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Marriage Proposal Question
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Probably a dumb question, but I'm a guy. I'm planning on proposing to my sweetheart next week while on vacation. We've been together for four years, and it's time. We've both been married before. I don't have a ring for the proposal. My plan is for us to eventually go together and pick matching rings. If we went before, it would obviously ruin the surprise.
Even though we've both been to the rodeo before, I want it to be special and a surprise for her. Instead of a ring during the proposal, I was thinking of pearls. Pearls and anything to do with water has meaning for her.
My question is, do Womens still prefer a ring during a proposal?
Thanks Womens.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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You already answered your own question. At this point, go with what you know. The rest will take care of itself ;-)

DFL > DNF > DNS
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [SallyShortyPnts] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks. I'm not exactly sure how she feels about pearls, but water has meaning for her, and pearls come from the water.
I just want to know if its bad form to offer something other than a ring. To be clear, this question isn't trying to out women about expecting a big rock or something like that. I'm not trying to offend the Womens. I'm just a little slow about these things.
Thanks for the reply.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I don't think 'women' expect anything in specific. I think individuals have different expectations and desires. How would we know what she wants? It sounds like you know and have a plan, so go with it.

kelly dunleavy o'mara
@kellydomara
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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As others have said, different womens have different expectations, so it really depends on your womens. ;-)

I've been married for sixteen years (and counting), when my now hubby proposed, it was on impulse and not really a big planned thing. That's very much how he is and I personally liked getting to pick out my own ring. So, go with what you know about her and it will all work out fine.

Good luck!

M

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The beatings will continue until morale improves

My blog
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I never got an engagement ring -- a necklace instead, like what you want to do.

Some women 'have' to have a ring for symbolic reasons. I think you'd know by now if that's how she is . . . best wishes for a beautiful life together.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks to all who chimed in.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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My husband gave me a necklace that had sentimental value, but probably cost less than $30. It's special because it has a specific seed embedded in acrylic in it. It was perfect for us, and he knew I didn't want a ring, especially an expensive one.

I think it's great that you are doing something different and thinking about what she would want. That certainly bodes well for your future together :)
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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Would you perhaps be able to ask a friend of hers to broach the question subtly and get you an answer? I think it's an important moment, even if you've both done it before - it's unique because it's you two as a couple.

Another option would be to go pick out rings, but keep the "when and how" the surprise. I was so gauche as to send my (now) husband a link to a picture with "I'd like it to look like this". He surprised me with the size of the middle stone, but it was a ring I will love forever.


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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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How about a pearl ring? Since it isn't a diamond you could get her something really unique and not be stuck in the traditional engagement ring section of the jewelry store.

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Jen - @ultragrrl

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I think your idea sounds great. The pearls would be something special from the moment of the proposal, great idea connecting it to the water. I also like the idea of picking out rings together, it is something most people wear everyday, so why not ensure its exactly what they like.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I like the pearl ring idea. But if you want to go together and pick out a ring - which is probably what I would want since I'd be wearing the ring the rest of my life. You could go w a substitute ring. One cute idea posted on the main board was a guy proposed with a lollipop ring. That's cute and then you can still pick the perfect ring together.

Please let us know what you decide to do, and how it went.

Best wishes.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I've seen a bunch of ladies at my office get "presentation settings." Meaning the center diamond is given at the time of engagement, but in a temporary setting. Then you guys can go pick out or design the final setting. That might be another option if you aren't sure how to proceed.

I wouldn't have been upset with a pearl necklace or a lollipop ring either. The ring isn't *really* the point, the proposal and eventual marriage is. A pearl necklace has meaning for you guys, plus on a more practical note it is something that is easy to wear (even to the wedding.) It's definitely not inappropriate.

But I can't say I wasn't really happy when he proposed with my ring. I just got married last month. This was all new to me. I never wore jewelry, so think I stared at it constantly for about two weeks.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks again for all the advice. I'm leaning towards a pearl strand necklace. She would look great wearing that. Now I'm busy researching all the different styles of pearls!
Neither one of us wear any jewellery, so I think a pearl necklace would be nice for special occasions. As for choosing the rings, that was my thinking, that since she doesn't wear any rings, I want her to decide what she feels comfortable wearing, probably just simple matching bands.
Funny, I did seriously consider a raspberry (her fav flavor) ring pop at one point!

