Same boat as you... expecting at the very end of November. Wife and I started trying late last fall so I made the conscious decision (with her approval) to sign up for any and every race that I was interested in, which I did. However a lot of these I can transfer to someone else to get my money back since they are smaller races.

Thankfully my races will wrap up in October so I'll have a little over a full month where they aren't a distraction at all to get whatever else I need done. But I'm also using as much PTO as I can mostly from June - September to also work on projects and stuff that realistically need to be done before the due date.

Not sure if this helps, but figured I'd share.

A second kid tends to change the dynamic - obviously the infant will take a lot out of yours and her time. But if you also have a toddler around, suddenly you have 2 kids with different needs. If you're used to getting in your rides during nap time (or some other downtime) and the kids have varying length naps (or at different times) then it becomes harder to go for that ride and leave your wife with the kids (vs with just 1 kid).

If you have license to take another serious race program (however that is defined for you) for another season, I'd suggest that you go for it, especially if you're the type to regret it later. Once the kids get older and more independent, you'll be able to come back into the sport in a more serious way once again.

Though some tips for the interim: get a running stroller that also attaches to your bike. Try to involve the family as much as you can in your sport. Keep active as you can. Bike to work if its safe for some free exercise, etc.

To chime in with my experience - I did my last IM in Oct 2022, before the arrival of our second in Jan ‘23. I qualified for Nice ‘23 (they were rolling down), but I knew it wasn’t the right time. Whilst I continued to exercise every day, the level of time required wouldn’t have been acceptable to me on any level with a second.

As others have said, in my experience a second is a game changer, especially when the elder child is no longer napping. Obviously it is more rewarding, but also more busy, more stressful and it requires more planning / consideration / bargaining (even more so with two parents working full time).

As such, if you have a window now then in my opinion it would be a great time. But I also noted your comments on level of desire - my advice would be to only do it if you really want to, there will be other opportunities and it’s a long slog if you aren’t fully invested.

Fast forward to now and I’m planning to work on some speed this year, then race IM Hamburg in 2025 with full support from my wife.

I have nine children, aged 2-22, so all of the triathlon training I have ever done has been in the context of having young kids around the house. It can be done and does not need to involve any real sacrifice of family time. Kids are demanding, but not as demanding as some people would have you believe and a day has a lot of hours in it if you are willing to be creative and flexible.

A few things that worked for me:
1. split training into smaller chunks - I found it way easier to fit two one-hour workouts into a day than find one two-hour slot. Some days I do three 30-minute "workouts" because that's what fits. If you get into the mind-set of "some is better than nothing" you will set yourself up for success.
2. line your sleep hours up with your kids' - I go bed earlier than I did before having children and sleep 10-5.30. This gives me an hour to 90 minutes in the morning before the kids are up.
3. train at lunch time - this gets me 5 x 40 minutes every week.
4. accept that your training (especially for IM) will be "less than optimal" but that that's okay. I've done three IMs off the back of consistent 90 minute rides with an occasional long ride when an opportunity came up. I've never been able to schedule a "weekly long ride" but have been able to fake it on race day.
5. bike/run to work whenever you can.
6. get the family involved - my long run usually involves some of my kids riding their bikes with me; when I lake swim, I take the whole family to the lake as well (etc.), most of my yoga involves at least one of my kids jumping on my back (which deepens the stretch for sure).
7. have fun with it - when I train it makes me happy and calm, when I'm happy and calm, I'm a nicer person.
8. make sure your partner also has their own "thing" - whatever it is your partner enjoys, make sure they get to do that on a regular basis as well.

Overall, it's about priorities. If triathlon training is important to you, then you can and should find the time for it. Being a good parent does not mean giving up all of the things that you enjoy doing (that just leads to bitterness). If training makes you happy, then that will make you a far better parent (more patient, calmer, more fun).

I would highly recommend doing another Ironman or big race before number 2 comes along. I agree with all the posts and wanted to add a little bit of my own experience.

Before my first was born, I wanted to do one more IM and get a good race result (prior IM I screwed up nutrition). My wife vetoed me and we agreed on IMAZ, 6 months after our son was due. I got in phenomenal shape prior to his birth. After he was born, i missed all training for about a month. Once I returned to work, I started to build back into routine, but wasn't quite as consistent as before. Then the guilt came in. All the time spent training was time away from his little developmental milestones. At the end of the day, I was under-trained at IMAZ and DNF'd on the run.

Fast forward 2 years, I signed up for IMWI then we moved, and got pregnant again, but with a due date 7 months after the race. I wasn't in as good of shape, but having finished the Ironman before he was born really made that itch go away. After the little guy arrived, I slowly got back into training during naps, usually 15-30 workouts on my treadmill or trainer. Then did another IM after he was 2.

I follow a lot of the same practices that SamTriDad mentioned. Train early, get in mid-day workouts. I take Fridays off when i need to get a long bike ride in or I'll hire a babysitter if need be.

Good luck in your next race and congrats on #2