You just said it all... different priorities...nothing wrong with that. When you feel like you're being selfish, it's time. And it may be just temporary, one season or 10 seasons till you do a big race. Nothing wrong with that. Once i realized i did it for fun and no one cared 5 minutes after the finish, I was good.I am sure you will still train, that to me has always been more fun then the actual race day. Its ok. Just think about making every part of the race as perfect as you an, maybe not a PR, but make it perfect in your own way. That might help you focus and hopefully now if its your last one, you did it. And I don't mean crash and burn and be laid up after the race, I mean , be intentional the whole day, slow or fast. Fuel up early, think of what you'd tell you buddy to do. Make the day yours and yours alone. Your pace is the best pace tell yourself

I didn't know it, but I had an inkling.

18 seasons in, I'd gone from 5-6 races/year to 1-2x/year, just to keep the streak going. I knew my wife and I were moving cross-country soon and I was about to co-found a small business, and I knew that would be time- and energy-intensive. A couple years later we had a kid, and that confirmed it.

I was/am ok with it. It was more a choice than a forced decision.

I still think I may go back to tri at some point, at least on a sprint/recreational basis. But for now, Brazilian jiu jitsu is my athletic focus - fits better with my life and mental status.

I found out my wife was pregnant the day before an "A" race for me. The next morning it was a downpour. We drove to the site together, sat in the car in the pouring ran. I sadly thought-I can't race today. My wife is pregnant, what if I lose control of my bike and go down-or what if a car can't see me while driving because it's coming down so hard.

That turned into 5 years of no racing. Funny too, I had just bought my dream bike-Trek Speed Concept.

Then Covid hit. I know it was devastating time for many people, but it allowed me to hit the reset button and get back into working out. I had gained 40 pounds and was stressed from work. The break helped me get back on my feet and within a year I was hit with the bug again. I will say that my wife has ALWAYS supported my tri habit and was excited for me to get back into the game. She never asked me to quit or stop, but I knew I didn't want to go through the motions. I was all in or not racing.

My only regret was not doing a better job at balancing being a dad, husband and looking out for my own personal health.

Take the break if you need it, enjoy being a family man and keep riding or running or both for fitness. But, be with your family first.

Good luck!

I raced Kona 22 as my last tri. Kid the following March this year. Didn’t know it at the time as I was surrounded by new dads and old dads that did the tri thing despite the kids it was my last. Assumed I would continue on, maybe with a few sprints and then get back into it as a tri dad with young kids.

Long story short, priorities changed. My time is no longer my own. The kiddo brings home bugs from daycare every other week that knock us on our ass even when I try to get into any kind of training grove.

It’s been really tough acknowledging that I raced my last tri for a while. Putting in the hours and training have been a good and healthy organizing principle of my adult life. But f me sideways- I just cannot train consistently much less imagine racing right now. And that part of my identity is gone, backburnered, (optimistically) for now. It drives me crazy sometimes but deep down I’ve stopped trying to fight that fact.

I simply have no time. It’s selfish in our family situation to make my wife deal with the kid to train and it’s impractical for this season of my life to try and juggle structured training and work and the growing family . It might not always be this way, but that feels like the next several years or so. Kudos to those that find a way.

Good luck at Indian wells dude. To answer your question, i didn’t realize it would be my last tri at the time.

I was in decent shape the year I got married no major PRs or huge progress, but considering everything I was happy. Then I broke my wrist that winter. That was a multi year recovery at the end of which I had a decent HIM. That was 2011.

I didn't think it was it, but I went back to school, changed careers, moved across the country, started coaching high school running, and suddenly it's 2023. I planned a comeback this year. Bought a budget bike and wheels off the Classifieds here and was ready to rock. Then I got blood clots in my lungs in May. I have started to rebound, but accepted a head coach job at a top notch high school program. No way I am going to be able to teach, coach, and train all three sports. So maybe I will give duathlons a shot this summer? I hope.

