Financially, life is good. From a material basis things are great. Physically and mentally, not so much. The wheels started falling off at 50 after a dozen IM's plus the other stuff. My first neck fusion (mid/late 40's) went off great and I did an IM less than six months later in my usual not terrible time. Then a second, this time three level anterior fusion hit me several years later. I thought I'd be back just fine, but no. It turned out there was no fusion at six months and the hardware was loosening so we went back after six months and did it all again, this time from the back with two rods and eight more screws. That was three years ago.

Fast forward to today and things haven't gone as planned. I've tried "everything" including expensive "regenerative" medicine including a ton of stem cell/PRP/etc injections in my neck and back.

Tomorrow I leave for Jamaica for a "wellness (i.e. psilocybin) retreat." I've never tried it, but I have high hopes. If it doesn't help with the chronic pain I'm hoping it will at least help with all of the negativity and self-loathing for not getting better. I don't have any really specific goals other than to have it help somehow.

If anyone is interested I'd be happy to report back on how the retreat went.

Even though things are better from a financial perspective, there's something about the fall, rise and fall of the markets that has been a bit unsettling coming relatively close to when i plan to retire.

From other perspectives, the fact that i haven't sorted out any of the long-term personal/relationship issues is on me. Not as happy with work as i would like to be, but i am self-employed and can probably stop anytime i want, which is a luxury most don't have. I just need to get comfortable with the idea of retirement savings getting smaller over time....which would be a lot easier without the ups and downs of the S&P.

sometimes i think i will always find something to worry about no matter how good things are going.

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And the question remains. where were you.

I'm so sorry about your struggles and pain. I would love to know how it goes in Jamaica.

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Death is easy....peaceful. Life is harder.

I'll be happy to provide a report back.

I sold a piece of property a year ago for that reason. . Just 100 acres of woods but even the minimal maintainance of keeping the trails open and the drive to get there was wearing.

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They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot

Better.

early 2020 - living in Chicago outer suburbs at a job I did not love. Job eliminated as part of merger. Bought a cheap fixer upper in the UP to be able to enjoy the outdoors - XC ski, hike, etc.
2021 - completed online MBA using GI Bill entitlements that were expiring. Check the box for career.
2022 - took a job back to WI, where I have spent most of my career and kept in touch with some great friends. With a hybrid schedule, I go back to the UP a few times per month to XC ski, MTB, and kayak.

Today was not good

As we say "A 90 year old, 3 year old"

"Did you make a poop today?"
"Not much"
"But there was a poop?"
"Not significant. Not as much as I wanted"
"Don't feel you need to tell a story. Just Yes or no?"
"Then YES!!!! I made a deposit"

Somehow, I'm wrong for asking

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

You’re not wrong for asking. You’re wrong for wanting to truncate the conversation. Clearly you discuss intimate subjects with her. Why are you shying away from the details?

Edited to save a good subject for another day.

I owned a company with 60 employees - the stress of that and having to find enough money to cover that bill every month became too much - I got an opportunity to sell and took it nearly 4 years ago. And yet, I sit here having breakfast on a balcony in Alicante, where we are staying for 2 months, still worrying about stuff. I think that is part of human nature - at least, I will always find something to worry about.

I'm just living off savings - you have to get comfortable with watching your savings reduce - you can't worry about the stock market every day.

Reading this thread, I am surprised by the amount of people that say they're doing well financially. And from following the press in the UK, the opposite is happening to people - times are really tough.

This is an interesting thread, thank you for posting. I appreciated reading everyone's responses.

In taking stock of the past few years, like most people there are some areas that are better, some areas that are worse. Overall, I think I have been slightly worse off.

Health - Put on a couple of pounds that I am STILL trying to lose. I drank more, and ate less healthy. I made steps to improve on these in the recent months. On the other hand, I started seeing a counsellor around 2019 and continued on over the years. She commented recently that I seem better and brighter. I noticed that I am able to cope with the downs a little bit better and recognize my cycles more. I'll take that win.

Dating/Social life - It has been horrible despite my best intentions. I don't know how to date or meet the person I want to date. Most days are fine and busy, but I know that a social life/partner contributes to life satisfaction and want to do better in that area.

Hobbies - I tried various hobbies, and recently started judo. That actually has been positive, it is fun to learn something new, and I like the physical aspect of it. On the downside, starting a contact sport in my age has been, shall we say, not injury free.

I enjoyed and focused on travelling a lot pre covid, but got shelved over the pandemic. I took my first trip over Christmas and that reinforced how important it is to me.

Finances - Worse due to inflation, stagnation in my job, and a string of untimely vehicle repairs.