We're off to Arizona next week for a short break, and that's where I plan on asking. I will let you all know the outcome!
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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My husband took me ring shopping several months in advance of popping the question. So it was a surprise where and when. I liked that. Liked that I could choose the setting, but there was a sense of when when when...

I'm not a jewellery girl at all, but let me tell you, I look at the ring regularly (and this is 14 years later) and say out loud "Somebody loves me." Plus the ring is really spectacular and exactly the style I wanted. I actually wear my ring all the time, even when I'm sleeping and swimming.

I like the idea of presenting a pearl ring and then shopping for another ring together. The pearl necklace would also be great.

(But I do hope you get her a diamond ring if that's what she wants rather than just a band to match yours. If you don't offer a diamond, she won't ask for one. I also like the idea of asking a friend--maybe ask the friend to ask her if she wants a diamond. Even if she suspects that you put her friend up to it, she won't know for sure and she will feel free to speak the truth.)
Last edited by: karencoutts: Oct 30, 13 8:11
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [karencoutts] [ In reply to ]
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karencoutts wrote:
I'm not a jewellery girl at all, but let me tell you, I look at the ring regularly (and this is 14 years later) and say out loud "Somebody loves me." Plus the ring is really spectacular and exactly the style I wanted. I actually wear my ring all the time, even when I'm sleeping and swimming.

It's only been 10 years for me, but I do still find myself gazing at my rings, which I also wear all the time - I take them off for racing because I don't want to lose them or have anything happen to them (I've broken my wrist racing; if I was wearing my rings, they'd have had to be cut off).

My husband proposed very spur-of-the-moment without a ring, then let me pick my own engagement ring - I chose something very non-traditional that he'd never seen before, but it was exactly what I wanted. I also did some comparison shopping and got over 40% knocked off the price!


Aircraft grade titanium - tension set moissanite stone in the engagement ring. SPARKLY!

The proposal, to me, was more about the moment than any jewellery. That said, I do like the idea of a pearl necklace as a memento of the day, and yes it would be lovely to wear such a thing on the wedding day and anniversaries.

Best of luck with the proposal!

Cheers!

-mistress k

__________________________________________________________
ill advised racing inc.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I liked the ring pop idea the best. I think if you get her the pearl ring she might think......where's the diamond? IDK. Whatever you decide enjoy the moment :)

Jen Yanda
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I like the necklace idea! My husband proposed while we were on vacation in AZ... at the top of Camelback Mountain. It was super. There now hangs a photo of the mountain taken by a pro over our fireplace... my wedding present to him.

Go with your instinct. You know her better than a bunch of goof balls on the internet. :)
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [Jyanda] [ In reply to ]
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Why is it always assumed that women want diamonds? I specifically did not want a diamond and have a gorgeous custom made sapphire ring (that I don't wear very often - but it sure is pretty). My husband never wears his wedding ring, so he doesn't care that I seldom wear mine.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [mistressk] [ In reply to ]
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That is gorgeous, and so, so unique.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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My hubby proposed with a candy ring (which I then wore out to dinner) which was perfect given my huge sweet tooth. We have some awesome pictures from dinner that night. And I loved being able to go with him to pick out my own ring in a style I love.


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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I know you want the proposal to be a surprise, but picking out a ring together is always a safe option! A co-worker's husband (well, now ex-husband!) proposed to her THREE different times because she didn't like the ring. Diamonds aren't always a girls best friend ya know :) A pearl or any other gemstone will do the trick if that's what she wants! Make the proposal a great one!
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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I think your idea is wonderful. Touching, personal, sentimental, special. You know her better than we do. And it's even more indicative that you have put enough thought into it to be worried & ask for input.

Let us know what she says - though I suspect we already know the answer. Above all, enjoy vacation!!

AW
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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So wonderful that you want to make it special. You know her best. Do what you think she would like. Especially if you explained the pearl-water story. It's very touching. Plus there's a personal story behind it.

My husband proposed with Zipp race wheels. We joked that they were my engagement "rings." So, not everyone wants the traditional diamond engagement ring right away.
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Re: Marriage Proposal Question [triathlung] [ In reply to ]
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It's go time! Dinner in an hour at Elements at Sanctuary in Paradise Valley! Wish me luck womens!
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