I quit tri after racing 2 seasons with my daughter. Covid kind of put it to bed but I was already transitioning to a runner because it was so much easier with a kid. After 6 months I ran with my daughter and after 18 months of chaotic sleep she was in a “routine” where I could wake up and train and know most of the time I could get back before they were awake. So I am now 4 years after my last tri and haven’t swam since Covid and I honestly don’t miss it. I enjoy running and cycling for 30-45 minutes inside.

Others will tell you there story about having a kid and their sleep but every situation is different. You’ll find your new normal and you’ll soon forget what life was like without a kid, in a good way (well most of the time!).

---

Twitter - Instagram

I just got old. Cycling was getting too dangerous with my balance, reactions, and eyesight not what they used to be. I knew Tulsa 2022 was my last. A friend asked me how serious I was with this decision, and I told him he could have my bike. I was that serious. After the race, I wheeled the bike out of transition, over to him, and said here, it’s yours.

Other factors included the rising costs (retired, fixed income), and all the local tris had dried up, so nothing to train for. But bike safety was the biggie that finally nailed the coffin shut. Almost literally a few times.

---

Athlinks / Strava

I knew it was supposed to be my last race....
IMNZ 2013. I'd only done that breaking my 'rule' of no full in consecutive years after 2012 got cancelled by a cyclone - too much mental toll and hard to balance family life (I don't have kids, but do have a very understanding wife) and work.

And to be fair I'd started really getting into trail running so after supporting mates through long run training and doing a few trail half marathons, then I was thinking that would be a good new direction after starting to feel stale.

Anyway 1 year later, and my ankle ligaments said no to trail running, and more specifically my surgeon said he'd already got the boat, the bach (holiday home) and pension so I wasn't to run off-road. He was good, but not a miracle worker. So I thanked him, checked I would be able to run again, just on flat/good surface. He agreed. So I said excellent, road running? Yes. Marathons? Umm, yes... Awesome, so back to Ironman then? Withering smile and a weary 'yes'.

And so two surgeries and 2 years recovery later and I was in the form of my life, with renewed enjoyment from Triathlons. So you never know what lemon and limes life is going to throw at you.

2016. Walked off the course with 6 miles to go. Didn't want to do it anymore. Didn't want to be there. Didn't want to be a triathlete anymore. Definitely could have finished. "Knew" I was done. 2019, went back and finished the race. That was the last one. Knew it at the time. Might be more.

"All will be known in due time". One of my favorite quotes.

---

================

I knew I was done (for a while) when I crossed the finish line of my last race and literally couldn't move. I had to be put into a wheelchair and taken to the medical tent. The mind was willing, but the body just wasn't capable. I had tried to balance a demanding career, wife, kids, life and getting a bit older. Unfortunately, I was lying to myself and each area was only getting a fraction of the attention and focus needed. Reality smacked me in the face HARD that day and I realized that even though I love training... I didn't love nor need to race. So, I took all of last year off from racing. Still trained... admittedly with lower intensity... and maintained some fitness, but I eliminated the stress of racing and freed up more cycles for the other important things in my life.

I will return, but only when I feel I can be properly trained and not force the other important areas of my life to suffer because of my training

---

In search of the righteous life... we all fall down

\

Congratulations on the birth of your child.

Off topic. With a child, we mark all the "firsts". First step, first word, first day of school. What we don't mark--because we don't realize it at the time--are the "lasts." The last time you carry your child on your shoulders. The last time you sit with your kid on a ride at Disney.

You won't know when the last time your child falls asleep in your arms, so appreciate every time they do. When it's over, you will miss it.

I did not know my last Ironman was my last at the time. But I am pretty sure I won't do another.

2021 Augusta 70.3 was my last race for a while. I was originally signed up for 2020, but covid bumped it back to 2021 and I just didn’t have the triathlon bug anymore.

---

https://www.strava.com/...tes/zachary_mckinney

I was out for several years, from 2016 until last year. I had no intention of "being done", I just developed health issues that severely limited my ability to ride and run, and I didn't enter any races until I got them sorted out. I always had the intent of racing again, as soon as I was healthy enough. And just as I was ready to start racing again, Covid hit. I *almost* entered a local sprint back in early 2020, but felt that I wasn't quite back 100%, so I volunteered instead of racing. The lockdown happened just a few weeks later, and I was kicking myself for not racing. Once the world got back to normal, I was back looking at race schedules. I've entered a race next weekend, so I'm still not quite done... :)

---

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10, and I don't know why!"

