is compromise.

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

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Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

That's where I am right now......Could I train on 6-8 hrs a week and "finish"? Sure, but why? I can already say I'm an Ironman because I've been there/done that twice. It's a what have you done for me lately mentality though as I haven't done one since 2009 so I have a huge itch to do another. But then again, if I'm undertrained it's just going to be a walking death march from mile 15 on during the run and a 14 hour+ finish. Hardly anything to brag about?

But on the other hand, I see the responses from the 4, 5 + year old parents and kids activities start taking place more and more. My 18 month old is not quite there yet so there is a small window of opportunity I feel like.

And my wife is very supportive, but it's more of a guilty feeling from myself internally than anything else. I also feel like I can cheat the distance on an Oly or HIM and get away with it. Much easier to wing it. But if there's been a few days of no riding or running I feel like I've dug my own grave and am starting all over again. Lots of pressure and worry to get in consistent workouts knowing you can't cheat the IM distance.

I haven't read all of these posts, but I can tell you that after my second son was born, I gave up any plans for long-course triathlon. I did an IM before my younger son was born. That was part of the plan -- my wife wanted another child, I wanted to do an IM. I did the IM knowing that once child #2 came along, long triathlons were done for me. (I actually tried to do a half IM in 2008, when my kids were 2 and 6, and it was an absolute disaster.)

There are ways you can balance everything and still make some time for family. I love riding my bike and the other training that goes along with triathlon, but getting up at 4:30 a.m. to workout? Really? Is it that fun? I'm not getting up at 4:30 a.m. for very many things, the least of which is riding a bike on a trainer or running on a treadmill. Or even running outside at that hour. There are strange people walking around at 4:30 a.m. My pool doesn't open until 8 a.m., so swimming is not an option at that hour anyway.

There is no way around it -- training for long triathlons (I'm including half IMs here, too) is very invasive on family time. You can't train the way you need to for long races and spend quality time with your wife and kids. It's just not possible. Something is going to suffer. It always does. The best thing to do is to simply wait until the kids are older before doing the long stuff. As someone has already mentioned, there is much, much more to triathlon than doing IMs or even half IMs. For the last several years, I've done sprints and Olys (mainly sprints), and I can get up, do the training I need to do, and be back home before my kids have been awake for very long on Saturday mornings. And I have a lot of energy left to play with my kids, take them fishing, etc.

Triathlon is a selfish sport. But other sports can be selfish as well. I have friends who play golf, are amateur dirt track auto racers, etc. They spend more money and time doing their hobbies than we do. Nonetheless, long-course triathlon is not a family-friendly sport at all.

RP

Did not take your comments as smart. Very solid advice and appreciated. Defiantley a priority for me to put family first.

However, I think triathlon makes me a better dad and husband. When I'm getting good cardio in, I'm in a better mood and much more patient.

Again, I've been married 9 years so far, but hope to be where you are when I'm 50.

Regards,

Dave

I just do not get why some, (and in the overall population of folks, how many do multiple IM's?), just want to keep allowing this hobby to become another Type A activity and risk their jobs, marriages, health, etc.
I see some say they can get away with little sleep. But everything I have read this is just playing with fire, it WILL impact ones life at some point!!! So many articles say sleep may be the best training tool!
And so many give me a bad time when I am in bed at 6:15 reading, with the lights off at 7. But, where are they at 4:30 when I get up and start my 2 hours of training?

Even when my kids were small, just giving the wife a break was something I still did not do enough of. Now that I babysit my granddaughter a few days a few, I now FULLY understand how much work it was for my wife to stay home all day with the kids. I now understand why she got to the point to get into tupperware, get out of the house at nights, and force me to be with the kids! So, yep, she said for a long time she was supportive, but I found out later she did not really mean it, and now I see why.

Pretty much all I see on ST is younger folks saying you should do more. Do the 100 day run challenge, or bike challenge or or or. But how many do you see my age, and I will say 55 and older since I still see many around 50 who kick ass, that can still "race"? That are still married? That have their kids, grandkids around? Bottom line, you get back in life what you gave. And, IMO, being my myself on 4 to 6 hour bike rides is just "cats in the craddle".

So, just trying to provide some balance to all the Type A you can do it all inputs most give and ask do you really think they will be racing at 60? That sure is my goal to kick butt like Steve Smith!!

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

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Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

It's all about finding a balance. Obviously, family has to come first and probably work second. At least that's the case for me. I'm not going to win the race, so my goal is more about enjoying the training, enjoying the race and getting to the finish line. I don't see anything wrong with a 'slow' time because a person can only do so well as their priorities and physical capacity allow them to.

There is tons of good advice and perspective in this thread for the OP. Reading through the posts, you can see a range of levels of trade-offs and compromise across several age-groups and both men and women.

As an IM finisher, 12 yrs in tris @ all distances and almost 20 yrs happily married with kids, I can validate a lot of the ideas in these threads without boring all of you with my own facts.

Bottom line, IMO, is a handful of common insights:

* This is a hobby. Treat it accordingly and don't lose that perspective.
* Your SO is VERY important, as are your kids/family.
* Balance and consistency are key, and IM isn't going away as an event ... so you have time to leave it and come back if/when the first two points tip the balance in that way
* Tri is about a fitness lifesyle, being healthy and having fun (or at least trying to...)

There is a tremendous benefit to finding calm and jettisonning all the extraneous chaos and associated emotional baggage on all this stuff. Simplify, take a balanced long-term view of what matters in the big picture, and things get a WHOLE lot easier.

After getting sick in life, I found real quick the real priorities in life:

1). Healthy (without it the rest mean nothing)
2). Family (need them for lots of reason, but to heap when issues with #1 hit)
3). Job - need to put food on the table.

AND then to wrap around them all FUN!!

No where did I have any Type A hobby on my bottom line list of priorities in life.

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

Boom Nutrition code 19F4Y3 $5 off 24 pack box | Bionic Runner | PowerCranks | Velotron | Spruzzamist

Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

bit of background. 2 ironmans pre-kids, 0 since.

I realized pretty quick that I would rather be with my wife and kids than on my bike for 6 hours on a Saturday.

That said, I've done a bunch of 70.3's since the kids were born. I can train effectively for those on 10-12 hours a week of training with minimal impact on family life. Anything beyond that is untenable given my priorities.

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__________________
JP

my twitter feed

+1

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

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Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

Did my last one 3 weeks after the birth of my first daughter (bad timing). Promised to take 4 years off until I try it again, and also to back off training in general. Only fair since she has had to do the same!

Gone to sprint distance and maybe 1/2 IM's for the forseeable future. Also, the desire to train that much has waned with the fatigue of getting less sleep!

Focused on getting fast instead.

Probably will be good in the long run to build up my speed for a few years anyways.

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NCCP certified Comp coach