Honestly you are such a good person for taking your MIL into your home. My FIL also has dementia and is reverting back to a child as an 83 yr old. He will be in adult diapers soon. We got extremely lucky in that his awesome caretaker lives with him. She is an absolute saint. It's a situation that has been working very well for both our caretaker and our FIL. There is no way I could have my FIL live in our house. My husband feels the same way. I don't even like overnight guests in my house (sorry I know how bad that sounds but just being honest. I like my peace and can't handle chaos/change very well in my home). We have wanted to keep my FIL out of a nursing home due to the bad conditions even in the expensive ones located in my state. But I'd put him in a home before ever allowing anyone to live in my house. I would die if I had to change an adult diaper. I'm weak. I may do Ironmans for fun but adult care in any capacity is beyond me. Yes I'm a terrible person for all those who are drooling all over this and dying to criticize me........Oddly enough I can handle cat vomit, poop and pee outside the litter box. I have remained very calm in some past situations with a sick kitty.

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Death is easy....peaceful. Life is harder.

i think being better financially means different things to different people. i suspect many, but not all, of those on this board (me included) skew older and better-off than most, and have the luxury of looking at finances on a long-term basis. 401K or other investment value and direction impacts thoughts on financial well-being more than income that week or month.

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And the question remains. where were you.

It's a (mostly former) triathlete forum, it has always skewed whiter/older/wealthier than the general populace. We had threads on savings in which most respondents were socking away >20% of thir earnings.

"A 2015 survey conducted for the World Triathlon Corporation — the Tampa, Fla.-based organizers of Kona and other Ironman races — found that the average annual household income for Ironman participants is $247,000."

When Amateur Ironmen Pay For The Elite Treatment – Triathlete

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Death is easy....peaceful. Life is harder.

We really didn't have much choice as D'Wife's brother in SoCal just sent her to us one day "I've had her for 20 years. She's yours now"

Trying to get her into a Senior Facility has been fraught with misdirections and turnarounds

I'm basically non-compensated full-time Elder Care during the day, as well as my real job. I don't change her diapers, but I do empty the DiaperGenie in her room

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Oh gosh, that's rough. I'm sorry.

In Vermont you can compensate yourself from your dependent's savings for Eldercare. Medicaid will not go after that money if you decide later to go the Medicaid route and apply. But hopefully you can find a better solution for all parties.

Dementia care can cost $100K per year in certain facilities. And oddly enough I heard that confirmed on the radio today. It was in Boston and I actually thought that is cheap for Boston. $100K will get you basic eldercare where I live w/o the dementia care. Again that is for one year.

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Death is easy....peaceful. Life is harder.

It's been a few years now, and I don't recall details. But we went through taking in my wife's dad. His gf at the time said,
"His memory is changing, I'm breaking up with him. You figure it out".

We moved him in, then moved in health care aides, then moved him to a specialized dementia facility nearer his other daughter (cross country trip in a RV) as things progressed (or regressed). On the costs, a bunch of it was covered via long-term health care insurance (that he had the foresight to have). Would have been a prohibitive hardship otherwise.

It's mind boggling how expensive eldercare is these days. I don't understand how it can cost so much. I mean I get that everything is expensive these days, but I'd love to see a breakdown of how these facilities can justify the costs. What portion of that goes to overhead/building costs, nursing care/staff, food/medicine, administrative costs. I get that you have to cover costs and, in some institutions, make a profit. Maybe we are not doing it correctly here in the US? What am I missing? Or is $100K plus per year reasonable? Again I am digressing but I think RandMart might have won the "my life is worse" award after mentioning the diaper genie.

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Death is easy....peaceful. Life is harder.

Generally better.
One kid is closer to graduating from college, the other one is enrolled in a bullshit major. But she's talented as hell.
One dog died, the one is battling arthritis. I have been driving way less because of WFH.
Wife and I are older and grumpier. But we're in way better shape than we were 20 years ago.

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Next races on the schedule: none at the moment

I want to say better, but i have to be honest to myself.
My relations are bad at the moment and i don't know where i am with the job.
Other than that, results of my online hearing test are not very good and i need to find myself a good doctor.

Sorry to hear this. I hope things get better.

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

Still breathing in air and not eating the earth. Ever more proud of the kids and enjoying each new day pearl of wisdom provided by the grandkids. More fair weather days show on the horizon than foul. Fuck yeah Better!

Dramatically better, but that's not saying much. 2019/20 was hell, even before the pandemic.

In the spring of 2020 I was just completing a separation/divorce and still working with the ex (we had started the business together, sort of).

Now, she's remarried to a guy I really like (makes it much easier on everybody since we share custody) and seems to be doing well in her life. I'm genuinely happy for her. I've gone through a couple of relationships and finally feel like my eyes can clearly see the good and bad in potential romantic partners for the first time in my life.

My kids are healthy and doing very well in school and absolutely thriving athletically.

I'm in a great relationship and will probably marry her within the year.

I bought a commercial property, moved the business, and it's doubled since early 2020. My income has tripled and I'm really enjoying my job, have a great staff (and don't have to work with my ex wife anymore!!!) Also bought a house that I really like.

I'm less fit. Busier kids and two properties to take care of have displaced some exercise time but I'm hoping to get back to that now that the dust is somewhat settled.

All in all, it's a good place.