I don't know.

I've had a lot of ups and downs in the past few years with my training and racing. I've wanted to get my elite license for a long time. I tried pretty damn hard for the last few years (starting 2020). I've gotten a little bit faster each year, learned a little bit more each race. I'm really close, and I think I could probably get it if I cherry picked some races. But after a devoting the first few years in my career to something other than my career (with not much to show for it), I realize that I'm probably going to have to let that all go. I think the last few years were marred with some unhealthy habits around achieving perfection, which only left me further away from my goal and further detached from my life (relationships, career, etc.). When my colleagues were putting in extra hours at work, I was bailing at 5:00 for my second (or third) session of the day. I never developed my professional skillset or network, and my career has rightfully taken a hit. I was on a great trajectory upon graduation, but something slipped and I became far more focused on becoming an elite triathlete than an elite lawyer.

I don't necessarily hate it all, nor do I think it was a waste of time. I'm still in great shape (especially compared to my peers), I have so many incredible memories of training and racing, meeting new people, and traveling. And I'm sure I can likely still race at a relatively high level going forward, but I think it's going to have to look a bit different.

My first Ironman was in September. I loved it. It was hard. It hurt. It was scary. It was new. When I finished, I immediately wanted to sign up for another one. But I was pretty burnt out at that point. I was tired of focusing so hard on something that was never going to bring me more than a selfish sense of personal satisfaction. It wasn't going to make me money, it wasn't going to allow me to give back to the world, it wasn't going to bring me closer to my wife. It was a hobby. and I got pretty damn good at it as an amateur. But what I was so burnt out on was the constant mental back and forth I would deal with. I wasn't billing as much as I needed to, I was forgoing opportunities to get involved with cases, and I was putting my professional development on hold to get *just* a little bit faster.

For what?

The guilt and shame I had to swallow nearly every day when I'd do that evening swim became too tiring to keep at bay. I wanted a future, I wanted to build something *real*, not just my fitness. I wanted to build my professional self with the vigor and intensity that I do with training.

I did a really hard gravel race in October following the Ironman, and during that race I realized that the only person I was fooling was myself. I think I mentally broke at mile 70 (into 110). I love training hard and I love racing hard. I love going toe-to-toe with someone and finding something inside that I didn't know was there. But I can't let that love consume me at the expense of everything else.

Was that IM or that gravel race my "last" race? I highly doubt it. But was it the last race that I can toe the line knowing that I sacrificed everything else to prepare for? I think so. I'm 34, so I'm relatively young still. But I can't keep charging down this burn-the-boats path for another 10 years when I know I need to step back and invest my time elsewhere.

And I'm oddly at peace with it.

---

@floathammerholdon | @partners_in_tri

I was firing on all cylinders in 2012.... won the first aquabike nationals, 2nd at age group nationals, state tt champion. After age group nationals in in Burlington in late August, I was going to take a full 2 weeks completely off and resume the hard training I had been doing for the last 8 years or so. Never started again. Not sure what happened. Now almost 12 years later, 75lbs heavier, I am trying to drag myself back into some form of physical fitness.

I had been hitting it hard for many years and never took two weeks off prior to that. With over a decade to reflect on this turn of events, I think I was just so burned out I didn't even realize it.

Being able to write that and feel that is honestly really powerful. My story is relatively similar but with a way less clear post-grad path career-wise.

We also welcomed our first child in September and I'm currently taking a break from triathlon and it seems like it's going to be longer than I originally expected it to be.

I thought I knew that Ponteverda was going to be my last race. Then my wife went into labor 2 months early the day I arrived in Spain for Worlds. Fortunately I found the first flight home and arrived right as my daughter was being born and that everyone was fine.

I knew the end was near but needless to say I didn't realize that AG Nationals was my last race at the time!

First of all, congrats on the new addition. My wife and I welcomed our first in early October and can appreciate what a life changing and enriching experience it is.

