She has been looking for a job for 6+ weeks with basically no leads (I realize no one is hiring now so bear with me for my point). She was a teacher before but doesn't want to continue teaching. She is looking to change careers but has thrown out like 10 different ideas. I find myself reluctant to get behind her 100% for any of the ideas. At first I thought it was because she was all over the place and all of these new career paths were in areas that she has never shown an interest.
But the more I thought about it the more I came to a more uncomfortable conclusion. I'm starting to realize that the reason I'm reluctant to support her career ideas is that she has no real ambition to succeed at any of them. She is not a competitive person at all which is fine (not everyone needs to be totally type A like a lot of us here). But she isn't even competitive with herself. She is okay doing a mediocre job at whatever she is doing. She has literally said that she just wants to do enough to get by. A lot of the problems she had on her last two jobs were because she wanted to do the bare minimum to skate by. Unfortunately I see some of these same attitudes she has about work manifest themselves in our daily lives. Half assed is good enough for her a lot of the time though she is quick to give a reason why she didn't try harder.
I really love this girl and she has a lot of great qualities. I genuinely want to support her emotionally as she tries to figure out this next stage of her life. I fear that until she realizes that she is responsible for her current state of affairs (at least in part) because of her lack of ambition and willingness to settle for being mediocre and just "punching the clock" that she is never going to be happy with what she does.
I should point out that her mom and dad are super Type A and very "success driven" so she has probably been conditioned to do the total opposite her whole life. I'm not saying that she has to make a 180 degree change but she definitely needs to move in the other direction.
So how do I tell her this in a way that doesn't make her think that I think that she is a hopeless cause? She is very sensative to criticism (aren't we all) and is already feeling down about being out of work and directionless. I want this to be a very positive conversation that will hopefully get her moving in the right direction. I can already hear some people saying that I am the one with the problem and that she should be free to live her life however she chooses. Let me point out that I'm financially supporting her right now and did so even when she was working. That is okay but I would feel a lot better about it if I felt that she was going to have a fundamentally different approach to her endeavors going forward. I want her to find something she is passionate about and then passionately pursue it. I just fear that in an effort to be totally different than her parents that she has doomed herself to a work life void of passion and I want her to have that as a source of happiness no matter what the cost to me financially or emotionally.
I hate to put this on an Internet forum of all places but I'm betting that a lot of the women here can relate to this and can hopefully help me communicate this to her in a positive way that lets her know that this comes from a place of love.
Any suggestions on how to help her find something she can be passionate about are welcome as well.
On a related note, if you know anyone hiring please let me know. ;-)