I raced IMMD on this September "knowing" it would be my last full distance race (our little guy arrived a few weeks early, but was still pushing it racing that close to the due date, I know). That day was the best race experience of my 8+ years in tri and one of the best days of my life (behind the birth of my son and marrying my wife). I put down massive bike, run and overall PRs. It was just one of those days where everything clicked and i was able to push my body to its limit. I am certain that knowing it was likely my last full distance race helped get me there. The whole back half of the run was a battle to push down the emotions, as every time i thought "you're doing it, you're putting down a day you can be really proud of", my eyes would well up and id push the feeling down. Needless to say, i let it all go over the last 300m and was a babbling mess the whole way down the finish shute.

From here, we are moving home to Melbourne after 7+ years in NYC. Part of the drive for the move home is for better life balance; taking a smaller job, strong family support and so we can maintain as much of an active lifestyle as possible - kids/work/being active in NYC with no support network seems near impossible. Melbourne has a solid short course circuit, good run calendar, great gravel riding/events, a 70.3 in the city and one a 90min drive away in Geelong. We will see how our lives shake out when we move back, but i feel pretty good about building a rewarding life focused on family, career and enjoying endurance sport without stressing over goals/results. That's the plan for now, but who knows what the future will bring.

Good luck at Indian Wells and good luck with being a raising the little one.

Post of the year.

That is all.

---

"FTP is a bit 2015, don't you think?" - Gustav Iden

No. End of 2019 did a 70.3 it went well. Fast Forwards Covid, coaching kids soccer, turning 50. I still think about racing every now an then, but don't have the time. Then realised I am not willing to find the time anymore.

That's ok because my time is spent, trying to be the best soccer coach for the boys and their teams (did my UEFA badges these past two years). Make sure my children get what they need including my time.

Run mainly with a few coffee bike rides, on some level I feel there is something missing, not sure it is triathlon. If being honest think their is a bit of black hole or void that the triathlon obsession filled. If being really honest think its left me a bit down and in a hole, I don't want to use the D word as I am conditioned to believe that is weak (even though I know that is wrong).

Not at all. In fact, I had big plans for the following year after having shown a lot of improvement the previous two years. A bike crash lead to some odd issues which lead to two unsuccessful surgeries to correct external iliac artery endofibrosis...still struggle with being unable to run anymore. I had a decent for me last IM...not quite what I had trained for but considering the circumstances was so happy with it. I often wonder if I would have done anything differently if I had known it was my last race.

I think a lot of us can tell a version of that story. I'm 55 and a lot closer to the end of my career than the beginning. I was in competitive athletics from the age of 4. That drive will always be there.

Balance is hard to find in one's early life. Everything is about "setting up for the future" where more work now is supposed to pay off with less work later... In whatever thing you choose.

At 34 you ARE young... Not just relatively. You have a whole life of marriage, kids, family..and an entire career in front of you.

Its great that you see the imbalance now, and are making the changes to align better with priorities. When I was 34, I was burning the candle at a lot of ends. It's a hard road...with irreparable consequences. You don't get to find out what they are for 20 years or so...

Athletics will always be here---but, it shouldn't be AAA unless it's your career. Life doesn't end at 30, 40, 50, or 60...unless it does. The goal posts change a little, but the drive is still the same.

There's only one real "last race". Otherwise, it's just the last one you did until you do another. Given enough drive there is ALWAYS a way.

I've thought I would "never race again" several times in my life, due to one major health event or another. Some are documented on this forum, some aren't.

After doing numerous sports for over 50 years now...I now know that the only one that decides when I'm done is ME (as long as I'm alive).

In 2019 I did the Ultra 520k Canada race. That was the last time I swam. I knew I was done with Triathlon with that race because I had already cancelled my pool membership. I was really at peace with it all. I have tried to maintain a good level of fitness since, enjoying running and cycling. Lately I have experienced a very slight itch to startup again with the swim. I'm not sure how next year will pan out. Who knows. We can get so buried in our "hobby". Sometimes it's ok to let the rest of life in for a while.